The Chiefsplanet Peoplewatching Thread
 

I often see or hear people saying or doing things that I find intriguing, but it's not quite worth making a thread about. I figure that other people might have the same experiences. Therefore, I hope that this thread can become a clearinghouse for those little observations that might not otherwise make the cut.

My first two would be:

1. I went to the optometrist today to get my eyes checked. In the waiting room, a family came in and sat next to me: a mother, a girl of about 13 or 14, and two young boys. The mother is talking on the phone and scolding the boys who are out of control, and then the teenage girl came over to her mother. She's got both hands up near her face, and asks the mother, "What is this?" My initial thinking was that it was something in her eye since we were, after all, in an optometrist's office. Then the girl says, "I thought it was a pimple, but I'm trying to pop it and nothing's coming out."

Where is your shame, young girl? Where is your shame?


2. I came back to the office, and got a cell phone call while I was in my lobby. I was standing there taking the call when this skanky, meth-looking woman in a tank top came in. She got in the elevator and departed toward the heavens. The thing that was most noticeable about her, other than the skanky part, was that she was wearing no supportive garments above the waist, and she badly, badly needed to be wearing them. (Not large, either - envision an inverted champagne flute made out of Slinky.) I finished my call and rode the elevator up myself, and when I got off on my floor, the woman was in the front lobby of the other company on my floor filling out a job application. I really think that a skanky-looking person with bosoms befitting a National Geographic photo should consider wearing a bra or something whilst going in to apply for a job.

Please feel free to post your own minor observations here in the future.

1) Cell phone is the debil for women. Get off the phone and be a parent..

2) How do you go apply for job looking like that.
Unless you are just fullfilling the Unemployment agreement 'Trying to get a job'

Ihate woman who don't shave thier underarm and then i have to see them while working that gross.

Maybe she needs a job so she can afford to buy support.
Did ya even think of that, huh?

I"m not sure if this qualifies, but today one of the kids said, "I'm allergic to spider bites. They make my ears dry." We weren't even talking about spiders

I have reached the undeniable conclusion that driving in Texas is considered by locals to be a full-contact sport with very few rules.

And the use of turn signals is anathema.

I knew that antifreeze I put out for the kids in the neighborhood wasn't enough! :banghead:

I second this motion.

It doesn't matter what the speed limit in a construction zone is, every blue hair driving thru said construction zone will drive at least 5-10mph below the posted speed limit.

That'll work. Perhaps spider bites are responsible for more dry ears than we know.


Here's another one. There's this guy who has one of those little portable hot dog stands about half a block from my office. I'm sure that he's a nice guy and all, but I don't see myself buying a hot dog from a warming tray sitting out in the sun all day. I've walked by this guy every day for about three years now, and I feel like he's watching me and waiting, waiting for that day that I'm going to stop and buy one of his hot dogs, and I feel bad knowing that it'll never happen. His eyes follow me as I walk past him, and he never says anything, never complains, never smiles, never moves, but those eyes watch me as I approach and I can feel them searing into my back as I leave.

Yes they do. And believe me when I say I have a jagged one pound piece of concrete hiding in my stand I'm going to chuck at the back of your head the first time no one else is around.

:cuss:

When did they start allowing scatily-dressed, young women to cook hot dogs and such from trailers in front of Home Depots? That's not fair.

Hardware store + bratwurst + cooked/served by scantily-clad young females = guaranteed sales to men.

Ok here another one the hindu people who yell at you not meat even when i told the cook that and they can see the food being prepared. All while screaming at me.

Huh?

Well i get these hindu customer and they alway tell me no meat and i tell my cook no meat on there food but they alway yell at me when they order. Like hey ok but don't yell at me ok.

NO MEAT!

They're only yelling because if you put meat on it they'll go to hell or something. They really can't emphasize that point enough.

And a red light doesn't really mean "stop" until it's been lit for at least 5 seconds.

Spandex is a privilege, not a right!

I also describe them looking like "a golf ball in a tube sock".

