Help help there's an alien outside my house
 

A big scary one. What should I do?

Lame...

Chase him off with your lightsaber and go back to bed, you silly twat.

And don't forget your headgear before you go out there!

I can't do that! There might be more out there.

Get yourself abducted. I hear lots of stories about hot alien chicks collecting human "seed".

Put something large in all of your orifices so they can't probe you.

Why, why, why do I open his threads :banghead:

I guess it is like a car wreck you just have to look.

SHIT SHIT IT'S LOOKING AT ME THROUGH THE WINDOW!

I'd ask it if they have a cure for "loser" on their planet...

This may be the gayest thread ever. You've truly gone where no man has gone before.

It's in the room. It's just staring at me.

You made it laugh. It wants to post something.

I'm giving the computer to Xlibutscrale now.

Hopefully it'll keep it.

GRREETINGS EALRHTINGS. I WILL ATTEMPT TO USETHIS PRIMTIVE COMMUNICATION DEVICEE. MY MONIKER IS XLIBUTSCRALE OF THE GALAXIES SEVENTEEEEN.

WTF IS GOING ON, EARTHLING?

He's no "alien". He's just from down the road a bit........

AM I UNDERSTANDING THAT THISSS IS JOKE MADE OF EARTHLING? I WILL ATTEMPT YOUR STYLE OF LAUGHING: HA HA HA HA. SUCCESSSS, YES?

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE OF THIS PLANETOID. WHAT CAN YOU OF THE PLANET TELL ME?

We worship a goddess known as tubgirl. You can find her temples through google.com.

Is this the new "night crew" thread??

Well, I'm looking for some motivation to keep normal sleeping hours. This sure as fuck fits the bill.

THANKING OF YOU, KEGINKC.

I WILL EXPLORE SAID WORSHIP ITEM OF YOUR PEOPLES PLANET.

I WILL NOW FIELD QUESTIONING FROM ALL OF YOUS. WHAT ARE WE WISHING TO KNOW OF?

the earthling next to you requires assimilation.

GRACIOUS THANKS, STEVIERAY. UNFORTUNATE THAT IT IS WE ARE NOT REQUIRING ANY SUBJECTS OF STUDY AT THIS PRESENT MOMENT.

Aren't you going to ask us if we want the Big Gun, or the Good Package?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

What if... what if it REALLY IS AN ALIEN USING GOCHIEFS' COMPUTER?! :eek:


FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHIT, MR XLIBUTSCELSIORPANTS!

ALL WILL DECIDE AT SOME POINT IN FUTURE. FOR NOW I SIMPLY REQUEST QUESTIONS OF YOU AND OTHERS. YOUR PICTURE APPEARS AS A ROBOT ON MY SHIP...THE RESEMBLANCING IS UNCANNY, EARTHLING.

Will the gayification of the Planet never stop?!?!

One

Tah-HOOOO

Three *crunch*

Three.

Amazingly it appears this was a bad call. Who would have believed there could be something worse?

Yeah, not my best work there.

Time to go watch a movie I think.

Do you like pizza, XLUBITSCELFANDI?

THIS EXISTS AS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION, TK13. ALAS, MY SPECIES GREATEST MINDS HAVE DEVOTED THEIR LIVING TO ACQUIRING THE SOLUTION TO YOUR INQUIRY, AND HAVE REACHED NO ANSWERING. I SHOULD INFORM TK13 THAT ON MY HOME PLANETOID OF FLIXRAN, WE LABEL YOUR "TOOTSIE ROLL POP" as "GRISHCLOR SIMSOXE."

PSICOSIS, THE MONIKER OF I IS XLIBUTSCRALE. PLEASE CORRECT FUTURE STATEMENTS OR I WILL BE FORCED TO ATOMIZE YOUR STATE. MANY THANKINGS.

