Rev. Ted Haggard "cured" of his homosexuality
 

This is too funny...

http://www.denverpost.com/ci_5164921

Haggard says he's not gay
By Eric Gorski
Denver Post Staff Writer
Denver Post
Article Last Updated:

The Rev. Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is "completely heterosexual" and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser.

That is according to one of the disgraced pastor's overseers, who on Monday revealed new details about where Haggard has been and where he is headed.

The Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur also said the four-man oversight board strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work instead of Christian ministry if Haggard and his wife follow through on plans to earn master's degrees in psychology.

Haggard broke a three-month silence in e-mails over the weekend to select members of his former church. New Life Church interim senior pastor Ross Parsley forwarded Haggard's message to the wider church body Monday.

In the message, Haggard revealed that he and his wife, Gayle, intend to leave Colorado Springs and pursue master's degrees through online courses.

Haggard mentioned Missouri and Iowa as possible destinations. Another oversight board member, the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town, and the Haggards agreed.

"This is a good place for Ted," Ware said. "It's hard to heal in Colorado Springs right now. It's like an open wound. He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed."

Sex-addiction program

Haggard, 50, resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and was fired from the church he built from nothing into a 14,000-member congregation after a former male prostitute in Denver alleged a three-year cash-for-sex relationship.

Haggard admitted to "sexual immorality" and a long battle against feelings contrary to his beliefs. He admitted buying methamphetamine but said he never used it. Haggard did not respond to interview requests.

Among other things, the overseers urged Haggard to enter a 12-step program for sexual addiction, Ware said.

Ralph said three weeks of counseling at an undisclosed Arizona treatment center helped Haggard immensely and left Haggard sure of one thing.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting- out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Why Haggard chose to act out in that manner is something Haggard and his advisers are trying to discern, Ralph said.

In investigating Haggard's assertion that his extramarital sexual contact was limited to former male escort Mike Jones, the board talked to people close to Haggard and found no evidence contradicting him, Ralph said.

"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days, and it hasn't happened."

Steering Haggard away from a return to ministry was based, in part, on Haggard's high profile, Ralph said. He cited biblical passages about holding influential figures to a higher standard.

"Nobody is saying he can't go back into ministry," Ralph said. "Somewhere down the road, that could very well happen, and that would be wonderful."

Counseling continues

Haggard is being asked to join a church wherever the couple moves and continue the Christian counseling he receives twice a week, Ralph said.

The oversight board that includes Ralph is focusing on New Life Church's future but continues to counsel Haggard.

What has been termed Haggard's "restoration" is being overseen by another panel: H.B. London, who runs a Focus on the Family ministry to pastors, and megachurch pastors Tommy Barnett and Jack Hayford.

London said he was not surprised Haggard was considering the psychological field.

"Many of us that go into the healing, helping professions do so out of some sort of dysfunction or traumatic event in our lives, and we want to do what we can to help other people avoid what we've gone through," he said. "He is certainly gifted and intelligent and has an intuitive side to him. And he has life experience. Those are good credentials."

Staff writer Eric Gorski can be reached at 303-954-1698 or egorski@denverpost.com

If he could actually have a say over his homosexuality, none of this would've happened in the first place.

He'll come back in six months and the zealot fuqtards will be falling all over themselves to send him their money.

Which he'll promptly spend on a hopefully-more-discreet male prostitute.

You gotta love televangelists. Barnum certainly would. :shake:

My main beef with this guy, and the reason I don't believe he's genuinely repentant, is that he continues to claim he never used meth. I'm just not buying it.

If you need three weeks of intensive counseling to convince yourself you're not gay...... well... you're probably gay....


And who buys meth and doesn't use it....?

Nor should ya. The guy lied and was denying everything at one point.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting- out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."



That's funny stuff right there. Sex with a male prostitute and scoring some meth = "acting-out".

LMAO

What a ****ing joke this guy is.

Not gay? The hell.

If you ****ed one dog in highschool you're a dog ****er your whole life, same principle with cock sucking I figure.

Iowa can have him.

After three weeks of intensive counseling, I am pleased to say that I no longer need glasses. I'm just going to squint a lot more.

ROFL

Now, if only the meth were so easy to kick.

Holy shit, that's perfect.

Did Believer get banned? I figured he would have some insight to this?

By the way, Ted Haggard is awesome. Watching a video in class that heavily featured him was a wonderful experience, if only because it was so damn easy to MST3k my way through it.

Every time he pops up in a documentary or something, I just laugh and laugh and laugh. Seeing his face alone is enough to make me happy.

I mean, come on:

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MOpMsuz_uK4"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MOpMsuz_uK4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

I never inhaled a penis..at least not on American soil....

