prayer request: for my children
 

i have been contemplating wether or not to do this for quite some time and am still not too keen on spilling my guts out on this BB despite the fact that i feel there is a good sense of "community" here. i'm not an overly religious person and somewhat question the power of prayer, but if ever i needed support through prayer, now is that time. i have two beautiful children (daughter age 7, son age 5) and they really need your help/thoughts/prayers.

if any of you have been wondering where i have been or what i've been doing for the past couple months, here's the scoop... please bear with me as this is a LONG story.

for the last 2 years, i have been battling my ex-wife for custody of my children. it has been an ugly UGLY fight both in terms of emotional (and financial) stress.
my ex (from now on will be addressed as "asshole" for storytelling purposes) is a drug (coccaine, weed, pills, etc) abuser, physical abuser, and an emotional abuser. she lives with and associates with an ex-convict and his juvenile delinquent son. these two people also abuse my children when they are around them.

examples of abuse you ask? honestly there are too many to list but i will give you a small sample. (i could seriously write a bible sized book about this.) not feeding the kids, not bathing the kids, not taking them to the doctor's when they are sick or injured, locking them out of the house in rain/snow/cold/night (in t-shirts and shorts) so they could do their drugs, hitting/kicking/beating the kids (i have pictures of bruises), stealing the kid's college funds for drug money, shooting the kids with bb guns, doing drugs in front of the kids, locking the kids in rooms unsupervised with porn movies in the dvd players, yelling/screaming at the kids, telling the kids they wished they were never born, making the kids drink beer, forcing the kids to be physically abusive to each other, threatening the kids, physically abusing the kid's pet dog in front of them to intimidate the kids (ie: i'm going to do this to YOU if you don't...) throwing out the kids birthday/x-mas presents that come from my house/family in front of them (usually after smashing them to bits), smoking (whatever) in front of them and then blowing it in their faces...
*sigh* the list goes on... i'm sure you get the idea, so back to the story.

prior to jan 1st of this year, my children were in asshole's physical custody and were subjected to all sorts of inappropriate or abusive behaviors (as noted above). i was only allowed to see them on weekends. after jan 1st, my children moved in with me and things drastically changed for them (obviously for the better)
within 3 weeks of them living with me, all their teachers (from the private school i had them enrolled in) approached me and said they noticed a complete and positive change in the children's behavior, appearance, and academics. unbeknownst to me, asshole had approached the school and made up all sorts of BS lies and stories about me and none of the teachers would approach or speak with me (for the most part). luckily my son's teachers were some pretty sharp individuals (thanks so much for believing in me mrs. m and mrs. e !!) and pulled me aside prior to the children moving in with me and asked me about the situation. (apparently they had tried contacting asshole since the beginning of the year about my son's aggressive and inappropriate behaviors in class. they insisted that he get some type of counseling but were getting nowhere with asshole so turned to me.) i explained to them that i had been trying to get counseling for my children since the divorce, but was unable to get asshole to sign consent forms because she didn't want the children to talk about her, convict boyfriend, gangster son, or what was going on @ her house. this news disgusted them, so they told me some of the things that asshole had said about me and told me that they would try and help me get some counseling. a couple weeks later (after more unsuccessful attempts to get any response from asshole) i had an official school document DEMANDING counseling for my son and several teachers giving me full support to start some type of action. (they also contacted DSS on my children's behalf due to some of the things my children were telling their teachers at school).

so, with support from the school, and DSS investigating asshole (finally) i decided to make my move and slam this b!tch. i contacted my attorney (who knew i was going to go for custody when i had some ammo), got the kids in with the counselor (i had been trying to get them in with for the last 2 yrs), and served asshole with my intent to sue for full custody.
from there all hell broke loose.

we have been to court at least 6 times in the last 4 months. been subjected to hardcore investigations by the courts and DSS, subjected to drug testing (i have passed all of them because i am CLEAN, while she has failed them... she came out 30 times (16000ng) over the limit (500ng) for coccaine) subjected to countless questioning (the same friggin questions over and over *groan*) by countless court agents (who never seem to pass prior investigation information along) and paid out so much money i've had to sell things and take out loans just to keep up. and this is far from over...

just before our last court appearance (about 3 weeks ago) asshole took my daughter and threw her against a wall and subsequently put her in the hospital. she is out of the hospital now and doing much better. she won't suffer any permanent neurological damage according to the doctors, but didn't have any "marks" on her so the hospital couldn't prove (without reasonable doubt) that asshole did it to her. both my kids vehemently maintain that asshole did do this, but we have no hard proof.

