Got Tazerd Tonight
 

So I decided to go out to the bars with my girlfriend and some friends. Everything is going well when all of a sudden one of my girlfriends friends come out of nowhere crying and saying she wants to go home.

Apparently a cab wasn’t good enough for this little diva by her standards or more importantly my girl’s standards so I wind up driving her home.

No problem right. WRONG.

After driving her across town (still completely sober) I get back downtown, park the truck and start walking to the bar where my friends are at. All of a sudden behind me I hear “yo tough guy!”.

Apparently this guy is the reason she was crying. I still don’t know if he’s an ex-boyfriend or what the hell his relationship is with her.

I assume he’s not talking to me and keep walking. Next thing I know I get shoved from behind and turn around just in time to get a bottle broken over my head. I’m down on one knee and the self preservation instinct kicks in so I get back up, tackle the guy and start wrestling around.

I’m on top getting the better of the guy and all of a sudden ZAP!!! A cop who obviously didn’t know what was going on besides what he saw after I got up hit me with a tazer.

If you’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing a stun gun I don’t know how else to describe it besides filling a bathtub full of water and dropping in a toaster. Your whole body stiffens up, the pain is quick but sharp as a knife and you’re completely helpless for about 10 seconds.

The bouncers across the street eventually stepped in and explained what happened but I now have four stitches in my head, been stun gunned by a cop, my truck is still downtown and I told my girlfriend to fuck off and leave me alone because I was pissed off and bleeding because that little bitch couldn't take a cab.

That's not even including the hospital and legal bullshit.

My cell is off, the door is locked and I’m getting piss drunk all by myself. What a flucking night. I'm marrying a big fat ugly homely beast tommorow so I never have to go through this again.

I’m too freaking old for this shit.

did the other dicklick get tazored too? that freakin blows ass, sorry about your shitty night.

Man that sucks Otter, on the other hand it will make a great tale to tell at some future date while hanging with your buds.

All that and no sex? Your gf owes you.

I don't think so, we were both handcuffed when I woke up.

Sad part about is the only redeeming part of the story is that I didn't get KOed by the bottle. The rest is just me getting ass-raped by the whole situation.

I need to get married and settle down Jim. I'm freaking 32.

Whoa! You didn't mention this.

Now it is clear what happened. That was no cop.

You were tag-teamed by DenverChief and Anton. After rendering you unconscious, they drug you back to their ass-aultery lair and had their way with you. The handcuffs were a nice touch.

You can say that again!

Men say women "bank" things. You can bank this to use in the future. When she's naggin you about never going out, you can say, "Hey, remember what happened last time?"

Sorry about your night. It was good of you to drive the girl home. Some payment, huh?

If I had any brains like I did when I was in college I would have offered to walk that broad up to her place, pretended like I cared about what happened over a drink and bent her over the sink.

I'm losing my touch in old age.

Please don't make 32 sound so old.

See what happens when you doubt Trent Green? Chiefspride bottle-whipped you.

;)

Glad you're ok, Otter. Hope you and your gf work things out.

Look at the bright side. At least it wasn't a clown that tazered you!
Seriously..sorry about your night bro.
For the record I would tell the gf that if her and the snotbox don't double team you tomorrow night then it's over.

Damn that sucks, but don't make it worse by marrying a fat chick-nothing is worth that!! Halfcan

A definite donkey punch is in order for her regardless!

Hey, plus is she obviously knows her way around the kitchen and will be eager to please you. If the girl were hot, it would be the other way around.

I know 32 isn't old, I just feel really old right now. Like my life should be in a better position that this stuff wouldn't happen.

Hell I feel 21 with the exception of tonight.

Cody you bastard. :D

Hey, don't blame me. I didn't tell him where you were going to be tonight. ;)

Let me just remind you that after a night like that if you were married she would be there nagging your ass and telling you it was your fault right about now.:banghead:

Dude, shit happens. You could be married, with kids, and still get a bottle broken over your head. The situation you're in isn't so bad.

Just because you got a bottle broken over your head and tazered doesn't mean that you aren't where you should be in your life. So you're single and 32.....well, there's about 32 million people that age that are single. Not everyone gets married at 25, etc. Not everyone finds the right one at the same time or whatever. When it's right, it'll happen. :toast:

Or showing you what a good husband you are. Taking a beating like that for doing a good deed.

Wow. You just reminded me of me by saying that. :p

Well, great minds... ROFL

That should be scary.....for you. :)

No doubt. You could be GoChiefs. Or dead.

You'll find out one day, hopefully, that character is more important in a person than whether or not they live up to your beliefs of what is right and wrong.

I'd have a beer with DenverChief before you anyday.

Not too beat up too bag on GoatCheese, that's a good sign.

I'm way ahead of you. ;D

I'm going to break out the Jamison for a few shots and throw Dumb and Dumber in the DVD. Thanks for listening to me vent fellas.

Yeah, that's me. Just one of the guys. Have fun, and get to feeling better.