I think about kcnut to be my favorite poster. ROFL

A couple more minor peoplewatching observations.


1. When I was driving into work today, I saw a guy on a bike with an unusual haircut. He had kind of bushy hair on the sides, but looked to be bald on the top. He had then shaved the back of his head at the same width of the bald spot, in essence leaving a bushy puffball of hair in either side of his head, with nothing in the middle. It looked rather like he had cocker spaniel ears instead of hair.

2. I had lunch today at a middle eastern restaurant, and our waiter had some combination of a middle eastern accent, a Bronx accent, and some kind of minor speech impediment. It was one of the more interesting and grating accents I've heard in a while.

I was getting my regular pedicure yesterday and this women who was sitting in the chair next to me was gettine her feet done, and all you could see was big pieces of skin and nails floating around in the water and around on the floor.

Yeah, it was gross. :Lin:

That's all.

Ok what about when a bum come to your work fat ugly and smelly and then have the nerve to give me crap cause you ask if he need anything.

there is a rapper named 50 cent
if he is half buck is the other half doe

OKay, for some reason a faulty synapse in my brain has been emitting band names into my consciousness lately. I don't know why - I don't have a band. I am not thinking about forming a band. But these names keep popping into my head. Four of Five Doctors.

The animal kingdom has been pretty well picked over since the sixties, what with the Beatles, the Birds, The Eagles, the Monkees, and of course the Animals. MilkMilkLemonade

For every Poison or Anthrax, there is the Cure. With the number of garage or basement bands or wannabe bands, you might think all conceivable names have already been taken. Part of the Problem

What makes a good band name, anyway? It has to be reasonably short, yet something rememberable. City or state names (ie Chicago or Kansas) might get some popularity from their respective regions, but any other band using a municiple name is just being a copycat. Young kids in bands want something edgy, just a little dangerous, yet acceptable enough to be able to tell their mothers the name of the band they are in. Itinerate Stalwarts

I hope I get over this phase.

Sounds almost like a Larry Fine wannabe.

Or Bozo the Clown.

May I suggest my favorite band name from Jello Biafra's rant about them: Video Sex Pope.

I didn't know Bozo had a reverse mohawk.

I went to a party tonight, and this woman started talking to me, and she was such a close talker that I think I may have gotten her pregnant.

It was weird. She was right up in my face, closer than two people ever get unless they're dating. I kept backing up, and she would keep moving forward. I swear that her face was less than a foot from mine. It was weird.

I went to Firefall this past July. About 60,000 people there to watch. It can definitely be interesting.

Heh...

I went to Wendy's for lunch and a skank comes in and gets in line behind my wife and I. I see the boyfriend pull around to the other side of the building and notice another scary looking couple in the back seat looking in at her. We placed our order then sat and watched her....She places and order and asks for an application. Of coarse its really busy but this skank insists on seeing the manager (No. 1 no no in my book) who is completely slammed. The skank gets her food and takes it out to the car and returns for her interview....The manager comes out frustrated and calmly explains to the girl he has no time fo an interview and will call her later so she leaves visibly upset....I'm thinking...thats a nice first impression when all the sudden the boyfriend comes in and throws a complete fit and demands his money back for the food she bought since the order was "wrong". After thats resolved he looks at the manager and tells him what a jackass he is not hiring his wife....WOW

I took my daughter to HS today to pick up her schedule and get her yearbook picture taken. I saw a teenage boy there that was wearing baby blue socks with sandles; navy blue polyester shorts with a verticle red-white-and-blue stripe and a pocket on the thigh; and a baby-blue golf shirt. The poor kid was emitting nerd rays.

I have a contender!
 

This is particularly relevant given the previous post by cd.

So...I don't know if I can do this moment justice, but allow me a moment of preface.

I was fishing today in a lake, known for large bass near a nuke plant. There happend to be a Triathalon there, and the swimming began when I arrived, people everywhere...pain in the arse. We fish for hours, with no luck, along with every other fisherman in the lake.....around 2:30...the fun is starting to take its toll(as is the sunburn).

Enter stage left.

