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QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 03:24 AM
I think i need some advice
 
.

Hammock Parties 01-03-2006 03:28 AM
Join the armed forces.

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 03:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
Join the armed forces.
death is higher on the list than joining any branch of the military.

cdcox 01-03-2006 03:38 AM
I would stop the drugs today. You can't afford them and you are not at a point in you life where you can deal with functioning on half a brain.

I'd go somewhere where I could land on my feet, build a financial base to do what I really wanted, and sort through things. That sounds like your grand parents' place. Earn and save money. Decide what you want to do.

From your description, you sound like you are at a turning point in your life. Things can either get better from here or much worse. It will depend on your decisions and actions, more than anything else.

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 03:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdcox
I would stop the drugs today. You can't afford them and you are not at a point in you life where you can deal with functioning on half a brain.

I'd go somewhere where I could land on my feet, build a financial base to do what I really wanted, and sort through things. That sounds like your grand parents' place. Earn and save money. Decide what you want to do.

From your description, you sound like you are at a turning point in your life. Things can either get better from here or much worse. It will depend on your decisions and actions, more than anything else.
I think that would be the best choice. It just seems that I would be miserable living there. It would be better financial situation. However, I do need to cut back on the drugs. Even more so than I already have.

cdcox 01-03-2006 03:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSsurfer
I think that would be the best choice. It just seems that I would be miserable living there. It would be better financial situation. However, I do need to cut back on the drugs. Even more so than I already have.
If it is miserable that should give you plenty of motivation to save $ and decide what it is you'd rather be doing. I think finding a purpose for your life is the key. Then you can set goals and start working toward them. In the mean time, start focusing on short term goals such as saving enough money for a car and to move out from your GP, since these things need to happen no matter what.

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 03:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdcox
If it is miserable that should give you plenty of motivation to save $ and decide what it is you'd rather be doing. I think finding a purpose for your life is the key. Then you can set goals and start working toward them. In the mean time, start focusing on short term goals such as saving enough money for a car and to move out from your GP, since these things need to happen no matter what.
You are absolutely right.
Another option that wasn't mentioned above: My sister and brother-in-law live in Kansas City, KS and would more than likely give me a place to stay for a few months for me to get on my feet. What's the job market like there in KS? My sister lives in the Johnson county area.

Taco John 01-03-2006 03:55 AM
The answer is right in front of your face, yet you refuse to do it because you're too open minded.

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 04:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taco John
The answer is right in front of your face, yet you refuse to do it because you're too open minded.
I hope you're not talking about faith.

Ultra Peanut 01-03-2006 04:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taco John
The answer is right in front of your face, yet you refuse to do it because you're too open minded.
ROFL

Quote:
I hope you're not talking about faith.
I think the point is that living with your grandparents for a while may suck, but is probably the best option you've got, despite their alleged penchant for proselytizing.

Life can truly, deeply suck. I'm the last person that should tell anyone what they should do, so all I can really do is ask, "Why the hell would you want to live in Oxfart?" ;)

On the bright side, it could be worse... say, the only thing you've ever really wanted in your entire life being completely, utterly impossible, and casting a cloud over every waking moment you ever experience. That's no fun.

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 04:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Psicosis
ROFL

I think the point is that living with your grandparents for a while may suck, but is probably the best option you've got, despite their alleged penchant for proselytizing.

Life can truly, deeply suck. I'm the last person that should tell anyone what they should do, so all I can really do is ask, "Why the hell would you want to live in Oxfart?" ;)

On the bright side, it could be worse... say, the only thing you've ever really wanted in your entire life being completely, utterly impossible. That's no fun.
Oxford is where I found myself. It was the first place for me to live after moving out of Madison. I love Oxford and feel comfortable here. More comfortable than I have ever been.
Happiness is at a cost and i'm definitely paying for it.

huskerdooz 01-03-2006 06:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSsurfer
Oxford is where I found myself. It was the first place for me to live after moving out of Madison. I love Oxford and feel comfortable here. More comfortable than I have ever been.
Happiness is at a cost and i'm definitely paying for it.
In other words, Oxford is the place where you could be irresposible, flunk out of school, and blow all your money on drugs. Sounds to me like Oxford is just comfortable enough for you to wind up dead.

Your 23 and from your description, you've never decided to take responsibility for your life. You need to grow up and start taking responsibility for your actions. Like cdcox stated you can turn your life around now or let it slide off into the abyss of drugs and alcohol, it's your choice.

That being said, I don't think you're really ready to turn your life around yet. Otherwise you wouldn't be looking for easier solutions like living with your sister for a short time. What makes you think that it will be any different living with her. You will probably just spend your time and money looking for new sources for your drug habit. You say you are a recovering cocaine addict. Did you go into rehab to kick your habit? Since when does rehab advocate abstaining from one drug but allow the use of another. It sounds to me the only reason you had to give up cocaine was because you couldn't afford it. That happens when mom cuts off the financial spigot doesn't it. You complain that you have no way to commute across town, is there no form of public transportation in Oxford? You also complain that you don't have the money to take the A+ certification exam, yet you claim that you are still smoking too much ganja. IIRCC ganja isn't cheap. Here's an idea, try saving some of that money to pay for the exam.