un-fucking-believeable.

currently, i have been granted full physical and legal custody of my children. however, for some strange reason, asshole has been granted visitation rights (every other weekend) and "interim dinner visits" where she can take the kids every wednesday night for 3 hours. thankfully, my daughter (currently) doesn't have to go with asshole, but my son does. (so what fucking GOOD does it mean for me to have full custody if she has any contact with them??!!! someone please enlighten me on that one... i'm baffled...)
at the very least has this change in custody brought about any positive changes? you bet! my kids are now in a new school, love it and are doing GREAT , they have new friends that they get to play with (their mother never let them go visit friends or have friends over because of the drugs... she even used to transport the drugs in their school backpacks... WTF??!!), they now have sleep overs, playdates, birthday parties (where no one smashes their gifts and/or throws them out), they have been begging to play sports and are now enrolled in and playing sports, get to see their counselor/therapist (whom they really dig...) on a weekly basis, and best of all, they are smiling and laughing again... it has been a long time since i've seen something so simple as a smile on their faces (how friggin sad THAT sh*t was... for a LONG time). it is truly a beautiful thing.

it is my firm opinion that asshole should have no contact with my children whatsoever, but apparently the extremely liberal court system in my state doesn't agree with my assessments. (fuck!!) my attorney, on the other hand, is very pleased with current orders as this state is EXTREMELY biased towards women/mothers and fathers usually (99.9% of the time) get totally SHAFTED. at this point i feel i can attest to that.
now asshole has shifted her tactics and is fucking with me with the only group of people who will still listen to her bullsh*t: DSS. she can't beat me in court so she's getting these dumb b4stards to fuck up our world. how is she getting them to listen to her? well, she tells them that i force my kids to watch porn, that i'm a porn addict and that i wank my hogan in front of my kids... she has also threatened my children to lie for her to support her claims. (nice) all her other claims (about me) to DSS have been thrown out as ridiculous, but this time she got their attention. i am now being investigated by these DSS dumbasses for 45 days. fuck!!!

despite the fact that i have a lot of good people backing and supporting me (teachers, lawyers, counselors/therapists, doctors, neighbors, family members, etc..) and that my entire case is based in truth and fact and hers is based on lies and pure bullsh*t, we are going into court yet again for another "pre-trial" hearing this coming thursday the 28th of sept 2006. when will this end??!!

members of chiefsplanet. i humbly ask for your support, thoughts and prayers in regards to this matter on behalf of my children, their safety, well-being and subsequent future(s). i have fought long and hard in this battle for them, and will continue to do so, but i am losing faith in this court system that won't close the door on this and continues to grant their fucked-up mother chances to manipulate and damage their chances of having any form of "normal" childhood.

please keep my children in your thoughts and prayers this coming thursday.

thank you.

thanks to whoever put the "sticky" on.

my god man.you are in a tough spot there..

I give you alot of credit for keeping your cool..I might have lost it if I was in that situation..
I would document everything asshole does from now until kingdom comes..hopefully there are no lasting effects on your children..

god bless you and your kids man!!!

Wow...quite a story there. I wish you all the best. Good luck on Thursday.

Wow, I feel for ya man. Keep up the good fight, those kids are worth it!

Something to think about, how difficult would it be to get asshole busted with all those drugs around the house? If she is sitting in the Pen she won't be harming the kids. Heck, it might even give her a chance to dry out and find herself.

Good luck to you and the kids. Hang tough.

Dude i dont even know where to start, as parcells said i dont know that i would have been able to keep my cool, i might have wound up in jail where i would be totally useless=dont go that route as tempting as it is. All you can do is LOVE your kids to death, let'em know how much they mean to you EVERY DAY. I've got a 16 yr.old daughter and 15yr.old son who i get to see every other weekend and i tell them every day. Just remember that when they grow up they will KNOW who loves them and who they want to be around and that rotten bitch will prolly die a broken and LONELY woman. Just keep doing the right thing and you'll win. Godbless!!!

Keep the faith what comes around goes around. Remember that to defeat the enemy you must find out what she does and sometime just call the cops to a suprise search warrent.

DING we have a winner!!! seriously, prolly best for all involved ifn she did get busted. and actually dry out. will definately keep you'ns in prayer.

We got custody of my teenage girls 2 months ago and have to attend their mother's appearl next week. You can do it.

Our legal system is entirely ****ed up when it comes to this stuff, I'll never understand why the men are always at such a disadvantage. The fact that DSS is entertaining accusations from someone with her background is disturbing as well.