We're fishing from my boat, near an out of the way ramp and rock jettie, when I notice a girl with 2 horses and a dog in a bandana, standing on the jettie, having photos taken. I make mention to my cohorts and estimate it is her senior photos.

Soon, the approach the ramp in the small area we are fishing, and it is announced(by mother and daughter...father, boyfriend, and horses in trail) that they are taking her senoir photos...and that she's about to take some in the water.(Basically, Get out of the way with your boat, silly fisherman, thy are ruining the impending photo of Rodeo Princess Polly.

She sits down, removes boots and puts on expensive cowboy lid and reminds us she's about to take a pic on her horse....to which I reply and I quote "I'm not surprised, as I can see by your hat, that you are a cow..boy".

Immediately, father enters from stage left, daughter mounts bareback on horse...dad begins to lead horse down ramp...I reach for digital camera, hoping for vid mode but fail to act quickly enough.

As dad and horse with daughter bareback in tow reach water line....Horse goes Berzerker! Girl bounces from back haunches, into air and back to rebound buck of horse and is LAUNCHED several feet into the air and then into the water(neatly groomed hair, clean cloths, shiny buckle, new expensive stetson lid, ass over teakettle. Horse, still going berzerk leaps deeper into water. As soon as I realize the girl is unharmed, I snap action photo to be attached.

Hillarity at her expense ensued. In a moment strait out of dane cook comedy with nothing missing but an icecream cone to smash on her face....Iowanian made sure it was a moment she'd never forget.

I saw a really bad crossdresser in the grocery store today. I was walking up to the deli counter, and I see this person facing away from me, wearing a skirt and blouse and women's sandals. My first thought was wonderment at seeing a woman who was 6 foot 5. My second thought was that she sure had manly legs.

Sure enough, the guy turns around and it's not only a guy, but it's a guy with a very deep voice. He had grown his hair past his shoulders and had fingernail polish and toenail polish, but no fake mammaries. It was just a guy in a women's skirt.

He was with a women, and she looked like she might be his mother, though it's possible that she was a girlfriend. It was really hard to figure out this guy's age. He was talking to her and then went over and gave her a big hug right there at the deli counter. I wondered if she found it embarrassing.

My disappointment was only drowned out by the 98 decibles of laughter in my boat. Just close your eyes and imagine. It'll get you there.

The only potential 'non-funny' was when the horse could have kicked her in the brainpan, or jumped on her and stamped her into the mud in 4' of water....after that....Raw comedy.

I guess this fits here in that it probably doesn't deserve a thread of its own.

On the way to work this morning, a cop enters the interstate directly behind me. This is through a construction zone where the posted speed is 45 mph. So I pull onto the interstate in moderately heavy traffic and toe the line for the 10 seconds it takes the cop to enter and pass me. I then enter the middle lane and drive about 10 - 15 mph over the speed limit, which is the consensus speed limit for that lane. I can see the cop ahead and he is in the fast lane at the end of a line of cars going at least 65 in a 45 with construction workers on the job site. A s soon as the driver at the end of the conga line notices the cop behind him, he pulls over to the middle lane and the cop moves up a slot in the line. Rinse and repeat. I soon lose track of the cop because I'm content to go 55-60. Meanwhile, I'm still getting passed every few seconds by cars in the fast lane. About 6 miles up the road I finally catch up to the cop. He's got someone pulled over and is already out of the car talking to the motorist. I was just wondering what this person must have been doing to get singled out from a heard of probably 100 motorists all blatently ingoring the posted construction speed limit.

I was in a meeting today with two women who, to the best of my recollection, interrupted over 75 percent of the sentences begun by the rest of the people in the meeting. One of the people finally told them to stop and let other people finish their sentences. It wasn't an effective admonishment, though.

There's been this guy walking around our building. He's a doughy white guy wearing black fatigue pants, a black shirt with epilets and a black beret.
Ours is a small, one level suburban office building in a commercial area. Anyway, we'll be working away and this figure all in black will walk by our window. Huh!! [the only thing in front and behind our building are our parking lots, and the only thing outside our windows is a small strip of grass [1-15 yards] between us and the restuarant next to us]

Half hour later, he walks in our lobby, looks around, walks back out.

