New Posters, Lurkers and Noobs...Front and Center.
 

I'm Iowanian and I'll be your tour guide today Please remain seated at all times while the Tram is moving, and as always, thankyou for visiting Chiefsplanet.....[/nasal crackled speaker recited speach voice]

This issue has been coming up in several recent conversations....that new posters and those who don't post often, don't feel welcome, or comfortable to make comment. The Offseason, when its slow, is as good a time as any, to wade into the pool.

Let me say, that prior to joining the planet(a new start) I was very uncomfortable posting at the star.....because "these internet people seem to know each other". I sort of felt like I was interupting someones conversation at a cafe or something. It took "the mike keck incident" to make me just do the cannonball into the pool. I wasn't comfortable until I had an oportunity for a fresh start, when chiefsplanet came online....and it took awhile after that.

Every poster has a story and a personality. Those who have been here a long time, probably know enough about each other's lives to scare the shit out of all of us....just from accumulation of tidbits through the years.

This is your Oportunity to step forward. Introduce yourself. This is a safe place. Let us get to know you, and if anyone is a prick for no reason on this thread, I'll stick my thumb in their Router.

Enjoy this comlimentary coupon for all newer posters for 1 free oportunity, after reading Iowani-commentary for years-months-weeks to sign the fan book, or tell me I'm an ________________.

Welcome.

Welcome, New folks. Without you guys, we'd be the same old boring bunch of people day in and day out. Enjoy your stay.

BigHead Sauldo was new once...Just like the rest of us.

I love everyone.

That better be a Snickers Bar floating around over there by Endo's Date.

Hi, I'm apics1. I joined in April of this year. My first post was not until May because I thought you guys were a bunch of assholes who would bust my ass if I posted. Low and behold first few posts Metrolike and Simplex 3 busted me out but that did not intimidate me because I've become an asshole myself. So I fit right in.

I am not a Chiefs fan and do not play one on TV but you guys treat me just like I am one of you. I like big titties and a nice round rump and visit/post at the girly pic daily. I have over 1300 posts to date and enjoy the environment here. Thank you and have a good day.

You are not a Chiefs fan? Who are you a fan of?

1300 posts in 2 months? Wow!

I reside in Indiana. :hmmm:

I know, I'm a loser.

No shit get a life loser. :p

'Noobs' That's a funny word...

Apic........The Irony is that Metro is relatively new, and has drawn more than his share of heat....most of it was deserved.

What is your team of Choice? Feel free to drop any appropriate info, or take this 1 opportunity to take a free body shot at Iowanian.

Cool, this looks like a great place for all of the regulars to post whore.

I think it means flabby man boobs kinda like what Iowanian has.

Yeah, thats almost ENDelt's pace...

ROFL Nah I'll pass. I guess I do not know why I am the only "noob" so far to post in this thread? Everyone else scared or something?

Wow - thank God I had my finger close to the ban button. No dirty Colts fans allowed.

My Name Is: leviw

I've been lurking since March but recently got up the nerve and decided to jump into posting.

I enjoy: Priest Holmes' facemask before he switched to the visor, Tony DiPardo's collection of Dante Hall's footballs, Tony G taking time to gather himself before dunking the football over the goalposts (Denver '03) as opposed to catching the ball and maintaining his sprint right to the goalpost for the dunk (Oakland '04), Trent Green's facial expressions after burning a timeout because Chris Horn doesn't know where he's supposed to be, thinking about how Al Saunders has overcome the stinch and residue of Paul Hackett in the coaches' box.

More seriously though: I enjoy being a member of the greatest fans in the National Football League and being 1/79,000th of the Loudest Stadium in the NFL whenever I have the chance. Thanks for letting me be a part of the Planet!

Dirty? I'm rather clean and harmless. At least I'm not raider or bronco fan, no?

Hi.
I'm Ben.
I like the Chiefs.
I don't like Star Wars or fantasy football.
I enjoy Magellan gin, rocks.
I enjoy watching people smash each other when I can't smash other people.
I like a few of you, can tolerate most of you, and the few that seem to suck ass, everyone agrees they suck ass.
Thank you

Oh, and gochiefs is teh ghey

How is that pronounced? Is it 'LeView'?

Alright, I gotta know. Who is Og? Gotta be someone's alter ego.

He is very original and has not typed anything. Just posts visuals. I like him/her/it. :thumb:

The "e" and the "i" are silent you bafoon!

Welcome Ben and leviw.

I don't have any smartass comment to make but I am glad you have joined the best community on the intranet.

Hi, my name is bgguitarman. I drink too much like Endelt, but I don't bring the fat ladies home. I live in Omaha. Oh, and I think the Roy's have an unhealthy obsession with Rich Scanlon.

I think its funny, and cool, that the people who don't post often, or are new, already know all the Chiefsplanet inside jokes.

Levi Williams? Levi Waters? Levi Wampum?

