So, it's not my MOST embarrassing moment....
 

but it's close.

My tomato plants are producing heavily and I'm eating 3-5 nice sized fruit per day. It had some unanticipated results at my mother's birthday dinner this evening.

I busted a little squeaky fart and became immediately horrified.
It was pretty obvious to most everybody at the table what misfortune had befallen me at that point. For the rest, they realized as I was walking to the little boy's room.

Fortunately, this dinner took place at my parents' home so I was able to swipe a pair of my old man's shorts.

I would not advise eating that many tomatoes, folks.

Maybe I should have taken this shart story to my grave?

ya sharted huh?

NICE!

Ugh, the walk of shame. Brutal. :shake:

We haven't had a good poop thread in a while.

shit happens

happens to everyone if you eat to much fruit. lol

did they make fun of you though? Them are the best laughs at misfortunes like that.

too bad you weren't in the Hot Tub.....

They had a good laugh about it at my expense. I'm guessing it will be the subject of much abuse at family events in the future as well.

LMAO you beat me to it.

wow...too much information

no too much information would have been if he said he liked doing it on womens chests after sex

Damn that is a truly gross thought.

LMAO There's a thread. Make the thought a reality. Slow mo. Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt. ROFL

Isn't that a paraphrase from "Not Another Teen Movie?"

unfortunately. That damn thing has been on all weekend and my dad loves it. Probably from all the T and A.

dad: get down here it's the girl from earl!

Demon:yeah i know dad jamie pressley

DAD IT'S BILLY BOB FROM VARSITY BLUES

demon: I know dad that is the point

Demondad THIS IS LIKE SHE'S ALL THAT STARING RACHAEL COOK

Demon: I KNOW ....sadley I know

When I read the thread title, I knew it would have something to do with your farts. ROFL

Serves ya right. ROFL

wow

Why were u farting at the dinner table to begin with ?

Because he is teh Phobia and all should be honored to experience his farts.

Good Lord, dude. I can't imagine a grown person crapping their pants.

What is this.... some kind of gochiefs interview?

I'm guessing you're not familiar with home grown tomatoes.

As far as I'm concerned, you deserved to get some wetness for farting at the table.

At least it wasn't at your in-laws...

Damn, you are posting late tonight. Though rarely lately.

I will never eat tomatoes again.

That shit happens to everyone. The runs are no joke. gotta jsut put the buttcheek squeeze. lol

I spent the first 18 years of my life on a farm in remote Kansas. I'm familiar with home grown everything, including tomatoes.

I dnt live on a farm, but my neighbors are labor contractors, so i been around all the farm stuff as a teenager. I also always had a garden growing up. Moms' love fresh veggies.

Wait, he hasn't told us his most embarrassing moment yet...

I guess I am wondering why anyone would eat 5 tomatos in one day?

Better out than in, I always say.

http://re3.mm-a1.yimg.com/image/2176280248

Maybe because you are a sick, depraved, tomato-eatin mofo?

Phil is sloooooooowly becoming middle-aged.

i have a 8 year old cousin that eats tomatoes like they are grapes. He freaking loves them.

master why hast thou forsaken me?

Master, I thought I was special.

But what of his poop projectiles, Master?

Solanaceaeflatuphobia: fear of tomato farts.

It's NOT your most embarassing moment? I'm afraid to ask what might be. :eek:

The time they served tomato salad, tomato bisque, and tomato-stuffed chicken at the White Tuxedo Ball?

They will clean you out... huh

I thought that, perhaps, it was that time Mr. Phobia entered the 44th Annual Burgess Mammoth Wonder Eating Contest and was disqualified for interfering with the competitors' appetites.

FAX

Actually, since it's Solanaceaeflatuphobia Wouldn't it just be the formal latin version of Phil's tomato sharts?

Whats interesting is the manner one must walk so as not to compound the problem.

I always thought that was just the fear of being near phobia when he's eating tomatoes.

Wouldn't that be Solanaceaeflatuphobiaphobia?

I'm really confused.

I did that in 6th grade gym class once (not really because of tomatoes though...I didn't want to stop playing dodgeball)...had to throw away my underroos.

But doing it at the family table...niiiiiiiiice.http://www.futuretg.com/FTOSX/2004/img/s_klumps.png

Never trust a fart after you reach 40 years old.

I'd advise your guests from now to stay clear of the home-made ketchup....

What color was it ?

:hmmm: sick just sick.

Rhonda reports the racing stripes were a shade of rust. Sorta brownish red.

(Ron White voice) they call me tomater salad.

shlippitty shlollpoty shlillpitty shlooooooop. Phil can't tell a fart from a poop.

You've never had the shits/diahrrea then...

Tomatoes, tomatoes, they're good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you shart...

I'm eating cheese today. It's just a coincidence though. I've had 100% dry farts since the incident last night.

FWIW, I can't believe this crappy thread is still on the front page.

Phobia gives a shit at least.

Phobia has a fart with a lump in it and it goes 60 replies. He's a celebrity!!

Has there been a goatse joke yet?

I'll check back in a few minutes.

oh oh speaking of tomatoes Just off to eat one with cucumbers and onions...yummy.......yup cleans ya out indeed..ROFL

Diarrhea
 

some people think it's gross
but it's really nice on toast

diarrhea
 

some people think it's funny
but it's really green and runny

diarrhea
 

you're on your way home
and your pants are full of foam

diarrhea
 

you're sliding into first
and you feel something burst

diarrhea
 

you're climbing up a ladder
and you're feeling something splatter

diarrhea
 

you're at your mother's party
and the tomatoes make you farty

el borracho you silly goose

diarrhea
 

you're at your parents' table
and your sphincter is unstable

diarrhea
 

There's guests that you just met
and your pants are getting wet

running down the hall
and brown spots hit the wall

diarrhea
 

you couldn't stop the squirt
so you borrowed your dad's shirt

When you're with the ones you love
and you feel that hot butt mud

diarrhea

diarrhea
 

you're trying to be sneaky
but instead you just got leaky

"Damn, the monkey was supposed to come flying out of my ass, not just toss shit around.

Damn, Phob.

That is something you take to the grave.

try again...
 

:shake: "Mud" and "love" do not rhyme.

Ahhh. The great Morph lives! Nice quote too.