I just hope all turns out well for you & your kids.

Congrats Phil, I know how much that means to you! :thumb:

wow, that's great news...

it's hard for a father to get full custody in missouri, real hard...

whether it's a missouri or texas decree, congratulations... :toast:

you must have had one a hell of a good lawyer...

congrats again...

loki...

congratulations for getting custody of your kids... :toast:

i wouldn't worry too much about the court giving custody back to your ex... i mean asshole...

once you've gotten custody based on the mother's behavior, the likelihood that she would regain custody s roughly equal to the likelihood that that i could fly away like a hummingbird any time soon...

don't hold your breath...

you've already won the war (custody), a few more skirmishes and it will all be over with, is my guess...

tough spot? hell... what she does to me makes no difference. what she does to my kids is a completely different story.

as far as keeping my cool, doesn't always work out so well. but to my credit, i'm not in jail for murder... YET. my current "fantasies" involve a bayonette, eviscerated intestines, and a victory dance in the gore to the tune of james brown's "i feel good"...

documentation. been doing it since the divorce. the "volume" is huge and copies are in posession of the court investigator and my attorney.

lasting effects? well, everytime my daughter sees asshole she pretty much shudders, makes wounded-animal noises and hides in her room.
my son has been bribed and threatened to lie so much for asshole that he doesn't know the difference between truth and lie and when to tell what. *groan*
thankfully they have a great therapist who understands them and is going to bat for them in court. as long as they can stay away from asshole they'll do fine. them being away from her for this long (even with the visitation) has done well by them, so i can only believe (hope?) that things will get better if custody remains this way.

i appreciate your thoughts and well wishes. thank you.

hmmm... well to be perfectly honest, i have a state cop friend who i discussed possible "busted" scenarios with. unfortunately for me, i have WAYYY too much motive and they'd be knocking on my door all too quickly. damn...

personally instead of finding "herself", i'd prefer she found a long piece of rope and something to hang herself on...

naahh. i don't want to go to the "stripey hole" (jail).

i tell my kids i love them and that i'm proud of them thousands of times a day. they have been through a LOT of crap and been exposed to sh*t that NO CHILD should have to deal with. i just hope i can provide them with some semblance of a happy childhood before it is too late for them... they were forced to grow up well before their time. cripes, when my kids lived with asshole, my poor daughter had to take the role of mother because her "mother" was always off getting fucked up. she did everything from feed him to changing his diapers @ the age of 5. she's a tough little bird, and has always exceeded my expectations.

heh... i don't care if asshole dies broken and lonely... i'll be satisfied with the dying part though... ;)

congrats on your victory.

Fight the good fight Loki. I know you can win this one.


Nolite bastardes carborundorum

Thoughts and prayers for you and your kiddos.

God Bless.

Loki,
I know you have a lot of anger for their mother. I know. I've been there. But she probably won't always be drugged up screwup. She may yet get cleaned up and straighten her life up - which is what you want to happen, believe it or not. Those kids are half of her and if she's an abysmal life failure, they're going to have that hurdle to cross in addition to all the others.

You've got it rough brutha. I wish you well.

The best thing is that you have your kids pretty young. They have a chance. Let me know if I can be of help in some way.

dude, that makes two of us!!! WTF is up with the bias against men? :shrug:

as far as DSS is concerned i fully agree. 45 fuckin days of those assfucks crawling up my ass and dragging my kids down "memory lane"... AGAIN...
everyone keeps saying we need to move the kids beyond all this, yet they're going to drag them through it all over again. hypocritical jackasses... :shake: . they're going to find me "negligent" in my children's development when asshole the crackhead is the one calling them 40 times a week making the claims and halting all and any means of forward progress??!!

good work DSS. real perceptive... :rolleyes:

i was hoping to hear your perspective on this. (you're an attorney aren't you?)

i understand that once custody is granted that it's going to take some SERIOUS pull to overturn the decision. (as far as i know, the intricacies of this case may or may not have set some new precedence in my state... @ least that's what the judge and the GAL were discussing at the last hearing)

my questioning deals more with what GOOD is this decision going to do for me or my kids when she has:
a. visitation
b. is already violating the court order (and in contempt of court) with said visitation based on the fact that she is NOT to have my kids anywhere near ex-convict and gangsta-boy. (according to the order set @ the hearing before custody was assigned to me)

she is the type of asshole that will "agree" with everything in front of the judge, but will do whatever the fuck she wants to do when she leaves the courtroom. she violated the separation/divorce agreement(s) the moment she stepped foot out of the courthouse and never got in trouble, and she is already violating these custody proceedings and we're not even done with all the hearing for fuck's sake!!!

so what good is "full custody" when she has ANY visitation whatsoever considering her blatant disregard of the judge's orders??!!