Week later, come back from lunch, and he's sitting in his car, a mid-80s Ciera [again, black. But rusty and dilapidated]. Oh, and did I mention about 20 doll and Barbie heads on his dash? Or the fringe across the top of his front windshield/headliner?
Weeks later, he walks in front of my car at the drive through, halfway across town, passing from Taco Bell to Arbys and further points unknown.
Every time, it's the same euro-doughboy black bereted ensemble.
So evidently E-ville has a new wandering eccentric.

I'm currently in Cabo San Lucas in a Ballroom filled with at least 1,000 strangers. We're stuck here because of Hurricane John, which is due to hit in the next couple of hours. Since I'll be sleeping with 1,000 people that I don't know tonight, I'm sure I'll have some observations to report.

The one thing that surprises me is that hotel staff and kitchen are have been incredibly efficient and gracious in a time where people could be in a panic. I'll post more info if anything crazy happens.

I didn't see anything unusual today.

Maybe it's Death, and you're slated to die in a very eccentric manner, but he can't find your office.

You'll have to update us. I agree - you're bound to get some great peoplewatching out of this.

Well fortunately, I have nothing to report. Hurricane John missed Cabo San Lucas and after 13 hours sequestered in the main ballroom, we were released to the comfort of our rooms.

The staff was incredible and because of that, everyone put together a tip jar and raised over $2500 for the staff. They did a tremendous job and it was actually a really fun day.

I was at the movie store the other day and there was this tiny girl in front of me with one of the smallest voices I've ever heard. She's talking to the girl at the video counter about one of the movies she's getting, Toy Story. They were talking about how they liked it and everything, all in this voice, suited to come out of a 12 year old. Getting curious, I decided to see what the other movie she was renting was.

It was a porn called, "Bang My Black P*ssy 2." Needless to say, the whole situation kinda took me by surprise.

Moooo

Are you sure the first movie wasn't something like "Boy Toy Story"?

I was hoping for more stories of desperation and murder and fighting over the last drink of water from the canteen.

I just took a little trip to Georgia, and I have a few peoplewatching things to report.


1. I was waiting at my gate, and there was a couple there that I think was Japanese. The guy had a banana. Instead of peeling from the top where the stem is, he peeled it from the bottom. That fascinated me. Do Japanese people peel their bananas from the bottom, or was this some kind of one-time anomaly?

2. I got home and got my car from the parking lot, and had to stop at one of those little booths to pay the parking fee. They parking guy's name tag was "Yasir A." That gives you a good feeling about airport security.

3. Speaking of homeland security, I had to fly three hours on a plane with a guy sitting directly behind me who was wearing a Romanowski jersey. I kept hoping an air marshall would shoot him.

4. I was in the security line at the airport, and I had my shoes and laptop and stuff in those little tubs that I was pushing along the x-ray conveyor. The guy behind me wasn't paying attention and pushed his own little tub into my hand. I ignored it and kept moving. Ten seconds later, he did it again. Once is an accident, twice is inexcusable. If I didn't have to catch a plane, I probably would've killed him with piano wire.

This in response to your sig.

With regards to Geathers

Best Senator Palpatine voice on/ I will be watching your career with great interest I'm sure.

Little People watching.

No, not a midget this time.

I was loading wood that had been cut and split in the spring onto wagons and trailers with a group of men from a religious affiliation of my choice, for a charity auction for the school last thursday.

About 20 men and a couple of kids in a field, loading wood into trailers and wagons and a blistering pace...mostly farmers and construction workers, and they were working their asses off.

ffw.
Anyway, there was a boy of about 5 years in age, the son of one "helping". The wood piles produced mass amounts of Spiders(wolf spiders, brown recluse, and the big black-yellow garden spiders) in numbers unmatched in years. Snakes were revealed among other creatures.

