Beware of Angry Asian Girlfriends
 

Well, I just woke up from three days of partying that started Thursday night and culminated with last night's fiasco. My head hurts and my body aches for reasons other than the abuse of alcohol.

Some of you may recall my short-lived post regarding a date with a hot Asian chick I met a couple of weeks ago. Well, she's been nothing short of a spectacular, and quite honestly, some of the best damn sex I've ever had.

Well, last week, I get a call from an old girlfriend in KC. Turns out she's now divorced and some of her guy pals are coming for the weekend to do some skiing up in Vail. She wanted to know if I would like to hook up with her as she just wanted to hang in Denver and let the guys go skiing. I said, "Sure, we'll definately have to get together."

Anyways, so I tell my Ninja bed-buddy I'll be out of town this weekend and for her to make other plans. She was cool with that. My ex-girlfriend and I go out last night and we hooked up for some late afternoon drinking and catching-up. With the night still young, I suggest we go back to my place for some wine and some TV. She accepts my invitation, and so we go back to my place.

When I walk into my house- there's my Ninja boyfriend beater on the couch. She gets up and starts screaming at me in her poor English. It was like an intolerably bad Japenese film. I was shocked 'cause she doesn't have the keys to my house, and I didn't know if she had broken in or what. Needless to say, she's pissed. During her act of screaming at me, I try to calm her down and tell her that the female on my right arm happens to be an old friend from out of town. Well, my Ninja baby didn't by that and before I could say, "OH, s..." I hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. Within say, .08 seconds, my Ninja lover sent a furry of arms and legs at me. She killed CosmicPal. I was in some great deal of pain- writhing on my own living room floor watching the feet of the best sex stomp out my front door.

Of course, none of this went over well with my ex-girlfriend. So, she called a cab while I polished off a bottle of wine myself with an ice pack to my groin. I'm awake now. I screwed up again.

Exclamation: Holy shit!

Can you add a catfight element to this story? You're already halfway there.

Yeah, the chicks actually need to start fighting. It would help if they were in their underwear too.

I really wish it had been a catfight- she should have gone Ninja on my ex-girlfriend. But, that wouldn't have been right.

Rep just for admitting all this. ROFL

http://entimg.msn.com/i/gal/Sideways...3r_273x400.jpg

Ironic....just like out of the movie.

My roommate and his girlfriend were leaving for the night when she came to the door last night. They both like her, and I was pissed to find out that they just let her in. But, I don't blame them 'cause I told them I doubt very much if I were to bring my ex back to our place, and I doubt that I would want to do anything with her. But, I was wrong...

this thread is worthless without pics (of the chicks)

well, not every asian girl knows this kinda ninja-martial skill.
you just picked a wrong girl.

You should have just explained to your girlfriend that the reason why you brought the other girl over to your place was that you wanted to drink wine with the other girl and watch TV with the other girl.

That way you'd have increased the chances of getting even more of the asskicking you were entitled to. :thumb:

We'll have to see. I've got to try and talk to her in to forgiving me for my ignorance last night. But, if she doesn't- and continues to go Ninja on me- I can always post the pics I have of her....In the meantime, that ain't going to happen.

I would have LOVED to. But, she went ballistic on me as soon as I walked in- just the mere sight of her screaming at me was scary enough to keep me quiet and in shock.

Hot in the bed hot in the head! Just think she could of beaten up your ex and made you her bitch. You're lucky she left ROFL

PhilFree :arrow:

Lucky for you she didn't give you the chance to provoke her further by telling her the "drink wine and WINK-WINK watch TV" thing. ;)

So just for discussion's sake. If there had been a catfight, who would have won? And to the best of your knowledge, would either of them have become sexually aroused in the process?

So basically she now thinks you're a row rife reasel.

i think this is just a wannabe author's fictional fantasy.

nah,a fantasy would've ended up in a 3-way

Well, then, where's the naked catfight?

Don't you just hate it when the GF you're cheating on catches you with another woman. And then gets pissed at you. Geez... I hate when that happens. Women... They just don't understand us. :shake: :)

No catfight.....does that mean you are not worth fighting for?

:thumb:

ROFL ROFL ROFL

does make you wonder, don't it? http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/...eadscratch.gif http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/...eadscratch.gif http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/...eadscratch.gif

Right before your ex left, did you mention that the new girl gave the best sex? :hmmm:

Now that is funny............:):)

So, you got your ass kicked by Swan from MadTV?

"Who assaulted you sir?"
"I don know......she Roook, a rika mahn"

Maybe you can get a "learn how to fight 101" class discount if you sign up with kcchiefsman

"He look.... like-a man."

Damned edits..lol

You got your clock cleaned by a chick? :hmmm:

And you posted it here? :spock:

And I'm a drama-queen. :shake:

Rep? Hell, he ought to be banned. :shake:

Of course, the Asian chick might not have been that great a catch if, as cosmic claims, her arms and legs were furry.

I didn't catch that until you pointed that out....

mmaddog
*******

what do they call that?

a trifecta?

hey, what's a little fur here and there?

I've always thought dudes were better off dating women that couldn't whip them. Consider yourself lucky to find this out now. Had you waited until after you were married to know that she could whip you, the relationship probably wouldn't end so easily and you could turn into one of those rare battered husbands that's afraid to leave the wife and has to keep being subjected to her violent ways.


:)

yeppers...

he's already a battered boyfriend...

it's a short step to battered husband...

[creepy music]be careful cosmic...

be very, very cafeful...[/creepy music]

She is Chinese you freak, not Japanese, ninja isn't an issue. ROFL

Dude, seek help.

http://i.i.com.com/cnwk.1d/sc/100005114-2-120-0.gif

How many presses of 5 lbs can you do?