Otter, in the future you will laugh about this. I know not now, but you will later on. Talk to your gf about it, tell her that you're ticked and that if it weren't for her friend, this wouldn't have happened. I mean, if she just would've told the whole story instead of just reacting and wanting to leave, things probably would've worked out differently.

The gay may have done something to her, but she should've TOLD you guys what was up. You were being nice to not question anything or to not make her take a cab. Things will go over, she'll say she's sorry, then that is that. None of this is your fault or has anything to do with you being 32 and not married or nothing like that. There is no connection there. Like I mentioned, it's just another case of the daily "shit happens." You guys will work it out.

I always pictured you as being really young. Beyond 32?

Oh my God, you're old.

Sh*t she owes you a threesome!!!

DAMN, i feel your pain. Those things hurt, law enforcement versions more so than normal.

i take it the electric nipple clips are out?

What the hell? You're completely off base here.

Hey GoatShit, is it OK if I have a post where I want to vent about having a bottle broken over my head and getting tazed without you trying to make it about you?

F.uck off and get lost for this one you worthless peice of shit.

I don't care if you gay, not gay or whatever your story is, I had a tough night and want to vent a little.

GET LOST

not trying to start sh*t here.
and maybe im a litttle on this. But...
I didnt realize this until it was too late.
Once your married, it doesent matter if your shot, stabbed, and made to sleep in the same bed with a raider. Every night you get to go home to that little lady is the best damn day of your life. If you dont think of it that way then your a damed fool and probably shouldnt have gotten married in the first place.
and at least if she is nagging your ass she cares about WTH your doing, although yes it burns my ass while its happening.

at least it wasnt pepper spray.

Dude, life caught you being nice and took a piss on you. It sucks but I'll bet we've all been there.

However, karma's a bitch. I'd give her a helping hand by pressing charges, calling the prosecutor every day, showing up for this douche bag's trial, and then suing his ass in civil court to boot. Make his entire life suck in return for making your night suck. It's only fair, right?

PS, stitches in the head suck. Where exactly did they put them? I've had the forehead once, the chin three times, and recently my big toe after surgery. You get over them.

Oh, and take it from a 32 year old who's married with two kids. I was in no danger of being tazed or hit with a bottle tonight. I was cleaning puke out of sheets at 2:30am instead. And no, it wasn't mine.

And be glad it wasn't FOX pepper spray. :p

Stitches are right above my left temple and the pain is just starting to settle in now. I'm missing a clump of hair that they had to shave too.

:cuss:

And I plan on getting this guy prosecuted to the full extent. If there was something I did wrong I would settle it without the law. But I don’t even know what happened yet.

This whole thing just sucks. But in retrospect much worse things can happen in life.

I won't even ask for details on the puke. :D Thanks Simplex.

Grimm, seriously I am glad you still feel that way, but after 25 years I sure did not and was happier after she moved out. We never divorced but it has been 3 blissful years.

Hmmm, in the hairline. I hear that those suck, never had the pleasure myself. Of course those are sitting right on top of one of the muscles you chew with, too. I know I felt like someone was slicing my chin off when I'd eat after doing myself in.

On the plus side, the stitches and the cut aren't what are making you uncomfortable. Odds are it's the bruise. Don't spend too much time thinning your blood (drinking), it won't help the pain long term since the swelling and the brusing could be worse. Sleep, ice, and Tylenol are your best friends in moments like these. One word of warning, be careful taking off any bandages. You pull and snag a stitch you'll be sorry. It won't come out, it'll just piss you off.

I hope to find this one day, hopefully soon, but I must disagree on the raider comment.

Raider Fans and Chief Fans are incompatable from the begining.

unfortunatley, i found this out a little too late, hence the sig.

sorry to hear about that man....

i'd rather jump in a pool full of razor blades, than be hit by Saber Red or that stuff! Tazer hurt, but at least once the power is off it stops. i burned for 3 days after every time i took a shower.

yikes I'm glad I only have to go thru the taser "training"

I turned sigs on to see Grimm's but I must say I like yours DC

Thanks I had to turn my sigs off for work purposes I almost forgot what I had as a sig....damn when it rains it pours.....Sheriffs dept brought in one F/intoxicated, PD brought in one F/intoxicated and the State patrol is bringing in one M/intoxicated....this in the span of 10 min!!!

LOL, i totally feel your pain. total for tonight.
2 drunks= 1m/1f
1 crackhead= 1f
3 warrants= 2m/1f

currently holding 8 murderers, 5 child molesters,... ill just stop there.

sonofa.....we only have one murderer mostly druggies and sex offenders.....*sigh* more paperwork....sokay I knew I signed up for something :p

been quite here for a while. Got 1 on the way from PD. ill be ready to leave in 2 hours. had class all day and 12 hour shift after that. I'm beat. :BS:

yikes sorry to hear man...I'm outta here at 6 too :(

ROFL

I feel you're pain. I've been up since 4... :banghead:

Otter,

Bwana is gonna be pissed he missed all your fun. ROFL

Lucky you, had to get up at 12:45 am on saturdays for work , but I'm done and headed to bed. :ZZZ:

I gotta say, I'm impressed that you can get a bottle broken on your head and stay conscious. Bottles are a lot thicker these days. You're lucky you just ended up with stitches.