Just as TJ indicated, the solution is right there but you're too stubborn and immature to see it. Your Grandparents are obviously offering you a place and an oppurtunity to get back on your feet. You don't want to blow this oppurtunity that they are offering by continuing to blow all your money on the very lifestyle that got you into this mess in the first place. If you actually got clean from the drugs you might actually discover that college could actually be for you as well. For that to happen you might need to get away from Oxford so that you can make a clean break from the very lifestyle that got you into trouble in the first place.

You can't go through life living out "Animal House". It's fun for awhile but eventually you need to take responsibility for your life and actually make something of yourself.

I'm sure this will come off as a bit preachy but I have very little sympathy for someone that continually wants to blame others for there misery and misfortune instead of taking responsibility for there own life.

jspchief 01-03-2006 07:07 AM
It's time to stop smoking pot. That crap is for kids and adult losers.

teedubya 01-03-2006 07:14 AM
You are 23 years old, and have a several opportunities... while it may look bleak right now, it is all working according to plan. Years from now, you will be able to look back on this trying time in your life and see how it positively affected your path.

Around this age, I had a slice of humble pie, and had no car, no job, and had to move in with family. It sucked, but it motivated me to get back on top.

Drop the nose candy, that shit isnt healthy... I cant with a good conscience tell you to drop the herbals, because I partake occassionally myself. let me offer this tidbit...

Moderation is key... things like that make a good icing on the cake of life, just dont let the drugs become the cake.

Get yourself in a new set of surroundings... chances are, if you dont, you might find yourself in the same boat the Maurice Clarett is in...

Love yourself, and make every attempt to be happy with whatever decisions you make... you are NOT your past decisions... you are NOW HERE for a reason, and you are in a critical fork in the road of life... be happy with it, and move in the right direction. This is a valuable opportunity to get a grip on who you are, and who you want to become.

And always remember, not to place blame on anyone, but take responsibility for everything. It is all working according to plan... your life right now, is the result of your past actions... you want a different future, take responsibility and move in the direction you feel is best for you.

And be happy with yourself, and your decisions.

:-)

Hog's Gone Fishin 01-03-2006 07:33 AM
Knock Knock

Who's there ?

Oppurtunity.

Opportunity who?

Why in the hell are you asking when I'm knocking on your door. Open the damn door!!

plbrdude 01-03-2006 07:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by huskerdooz
In other words, Oxford is the place where you could be irresposible, flunk out of school, and blow all your money on drugs. Sounds to me like Oxford is just comfortable enough for you to wind up dead.

Your 23 and from your description, you've never decided to take responsibility for your life. You need to grow up and start taking responsibility for your actions. Like cdcox stated you can turn your life around now or let it slide off into the abyss of drugs and alcohol, it's your choice.

That being said, I don't think you're really ready to turn your life around yet. Otherwise you wouldn't be looking for easier solutions like living with your sister for a short time. What makes you think that it will be any different living with her. You will probably just spend your time and money looking for new sources for your drug habit. You say you are a recovering cocaine addict. Did you go into rehab to kick your habit? Since when does rehab advocate abstaining from one drug but allow the use of another. It sounds to me the only reason you had to give up cocaine was because you couldn't afford it. That happens when mom cuts off the financial spigot doesn't it. You complain that you have no way to commute across town, is there no form of public transportation in Oxford? You also complain that you don't have the money to take the A+ certification exam, yet you claim that you are still smoking too much ganja. IIRCC ganja isn't cheap. Here's an idea, try saving some of that money to pay for the exam.

Just as TJ indicated, the solution is right there but you're too stubborn and immature to see it. Your Grandparents are obviously offering you a place and an oppurtunity to get back on your feet. You don't want to blow this oppurtunity that they are offering by continuing to blow all your money on the very lifestyle that got you into this mess in the first place. If you actually got clean from the drugs you might actually discover that college could actually be for you as well. For that to happen you might need to get away from Oxford so that you can make a clean break from the very lifestyle that got you into trouble in the first place.

You can't go through life living out "Animal House". It's fun for awhile but eventually you need to take responsibility for your life and actually make something of yourself.

I'm sure this will come off as a bit preachy but I have very little sympathy for someone that continually wants to blame others for there misery and misfortune instead of taking responsibility for there own life.

read that post again. you have recieved sound advice from a wise man there. you say you're to open minded for faith, but my guess is you're afraid of what you'll find. coming from a former meth addict, alcoholic, and weed smoker, i can tell you this. with the Lord you won't have to go through life a recovering addict. you will be a delivered addict. you also will find oppurtunities opening up for you that never seemed possible. before. it has to start with you. nothing is more pathetic than an alcoholic or addict blaming their addiction on their circumstances. Their circumstances are a result of their addiction.

jspchief 01-03-2006 07:36 AM
You don't need the lord to quit drugs. It's just another crutch.

