Who would win in a fight to the death between Simply Red and Zach?
The setting:
Small, enclosed arena with no exits. Enough room to maneuver, but not quite enough room for someone just to run away from their opponent. The weapons: Each contestant is armed with a heavy rubber mallet and a small flask of hydrochloric acid. http://one04design.files.wordpress.c...02/mallet2.jpg http://anthembranding.wpengine.netdn...r-Flask-02.png The rules: There are no rules. A small crowd of CP spectators watches through mirrored windows. |
Simply Red in a blowout.
|
What's the background between these two...?
Are they lovers? |
ROFL
|
they likely end up sucking each others' dicks, though.
|
This is the kind of mallet I am talking about if you need more details.
http://one04design.files.wordpress.c...02/mallet2.jpg |
Simply Red and he would then dress Zach's body up in stylish fashion.
|
A rubber flask ensures it will not be used as a weapon:
http://anthembranding.wpengine.netdn...r-Flask-02.png |
Zach would just bore him to death.
|
How small is the arena?
|
Hydrochloric acid is pretty wimpy as a weapon.
I'd take nitric, sulfuric, fluoric or even glacial acetic acid over hydrochloric. Kinda ruins the whole thread. |
Quote:
A cunning warrior would employ it well. |
Quote:
Hey, did you hear about soccer.................. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Is there padding or no padding in this arena?
|
Quote:
|
I don't care to know what this is about, but I went w/ SR.
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs1/1811962_o.gif |
Quote:
For some reason, I think Zach is bigger so he's got an advantage in a smaller ring. If it was bigger I'd go with Simply Red, but in a small ring I think Zach wins. If Simply Red is bigger I'll change my vote. |
How much did we pay Phobia to construct this wooden space?
|
Quote:
|
Tap out clothing.
|
Is a cup of hot coffee in a plastic cup present?
|
Quote:
|
Is this treated wood or untreated wood?
|
Quote:
The coffee is decaf, and it's very hot. 1 sugar, 1 non-dairy creamer. |
Quote:
|
What about the roof? What is the shape of it? Is it supported well?
|
Quote:
|
What kind of nails used to construct this room? This is key.
|
Soccer in the face, Red.
|
In an arena that small, it becomes more about quickness and being able to quickly dodge frequent attacks from that mallet.
Simply Red has Zach beat on this. I think the hydrochloric acid is worthless, unless Zach were able to squash Simply Red on the floor and force him to drink it. I will take Simply Red |
Quote:
:popcorn: |
People are forgetting that this is a heavy rubber mallet.
One decent blow to the head is all it takes to at least knock the other guy out. |
Also, what is the weather like? Is it storming?
|
Quote:
|
I'm gonna go with Zach. While I like SR most of the time, Zach could probably insult him in such a way that he'd run away and refuse to come back (then show back up a month or two later).
|
Is a bathroom break involved? If not, I could definitely see piss and feces becoming a large part in this fight.
|
Are there midgets?
(This is important) |
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
|
Zoccer is jacking of to his own soccer talk while giving himself an acid enema. SR can't survive the close confines and kills himself with blunt force trauma. As he falls the the ground Zoccer blows snot on SR and yells G-G-G-G-O-A-L!!!!!!!!!
|
Quote:
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/up...u-template.jpg |
Zach reminds me of Peta from the Hunger games book.
Does he have a chic with him that can shoot a bow in the middle of a back flip and take a testicle off of a field mouse at 150 yardss? |
Quote:
Quote:
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...HqunJoGWJ30tM1 Be careful what you stick in the hole. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
woah woah woah here. Spectators? So there will be windows? |
Quote:
|
Quote:
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
If SR could work up a kick to the head, he'd surely temporarily blind Zach with freshly polished loafers shined to perfection with a touch of lemon zest.
|
Out of these two, who balls the hardest?
|
SR, because I heard Zach has a vagina.
|
Reds the ****ing Baller Brah
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
I'll take Zach. He's a former offensive lineman. He'd pancake SR when SR told him he was wearing the wrong shoes for autumn.
|
Quote:
http://www.snuggieblanketfortwo.com/...he-snuggie.jpg It may not be removed. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Are they ribbed? So they can get traction in the mudd?
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
ROFL
Quote:
|
Simply Red, then take plenty of high-res pics of Zach's naked, dead body and post them at Livestrong Park.
|
|
Will this fight take place before, or after, a bowel movement?
|
Quote:
|
okay, so this is tit fighting only. hmmmm
|
Will there be a buffet present?
|
and the winner gets one of these pillows personally autographed by richard simmons
http://www.amlinkmarble.com/stone_re...age/pillow.jpg |
|
Quote:
|
In this proposed scenario we all win.
|
Zach and SR "stretching out" before the contest begins...
http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/9281/21631055.jpg |
|
|
Quote:
These kind of endings get me all choked up. I'm glad the two kissed and made up. Making up is the funnest part they say. |
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:52 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.