XLIBUTSCRALE, a few of our species are weaker than the rest. These pitiful beings, in their early years, provide amusement for the strong by taking their rightful place as the center of cruel jokes and giving up their midday nourishment allowances after physical assault. As these sad creatures grow into a state of submaturity (they never reach full maturity, flawed as they are), they become paranoid, unable form interpersonal relationships, and upset the delicate balance of the species.

A far advanced species, such as yours, must have some way of eliminating these types. Do your people identify and eliminate them early in their lives, or wait until later to destroy them?

Would you please demonstrate the means your species uses to eliminate such undesirables? Feel free to use the candidate there in the room with you.

Thank you.

Wow, all we need now is to get this guy in some kind of writing competition with TommyKat, Kcnut, drunk kotter and skinbra.

TRNDOBRD, MANY THANKS FOR YOUR QUESTIONAIRE.

UNFORTUNATELY DUE TO INTERSTELLAR TRAVEL I HAVE BEEN ABSENT FROM MY HOMEWORLD OF FLIXRAN FOR MANY YEARS. TIMES MAY HAVE CHANGED.

TO ANSWER YOUR INQUIRY, I CAN ONLY RESPOND WITH MY PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES. YOU SEE, I USED TO BE ONE OF THESE "PITIFUL BEINGS," OR AS WE REFER TO THEM ON FLIXRAN, "ENWOT PIKS." WE WOULD CLEANSE OUR NOBLE SOCIETY OF THESE DREGS BY PUTTING THEM TO WORK IN ZOPRANG MINES. FORTUNATELY I ESCAPED FROM THIS LIFE AND AM NOW A SUCCESSFUL GALAXIAL EXPLORER.

IT IS WITH REGRET THAT I CANNOT USE MY GRACIOUS EARTHLING HOST TO DEMONSTRATE OUR CUSTOM TO YOU. BESIDES, HE IS NOT A VERY GOOD REPRESENTATION ONE OF OUR ENWOT PIKS.

IT IS MY HOPING THAT I HAVE SATISFIED YOU.

ALSO THIS "PEPSI" BEVERAGE YOU EARTHLINGS CONSUME IS QUITE TASTY. MY COMPLIMENTS TO YOUR TERRAN CHEFS.

ELBORRACHO, I HAVE BEEN HAMPERED BY USE OF YOUR PRIMITIVE COMMUNICATION INSTRUMENTS (WE FLIXRANS TRADITIONALLY COMMUNICATE VIA PURE THOUGHT), BUT I HAVE ADAPTED QUITE QUICKLY, WOULDN'T YOU CONCUR?

ROFL Wow.

I am most pleased that you enjoy our "pepsi". It is best enjoyed with another Earth beverage known as Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. The subhuman creature in the room with you was trying to hide that information from you.

Being new to our humble planet, you have not had a full opportunity to judge our species. Please, rest assured, the being in the room with you is among the foulest of what you would call "ENWOT PIKS". The eternal friendship of our peoples would be secure if you would be so kind as to rid our planet of this creature.

Humanity thanks you in advance.

Someone should really make sure Skip gets this one.

MANY THANKS FOR YOUR CULINARY ADVICE, EARTHLING. MY HOST HAS HIDDEN NOTHING FROM ME, AS MY SPACECRAFT'S SENSOR CATALOGUED HIS FOOD AND BEVERAGE INVENTORY FROM ORBIT. I TAKE IT THIS "RUM" IS A FORM OF MIND-ALTERING SUBSTANCE. SUCH A DEVICE IS LETHAL TO OUR KIND. WE PREFER PURE DISTILLED FLIXRANSIAN RAIN TO, AS YOUR KIND SAYS, "GET US HIGH."