DeepSouth 01-03-2006 07:42 AM
You're from Mississippi. Blame it on the In-Breeding.

chagrin 01-03-2006 07:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSsurfer
I could manage to live with them but it would be very, very hard. My grandparents are very firm believers in the "word of god". I'm a little more open minded, you could say :)

Dude, obviously you're not very open minded if you can't accept them for who they are and what they believe in. You'd be accepting help from people who love you, you should say thank you and take it, while you have the opportunity. But we don't need to get into that.

I am a recovering drug addict, I blew a few hundred thousand dollars and alientated my wife, and she left me - and lost 2 homes and a car. I was homeless and had nobody to offer such help. Before you start thinking I'm some old fuck who is not in touch, I am only 36, this all came to a head when I was 34. I had a great career and everything I needed.

Here's the thing though, you will quit doing drugs when you hit rock bottom, if it truly is a problem. Everybody's "rock bottom" is different, for me - I was stubborn, I had to lose EVERYTHING to realize what I was doingt o myself.

I packed up my remaining vehicle and drove to Florida (from Michigan) and when I got here my only relative that speaks to me, my brother, wouldn't even let me in his house. I had never lied to him or stolen from him (I didn't resort to that sort of crime, only doing the blow and drinking, I had the money so I didn't need to steal). Anyway, after that I drove to a bridge and was about to drive myaself off of it into the ocean, when something inside told me not to. I chickened out and drove to a local church instead.

You don't have to be saved by Jesus to get clean dude, but you need to help yourself.

Website soberrecovery.com is a decent place to chat with like minded folks.

No offense intended but you should really think twice about saying no to your grandparents. You were stating that one half of your family disowned you, don't wait until all of them have, get off your ass and do something about it.

I will think positive thoughts for you my friend.

Good luck.

MIAdragon 01-03-2006 07:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
Join the armed forces.
I agree 100%, this may be your best option. It would give you just about all you need to get past what you are going through and so much more. Why would you turn down a chance to get clean, earn a DECENT living ( the pay in the military is a lot better than most think ) further hone your computer skills, get some direction and most of all discipline. All of your problems are solved. Is it the easy way out? No. Is it going to suck sometimes? Hell yes. Will you be a better man for it, Id bet money on it. Good luck what ever you do.

Ultra Peanut 01-03-2006 08:01 AM
Of course, anyone advising you that the military may be your best bet should also add that there's a chance you could be shipped off and be placed into a situation where you may get your ass shot off or blown up or whatever awful things can happen in nasty places that military personnel are sometimes sent to.

Discipline isn't going to help you do better in life if you end up in a body bag, and as such, people should look at joining the military because it's something they feel strongly compelled to do, not simply because they just need some direction in their lives. Due to the potential consequences and commitments, it's something of a big decision.

Skip Towne 01-03-2006 08:07 AM
Iowanian should be along directly. He'll set you straight.

badgirl 01-03-2006 08:18 AM
Drugs is not the answer, all they do is cover up the pain and issues you need to deal with temperarly, and trust me I know the feeling, if you can possible get off the drugs it starts to clear your thinking and allows you to better deal with life and physically you feel so much better. When I have done drugs or drink to cover my pain I always said, "its the only time I feel like normal people probably feel when I'm high".

Personally I don't think you will have a good relationship with anyone in your life and really, clearly see what you need to do for yourself until you get free from all drugs, I do congratulate you on your stopping using cocaine. For years it has been one drug or another to cover up everything in my life I should deal with, cause after all those years my problems are still here, only WORSE.

I wish you the best,and hope you make the right decision.

Matt Helm 01-03-2006 08:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
Join the armed forces.
That is an option that may not be open for him. To join the military you will be drug tested often, especially if you have a past of using drugs. Should the military be the direction he goes he needs to be 100% upfront with them before he goes in, that in itself could keep him out, but at least if he got past that point he would be a known commodity.

One poster commented about being shipped off to a place that he could wind up in a body bag. That is true, choose the service you want to be wisely, some have a lower percentage of personnel in the war zones and the exposure alot less than that of the Army or Marines. However, the Marines would be the best bet for a complete controlled atmosphere, there would be brothers that would help you at every turn.

Katipan 01-03-2006 08:37 AM
Drugs rock.

If you're happy and healthy and settled and stable.

God rocks too.

Worshipping God on drugs is the best.

badgirl 01-03-2006 08:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mer
Drugs rock.

If you're happy and healthy and settled and stable.

God rocks too.

Worshipping God on drugs is the best.
:spock:

I beleive the point of his thread is that he isn't happy or settled or stable, I don't know about the healthy part, he didn't mention that I don't beleive. :)

Katipan 01-03-2006 08:42 AM
They emphasize whatever you're feeling in life dearie.

I hardly think everyone should walk around in a stupor, but I'm also not the girl that drinks to feel normal.

RedDread 01-03-2006 08:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by r8er_h8er
That is an option that may not be open for him. To join the military you will be drug tested often, especially if you have a past of using drugs. Should the military be the direction he goes he needs to be 100% upfront with them before he goes in, that in itself could keep him out, but at least if he got past that point he would be a known commodity.

