Sidewalk protocol.
 

I typically take a short walk every morning and afternoon. It helps clear my mind, reduce stress and provides me with some physical benefit. Nearly every day I encounter people who have zero clue on how to properly utilize a sidewalk. It seems to me that common sense would dictate that if you are walking two or three abreast on the sidewalk that one of you needs to yield to oncoming walkers. Instead I often encounter a modified game of chicken with the oncoming offender refusing to move. Usually, out of a spirit of civility, I move to the grass and keep going but I must admit that it irritates the hell out of me. I'm seriously contemplating putting out a bowl of antifreeze to teach these beady-eyed slopeheads a lesson once and for all.

If I was walking on a sidewalk with a tight rope walker and he fell off? That would be completely unacceptable.

Other walkers - I yield
Walker with dog - I yield
Runner - I yield
Stroller - I yield

I guess I pretty much yield in every situation.

Just pull your donger out and shake it at them. They'll move, trust me.

Always veer right for oncoming people. I usually go to the grass if its a large sweaty woman to avoid incadental contact

I'm with ya.

The mall and amusment parks are even worse. I hate getting trapped behind a group of mouth breathers that are walking 5 or 6 abreast and moving at -4 mph.

I've considered making shirts that say shut your mouth and do something.

When did people actually start using the sidewalk?

Oh, and people at the airport on the people mover, flat escalator things? KEEP fuckING WALKING, YOU FAT, LAZY PR*CKS!!!

Those things are fun. I like to walk fast on them. "It feels like i'm running at an incredible rate!"

Walking through the crowded concourses of Arrowhead Stadium to make a line to the mens room has made me very good at "crowd navigation".

YES! I walk as fast as I can on them and it's fun as hell. Of course, I'm easily amused too. :shake:

Or those phooking Lance wannabees that ride their Schwins in packs of 40 on 2 lane roads during rush hour?

.

it's made me quite a good drunk driver















easy it was a joke

I too hate yeilding to people on the sidewalk. I also dislike pedestrians as a general rule. Especially at crosswalks. They will run up to the intersection to make the light then as soon as they enter said intersection they 'heal-toe' it across. Or they cross against the light.

Eh, just give them a good bump with your shoulder as you pass by and they'll learn. 'Course, I can probably get by with this a little easier than a scrawny bean pole like JimNasium.

:)

In that situation, I like to just stop. Don't keep walking, don't move over, just stop and see what their next move is.

Of course, I try to avoid walking at all costs.

Walking is for suckers.

I have always noticed this phenomenon especially the hallways of buildings as early as high school. It wasnt until I got older, I began employing the above 'stop' method. I have found you can typically predict which group will or wont yield to people going the other way. Stopping presents them with a choice of yielding or walking into you and it works quite well.

Just keep walking in a relaxed but hurried manner and don't make eye contact. Pretend to be looking at something over their shoulders to your right, keeping a mild grin on your face. If you've ever seen "Zippy The Pinhead" that would be perfect. It works for me every time.

Next time put on sun glasses and use a little white walking stick in a sweeping motion in front of you; kinda sway your head back and forth. :D

I'm gaining on you. Currently I'm somewhere between 205 and 210 pounds of love.

I wholeheartedly agree with the "stop" method. I think it's good for trying to train people, as opposed to just moving.

And why do some people walk on the left side of the sidewalk? This isn't England. It annoys me to be moseying along in proper form, and then I have to move to avoid a collision because Sir Chauncey of Dyslexishire is walking directly toward me on the left side of the sidewalk.

I was thinking about a similar issue just the other day, and pondering if perhaps I could be part of the problem. When I'm on a sidewalk, I'm an active navigator. I'm mentally plotting the courses of everyone near me, and developing a route in real time to pass through with no collisions. I'm constantly making slight course adjustments to account for sidewalk conditions many steps away. Therefore, I don't have much of an issue with the brain-damaged slug people who just walk slackjawed, unless I encounter them at a corner or other location where my radar can't lock them in and do a Doppler on their courses.

The problem occurs when I encounter another person like me. Since we're both plotting courses, we each plot a course to avoid the other one, which not infrequently then puts us on a collision course. Since we both adjust, we then end up in a situation where we both move left, then both right, etc., until we have to formally make a decision on who's going which direction. Therefore, this is one of those rare instances where good planners are more of a problem than bad planners.

Built like a fresh PEAR.

You should see my stem.

I'd avoid taking any advice from the guy who walks down the side walk so poorly that people have to throw chicken noodle soup at him...

No, YOU should be able to see your stem.

ROFL

Stop and ask them which part of the sidewalk they's like.
Then jam them face first into that side.

I'm convinced that the problem is that the side walk is too narrow. :p

Sounds as though you've been partaking of Nasiums Brew a little too often.

I am 6'3", so I'm not "pear like"........yet. Jenny hasn't complained.......yet.

6'3" 210. Sounds like you're Lenny Walls.

Yeah, I'm certain we are put together in a similar manner. :shake:

That you're aware of.



Seriously though I'd like to sample some more of that brew,hopefully,that chance will be sooner than later.

That's my method...quit copying. what I find most funny on that is the whole look, like, "what is she doing?"

You need to get down to Springtown. We have some tremendous Planet gatherings.

It is much worse in Japan. I adopted the ugly American philosophy of screw em. I would walk along staring at the sidewalk/tile in a mall and never look up. Big significantly larger if they could not catch my eye they would steer clear and I would move right on through. They have no concept over their of walking on the right, no matter how wide the sidewalk or mall hallway they spread out and all walk abreast, same with stairs. Very strange and annoying.

