Hear ye, hear ye! The great treason trial has begun!
 

The Defendant: Mecca

The Judicial Team

Presiding Judge: Rain Man
Chief Legal Clerk: trndobrd
Assistant Legal Clerk: banyon
Chief Bailiff: frazod
Assistant Bailiff: slag02
Court reporter and commentator: Greg63
Court reporter and commentator: SPChief
Courtroom artist: stevieray


Prosecution Team:

Donger - Lead Prosecutor
Hootie - Assistant Prosecutor
GoChiefs - Prosecuting Paralegal

Defense Team:

Redrum_69 - Lead Defender
JBucc, Logical, SNR, JohnnyV13 - Dream Team Legal Defense Team


The jury:

Adept Havelock
JimNasium
Delano
scott free
On the Warpath58
PastorMikH
Chieficus
AZChiefFan
NJChieffan
Metrolike
mmaddog
unlurking

The charges:

Charge 1. Treason in the first degree for predicting a poor season for the Chiefs.

Charge 2. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Geathers hit on Trent Green was innocent and non-fineworthy.

Charge 3. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Rolle face mask was not an act of evil visited upon a Chief by an opposing player.

Charge 4. (Remanded to lower court - no longer applicable.)

Charge 5. General mayhem.



Here is the process. In order to grant the defendant the right to a speedy trial, we will employ a shortened nine-step process.

Step 1. The prosecution and defense will make their opening statements. We will hear from the lead prosecutor and defender and any assistant prosecutors or defenders who wish to speak as well.

Step 2. The prosecution will make its case. They may call any witnesses needed and present any evidence. At this time, the jury may ask questions for clarification purposes only. (This is an enlightened courtroom.)

Step 3. The defense will make its case, and may cross-examine any prosecution witnesses. At this time, the jury may ask questions for clarification purposes only.

Step 4. The prosecution may make a rebuttal, and may cross-examine any defense witnesses. At this time, the jury may ask questions for clarification purposes only.

Step 5. The prosecution will make their closing statement.

Step 6. The defense will make their closing statement.

Step 7. Jury deliberations.

Step 8. The reading of the verdict.

Step 9. If the defendant is guilty of any charges, the court will provide the sentencing.


The trial begins now, with opening statements by legal counsel.

(Banging gavel)

BURN HIM! BURN HIM!

Guilty!

Death Sentance!


The Jury (at least one of them) has spoken!

I quit.

YOU CAN'T QUIT NOW! WE ONLY HAVE 11 MORE JURORS TO CONVINCE!!!


You work the courtroom, I'll work the Jury in the chambers. This conviction is like a Gimme for you!

Right. Where's the fun in that? I nominate GoChiefs be elevated to lead prosecution monkey.

(Banging gavel)

Order in the court! Order in the court!

dodged Jury duty YET AGAIN....

Which answer threw me out of pool....just curious.

I quit.

Well this trial has gone to shit. I give up. Hang the ****er.

ROFL

We the jury are running up a MONUMENTAL room service & porn bill while you, the servants of our fine city, dawdle........

Your honor. He is a voice of reason in a sea of homers. All charges should be dropped!

I refuse to participate in this simulation until the bomber thing is completed.

Say Scott Free, would you mind taking notes today? JimN and I are going to golf for a bit and charge it to our room.

Thanks man! I owe you!

I'm sitting in the courtroom, observing the chaos. Don't be surprised if I jump up yelling obscenities at the defendant from time to time and cry with joy upon hearing the sentence.

To sweeten the pot, the attorney who wins the case may specify my avatar for a period of two weeks after the case.

OK, I'm taking the case. Here's my opening statement:

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury:

Mecca is stupid. I think you'll all agree with me on this point. We're here today to determine just how stupid he really is, and the penalties for such stupidity. Thankyou.

The court thanks gochiefs for his opening statement.

And for the jury's convenience, please find a note pad and paper in the cupholder in front of you.