One poster commented about being shipped off to a place that he could wind up in a body bag. That is true, choose the service you want to be wisely, some have a lower percentage of personnel in the war zones and the exposure alot less than that of the Army or Marines. However, the Marines would be the best bet for a complete controlled atmosphere, there would be brothers that would help you at every turn.
Cold Turkey + Completely Controlled Environment


and after that possibly Combat Zone + PTSD

If you're looking for a life-changing event then that would be it. It sounds like you're going to be eating some crow no matter who you turn to, and this is going to require a lot of effort. Honestly, even with all that going against you I'd walk into a recruiters office and go to MEPS 30 days after you stop doing drugs. By then it will be out of your system and if you are really serious about turning your life around, the military is your best chance.

F what ya heard, just pick a Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) that will keep you away from front line combat and you will be set for the next 3-20 years.

badgirl 01-03-2006 08:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mer
They emphasize whatever you're feeling in life dearie.

I hardly think everyone should walk around in a stupor, but I'm also not the girl that drinks to feel normal.
OH drinking takes a totally different affect on me than drugs, drugs I feel good on, but drinking can be either really fun for me or I could get really mean, I don't care for drinking, but I guess its the company you choose to drink with on how the night is gonna turn out. My last stupor turned out to be a pretty good time.

Iowanian 01-03-2006 08:46 AM
It sounds like ALL of your problems are self inflicted.
No sympathy here.

Lets work this out. You're an unmotivated drug addict, and you wonder why it might be possibly difficult to find gainful employment? You've been to college, for 5 YEARS!!! and now "college isn't for you". your mother is a "bad mother" but was paying for your car. Your grandparents aren't good enough to help you because they're people of faith.

Stop making excuses. Get your ass into rehab, finish the degree to go with that debt that someone has assumed for your 5 years of college and stop blaming your problems on your family.

Joining the military isn't even an option for a smackhead. All drug addicts have are excuses.

Unless you get off your ass and do somethign to improve your situation, enjoy your life as a construction laborer or welfare recipient. You're a loser by choice right now. Its one YOU can correct.

badgirl 01-03-2006 08:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
It sounds like ALL of your problems are self inflicted.
No sympathy here.

Lets work this out. You're an unmotivated drug addict, and you wonder why it might be possibly difficult to find gainful employment? You've been to college, for 5 YEARS!!! and now "college isn't for you".

Stop making excuses. Get your ass into rehab, finish the degree to go with that debt that someone has assumed for your 5 years of college and stop blaming your problems on your family.

Joining the military isn't even an option for a smackhead.

Unless you get off your ass and do somethign to improve your situation, enjoy your life as a construction laborer or welfare recipient.
I agree with you.

God I can't believe I just said that :shake:

Dartgod 01-03-2006 08:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedDread
F what ya heard, just pick a Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) that will keep you away from front line combat and you will be set for the next 3-20 years.
Plus, you get all that pie.

RedDread 01-03-2006 08:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dartggod
Plus, you get all that pie.
I didn't get any pie :(

StcChief 01-03-2006 08:59 AM
You must get off the drugs. Most jobs no days require a drug test.....

The A+ cert will get you started in a decent paying area of IT, though the bottom of the IT heirarchy rung. at 23 its a start.

If you like computer work, you can move up and the jobs are always around. Go live with your Grandparents and get your life turned around.

Get out of Oxford and the bad elements that your hanging out with doing drugs.

Don't come to KC with jobs skills and something on a resume. Or it's low end work.

Good luck

Iowanian 01-03-2006 09:01 AM
..but...but...but I'm having fuuuuuuuuun in Oxford....sniffing glue, smoking dope and paying video games with mah loser friends all day.

All my asshole family ever does is bitch at me, take my car, offer me a place to live, but they go to church and expect me to do something to pull mah own weight. I mean, after I get done meeting Big Earl to get a hook up, I'm not even going to have any mooooonaaaay.

Call the whambulance.

I'm sure there are plenty of siding or roofing crews who will take on a meth head.

"but I'm not a meth head".


Yet.

Bwana 01-03-2006 09:02 AM
When faced with a challenge, look for a way, not a way out. Life is full of choices, it sounds like you have been making the wrong ones. There is only one person that can who can change that. If you keep making the same choices, you will continue to get the same results. If you want to accomplish anything in life, you can't just sit back and hope it will happen. You've got to make it happen.

badgirl 01-03-2006 09:05 AM
I feel its ok if you get rid of your drug problem to let your family "help you" use it only as a stepping stone to getting your life together, don't use it as a crutch.

sedated 01-03-2006 09:10 AM
You are the combination of the 5 people you are closest to.

Get some new peers, moving back in with the family doesn't sound like a bad option, unless they are truly abusive "bad parents". Then do the grandparent thing.

If your friends and situation are ruining your life, you need to regroup, start over

RedDread 01-03-2006 09:11 AM
This is a very bad topic to start and leave unattended......