*groan* :rolleyes: :shake: :rolleyes:

anyways, thanks for your thoughts bo.

If you and your ex's roles were reversed, she'd have already been granted full custody. I don't know why it is that the law thinks that mothers deserve more slack than fathers, or that they can somehow care for their children any better than the fathers just because they gave birth to them. Fathers are just as much a part of their children as the mothers are.

You're in my thoughts. Best of luck to you.

Hey good luck-I went through a similar situation-mostly abandonment by their Mom-she was wrapped up with a LOSER, that hit my kids. One time when I picked them up, he stepped around the doorway holding a butcher knife to his throat in the background as if to say he was going to kill me. Big Mistake. I stormed in the house after him. He screamed like a girl, dropped the knife, and ran out the back door-through the screen. I got a hand on him ripping his shirt off, but he got away. I chased him up the street-it was 100 degrees out and he was barefoot-burning the living shit out of his feet. I guess he really thought he was a big man and I was going to be scared of a knife. The only smart thing he did that day was to drop it and run. He actually called the cops on ME and said that I tried to kill him-what a dumbshit!!! Yep a real BADASS picking on kids and threatening someone with a big knife.

Long story short, I got FULL custody, the house, everything. You have to be able to stand up for whats right and FIGHT for it at all cost.

Since then, she has straightened up-she had the guy arrested for breaking into her home when she was at work and he went to jail. We share custody depending on our schedules and ALWAYS put the kids first-its not a game-its their life.

A year later, I got a SORRY letter from that asshole-like that could ever make up for what he did-I think it was so he could have peace of mind that I was not waiting around the corner for him. Revenge would have been sooo sweet, but in the long run it would have ruined my life and my kids life-looking back, I am kinda glad he dropped the knife and ran-even though he was a sorry sack of shit-it would be tough to have it on my conscience that I put him out of my misery.

You get your cop friend or hire a PI to follow her and take pictures of her when she is violating these agreements..

Personally I would be more worried about her just nabbing the kids coming from what you have wrote...

you're damn right i'm all about anger with that complete waste of skin.

i tried the "understanding" and "compassionate" route with that sh*tstain for far too long and got burned far too many times. but that's with me... i'm a big boy and can handle that.
what i can't forgive and probably never will is what she has done to my kids. inexcusable, unforgiveable.
if the day ever comes that my children can forgive her for what she has done to them, then i might consider changing my tune. but i have a strong feeling that it isn't going to happen for a LONG time if it ever happens at all.

the simple fact is that she's a friggin addict, and would sell her grandmother's soul to save her own worhtless ass without a second thought... i can't, couldn't and won't trust her.

it was a "shotgun wedding" to begin with. i never loved her, but did love the idea of being a dad and do love my kids. they are the best things to ever happen in my life. for them i am thankful to her... for everything else, she can completely FOAD...
her family is a complete mess as well and are probably linked to organized crime (mafia). this has NOT been an easy road... both of her brothers have threatened my life. sweet stuff eh?
i must admit i do worry from time to time when i put the keys in the ignition every morning to go to work... is today the day i blow up??

cripes... old loki's randy wang done got him in a heap'o'trouble... :shake:

Loki, you are in my thoughts as are your children. It is so wrong that the young must endure such trials may the creator give your family peace and guidance.

Wow, I just read this....

Un-****ing-believable. That is a true nightmare story man. Prayers for your situation and for your kids. I never really read stories about this, but have heard of a few.

It really is a shame in this instance how the courts will bend over backwards to accomodate the mother of the children.

And lastly, I applaud your willingness and patience to stick by the system and see this thing through the legal way. I couldnt imagine how hard it was to not go over there and physically (talking about loser boyfriend) do something about it, but where would that get you? In jail and your kids in her permanent custody...

One thing...maybe a Private Detective to get photos of the kids mother doing drugs is a possibility? Even though it sounds like the time for that possibility has passed with you getting custody, but maybe it could help to minimize her visitation rights :shrug: (just a thought)

Prayers have been sent Loki and Prayers are powerful.

Its amazing what some children have to put up with.

As GoBo suggested, you've already crossed the biggest hurdle. You got custody. It sounds like this recent deal was her first counter attack. Once the investigation is done, and the DDS people figure out that she was full of it, they are going to be much less inclined to listen to her story next time.