Anyway, the kid is squatting down, looking at some ants on a large piece of bark and asked "hey, are these meat-eating ants"

At this time, I look up and reply "they only eat meat if its no taller than (hold hand out 6" taller than he is).....he kind of laughs in a concerned way as in the "i'm not afraid of the boogieman" during a ghost story kind of way.

Just as he says this, someone moves a log and out jumps a huge field mouse, that runs 5' to the squatting boy watching people-eating ants...and it runs UP his leg, on top of his head, around his head, over his face, and around his neck and shoulders twice before I get it slapped off of his back.

He was speachless with the EEeebyJeebies for a minute, and I may have detected the slightest hint that he heard the Brown Noise.

He spent the remainder of the hour, telling the other kids his version of the attack of the Man-eating Rat.

High Larry Ass.

I was taking a piss at the urinal in the bathroom when this guy walks in, doesn't even break stride, talking on his cell phone,opens a stall door, sits, and goes to town #2 all while still talking on his cell???

ROFL

I walked to the grocery store today to get more cups for our temporary kitchen situation. Between my house and the store, there's a school, and a couple of kids and their mother/big sister/babysitter were on the swings.

One of the kids, a boy of about 7 or 8, was talking to the woman, and he was saying something about doing a backflip off the swing. I was thinking, "Yeah, yeah, put your money where your mouth is."

So the kid is swinging and he's picking up good speed, and when he got to the top of the arc, he let go of the chains, kicked his feet up over his head, and did a backflip backwards out of the swing. He didn't stick the landing and ended up on his knees, but I was nonetheless quite impressed.

He's lucky he didnt end up in the Stephen Hawking wing of the local hospital :shake:

Yeah. I'd think you could hurt yourself pretty bad if you landed wrong. I was surprised that the woman had no reaction to it. She just watched it like I did, which makes me think she wasn't his mom.

When my kids were smaller i was ALWAYS on them about having a "survival instinct" on the playground, his sitter if thats the case, should be cane lashed.

I was standing in line at a comedy club waiting to get in and I feel this woman behind me brush my ass with her hand. I didn't think anything of it after all we were standing in a crowded line. Then she did it again and I'm thinking she is either trying to cop a feel or really careless. It happened a third and fourth time and I'm thinking I have to see what she looks like cause she's standing their feeling my ass. I turned around and she is smoking hot, thats when I realized she has got to be the most careless person on Earth.

:LOL:

No Just my pride

Well that was a given.

Was eating at the local chinese buffet [across from the county courthouse], when in walks the mulletin'-est, flannellest pair of bull dykes and their carney-folk entourage. Couldn't tell if the 'men-folk' were family or the swinging meat. Anyways, the older gal mutters "sit down and eat quick, we gots to get to court."

That's just preamble. The funny is when the younger BD voices her 'complaint' to the harried busboy.

Turns out that one of the offerings on the buffet is a concoction called [with little stars on the name plate] King Lobster Claw. It's some imitation crab meat, breaded and deep fried, with a little crab claw sticking out the side to suggest authenticity.

YBD must not've paid attention to the star-adorned sign, because she looms over this poor chinaman, and exclaims "Mah chickens gots bones in it. Ahh think ah chipped mah toof."

Cue me [the only of our group to have caught the exchange] with the spit take, and subsequently, desperately, trying to pretend my guffaws were a result of something other than YBD's remarks, lest the cross-eyed, banjo pickin' entourage get wise and tune me up in the parking lot.

I'm glad that I very seldom have to deal with the general public.

So....last night, the wife is in the living room, watching "walk the line"..again on our new 32" hd flatscreen. I'm in the man room, watching MNF when the phone rings. A relative of hers is in our town with an elderly friend and there are no rooms available for 30 miles. I drive to their location, lead them to Casa de Iowanian.

These are older gentlemen, who work with draft horses and the like....On the way in, they mention that they always like to have a whiskey drink before bed on this trip...and I have no problem with that. They bring out a 1/5 of CMist, I get out glasses, and happen to have the Pepsi and Sprite they seek. I proceed to work on the beer I had for the game, and we sit in the kitchen talking for about 45 minutes. Its approaching 11:15, and we've all got to be up around 6.....I realize that in 45 minutes, 2/3s of that bottle of Whiskey were gone. These fellows mix their drinks STOUT.