:eek:

No prob Pastor, i'll charge my fee for that to the room as well.

When he bangs that goddamn thing, y'all better STFU. Don't make me go Frigidaire on your asses. :grr:

Garcia with the amicus brief from the ACLU.

Is the defense team in the loo?

:mad:

Don't forget he also left us all in Singapore in the offseason odyssey.

A word from an assisting defense attorney:

When I was five years old I went to go see Mt. Rushmore with my family. It was never much to me since my parents wouldn't let me take pictures or anything. Whenever I saw pictures of that vacation, I could never appreciate them for what they were... not MY pictures. For once I wanted a part in the historiography of our family's time together, especially on vacation. I worked enough jobs around the house for my dad to earn some money, and really enough to buy a camera and some film, but they my parents would never allow it because my grandparents always gave us cameras on our 10th birthday and I didn't want to go ahead and buy something that would be immediately taken away from me. So I was bitter. Very bitter. Especially when I was supposed to be enjoying family vacations and other happy moments. When I was eight years old, two years away from that magic age, I went swimming in a pool and was sitting on top one of those giant floating crocodiles that you can put like, 4 or 5 people on. I was laughing and having a good time until I wanted to get off. I stood up and jumped off, in the process flipping the entire crocodile with everyone on it. It rolled over and hit me on the head as I was coming out of the water. I was dazed for several seconds until I realized I couldn't breathe, and the pain in my head was immense. I tried swimming a quick two feet, but I had actually turned myself around and was swimming underwater the long ways against the crocodile. I kept going and going thinking this was still the short way but it wasn't. I was starting to panic. I tried swimming up and pushing the crocodile out of the water, but it was made out of this hard material. It was too heavy for me. Also going through my head while struggling to get out from under the crocodile was why it had been around 20 seconds and no one had bothered to notice that I still hadn't come up out of the water. Everyone had moved off and was doing their own thing, no doubt still pissed that I had knocked them off the crocodile. I couldn't believe their lack of sympathy for my own life. They weren't concerned that I hadn't yet found a way to swim under the crocodile and breathe, a simple task in itself, but yet it still was not accomplished. I imagined even if I found myself swimming up from under it, they would chew me out for what? Having done nothing wrong? No, because I ruined peoples' fun. This drew me back to getting a camera. I really, really, really wanted a camera at age 5 at that specific moment in the vacation and I was denied. I was sick of being a little kid. For that moment on, I decided I was going to quit letting people push me around. I grabbed the tail of the crocodile and with all my strength I shoved it aside, knocking more people off and I finally arose from under the water. Nobody even seemed to notice that I was a dick, or was trying to act like one. I felt so ignored. If only I had had a camera, I wouldn't feel like this at age 8, so young, and so impressionable. This would affect my personality and being for the rest of my life. I transformed into a bright, happy kid into an assholish, cynical prick. I began to see that if I could do something to maybe ruin peoples lives... like get criminals out of bad deeds they had committed, I could satisfy my need to crush other peoples' hopes all because I couldn't escape from that crocodile's underside. Needless to say, I did not go to law school at all. It bored me. I became a musician. But I always had my sights set on it. Well, now it is my time to achieve my love of hurting people by being a dickheaded defense attourney. That is why I am here, after all. Because of a camera and a crocodile. On the bright side, though, I now have my own camera. In fact, I own several. They're alright. Photography isn't a strong suit of mine but I enjoy capturing special moments... sunsets and scenery and stuff like that. Good views, know what I'm saying? And I have yet to see another one of those ****ing crocodiles.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your time. Mecca is not guilty. God bless.

When's lunch?

Good thing I brought my PSP!

DAAAYYUUMMM, thats a heartbreaker bro'...so how many people are buried under your house??? If none then i commend you.

I was hoping people had forgotten about that.

Yeah, that was total BS. Next offseason we're touring the solar system, Singapore be damned!

The court thanks Mr. SNR, Esq., for his opening statement. Again, the jury will note that a note pad and paper have been provided for your convenience, along with a package of PEZ (candy only, no dispenser).