Out of curisosity, since you have custody, has she been ordered to pay child support? She should. She is less likely to get frisky if she owes you money.

Funny story....

Good friend of mine was in a similar situation, fought for 5 years to get custody from your ex's twin. Finally got it. During the custody hearing, she made up stories of how she had a great job and the like. His attorney pressed the issue and got a child support order based on all the money she claimed to be making. About a year later, she made some outlandish claims about my friend and filed a motion for change of custody. They go to the courthouse and the judge says "Ms. Smith, hmmm? Sounds familiar. Just a second." Turns out, a few weeks earlier the judge had signed an arrest warrant for the Ex's failure to pay child support. He called down to the Sheriff and they cuffed her in the courtroom.

Her motion for a change in custody was not granted.

Loki, hang in there man, KEEP UP THE FIGHT, you have already established the ground work for terminating the asshole in your life. It's only natural for the asshole to produce some shit along the way by any means she can. These are nothing but trials you need to endure to maintain custody of the kids., the battle has been won.

As long as you continue the course you are on, it's just a matter of time before the asshole runs it's course and has nothing to come back on.

Word of the wise, get you a ledger, log all the activity down, date and time, how they affect youe kids with her actions. She will continue to try to use the kids against you, but most of all, just tell your kids that ( mommy ) asshole has some problems, don't go into details to them about it at this time. They are too young to understand adults ( or an inmature adult asshole ). Always be positive with the kids about her, somehow.

It's commom for adults to ask kids what goes on in the ex's life when split up. Many times most adults use it for an advantage against each other ..... Never fully understanding what it does to a kid on the inside.

Always remember, look at it thru a kids eyes and age , always ask your kids, never drill them and degrade the ex but explain to them why things aren't right in her life and that you wish it could be better for them, but do keep all info logged down, dates and times. This will get you farther in the eyes of the courts since you are being the responsible , mature , parent here.

Best of luck ...........

Good luck bud.

My thoughts and prayers for you and your children.
May God be with you and your kids now, and during your court hearing.

Loki: I know it must be hard seeing your son go off with that your X during visitation. But, think how much better your kids are now that their exposure to her and that environment has been decreased by 10x. That is huge progress and the results are already showing in your kids. Keep fighting the good fight. It will get better. Good luck and God bless.

Damn, Loki. That is without a doubt a nightmare scenario come true. Props to you for not being convicted of double homicide.

Take solace in that you are doing it right against asshole, and she will have many nights of crying herself to sleep over losing her kids when it's all said and done. And although I say that, Phobia is right. You need to pull for her to clean up her act just for the sake of your kids. And if she can't find it within herself to do that, remember two things - 1) Be as strong for your kids as you were to get them out of their hell. They will need all of your support. 2) Karma is real, my friend. And paybacks are a motherfucker.

Good luck man.

Loki-- a complex character, a master of guile and deception.

So who is actually telling the truth here?

i'm retired and have successfully completed rehab and been readmitted to the human race...

turning to your question, there are many substantial advantages to having custody such as control over the kids medical treatment, control over the activities going on around them, etc.

but most of all, they get to live with you and are safe from asshole and her excon boyfriend most of the time...

when your kids get older, they will remember what happened to them when they were forced to live with asshole and friend, and they will love you all the more for rescuing them from a very negative environment...

you should also be aware that judge's rarely order the mother to stay away from the kids, no matter how bad she is, unless of course she gets convicted of some drug related or child abuse crime, it is very unlikely that a judge will cut off all visitation for asshole...

otoh, there will come a point when the judge gets tired of it all and will start enforcing his his orders with comtempt charges and it's possible that the judge could even refuse to schedule any more hearings in the absence of any real evidence to support her position...

regarding asshole having visitation, it's almost impossible to cut off all visitation, but if things don't calm down and the children can testify as to what's been going on whern they visit asshole there's a remote possibility...

when you go to court next time, ask for supervised visitation for asshole (that will put a crimp in her efforts to turn the kids against you and would go a long way towards protecting them from abuse - and they would never have to see assholes butt buddy again)...

btw, i assume you have a lawyer handling this, so none of this is "legal advice, etc. etc.

just friendly suggestions, if you know what i mean...

personally, i'd try for supervised visitation at the next hearing, but obviously i don't have all the facts nor do i know about divorce and custody laws in your state, so i can't really advise you about a pending case...

but from personal experience, i can tell you that it is very very difficult for a father to get full custody, but once granted, it would take a miracle for asshole to get them back...