Anyway....now to the fun part. They don't want to bother us or wake the sleeping child by using the upstairs extra bedroom, and ask for the sofas..1 in the man room, 1 in the living room.....fine, whatever. So we head to the main part of the house to show them where they'll be staying, with brideowanian leading the way and as she enters the living room, she goes into some Serious Kung-Fu-Slow Motion-Morpheus moves, diving for the remote.......It turns out, "walk the line" was over, and HBO had scheduled some pretty graphic sex show....and there, in 32", HD glory, is a nude, spread woman plunging herself with an Huge object that I can only surmise is illegal in at least half of the 50 states. We're talking Visible cervix if not blocked by the tonka dumptruck or whatever that thing was.....

I'm pretty sure she had the "recall" button hit before they rounded the corner....She's still horrified today, afraid they saw or heard the moans....I can't stop giggling.

Iowanian was known to have been watching football in the other room.....The basket of half folded laundry, was in front of the HBOpRon.

Bah. HBO is tame compared to Skinemax.

Hee-Hee, chicks are dirtier minded than men sometimes, they just pretend they arent. I'm guessing your night ended well :hmmm:

True....

Have some guests in your home, follow you into a room that you were unaware the "Sex machine" episode of Real Seks 85 was broadcasting.

well...I'm sure you wouldn't be surpised it was on.....and it would probably be some bizarre fetish stuff.

With a baby, 2 guests in the house? You're not married.

I'd say the same thing, but she does get a pass...I had walked in earlier, and it was in fact the Johnny Cash movie.

OMG that is too funny.. ROFL My wife would have done a Matrix like move too. Great story. :)

I have a couple of observations from this past week.

1. I saw two policemen go by on Segways the other day. How fast are those things anyway? Could they be used to chase someone down, or would the policemen have to jump off them and run if a perp started fleeing?

2. I saw a woman walking a bird the other day. It was getting dark and I was walking home, and there were two women standing on a corner waiting for the light to change. One of them was walking a bulldog, and the other one had her arm crooked out horizontally in front of her. There was a bird sitting on her forearm. It was about 8 or 10 inches tall and had a profile like a hawk or a falcon, and it made me wonder if she was some sort of urban falconer.

I'm sitting in Sky Harbor airport yesterday when a smallish man with one arm strolls by with a cart. Really! This isn't BS. Anyway, he walks over to a nearby trash container and struggles to get the lid off. I'm thinking, well, at least he's trying and has a job that pays him a wage. He's probably a pretty decent dude. (I have empathy for people who aren't at the top of the class, etc..) He procedes to take a couple of items at the bottom of the trash can with his hand (instead of removing the liner). He got them out and carried them to the cart. The big, nasty, trash-filled bag that he was going to put them in was folded down at the top. He put his head into the big, nasty trash bag to grab the top and opened it with his teeth! YIKES! I felt so bad not running over to help, but it was too late. He got it open and deposited the trash and went along to another trash can. I thought to myself, "Who is his supervisor and why is he doing this job?" Couldn't he run a vacuum cleaner or something?

So there I was last night, alone in the electronics Isle, searching high and low for the right Home theater to bring home. Finding in myself the proper amount of time to wait for some assistance and yet wanting time to not be annoyed by a salesman, I struggled immediately with the prospects of shopping this time of year.

My inner thoughts on the Panasonic vs Yamaha systems was Shattered by a sound. It sounded like a wet weather balloon was untied and allowed to bounce around the Isle behind me.

PFfffffffffffffffffffffffFFFFRBBBBBRRRRRRRRRFffffffffffffffft

Followed by the muffled "ooooh no" of the guy who'd stepped into what he thought was a quiet, private spot and had obviously sharted.

He saw me, I saw him and with uncomfortable eye contact I said the the only thing that came to mind.