Strauss

Welcome all! As you may have observed, this is so much more than a bunch of RednGold Koolaid addicts. Any topic is open for...uh-em...discussion.

This is how Apics 1 gets 1000 posts in a week. He will post about anything just to see his number increase
:p

No kidding. Cracks me up. According to our hits logs (as best as I can ascertain), there's roughly 10 people reading for every person posting.

Have we overlooked the initiation process?

When I joined the Planet, I was told I had to down a dozen shots of Tuaca, run around the neighborhood wearing nothing but my red Chiefs cowboy hat, get behind the microphone and sing Queen's "Another Bites the Dust" with a billiard ball imbedded in my azz in front of a group of old women playing Bingo, and dress up in a Batman costume and chase down any unsuspecting Bronco or Raider fan.

All of this and more, before I was permitted to post on the Planet.

Uhhhh, I thought everyone had to do some sort of initiation...this is BS!

welcome new guys.

In some way, its a little creapy knowing people have been watching, and taking note in the shadows. I feel a little bit...dirty.

Chagrin........this is the one new poster I can't figure out...almost something "familiar" but I just can't place it.


We just did that to you because you were a damn hippy and high when you arrived, cosmic. Just for sport, no hard feelings...Still can't believe you did the pool ball thing on your own.

I think Iowanian is just trying to get all the n00bs in one place so he can gun 'em down.

Try it backwards- his name is Weivel Kneival

Could a mod reset Skip's post count to zero please?

I thought the same thing. He blended in like he had been here for a long time.

If Chagrin started posting limericks.....

I'm not saying I've "investigated" his activity, I'm just saying his sense of humor fits in well. Hopefully Brando won't catch wind of this.

Iowanian doesn't bash anyone simply for being new..........Its for being a dumbass or an asshole, or in beerme's case, both.

I first registered to post in a thread like this after lurking for a little while. Be careful what you wish for!

ROFL

Thats pretty much what I suspect, and its ok with me. In truth, there are a couple of posters, who could start fresh and probably be fine if they just wanted to be.

there is only 1 way to get a reputation on the faceless, nameless internet, and that is with the content provided by your "character".

Which brings me to ME!

Good day,

I joined in April, I am a recovering drug addict...oh sorry, wrong BB.

Okay, Chagrin F'ing up take 2!

I joined in April and came across this board last year but did think I would have the time for it so I didn't join...how wrong I was!

Last night I finally joined in a discussion in the D.C. Forum, a place I don't go to post in but to read mostly. I have been a CHIEFS fan since I was 9, I am 35 now. I do not have a child of my own but a step child, she's 8.

I didn't join to get in fights and bitch at people, I know that alot of folks join these things just to piss people off, not my style. I am straightforward and tend to be crude, although I don't really mean to hurt anyone. I simply "call it like I see it". The one thing I would say I dislike the most is the ones who try to insult people just to insult people, and the one or two individuals that try to recruit the veterans to buddy up with them, ass kissing, so they will feel like they are important in the world; even though he, I mean they are idiots. I don't like to fight but am not afraid to get it on with whomever pushes the right button.
The one thing I like the most about this board is that some of you here are very knowledgeable football fans and have your fingers on the pulse of what's happening in Chiefs country, aside from Gretz and the shit on kcchiefs.com. I like to sit back and read the insight, and have learned alot from it.

I like beer, music, pussy and I am a cancer survivor. My humor ranges from child like, perverse to dry and intelligent (although I show none of it here).

Finally I hope one day to meet some of you, although I dont' know when I could make it to Mecca for a game anytime soon.

Sorry for the detail, there it is.

Which is a mistake I made in my management efforts of this board early....

I outed ChiefsPride's newly created accounts just because I could. Mistake. He's here every day and fits in well. He learned from a couple prior mistakes and is a valuable member. Everybody deserves a chance to start fresh on the board. I'm sure there's quite a few success stories about which we'll never know.

Thanks dude!
I have posted limericks here before. Me and my buddy's back home used sing the rugby songs after games...

Come on guys:

There once was a young Senator from Boston Mass....

Thanks Chagrin,
It would have taken 5-6 months to build these cliff notes on you.
1. Cancer survivor...give insite to medical discussion
2. thinks I'm an asshole...joinin the crowd
3. Long time Chief fan, can't come to KC so he's bluffing when he says he's going to shank me.
4. Has Buttons.......to do: Locate them

Pretty close, 'ceptin you're not the asshole I'm referring to.

excellent thread by the way

who me?

He may not be "the asshole" but he is certainly an asshole all the same. :)

thats your free one, jumbo....you're not "New".

Hi, I'm Trekker. I've been lurking for a long-ass time.

I'm a moody and stubborn Taurus. I enjoy long walks on the beach at sunset, zone blocking schemes, and garlic mashed potatos.

I have no inside sources in the Chiefs organization nor do I understand how the salary cap works.