regarding the judge's order not being followed and/or enforced...

annoying as it is, asshole will be able to file various crap seeking to regain custody for awhile, but at some point the judge will get tired of all the frivolous motions, which won't help her any when it comes to the judge making his decision on what really matters, getting supervised visitations...

hopefully, your lawyer will continue to serve you well (he's a friggin miracle worker already) and at some point he should be able to cut off all but supervised visitatoin...

but that's probably about the best you could hope for...

almost no judge would refuse a mother having supervised visitation with her kids (except under exteme conditions, which you don't have here, afaics)...

you should discuss all this with your lawyer, he's you point man now...

caveat: everything i've said is subject to what facts you're are able to prove in court regarding the need for supervised visitation and subject to, of course, the law in your state...

but pm me if you have any questions that i may be able to help you with...

and good luck to ya, bro...

I feel for you, mostly the children. They are such a precious gift from God. More and more "men" are getting custody of the children. You have done a great job. I have to agree with Phob on this.....One day when/if she does get clean she will hurt worse than you or the kids have. I know that sounds simple, but it is true. You don't have to love her or like her, but one day if she cleans up her act remember that those beautiful children are part of both of you.

Bless you and your children. God is with you!

Hey man, what youve gone through and are going through is a tough battle. My thoughts are with you as Ive been in a similar situation. Remeber that when things are the toughest, you are doing what you can to save those two innocent children and give them the upbringing they deserve. Funny how when you hear something like this football just doesnt matter. GOOD LUCK.

p.s patteu and several others are licensed in kansas, i believe, and baby lee is licensed in missouri, and either of them might be able to make better informed suggestions than i can...

Good luck. You and your kids are in my prayers. I know from personal experience, at least from the kids' perspective, how tough that particular situation is. Thankfully you were/are there to step in to correct the situation. Hang tough, because I know it's a difficult but necessary battle.

I wish your parents had allowed you to play with dry-cleaning bags.

Wow...good luck to you and prayers for you kids.
This says volumes about our legal system.

You and your family are in my prayers, Loki.

In Iowa.......filed for custody in 92......got full custody in March 98.......July 2002 had exes parental rights terminated. Ever thought of doing that??? If you have documentation to back your story...It may be worth looking into. BTW I have 2 years left on the loans I had to take out to pay for all the attorneys....PI's and all the other crap that I got stuck with. I didnt read your whole article just the first few paragraphs were enough for me

Sounds pretty rough, to say the least. You and your kids are in my thoughts. Good luck.

Somehow, I've over-looked this.....

What an awful situation for your kids. Best wishes and Godspeed for a positive outcome. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way.

you and the kids are in my prayers. I'll pray for asshole too, she seems like she might need it most

Good luck Loki, sounds like enough to make one lose their sanity.

Best of luck to you and your kids. I'll never understand why our reeruned legal system is so utterly biased towards women in situations like this, regardless of what sort of wastoid wreckage they are.

Hopefully that sick twat will die of an overdose and end your problems (assuming that the dumbfuck judge wouldn't make your kids move to the cemetary).

:shake:

Over the years you have been a complete azz to me. Regardless, I think you are a decent person and you certainly love your kids very much thus I will keep you and them in my thoughts and hope that your ordeal is over soon. Your kids deserve the best. Let's hope you are allowed to give it to them.

Good luck.

I'd have killed that bitch by now. Good luck to ya.

I don't even have the words......but wanted you to know that my paryers are with you and your children.

Way to bring this thread around to a poor mememe angle. :clap:

And on a side note, I hope everything works out, Loki.

As for getting asshole busted, it doesn't sound to me like you'd have to do anything but call in an anonymous tip while she had your son. I can't imagine that when the cops got there everyone would be clean, sober, and there wouldn't be anything in the house.

strange that you mention the "nabbing" issue. just within the last week, i believe she planned to do that when she came to pick up my son for his "dinner/brainwashing" visit.

the whole scene reminded me of some pervert who would stake out some kiddie playground and try to lure kids into his van with the promise of a box of candy or some sh*t like that.