Herzig 01-03-2006 09:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
It sounds like ALL of your problems are self inflicted.
No sympathy here.

Lets work this out. You're an unmotivated drug addict, and you wonder why it might be possibly difficult to find gainful employment? You've been to college, for 5 YEARS!!! and now "college isn't for you". your mother is a "bad mother" but was paying for your car. Your grandparents aren't good enough to help you because they're people of faith.

Stop making excuses. Get your ass into rehab, finish the degree to go with that debt that someone has assumed for your 5 years of college and stop blaming your problems on your family.

Joining the military isn't even an option for a smackhead. All drug addicts have are excuses.

Unless you get off your ass and do somethign to improve your situation, enjoy your life as a construction laborer or welfare recipient. You're a loser by choice right now. Its one YOU can correct.
One the best replies on this thread. Haven't you done enough damage to your mind, body, and future already? You have people that will help you/have helped you. That's more than 50% of the population out there. You are lucky that your Grandparents are willing to take you in. You are the result of your decisions and choices. Change and alter your path before it's too late. Good luck.

Herzig 01-03-2006 09:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by r8er_h8er
One poster commented about being shipped off to a place that he could wind up in a body bag. That is true, choose the service you want to be wisely, some have a lower percentage of personnel in the war zones and the exposure alot less than that of the Army or Marines. However, the Marines would be the best bet for a complete controlled atmosphere, there would be brothers that would help you at every turn.
I read an article on yahoo the other day about more Air Force and Navy guys being deployed on the ground in Iraq to help our exausted Army and Marine guys.

Skip Towne 01-03-2006 09:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herzig
One the best replies on this thread. Haven't you done enough damage to your mind, body, and future already? You have people that will help you/have helped you. That's more than 50% of the population out there. You are lucky that your Grandparents are willing to take you in. You are the result of your decisions and choices. Change and alter your path before it's too late. Good luck.
What are you doing posting in the middle of the day like this? Haven't you found a job yet?

Herzig 01-03-2006 09:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skip Towne
What are you doing posting in the middle of the day like this? Haven't you found a job yet?
I have one more day of vacation until I go back to war on ignorance.

badgirl 01-03-2006 09:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herzig
I have one more day of vacation until I go back to war on ignorance.
You definately have job security :)

Skip Towne 01-03-2006 09:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herzig
I have one more day of vacation until I go back to war on ignorance.
Last time I checked, ignorance was winning.

Rain Man 01-03-2006 09:40 AM
It's probably been said at some point, but ... you don't have money for a car so you can keep your job, yet you have money to waste on marijuana and drugs?

Step 1. Stop wasting money on drugs, which do nothing productive, and use that saved money to get a car. You've just solved three problems in one step: keep your job, get a car, stop using drugs.

Good luck to you.

Herzig 01-03-2006 09:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skip Towne
Last time I checked, ignorance was winning.
Yeah, it gets pretty frustrating at times.

badgirl 01-03-2006 09:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man
It's probably been said at some point, but ... you don't have money for a car so you can keep your job, yet you have money to waste on marijuana and drugs?

Step 1. Stop wasting money on drugs, which do nothing productive, and use that saved money to get a car. You've just solved three problems in one step: keep your job, get a car, stop using drugs.

Good luck to you.
OOOORRRR, just drop out of school, quit your job, stop doing drugs and start selling them, then you don't have to be a professional student, won't need to work, can buy you a car, you will have quit drugs, and can tell your mother where you know you'd love to have told her years ago.

Wow thats too many things solved for you right there.
:p

patteeu 01-03-2006 09:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Psicosis
Of course, anyone advising you that the military may be your best bet should also add that there's a chance you could be shipped off and be placed into a situation where you may get your ass shot off or blown up or whatever awful things can happen in nasty places that military personnel are sometimes sent to.

Discipline isn't going to help you do better in life if you end up in a body bag, and as such, people should look at joining the military because it's something they feel strongly compelled to do, not simply because they just need some direction in their lives. Due to the potential consequences and commitments, it's something of a big decision.
The dude's killing himself now. He doesn't have enough self-discipline to save himself through half-measures (e.g. smoking dope in moderation instead of in excess). While he admits to making all kinds of bad choices, he still seems to put most of the blame on others (e.g. bad childhood memories, people disowning him, etc.). He needs to make some seriously good choices now or he might as well just jump off a bridge to get it over with faster. One of those choices needs to be to remove himself from his current circle of friends.

Joining the military has it's risks, but it isn't nearly as risky as the course he's on now.

QickSsurfer, you should seriously consider joining the military if you want to change your life for the better.

greg63 01-03-2006 09:51 AM
Take the grandparents up on their offer to get you back on your feet. You can pay them back when you are financially, physically and emotionally stable. Not trying to be brash; just giving you what you ask for: MHO. Start the New Year out on a positive note, and have a good one.

Herzig 01-03-2006 09:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by badgirl
OOOORRRR, just drop out of school, quit your job, stop doing drugs and start selling them, then you don't have to be a professional student, won't need to work, can buy you a car, you will have quit drugs, and can tell your mother where you know you'd love to have told her years ago.