Ah, this reminds me of a favorite family story about my Grandpa. He was about 5'6" and weighed about 130# but he was a professional boxer. As he and Grandma walked down the street in Chicago three "toughs" approached and decided to crowd him off the sidewalk. He gave them a lesson on "sidewalk protocol" that day.

At 6' 0' and 265 lbs.....I have left pear like...and entered watermellon like......

A handy rule of thumb:

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/attac...id=57393&stc=1

For God's sake, is that all you do? Bitch bitch bitch.

People walk more in SF and have it down a little better than when I get out of the city. On Bart there is an unwritten rule where you stand on the right and walk on the left on escalators.

I picked up my friend from the airport before 9/11 and met him at the gate. We were behind some heavy ladies on the people mover that were also arriving on the KC flight that couldn't grasp this concept (even there were signs to point it out.)

I simply stated, "Stand on the right, walk on the left." The lady freaked out about how rude I was. She did move though.

When approaching groups I normally head right for the middle. From a distance I want to make it clear that their group will have to seperate. I guess if they play chicken I will have to stop, or pull a Larry Johnson. However, they always seperate.

I was walking to dinner last night. Just as I entered a narrow pedestrian ramp (one of those built due to construction) who should enter the other end of the ramp but something like 100 teenage girls. The must have been on campus for some cheerleading camp or something. Needless to say they did not yield, or even acknowledge my existance for that matter. I plowed through on the right hand side, turning sideways to make my profile as narrow as possible.

That really ticks me off. When you are in a car, you can only go when the light is green.

Last fall, some turkey pulled that stunt. I stuck my head out the window and yelled, "Cross with the light!". He yelled back, "FU!" Except his reply had 7 letters instead of 2. It was a really productive conversation.

THAT'S RACIST!!!






ROFL

Or, the other favorite...

IT'S LIKE TALKING TO A ****ING WALL!!

I like scaring the shit out of those guys... It rarely happens with pedestrians, but I had a couple of guys try to "box me in" on a two lane road one time, and then they slowed down to about half the speed limit, just to piss me off. So, I stopped trying to pass. And followed them back to their neighborhood... It was dark, so they obviously had no idea that I was a skinny white kid. But when we hit those side streets and I was still behind them, they sped off at about 80 miles an hour to lose me. At which point I drove to my mom's house...

We're having an epidemic of this at the hallways in my workplace now. The root problem, is that a small army of Accenture consultants recently arrived. They really like to play these sort of 'domination' games. I've already bumped into a couple of them on purpose now - I'm 6'5" and 275lbs... if you don't see me coming, you deserve to get a shoulder check.

No one at my work place wants to play a "domination" game, so I just don't get to bump people....... :harumph:

Where did you get my picture? Did "he who will not be mentioned" get it for you?

Lin Eliot?

Right here.

About 1/2 way down the page...

nnnnooooooo much, much worse...... and I will go no farthe ino this scarey story.....

...Good to see that you have a sense of propriety. :D

Without meaning to stereotype entire groups*, the worst offenders of sidewalk protocol are groups of females. They'll be gabbing and for some reason they either are unable to keep track of their surroundings or they're so afraid of missing a word** that they won't step aside. There's a park near my house with a jogging trail, and you constantly encounter women walking two or three abreast*** who won't let you have your own side of the trail. In those cases, I'll come as close as possible and then turn sideways to barely miss brushing them****, while saying "EXCUSE me."



* Actually, I am intending to stereotype, but for legal reasons I have to have this disclaimer.

** Most likely because they know that if they're out of earshot, the other females will begin bashing them, but that's not a stereotype.*

*** Heh-heh.

**** I would prefer to actually brush against them for a variety of reasons, including teaching them about trail-hogging, but I'm afraid to do that because I don't want to get arrested and sued and stuff.

It's the same in S. Korea. :mad: And even though I didn't have the size advantage - I had the attitude advantage.

I'd like to see a woman walking two or three breasts.....

After writing this I decided to research Grandad's boxing career. I found that on June 19 of 1915 he fought Benny Leonard, the Lightweight Champion of the World. He lost on a TKO in the 7th round. He was a medical student at the time and went on to become an MD. Interestingly my dad was born 9 months and 4 days after the fight. So Grandma was either pregnant or about to become that way.

Shut up nOOb

You want I should come break your face?

Like you could make it up the stairs with your walker.

Hey, Grandad was still cleaning out the bars in his 70's. You'll be in a hell of a lot of trouble if you ever come downstairs. BTW, Benny Leonard is not his real name. It is Benjamin Leiner. A good Jewish boy. My Grandad fought under the name of Al Schumacher, the spelling is close to our name except Schumacher is a Jewish name and we are not Jewish. I don't know how he came up with that.

No it isn't. Not exclusively, anyway.

Are you aware that anybody can change their name at any time? How about the millions of blacks that took the name Washington after being freed? "No it isn't" is quite presumptious on your part and I've noticed you do that quite alot. So, I would like you to contact my sister, she speaks 5 languages fluently and goes to Europe frequently to visit our German and Italian cousins. She's a white girl from the midwest who teaches Spanish to Cubans. Please PM me for her Email address if you want her to set you straight.

Schumacher is a very common German name. It translates to "Shoe Maker."

It is accurate to call it a Germanic name. It is not accurate to call it a Jewish name, at least not exclusively, as you seemed to do. Hence my post.

As to the rest of what you wrote, it is irrelevant.

You are a poser and an insufferable braggart. My sister will tear you to shreds. Sure you don't want to talk to her?

What I said is accurate. Sorry if that displeases you.

Sorry if what I said displeases you. What I said about you is accurate.

I'm not displeased. I was merely pointing out your apparent error.

I'm not sure what you mean by "poser" so I can't make a determination.