i mentioned in my initial post that asshole has been unable to see my daughter while the physical abuse/hospitalization was being investigated. well she came over this last wednesday with the intent of luring my daughter into her vehicle with my daughter's pet dog (also mentioned above). now asshole was SUPPOSED to give the dog up a few months ago, but has kept it because she knows it's the ONLY thing my daughter likes about being at her house. my daughter has missed the dog horribly and asshole knows this. she still won't give the dog up because she knows it makes my daughter sad... what an asshole!!
anyways, if i hadn't been home from work sick this last wednesday, she might have gotten my daughter into the car because my daughter really wanted to see her dog. asshole tried to lie to the babysitter last week and told her that my daughter was supposed to go with her from now on... luckily my sitter knows what asshole is all about and called me on the phone and asked me first before letting my daughter go ANYWHERE with asshole. (smart kid!) i can't describe the expression on asshole's face when i came to the door instead of the babysitter. she was NOT expecting me to be there for certain.
anyways, she shows up at the door, her jaw hits the ground because i'm there, but she still decides to go thru with her plan of luring my daughter into her car. everytime my daughter stooped over to pet the dog, asshole would reel the leash in and my daughter would have to step forward. what began in the doorway soon ended up out on the front lawn. once my daughter was down on the front lawn, asshole and asshole's mother both blocked her path back to the door and started grilling her with questions as to why she didn't want to go visit them and why she wouldn't talk to them on the phone and such. they then told my daughter that she had to hug them (now remember... asshole threw my daughter into a wall 2-3 weeks ago putting her in the hospital... asshole's mother saw this happen and LAUGHED at it... again, i have no hard proof of this, but BOTH my kids said they saw this happen, and i am used to my son lying for his mother.) watching this all happen made me boiling angry and i was about to say something to these two harpies when my daughter made a break for it and ran back into the house begging me to get her dog for her.
asshole's reply to this was, "if you want to see your dog, you need to come with us..." my daughter burst into tears, my neighbors started coming to their doorways so asshole and her asshole mother beat a hasty retreat.

good thing i was home.

Good luck man...I'm glad you're fighting this and the kids are doing so much better now.

Are you making a journal of this? Might not be a bad idea. And with your neighbors seeing some of it you might get them to act as witnesses on this situation.

I know it isn't much help, but document everything you can.

yeah, i've run those PI scenarios across a few people and we've all come up with the same conclusions... i'm going to end up whacked because of her family's "associations". both of her brothers have already threatened my life... those two don't really frighten me, but their other family members and associates do!!
if i bust her, she's gunna squeal to save her own ass and people are going to wind up missing...
i have had to walk a very tight line and do everything legal and by the book with this (while she bends or ignores all the fucking rules... classic. pisses me off). it totally SUCKS.

WORD OF ADVICE TO ANYONE CONTEMPLATING MARRIAGE TO AN ITALIAN WOMAN:
check out their family and extended family THOROUGHLY before saying "i do". it may save you a lot of trouble...

child support? no... not YET.
but my attorney is aware of my intentions to GET it. all of the hearings have been "pre-trial" so far. nothing is "set in stone" so to speak. personally, i think this is bullsh*t the way the court drag$ this crap out like this. in my mind this has always been an open and shut case... but it continue$ to drag on with no apparent ending in $ight. even this next hearing on thursday will be considered "pre-trial" .... (WTF??!!)

in the meantime, i'm broke as fuck taking out loans to pay all these friggin court/attorney/GAL co$t$ and my attorney is showing me her new lexus SUV.

mu$t be nice... :shake:

yeah, i keep a journal. been doing it since the divorce. my attorney said that asshole would step on her own dick sooner or later, so just document everything and save all the nasty voicemails on tape.

unfortunately, the kids have been exposed to WAY to much of adult life. they understand a lot more of it than i ever thought possible. the kid's therapist and the GAL both said they know WAY TOO MUCH for kids their age. luckily, both kids are smart enough to not let me know what they know... they know i'd either have a massive coronary or hit the stratosphere like an ICBM...

i really DO try to keep from ragging on asshole in front of them to a minimum. it is VERY hard sometimes... especially when she is having a tantrum with me on the phone in front of them. i try to walk out of the room so they can't hear it, but her grating voice can be heard for miles... i also can't help myself to a few choice phrases after i hang up. only natural, but i DO try. :shrug:
i know that they're part of both of us so i try to respect them in that aspect. but truth be known, my daughter HATES her mother (for good reason) already.
usually, i try and change the subject if the kids are talking about their mother or asking me questions about her. the only time they really get in depth with talking about their mother is when they go to their therapist. pretty much every time before the kids go to speak with their therapist, my daughter will begin drawing pictures or writing things about her mother in the waiting room. you can always count on her to draw in big huge letters "i hate mom" on her pictures. pretty twisted and disturbing stuff...
but OTOH i always dig the pictures the kids draw of me and them together (either at the therapists or at school)... always puts a smile on my face. :) got them pinned up on the fridge and in their rooms.

thanks for your thoughts.