Wow thats too many things solved for you right there.
:p
He's lucky he's not serving time in prison taking it in the butt already...that's a quick way to end up there. Being locked up in a cage like an animal getting used as man-toy is not my idea of life. ROFL

ChiTown 01-03-2006 09:52 AM
Tough love here.........
 
Stop crying and start working.

Work to get clean from drugs.

Work to make your relationship better with your family.

Work to be a more productive human being.

Work to get the hours you need to finish up your degree. It can only help you going forward.

Work to get a better group of friends that don't aspire to just get high and have a good time.

Work to have goals and aspirations, and work to make them happen.

Work to find a way out of your hole, and stop blaming everyone else, and every event that has taken place in your life. YOU CONTROL YOUR OWN LIFE!

Bottom line:
Stop the crying and start working. Lazy, unmotivated losers make excuses and look for luck. People who work hard make their own luck and mostly get rewarded. So get your ass in gear and stop looking for the next excuse.

All The Best to You!

badgirl 01-03-2006 10:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herzig
He's lucky he's not serving time in prison taking it in the butt already...that's a quick way to end up there. Being locked up in a cage like an animal getting used as man-toy is not my idea of life. ROFL
If he's stupid enough to take my advice, he'd deserve one up the butt. ROFL

greg63 01-03-2006 10:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTown
Stop crying and start working.

Work to get clean from drugs.

Work to make your relationship better with your family.

Work to be a more productive human being.

Work to get the hours you need to finish up your degree. It can only help you going forward.

Work to get a better group of friends that don't aspire to just get high and have a good time.

Work to have goals and aspirations, and work to make them happen.

Work to find a way out of your hole, and stop blaming everyone else, and every event that has taken place in your life. YOU CONTROL YOUR OWN LIFE!

Bottom line:
Stop the crying and start working. Lazy, unmotivated losers make excuses and look for luck. People who work hard make their own luck and mostly get rewarded. So get your ass in gear and stop looking for the next excuse.

GOOD LUCK!
:clap::clap::clap::clap:

In other words do some "growing up". Great post!

Skip Towne 01-03-2006 10:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herzig
He's lucky he's not serving time in prison taking it in the butt already...that's a quick way to end up there. Being locked up in a cage like an animal getting used as man-toy is not my idea of life. ROFL
Especially if you still have your boyish charm.

Saulbadguy 01-03-2006 10:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man
It's probably been said at some point, but ... you don't have money for a car so you can keep your job, yet you have money to waste on marijuana and drugs?

Step 1. Stop wasting money on drugs, which do nothing productive, and use that saved money to get a car. You've just solved three problems in one step: keep your job, get a car, stop using drugs.

Good luck to you.
Step 2. Steal bikes. Lots of bikes.
Step 3.
Step 4. Profit!

chagrin 01-03-2006 10:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by badgirl
If he's stupid enough to take my advice, he'd deserve one up the butt. ROFL

Well, if you gave the advice, does that mean you're...into it???? Quick! Call rednfeisty!

:p

Saul Good 01-03-2006 10:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSsurfer
Please do not read this and make some witty/asshole comment because... i'm seriously concerned here. I know that there are a lot of elders ;) on this board and I honestly need some advice.. In a nutshell:

I am a recent 5th year senior drop out at Ole Miss (The University of Mississippi). All I have to show for a education right now is a minor in biology and a near BA in liberal arts (psychology). I have no future plans to go back to school. College is for some people - not me.
My family is a total wreck. It has been that way for as long as I can remember. My mother is a bad mother by all standards. Take my word for it. My mother and father both can be viewed as a mirror of misery.
Okay so I'm a, nearly, 23 year old recovering cocaine addict. Boom!! now that that's out :( My family (mother's side; the one that matters) "officially" disowned me this xmas holiday. My mother came up from Jackson, MS a few days before xmas and took my car. She was paying for it anyway. I can't even begin to think about what's going on in my life right now. One thing is for sure, I smoke way too much ganja :) It is used for a "no feeling" feeling. I'm sure a few of you know what i'm talking about. Well this feeling is 100% necessary for me to live a pretty happy life. At any rate, I'm out of school and just gave my two weeks notice to my job. I was a computer repair technician, not A+ certified (i would take and pass the test if i had the money to take the blasted thing!). I had to quit because their office is moving across town and there is no possible way for me to communte to and from.
Job opportunity?? In my home town - Madison, MS?? I need this job working for Apple in Madison. Problem is, there are a lot of horrific events that had taken place in my childhood, in Madison. Every time that I'm around my mother or even in that town I am flooded with these bad memories. I cannot live there.
My grandparents live about 20 minutes from Madison and offer me a place to stay and transportation. I could manage to live with them but it would be very, very hard. My grandparents are very firm believers in the "word of god". I'm a little more open minded, you could say :)
I want to stay in Oxford but simply cannot afford to live on my own right now. A lot of bad decisions that I've made in the past are really catching up to me, financially. Oxford is a better fit for me emotionally but ****ing Madison could help solve my financial and drug issues... maybe.. i don't know. What do you guys think? Despite the lack of details that you would probably need in order to understand my situation a bit more, what would you do if you were me?
I don't know why you're bothering to ask for advice. My bet is you've gotten plenty of good advice in the past, but you haven't bothered to follow it just as you haven't bothered to respond to many of the responses on this thread.
So far I've gathered this much from your posts.
1. College isn't for you
2. Religion isn't for you
3. The military isn't for you
4. You're a drug addict living in a college town
5. You're blaming others for your situation

Please don't move to KC. We've got enough people like you sleeping on our streets and begging for money.