Your little friend is going away for several months for this stunt. Assault with a deadly weapon is no joke. He's the idiot in this situation - not you. Not your g/f. Not the other gal.

I hope you feel better when you awaken. Sounds like quite a night. Hang in there, Joe.

No offense Otter but the whole episode sound like something you'd see in an Adam Spandler or Billy Bob Thornton movie.

Hope it all works out.

I'm one of those people. I'm 34 and never been married although I do have a serious girlfriend. Not too sure about our future either. But, I am happy with my life...I've got a steady job, a nice house and car, a rent house, a great family, Sunday ticket, etc...whether I get married or not, I will be happy that I have those things and my health. Hang in there.

Hmmm? :hmmm: Sounds like an evening you will not soon forget. Crazy old hides, a beer bottle across the noggin and enough volts shot through your body by one of Harrisburgs finest to pop a nut out of your boxers...............not good, not good at all.

It sounds like the punk gave you a cheap shot and a half with the bottle. I'm all for a good old scrap face to face, man to man, but what he did was low test. It sounds like bottle boy is going to be for some hard times in the near future. He may not only crave soap on a rope after you're done, but may be buying you a nice new 4Runner. :)

See a lawyer. Isn't there a protocol for police to tazer someone? You were acting in self defense against an unsuspecting attack on your life (being hit with a bottle and threatened with the broken bottle). The police have no right to tazer someone acting in self defense.

I'm not making this up. In a cruel twist of fate, this was the advertisement at the top of Chiefsplanet when I got on again just now. :eek:

Stun Guns
Top Grade Stun Guns & Much More. 775,000 Volts - That'll Stop 'Em Taser Guns
Taser guns starting at just $399.95 Tasers and refills Ads by Goooooogle


If I were you Joe, I would go out and get some fly fishing in today. Don't do anything hasty like running out and tying the knot with the first ditchpig you meet. I waited until I was 38 until I got married. I wasn't going to get married for the hell of it. It had to be the right woman. Just go out there and pass along a shot of leg every now and then and get your fly fishing in until you find the right one.

What's the over/under on you getting married? I want the over....way over.

Now Skip, why in the world would you want that bet? I thought you weren't a betting man...
:shrug:

I'm usually not a gambler. But i don't consider this a gamble. Why aren't you golfng?

I was thinking the same thing. It's nice out there right now...but the course is always too crowded/full of hackers for my tastes on Saturdays and Sundays. I go back to work Friday, so I will probably play everyday this week. Plus, we were blessed with 2 back to back good days of rain..so the course is probably pretty soggy.

I guess you win the ChiefsPlanet SUCKS TO BE YOU award for the week. This puts a serious spin on the Nice-Guys-Finish-Last thing. :shake:

FWIW, I would have done the same thing (although I would have been pissed about it). And while I realize you're pissed at your girlfriend (again, I would be, too), this is nobody's fault but the pussy who back-attacked you with a beer bottle.

You should definitely press charges against that gutless turd and sue him for the cost of medical expenses.

Rain? What's that? It hasn't rained here in so long we've got 2 year old bullfrogs that don't know how to swim.

I know. We needed it pretty bad. Everything is so much greener outside. The rough on the golf course had become serious "hard pan".

Yeah dude see a lawyer....You're a tough guy but their are punks who would be suing for 1 million dollargs for getting tazered like that. If nothing else find out who the cops were that did it and find out where they live and go wrap their house with toilet paper or shit on their front porch or something.

If all else fails remember the words of another Otter...

"I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.

hell, by 32 i'd been divorced twice and married again for the third time...

i got married the last time at 31, so otter is not so bad off...

The bouncers stepped in after you got tazered? Shouldn't they have stepped in after the a$$hole decided to use your head as a bottle opener?

How disappointed will Otter be this morning when he awakens to find that the Cop gave him an Atomic Koncho?

that sucks....Its sounds like you took the bottle whack like a champ, and the fact taht you went back after that tool had to leave an impression.

As much as it sucks now.......You'll enjoy telling that story in a year.

I agree....Your broad and or her girlfriend...owe you something "extra".

i would definitely seek out the advice of a competent personal injury attorney. Press charges against the cops, and the guy who broke the bottle over your head, as well as sue both parties in civil court.

I agree with Iowanian...I think she needs to give you some "sexual healing"

Milk it my friend.

See, that's what I don't get. They should have hosed em down with the pepper spray to begin with. The tazer should have been deployed if the spray didn't work. The cop probably didn't want to deal with the pepper smell. :)
No really Otter, That sucks. Hope your head feels better today. :thumb:

You're such an arse. :p

Similar deal happened to me. Mine was "can you take my friend home-I will make it up to you promise." Ended up getting pulled over for dwi. Never heard from either of the ho's again. Never help out your chicks friend-it never works out. Make nice if it is early in the relationship-after that look out. If the friend is single they are probably jealous of your girlfriend and will try and break you up so look out. Ringo