I do, however, come from a long line of drinkers and eaters from whom I learned the in's and out's of tailgating in the shadow of the pressbox at Kinnick Stadium.

ROFL

thank you, that made my day.....

Nick?
Nick Athan?

Kick ass. Don't forget where the http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/images/reply.gif button is now. We can always use more :IA: fans.

Iowa fan Phob? Must follow Bob Sanders and Dallas Clark then.

And remember, newbies. Work from an assumption that we're all assholes... 'cuz to somebody, all of us are.

Some more universal than others, right ®®?

I'm guessing it's chiefs4me.

Not any longer - they belong to the dirty Colts now.

ROFL

I joined last year but never really posted until this year. Everyone seemed to know everyone by first names.......I was scared and alone......I finally got up enough balls to speak my mind......usually it's pretty blank that's why I don't post alot..........I started off so well with positive Rep.....it's been all down hill........I have been called everything from a commie to a noob.........ahhh it's so nice to have new friends.

I'm donkhater. I've been here since the beginning. I post more in the season, but probably not often enough that many (if any) of you recognize my name.

I do check up on this place virtually everyday, though so I guess I would be better classified as a lurker.

I'm Coach. I joined the planet in March 2004, and it's been a good ride. I try to visit and post at the planet at least daily. Just a little tip to you newbies, just be yourself and don't be afraid to speak what's on your mind.

I wonder...when my parents named me Levi, did they think that I'd ever hear, "You mean, Levi, like the jeans?" or "Levi Strauss...(insert girly laugh)". I should inquire about that.

Nope, not Apics1 either

See, I thought you were just our source of entertainment that night!

There are 70 members and 30 guests looking right now. I KNOW that some of you, whose username's we've never seen before are Thinking about posting.

let me Push you over that line.

At least pop in and say hi, how long you've been lurking and what you enjoy and or dislike about the board.

Come on in...the water's fine.

beer me?

At least it wasn't Michael Bolton....

Welcome to the Fray, little buddy.

I think before any child is named, a group of core planet users should be consulted, and given 1hr in a thread to determine the possible fallout from that chosen name.

Trust me..you could be doing worse than bluejean Jokes....Your name isn't Fonda Dicks.

Here's one of the old songs...

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no ****ing use to anyone.
He's no ****ing use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother
But he's a pain in the asshole to me.

So drink mother ****er,
Drink mother ****er
Drink mother ****er, Drink!
Drink mother ****er
Drink mother ****er, Drink!

Why are we waiting?
We could be masturbating.
Oh, why are we waiting?
Oh why, why, why?
He ought to be thoroughly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot,
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.

Here's another old favorite...

I used to work in Chicago
In the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in for a hammer,
A hammer from the store.
A hammer she wanted, nailed she got,
I don't work there anymore.

chorus

A woman came in for some nails,
Nails from the store.
Nails she wanted, screwed she got,
I don't work there anymore.

chorus

A woman came in for some paper... a ream she got

A screen door... the back door

Some meat... my sausage

A ham... porked

A hammer... banged

A carpet pile she wanted... shagged

A fishing rod... my pole

Some beef... porked

A camel... humped

A helicopter... my chopper

A KitKat... four fingers

A Mars bar... the Hershey highway

A sailor... my semen

Some jewelry... a pearl necklace

A translator... cunning linguist

A pencil... pen iteration

A computer... my Wang

A floppy disk... My hard drive

A doughnut... glazed she wanted. cream filled she got

An elevator... my shaft

A spring... BOINGed

A screwdriver... screwed

Some bolts... my nuts

A T-bone... my boneless round

A gun... banged

Some nylons... my hose

A floppy disk... my hard drive

Some gift wrapping... packed

Some velvet... felt

Some liquor... lick her I did

Some bolts... my nuts

Some plastic... rubbers

Some plumbing... my pipe

A pipe... my hose

Some liquid Plumber.. her pipes cleaned

Some seafood... lobster ... crabs

Some beer... 6-pack

A balloon... blown

A lollipop... licked

A horse... ridden

Some wheels... rimmed

Milk... cream

Some butter... spread

A ****... ****ed

You are not fooling any of us with that Levi W business. Clearly your user name is an anagram of "Evil W". Shouldn't you be raising Skip's gas prices or something, Mr. President?

All very true. I forgot to mention the ever classic, "Oh, Levi. That's a great Jewish name."

And I'm sure it would be, if I were Jewish.

A (repeat)

A Big (repeat)

and so it goes...

Aye, aye, aye aye...your'e sister's in love with a carrot, SO
sing me another verse, worse than the other verse, and play with my balls til I'm silly...

Good job dude!

Well, what you could do is go something like approach a hot babe who is wearing Levi's jeans and go something like

"Hello, my name is Levi, and I am an certified Levi's jeans inspector. I am here to inspect your jeans to determine if they are in good condition."

:shrug:

Nope, beer me's cool

leviw...

levyw...

levyworth...

hey - he's posting for Leavensworth!