"Can I get Courtesy flush in Isle 3?"

I was in an airport the other day and was trying to find something. A guy with an airline tag was standing around nearby, and even though he had a bit of that "I'm weird and stay away from me" look, I went over and asked him.

Sure enough, he was weird, and he prattled on a bit after giving me my directions. I smiled and nodded and kept edging away from him when I noticed it.

As he was talking, he kept edging closer to me, and he was missing a whole bunch of teeth on the bottom. He had a couple left, and with the angle at which he was facing me, I had a clear view of them. I swear that, even though they were in the front of his mouth, they were bicuspids.

ohnoes!
ROFL

The locker room in my health club has hair dryers in it. You walk right by them when you're going to the showers, and there's some tall older fellow who stands there naked and used the hair dryers to dry the ... (ahem) ... the goods, and other areas with deep crevices. You shouldn't be using the hair dryers for that. You just shouldn't.

Just got back from my honeymoon on Hawaii.
While doing the Polynesian Cultural Center thing, which is basically a "tour" of the cultures of the Polynesian islands, our tour guide explained how the Fijians would sacrifice humans to the Gods.

Old guy in our group went ahead and asked if that was still a common practice.

guhhhhh.....

Two minor episodes involving the female of the species.

#1. There is a woman sitting in her mini-van listening to Billie Holliday type jazz. It must be pretty loud as she has her windows up and my window is not open, yet I can still hear it clearly. As far as I could tell, she wasn't smoking cigarettes or tossing back gin.

2. I stop at the same convenience store every morning for coffee. One of the clerks does not speak, instead she softly squeeks. I swear that the only intelligible words I've heard from her are 'thank you". A typical encounter:

Her: meee beeek peee (barely audible)

Me: Hi

Her: mity oorr eeent (sixty-four cents)

Me: (hand her the money)

Her: eeerty eeex (thirty six)

Me: Thank you.

Her: Thank you.

I think she might have a speech impediment, but she has honestly never spoken loudly enough for me to tell for sure.

I went to kmart on friday. A larger lady comes up to me and goes "hey we are having a raffle for free jewlrey" I am thinking whats the catch, but then I think hey it's kmart they probably should be bringing out rose peddles because I am in the store. I was looking for a splitter for my cable so i finished ruffled through a bunch of items in the eletronic section when people asked me if they could help me i said NO, probably in not a positive voice. So I go over after getting my shit and Listen to a 20 minute schpeal about jewlrey and take a survay. Then the lady says ok the jewlrey is free if you buy this other item. Everyone groans. She says what? It's a good deal. I said good deal, good deal would be free. So she says nothing is free, I said my time is expensive. Anyway I am walking out to the car and these kids from D.A.R.E. Want me to donate money, I asked them what is your program for. She said against drugs, alchohol and voilence and i replyed "Now why the **** would i give money to the 3 things I love the most" She laughed and she said well maybe you can buy a tshirt for a joke. So I pull out my wad of cash and I go yeah the meth business has been good. She pulls up a picture of all these kids and was like, would you sell meth to these kids and I said, already do? Why do you think they are so pumped up for recess. Anyway I was walking to car and a guy says "STOP" i figured it was going to be some pissed off parent that I said what I did to the 8th grader or whatever. It was a guy with no kmart shirt on or anything and he wants to see my reciept. I asked him why, I ain't giving you shit, I am on bannister road and you are stopping me halfway to my car. He threatens to call the police and I just threw the reciept at him and just grumble. Then I figured later you see a guy with a baggy ass clothes on going through a bunch of electronics then talking about meth to 8th graders chances are he was stealing something. The sad thing is i forgot to by another coaxil cord and I had to go back and the same fat lady asked if i wanted free jewlrey again.

the stuff with the eight graders was great.........
that's real funny


:rolleyes:

You should have gone home and put on your Greg brady "johnny Bravo" outfit and upon your return, done a live, accoustic "chiefsplanet" song.

This time though, I think you should have done a song to that clever Iowanian's poop thread Lyrics.