YOUR REQUEST MAY BE FILLED, ALTHOUGH PERHAPS NOT IN THE MANNER YOU WISH. MY HOST'S ADVANCED BRAIN HAS INTRIGUED MY SUPERIORS ON FLIXRAN AND THEY DESIRE HIS PRESENCE FOR STUDY. MY HOST HAS INDICATED HE WOULD BE HONORED, PROVIDED WE SKIP THE ANAL PROBING.

that actually was humorous

As you wish. As a representative of the Planet Earth, please take the pitiful little creature with you as a token of our esteem and friendship. May discecting his brain provide you many moments of enjoyment.

It is said by some, that a tenth of the Earth people do not find the anal probing distrubing. The creature in your presence may be one of these. It is also possible he is attempting to hide other things from you. I suggest you utilize your largest probe to investigate these matters futher.

With that restriction how will you study his brain?

ROFL

Was this thread deleted and subsequently un-deleted?

I really feel like kicking a dog right now, but I'm not taking one off iggy just to do it...

IT APPEARS SO. APPARENTLY THE CHANCE OF CONTACT WITH AN ADVANCED RACE SUCH AS MINE WAS TOO GOOD TO PASS UP. I AM GRATEFUL, FOR OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE BEEN FORCED TO STRONGLY CONSIDER VAPORIZING LARGE LAND MASSES.

don't let him shove anything up your butt unless you like that .


:spank:

W should have some kind of witching hour on the planet where deleted threads are un-deleted for a short time, maybe midnight to 2am. Imagine the fun of revisiting Kotter's meltdown. There must be others.

Yeah, like that time Taco John posted all those pictures of himself in pink lingerie... not pretty.

IT HAS BEEN ENLIGHTENING. I AM GETTING A RED LIGHT ON MY GALAXIAL COMMUNICATOR, HOWEVER. I MUST MAKE PREPARATIONS FOR MY NEXT TRIP. SOON YOUR PLANETOID'S ROTATION WILL BRING THE LIGHT OF YOUR STAR TO MY LOCATION, MAKING IT DIFFICULT FOR AN UNDETECTED TAKEOFF. THANKFULLY YOUR PRIMITIVE AIR TRACKING SYSTEM IS NO MATCH FOR MY STEALTH COMPUTER.

I HAVE OBTAINED THE SCHEMATICS TO ONE OF YOUR "PERSONAL COMPUTERS," THEREFORE I WILL RETURN FROM TIME TO TIME.

IN PROPER FLIXRANSIAN FASHION, I BID YOU ALL "FAJLAKIKAFOZLOM."

YOURS, XLIBUTSCRALE.

See? there is something I missed that sticks out in your mind about Chiefsplanet. Why was it deleted, do you remember?

Yes the legend of the pink lingerie was quite a tale.

Was it just silly photoshop stuff like Phil's pink socks or was this really Taco in pink lingerie?

You know, I think XLUBENSTEIN seemed like a pretty good guy.

Yeah, he's OK.

I agree, but I couldn't win any of his money.

Even Jimmy Kimmell won more than you.

He always bluffs when he gets a pair of 4's...

You would not have liked it, it said TSURT EW SINEP NI.

He told me they don't have money on Flixran. Also, you should see that guy type.

That is true. I hear their neighboring planet, "SEBAB TOH", is a really nice place to visit, but their species just drives around it a few times before hurdling themselves in the opposite direction back through the galaxy, so the currency doesn't have much value except on their home planet.

He may be scientifically advanced, but I bet I could kick his ass at minesweeper.

That just never gets old. :clap:

Maybe the first time. Did you see how quickly he learned to type?

How can you be so sure it was a he?

When he wasn't replying to your questions, he was checking out the girly thread.

Because Gochiefs was aroused...

Both answers made me laugh. Repping you two will be my last act of the evening.

g'night.

What, no hall of classics consideration?

Phil's pink socks were not Photoshopped.

This thread set the Planet back five years.

The Power Of Xlibutscrale.

X GON GIVE IT TO YA

break out the barbequeue sauce and fire up the grill!

I got dibs on the drumstick.

Dude, what movie is that?

STAY OUT MY WAY MUTHA****A