Now here's some advice put into a dumbed-down analogy. There was a Seinfeld episode where George realizes that he's a very poor decision maker so he decides to do the opposite of what he thinks he should do. (Winds up telling a girl he's unemployed and lives with his parents instead of trying to impress her, etc.) As a result, things go well for him. I think it's safe to say that your decision-making ability is piss poor. You should do what George did and reverse your decisions. Your life would look like this:

1. College graduate
2. Devoted man of faith
3. Military supporter/officer
4. Clean and sober life in a grown-up town
5. Accountable for your own actions

Now THAT is a person I would welcome into my community.

badgirl 01-03-2006 10:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by chagrin
Well, if you gave the advice, does that mean you're...into it???? Quick! Call rednfeisty!

:p
I plead the 5th :)

If I didn't this thread would take on a whole new twist and this guy would be on drugs the rest of his life cause of all us horney, sex craved maniacs. :drool:

ChiefsFan4Life 01-03-2006 10:36 AM
Instead of replying to the thread I think he's too busy sniffing the cocaine hiding under the keys

|Zach| 01-03-2006 10:37 AM
Best of luck...lots of good advice here.

badgirl 01-03-2006 10:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiefsFan4Life
Instead of replying to the thread I think he's too busy sniffing the cocaine hiding under the keys
ROFL or maybe he wrote it during his tweaking phase and got busy doing 100 other things at the same time and forgot about the thread. :hmmm:

chagrin 01-03-2006 10:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiefsFan4Life
Instead of replying to the thread I think he's too busy sniffing the cocaine hiding under the keys

Or he's "cluckin" under the table

Herzig 01-03-2006 10:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiefsFan4Life
Instead of replying to the thread I think he's too busy sniffing the cocaine hiding under the keys
He posted this thread at 3:24 am...he's probably asleep.

ChiefsFan4Life 01-03-2006 10:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herzig
He posted this thread at 3:24 am...he's probably passed out drunk and blaming the people who told him not to drink.
Fixed your post for you.

badgirl 01-03-2006 10:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herzig
He posted this thread at 3:24 am...he's probably asleep.
He probably run out to buy him some and forgot he was there, maybe he will show up for his party a little later today. :rolleyes:

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 11:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ali Chi3fs
You are 23 years old, and have a several opportunities... while it may look bleak right now, it is all working according to plan. Years from now, you will be able to look back on this trying time in your life and see how it positively affected your path.

Around this age, I had a slice of humble pie, and had no car, no job, and had to move in with family. It sucked, but it motivated me to get back on top.

Drop the nose candy, that shit isnt healthy... I cant with a good conscience tell you to drop the herbals, because I partake occassionally myself. let me offer this tidbit...

Moderation is key... things like that make a good icing on the cake of life, just dont let the drugs become the cake.

Get yourself in a new set of surroundings... chances are, if you dont, you might find yourself in the same boat the Maurice Clarett is in...

Love yourself, and make every attempt to be happy with whatever decisions you make... you are NOT your past decisions... you are NOW HERE for a reason, and you are in a critical fork in the road of life... be happy with it, and move in the right direction. This is a valuable opportunity to get a grip on who you are, and who you want to become.

And always remember, not to place blame on anyone, but take responsibility for everything. It is all working according to plan... your life right now, is the result of your past actions... you want a different future, take responsibility and move in the direction you feel is best for you.

And be happy with yourself, and your decisions.

:-)

great reply. i don't think i'll ever be able to stop smoking FOR GOOD but I think I have taken care of the snowflake issue. Thank you again for the post. I think you may have triggered something.

Saul Good 01-03-2006 11:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSsurfer
great reply. i don't think i'll ever be able to stop smoking FOR GOOD but I think I have taken care of the snowflake issue. Thank you again for the post. I think you may have triggered something.
Sorry man, but the "moderation" thing doesn't work with addicts. Plus drug tests only have 2 results, positive or negative. There is no "only in moderation" result.

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 11:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Psicosis
Of course, anyone advising you that the military may be your best bet should also add that there's a chance you could be shipped off and be placed into a situation where you may get your ass shot off or blown up or whatever awful things can happen in nasty places that military personnel are sometimes sent to.