WTF? I had a meticulous and devasting opening statement planned and ready to paste.

It was incontravertable.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury:

We, the prosecution, submit that Mecca is really stupid. As evidence, we present exhibit A:

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/searc...earchid=136662

The prosecution calls MERRIL HOGE to the stand.

What good is PEZ with no dispenser? It's not like the candy tastes good by itself. It's almost as bad as candy corn.

The court awaits your opening statement. All lead and assistant attorneys are invited to make opening statements. Keep in mind, though, that we do have certain minimum standards.

Incontrovertable?

I, Merril Hoge, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

Mister Hoge, what is your profession?

I'm an expert ESPN NFL Studio Analyst.

LIAR!

I see. As part of your profession, what level of knowledge concerning the national football league are you required to possess?

YOUR HONOR! The court is badgering my witness!

Heh. I didn't think that looked right. It's 'incontrovertible.'

I always misspell that, and I can't 'colloquialism' for the life of me.

Very little, apparently.

I'm required to have Level Sextillion knowledge, otherwise known as supreme omnipotent knowledge. Basically, I'm really smart.

No one told me there would be Pez.

I see. Mr. Hoge, before you worked for ESPN, you were a player in the NFL, is that right?

That's correct. I was a great player. Fantastic.

You were the last of the white guy 1000 yard backs Hoggie :clap:

I'll allow it.

During your playing career, how many concussions did you sustain?

I fucking hate badgers. They're evil. Everyone thinks they are so cute, but they are nasty creatures.

Overruled. That's hearsay.

Alot. Like, 27? I'm not sure. It's hazy. But quite a few, to be sure.

I see. So, as a veteran concussionee, how often would you say that concussions are the result of a definite cheap shot?

It depends. How long am I out?

Oh, let's say, just a few minutes. No longer.

If I was knocked out because of a concussion for a few minutes, I'd say it was definitely a cheap shot. Anyone who suffered a similar side effect was clearly the victim of a cold, heartless, dirty, rat-bastard, cheap shot.

OBJECTION! The prosecuting attourney has been dreaming of this moment for Huard ever since the Chiefs signed him. That is completely unfair!

I've never had a reason to use that word, much less spell it.

I don't run into many people that use colloquial expressions, and there isn't much that has colloquial look or feel to it out here on the central coast of Cal.

I live in a cookie cutter environment.

Overruled. Mr. Hoge is a registered expert on concussions.

Please note Mr. Hoge's testimony in the record on this matter.

The prosecution presents exhibit B, a photograph of Trent Green strapped to a gurney:

http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/724...060910bii9.jpg

Mr. Hoge, the man in this photo is the victim of a concussion. Given the gurney and the restraints, would you say this concussion was the result of a cheap shot, given your extensive experience in these matters?

I forget, is there any press in the court room?

This is basically out of line as you take your personal view and put it upon everything and take it to another level........You can be knocked out on something that is not a cheapshot.......you should probably take time to be more precise with your theory otherwise you are just blanketing numerous situations with your comment.

Absolutely. I'd say he was definitely the victim of a nasty cheap shot.

OBJECTION! Your honor my witness is NOT ON TRIAL!!!

No further questions your honor.

Your witness, defense team.

Let's not point out that guys get taken out of games on stretchers as precautionary matters quite often making things look worse than they are.......

It's obviously a lonely existance.......

We have two court reporters and, as of today, a courtroom artist.

You kicked me off the jury and now your work is done?
http://www.forumspile.com/Ban-Roman.jpg

Yes..a mod knows!!!! :)

No comments from the gallery. We must - WHOA! This is the defendant. Perhaps one of the defense attorneys would like to present Mr. Mecca as a witness and put him on the stand?

Would a member of the defense team like to cross-examine Mr. Hoge?

I should just defend myself........as it appears this defense team is really star studded.......

Hell I could ask him questions........