Let's recap - Screw girl, go out with old friend, go home with friend, find girl broke into your house, and girl kicks your ass?

I must have missed something here.

Some stories are better left unsaid.

True, but I never planned on marrying her. I really wasn't even that interested in dating her. She was nothing more than a sexual adventure and she obviously wanted more. Her broken English didn't go over well with me...

I can handle myself pretty well, thank you. When you're drunk and you have a gal standing next to you and you're not expecting someone to hit you- well, you're just not prepared for what will happen next.

I've had plenty of past girlfriends yell at me, but I've never had anyone hit me before- particularly a drop kick to the freakin groin.

Dude :shake:

BTW: Did you ever figure out "HOW" she got in your house?

If there were a song written for this, I'm sure it would go something like this...


Dang - it won't attach.

I would see about fixing how she got in the house so she won't sneak back in and have your nuts cut off or something.

Ancient chinese secrete.

Aww, yes grasshopper! Master say, "It is not wise to have martial arts girlfriend who go crazy, kick boyfriend in nad sack and not have deadbolt on door."

Yes, I described that in post #8

ROFL

Always consult other 1/3 when wanting to have a threesome ! :hmmm:

If you'd played this a little more "fonzie" and a little less "Squiggy".......you might have turned this into a chic sammich.

I don't know that song. Does it mean that she pulled his testicle off?

ROFL

i don't usually get up this early, but it seems like you are even funnier in the morning...

Why does everyone attach images? It's much less time consuming to post them through IMG tags.

WTF? Who the hell are you, the BB image nazi?

you're the nerd, you're supposed to keep us old farts up to speed regarding the mechanics and techniques that make navigating chief planet more conducive to conversation...

or something like that...

Tedious Explanation: When I want to post an image of say, Tony Gonzalez, I go to google image search, type in Tony Gonzalez, get the link, and then throw it in IMG tags. I don't understand why someone would take the time to attach it to their post, unless you already have a pic stash of Kung Fu on your hard drive.

Cosmic,

That sucks... perhaps you can file a battered spouse complaint and get some revenge? :)

This reminds me of my roommate's girlfriend, the epitomy of the crazy Hispanic girlfriend.

A lot of groin kicking and bashing. It's called "wife meets girlfriend".

I can't find it out on the web like gochiefs says he can, maybe he would oblidge

I'm sure you can, but when a girl kicks your ass I'm required to question your manhood. It's in the by-laws.

Then the website that you ripped the jpg from goes down, and people will forever wonder what f**k you are talking about when there is no picture left to tie your disjointed thoughts together. If the pic is important to the post, I attach it.

I'm married to an Asian woman and I do my very best not to piss her little azz off. I sure wouldn't cheat on her. She has reminded me on many occasions; that it's not uncommon in her culture to cut off a Mans penis if caught cheating.

Don’t feel to bad Cosmic! I’ve been in many altercations in my life, and I’ve only gotten my ass kicked once. In sixth grade a girl whooped my ass, of course that’s because she liked me and didn’t think I was returning her affections. Needless to say I succumbed to her lustful ways and was better for it. :thumb:

Maybe she was just inviting him to Phuket. He should go back and listen again.

Well, I have to call her tonight when I get back home...

I do have to apologize...I'm not going to ask for her forgiveness or anything like that- just tell her I honestly screwed up and apologize for lying to her.

But, if she ladens the phone call with f-bombs everywhere- I'll consider it my loss. Finding gals like this is why I'm still single.

Looks like it's time to post some pics of hot asian chicks, just to brighten up the day a little...

Seriously, you took a direct hit to the groin? I've my share of minor ball busters in the past, but never a direct hit. I saw a guy take a kick to his groin and it made him puke. Not cool for anyone to do that, no matter how pissed they are. You would be wise to avoid this female ninja.

The worst hit I ever took from a girl friend didn't actually hit me. She was sitting in the passenger seat of my care, leaned back in the seat, put her legs up and kicked at the inside of the windshield of my car. She left a nice crack on her first attempt... Damn hondas... :(

Yep...

The worst hit I evah took was when I was a freshman in college. We were playing intramural softball and I was the catcher. We were playing this other team made up of predominately football players on the university's football team.

Anyways, this guy on second base was a linebacker- 250 lb and probably ran the 40 in .08 secs or something. Last inning- two outs- we're ahead. Guy at bat hits a looper into the outfield and the LB dude comes racing around third base for the tying run- our CF threw a beautiful one-hopper to me and as soon as I snatch the ball in my glove I turn to swipe the incoming LB who is just beginning his slide. Before I could do anything, I notice his leg sticking up in the air instead of along the ground.

The heel of his foot went right into my freakin' balls. The force of his foot combined with his slide sent me tumbling back all the way toward the fence. I held onto the ball, but I was in the most intense pain evah. My teammates all ran up and all piled up on me to make things even worse.

Needless to say, I couldn't walk for a long while and really, really had to pee, but it hurt too much....That night- I did a load of shots and drinks to numb the pain that still lingered...but, I was a hero.

Its been a while, show the pictures..

I completely forgot about GoChiefs KOTOR phase.

I miss all the good stuff.

Hey, I wonder if I can find a hot, crazy asian chick who's great in the sack. That's just what I need.

With your overwhelming optimism this shouldn't be a problem for you.

I'm the most optimistic person you'll ever meet.

God I hope not.

I'm very high on the future. It's the present and past I'm not thrilled with.

I'd take an angry asian gf... you know... for a night or three, anyway.

I think we word we're searching for is "prostitute".

Either way you go, you're paying for it.

Yep. At least with a hooker, you know she won't overstay her welcome, she'll be happy when she leaves, and she probably won't mind coming back when you need her.