Discipline isn't going to help you do better in life if you end up in a body bag, and as such, people should look at joining the military because it's something they feel strongly compelled to do, not simply because they just need some direction in their lives. Due to the potential consequences and commitments, it's something of a big decision.
rep

Saul Good 01-03-2006 11:41 AM
You're repping someone for giving you an excuse to not make something of yourself. You might as well rep someone for bashing Christianity also, thus giving you an excuse not to live with your grandparents. Let me give you some more excuses that aren't worth a damn.
You could get in a car crash and die on your way to class. College just isn't worth it.
You could work somewhere with asbestos. Employment just isn't worth it.
I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. I might as well get drunk and high in the meantime.

chagrin 01-03-2006 11:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saul Good
You're repping someone for giving you an excuse to not make something of yourself. You might as well rep someone for bashing Christianity also, thus giving you an excuse not to live with your grandparents. Let me give you some more excuses that aren't worth a damn.
You could get in a car crash and die on your way to class. College just isn't worth it.
You could work somewhere with asbestos. Employment just isn't worth it.
I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. I might as well get drunk and high in the meantime.

"rep"


ROFL


No shit, he seemed to have skipped all the actual advice and has decided to use moderation as a method to turn around his life.

You can't talk sense to true addicts, either he is an addict or he is just another kid, getting high and on the edge of becoming a true addict.

I feel bad for you, but I hope if you are in fact an addict, you pull yourself together. If you are not an addict, but just get high too much, even better, it will be easier to stop.

badgirl 01-03-2006 11:53 AM
Thinking this Military thing through I have to say, the military IMO is something that has to be a part of you to go into it and make something of yourself, Just because someone who is a drug addict and needs a life and a kick in the ass wants to get straight isn't any reason for him to join the Military who has someones son, daughter, husband etc depending on him to get his back when he need it. I wouldn't want someone using the Military for rehab to be the one watching my loved ones back when bullets are flying. It has to be IN the person to change and stop looking for things to change it for him. First it was his parents, then grandparents, now the military? Its not the militarys duty to give him a life, if he isn't strong enough to change for himself, why the hell would he change for anything or anybody else? You need to take a real good look at where your life is headed and set your mind to change it. You will end up losing everything because of drugs and you want to blame all your hard times on someone else, blame the drug, its the drugs fault, but drug addicts will never ever blame anything on the drug.

Herzig 01-03-2006 11:55 AM
Take this test.

http://www.1-800-therapist.com/drug_problem.htm

Herzig 01-03-2006 11:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSsurfer
rep
I thought from your thread starter that you were looking for "Elders"...not someone younger than you that probably hasn't had much life experiences other than on Chiefsplanet.

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 11:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
It sounds like ALL of your problems are self inflicted.
No sympathy here.

Lets work this out. You're an unmotivated drug addict, and you wonder why it might be possibly difficult to find gainful employment? You've been to college, for 5 YEARS!!! and now "college isn't for you". your mother is a "bad mother" but was paying for your car. Your grandparents aren't good enough to help you because they're people of faith.

Stop making excuses. Get your ass into rehab, finish the degree to go with that debt that someone has assumed for your 5 years of college and stop blaming your problems on your family.

Joining the military isn't even an option for a smackhead. All drug addicts have are excuses.

Unless you get off your ass and do somethign to improve your situation, enjoy your life as a construction laborer or welfare recipient. You're a loser by choice right now. Its one YOU can correct.
I don't think that i'm a loser at all. I could be content with having a construction job if it paid the bills and offered decent benefits. Thanks for the post though

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 11:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herzig
I thought from your thread starter that you were looking for "Elders"...not someone younger than you that probably hasn't had much life experiences other than on Chiefsplanet.
haha well.... desperation

|Zach| 01-03-2006 11:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSsurfer
I don't think that i'm a loser at all. I could be content with having a construction job if it paid the bills and offered decent benefits. Thanks for the post though
I think its obvious you couldnt get or keep or do a construction job.

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 12:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
..but...but...but I'm having fuuuuuuuuun in Oxford....sniffing glue, smoking dope and paying video games with mah loser friends all day.

All my asshole family ever does is bitch at me, take my car, offer me a place to live, but they go to church and expect me to do something to pull mah own weight. I mean, after I get done meeting Big Earl to get a hook up, I'm not even going to have any mooooonaaaay.

Call the whambulance.

I'm sure there are plenty of siding or roofing crews who will take on a meth head.

"but I'm not a meth head".


Yet.
your first post was sufficient.

QuikSsurfer 01-03-2006 12:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZachKC
I think its obvious you couldnt get or keep or do a construction job.
Not today, no.

badgirl 01-03-2006 12:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSsurfer
I don't think that i'm a loser at all.
Personally I don't look at you as being a loser, but someone who first needs to say you have a problem with drugs and change it. I think that is the FIRST thing that needs to change, and I am speaking from experience. Working as a construction worker is nothing to be ashamed of, but you said long as it paid the bill and got you what you need, what about setting your goals a lot higher than going through life with only what you need. What if you wanted to take vacation or buy a new ride wouldn't you want the money there for it? You have been in college for 5 years, you should set yourself some goals and try to reach them.


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