Don't be too quick to blame it on your attorney. It sounds like she has done a damn fine job for you so far. I don't mess with domestic, but I do know that Judges really hate custody hearings and will go to great lengths to have the parties come to some sort of resolution. In Kansas I believe you can get a temporary support order while you are waiting for final disposition. Your jurisdiction may vary.

Also in Kansas, only one party to a conversation needs to know that it is being recorded. Might be worthwhile to have the video camera pointed out the bedroom window next Wednesday night.

Do you know if Ex-Con or Delinquent Son are still under any type of court or post release supervision? If so, may have some suggestions.

first of all, her visitations ARE supposed to be supervised. for some fucked up reason they seem to think that having the visits at her parent's house qualifies as being "supervised". they ALL know that the kids are NOT supposed to be anywhere near ex-con and gangsta-boy because mother-of-asshole has been at most of the hearings, and was certainly at the last hearing when they looked straight at her in the courtroom and said that supervised visitations would take place in their house.
they also looked straight at her when they reiterated that the kids would not be anywhere near ex-con and gangsta-boy during these supervised visits.
this is also written in plain english on the damn court orders we all have copies of.

regardless of such, ex-con and gangsta-boy have BOTH been at the "supervised" visitation house when my son goes for his "supervised" visits. asshole even had the audacity to pick my son up with ex-con and gangsta-boy in the fucking car with her!!! she sent my son back in to tell my mom (who was watching the kids for me while i was working) that it was an old neighbor in the passenger's seat (gangsta-boy was hiding in the back seat). my mom has met that particular person and KNEW it wasn't him. by the time she got the camera, asshole had sped off down the street with my son in the car with the fucking people she isn't supposed to have him around...
cripes... i picked him up from his visit tonight and my daughter saw them peeking out the windows... again. my son also confirmed that they had been there all weekend... again.

WTF??!! :banghead:

yeah... "supervised" visitation. they're ALL thumbing their noses at the court while i follow the rules like a friggin' chump. this SUCKS bo... for real.

thanks for your thoughts...

one question though... what's with the "men" in quotes?? :hmmm:
just curious... :shrug:

hmmm... been trying to thank all who have responded to this thread but apparently it will not let me continue to do so. (that's kinda lame...)
anyways, thanks to all who have responded so far, i'll get to each of you individually when i can.
47

Loki,
Hang in there dude. It sounds like you are so close to getting this resolved. My prayers to your kids and your family.

Prayers and best wishes on a expedited and successful fight and victory. That is indeed a rare thing for those who have the penis disadvantage working against them.

I have told my sons: "Be careful where you stick your dick!" on many occasions.

One of them didn't really pay attention. We may in for a similar deal....ugh....

Man, I can't imagine what you and your kids are going through. I'm praying for you guys.

I'm in.

I have no life experience to equate this to, only can offer my support to continue to do what you're doing for the betterment of the Kids and yourself.

Don't let the hate for her burn you up.

Best of luck.

Sorry, Loke.

We'll pray for you. Good Luck!

She doesn't have any idea, Lok. I wouldn't sweat it.

I won't even pretend to be a lawyer, but wouldn't this be a violation of a court order, or some such?

My ex has violated dozens of court orders. They don't enforce them unless you spend thousands of dollars taking them to court again and again. Family court is an absolute nightmare. Don't ever get divorced not even if your wife decides she's a man. Become gay.

Thoughts and prayers to your kids and you.

Also, anyone that would throw a 7 year old against a wall deserves a two year battle with terminal pancreatic cancer.

God, that's horrible. Hang in there, Loki. I'll be thinking of you and yours.

Good luck and I hope your kids never have to deal with 'asshole' ever again.

Hang in their, hopefully your prayers will be answered. Me and Mine will say a prayer tonight.

Best of luck.....
Here's to hoping there is light at the end of your tunnel.
And here's to hoping here's a light at the end of her tunnel connected to a train. :clap:

Loki, thanks for putting any "problems" I have into complete perspective. You should be sainted for not putting asshole and the entire legal system into the same shallow grave.

This would probably have no legs, but as she is lying about what you do with your kids in order to swing custody to her favor, a libel/slander suit might be in order. It's awful that she is accusing horrendous things against you in order to manipulate the legal system in her favor. Also, I know it's probably prohibited because of patient/client privilege, but I'm wondering if your kids' therapist could petition the court to have CUNextTuesday taken out of the picture entirely.