Yeah, but the Crest toothpaste users aren't allowed to marry.

nice :D

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING. IT'S LIKE A DISABILITY???? PHOBE!!!

[/sarcasm]

I know you were sarcastic, but I think he was saying that a person has about as much control over being gay as they do over their eyesight. Oh, Kevin was also admitting he was gay, and his real name is Mike Jones. You had to read closely to catch that one, though.

Now if they can just cure him from being a self righteous RRWNJ eediot. Now THAT would be impressive... :hmmm:

Wow. If that clinic can cure that flamer in three weeks....anyone can be "cured".

Who?

MIKE JONES

I know. I don't agree but I wasn't going down that path, I was just predicting that someone might come into the thread all miffed about it.

Just die already would ya?

Or drug attiction, or alcoholism, or eating 12 big macs per day.

No.

"I'm completely cured. Now, I just do sensual massage"

So if you are Gay by nature, are you Bi-Sexual by nature? I was under the impressions the "Scientific" explanation was because of the sex of the brain, so what sex of the brain are Bi's?

I believe that any form of attraction is a matter of nurture, not nature. It just isn't a conscious decision. What you experience growing up is what shapes the things you're attracted in. That goes for straight people and gay people.

From what I have read, men aren't bi-sexual. In lab experiments, they are turned on by either gay porn or straight porn but not both....women, on the other hand, are turned on by both...

Here's the story from the AP. He's thinking about moving to Iowa or Missouri. Oh happy happy, joy joy...

Haggard now "completely heterosexual"

Tue Feb 6, 9:53 AM ET

One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened."

(EDITORIAL TRANSLATION: "We know he bought sex (and meth) from one male prostitute multiple times, but since no one has proven that he did not boof multiple male prostitutes, Ted is totally straight.")

Haggard resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals last year after allegations of sexual misconduct surfaced. He was also forced out from the 14,000 New Life Church that he founded years ago in his basement after Jones alleged Haggard paid him for sex and sometimes used methamphetamine when they were together. Haggard, who is married, has publicly admitted to "sexual immorality."

Haggard said in an e-mail Sunday, his first communication in three months to church members, that he and his wife, Gayle, plan to pursue master's degrees in psychology. The e-mail said the family hasn't decided where to move but that they were considering Missouri and Iowa.

Another oversight board member, the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town and the Haggards agreed.

"This is a good place for Ted," Ware said. "It's hard to heal in Colorado Springs right now. It's like an open wound. He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed."

It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work.

Hey somebody remembered that, NICE!!! Rep

I think men are just turned on at any thought of sex getting ready to happen.

Not between two guys.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34118

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/D0apCoMnLkE"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/D0apCoMnLkE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

That reminds me of Joe Rogans basement comedy routine. I wish I could find that on the web.

God, I miss Mr Show.


"I am King Shit of **** Mountain!!!"

I comin' out............
 

I just wish I new how to quit Big Daddy............

DUDE!!! . . . AS GOD AS MY WITNESS..........THAT IS A GREAT ASS.........I BET I CAN'T EVEN STICK .....

Doesn't Stern play that from time to time.

Used to, think he stopped when Rogan went on O&A and slammed Him.

Did you just capitalize "him" when talking about Stern? LOL.

Friggen classic. I can't believe I haven't found a download for that.

Seriously, though. I hadn't heard of Rogan ripping Stern. What did he say about him?

Here's the study. I think I read about this last year in Savage Love.

Men, they say, are different. The current study, reported in the current issue of Psychological Science, enrolled 30 heterosexual men, 33 bisexual men, and 38 homosexual men. Nine of the heterosexual men, 11 of the bisexual men, and 13 of the homosexual men did not become genitally aroused by the videos and were dropped from the final analysis.

The men viewed an 11-minute nonsexual film, followed by several two-minute sexual films and another neutral film. The sex films depicted either men having sex with men or women having sex with women.

The men indicated how aroused they felt by moving a lever up or back. Their genital arousal was measured by an elastic device attached to their penises.

Homosexual men said they were aroused by the male/male porn but not the female/female porn. So did their genital measurements. Heterosexual men said they were aroused by the female/female porn - and their genital measurements agreed.

Bisexual men said they were turned on by both sets of videos -- but their genitals responded to one or the other, not to both.

"The majority of bisexual men got aroused to men and only to men," Rieger says. "All those who didn't look like gay men looked like heterosexual men: They got aroused to women. This study fits the picture that ... men are very target specific. They have an object of their sexual desire and go for that. ... The pattern is that they have this object specificity -- it does not change."

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/511828

I thought of this sketch immediately also. ROFL

IN HIS NAME WE PRAY

http://www.uploadhouse.com/uploads/40534ted.jpg

Here comes the special!