What Is The Worst Thing You've Ever Done
 

to your mother-in-law? I have plans for later this evening. Should be epic. The harpy is terrified of mice, so I bought six of the little fuckers and I intend to release them in "her suite" later on while she takes her two hour post-dinner "shower."

How about you? Please do share.

Thanks.

I can't top that one.

It's actually rather benign, but she claims to have a "bad heart," so I'll have my fingers crossed.

Explained to her that Bob Dole played by her rules when he was in HER home, so she could stay in a ****ing hotel if she didn't feel compelled to return the courtesy.

So she stayed in a hotel.

Donger, do you rent your services out for harpy M-I-L's?

Where's the fun in that?

No.

Is your Mother in Law a Bronco fan?

The fun was in being able to get home from work at 1am and not be awakened by some rude bitch who crawled out of bed at 5am on Saturday morning and sang at the top of her ****ing lungs for 2 hours.

You'd probably have to ask her. I've always been pretty respectful, I believe.

I despised my last MIL but still treated her with respect.

What (and why) did she sing?

I must have had the only M-I-L that would be considered the best M-I-L that anyone could have.

I've heard quite a few of the horror stories of other M-I-L's and some of them sound pretty bad.

Hope you get the inheritance that you want from the harpy one.

I married her daughter.


I'm lucky, my inlaws are good folks.

Bob Dole doesn't remember any specific tunes. She was just one of those annoyingly cheerful morning people who arose at 5am and thought anyone who didn't was a lazy piece of shit. Which completely ignored tha fact that the lazy piece of shit paid for the house she was invading and was working well after she was drooling on the guest pillows.

the worst thing I ever done was just being alive,woman hated me and most every other man in this world as well.

That is rather bad. My MiL is the same way, in fact. Except she hums. I'm an early riser myself, so we have been sharing the mornings together. I've learned that she absolutely abhors silence.

So did you do it?

D

x-MIL....my best move. got outta that F'Up family

I just keep mine full of gin - then we get along fine.

Did I release the vermin? If so, no, not yet. It isn't its bathing time yet.

She actually gets worse if she has anything to drink.

Anybody think it's weird that Donger knows his MIL's bathing schedule?

My MIL live in Barbados. I never see her, so am not forced to resort to advanced Bwana abuse. It works out well.

instead of crossing your fingers, just think "boom"

The Harpy, LMAO

Everyone in the house knows it. She announces it like its some kind of fucking momentous event. Then, after she's done, she comes downstairs and says, "You need a larger hot water heater. It got lukewarm towards the end." After explaining that most normal people don't shower for two fucking hours that the house has two 40 gallon hot water heaters, she replies with "Well! There must be something wrong with them then!"

At that point, I usually go outside and shovel snow for a while. I actually shoveled my street last night.

I just avoid all contact

Donger, if you have spare time feel free to come on out to Gardner and do my driveway :thumb:

Thats not bad at all. Thats just funny. :)

I think he's got the hots for her and is easing his guilt for watching her shower..

MILK, my azz.

Same here. And it's a good thing I get along with my MIL, because I have no doubt she'll live FOREVER. Her mother is in her mid-90s, is completely self-reliant and in perfect health, and only recently stopped bowling and driving. Hell, she might outlive me.

The person who would have had the MIL from hell is my wife, but she gets a pass because my mom's been dead for 25 years. My mom would have tormented the crap out of her.

Never really got to know either of my in-laws. MIL was older, had been in a severe car accident in her 50's (one other family member killed in the accident) and it crippled her up, and advanced her mental health problems (dementia). FIL had multiple strokes by the time I met my wife, and he couldn't speak. The only real thing they conveyed was their blessing, when my MIL had about 15 minutes of clarity after we got engaged. To be honest, those 15 minutes were an absolute miracle - I'm talkin' Twilight Zone type stuff.

That is an emotion that I unfortunately do not possess. Although, she is pretty hot for a 60+ year old.

:spock:

What? She is. She looks a lot like Sophia Loren.

Still, to say it.... dude, that's just wrong.

the guilt?

It's just a fact. Don't worry; I'm not going to try and get in her knickers or anything.

Correct.

Knickers, LMAO.

Heh. Sometimes I forget you're English, then you post something like that.

For the remainder of the day, I'll read all of your posts hearing the GEICO lizard's voice in my head. :D

Sorry about that. I spent a few hours with my folks yesterday and I tend to revert when I'm around them. My kids think it's hilarious. When my accent is on, however, I don't sound like that gecko.

i think i get along w/my mil pretty well...the old bat gets under my wifes skin worse than she does mine.
sec

My parents in law are pretty cool. I get along with them fairly well....(so far)

You should seriously lay the law down with your mother in law. Tell that there's no reason for her to occupy the goddamn shower for two hours.

Unless she drowns.

Meh. I pick my battles with her. I did turn up the water heaters to maximum temperature earlier, so I might be responsible for scalding her later. Or, perhaps she's correct, and they just "have something wrong with them" and they got really hot all by themselves.

I'd put a ****ing timer on the things. No longer than 45 goddamn minutes.

I was joking with my FiL that I thought I could hear a vibrator going last night while she was in there. My wife almost had a coronary.

I'd fill the shower head with blue dye, like in "Private Benjamin".

Where are those pictures of your wife you promised me?

I don't recall making any such promise.

Oh yeah. What do you want to see?

Your wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife.

You've already seen a picture of her.

I'll see if I can find an appropriate picture. What do you offer in trade?

Buckets of sperm.

I'm somewhat of a quality over quantity chap, so I'm afraid I must refuse your tender.

lol.
Awesome thread. A++
would read again

I'm the same way when I'm around my family; except instead of sounding English, I sound like a redneck. :D

My relationship with my MIL is pretty good...I've only had to spend about 15 minutes around her in the past year and a half so things are cool. :) My wifey isn't so happy with the (non)visiting arrangements though. I don't hate my MIL, I just like her more when I don't see her or talk to her.

Your mother in law or my mother in law?

The worst thing most of us did to our MIL's is marry their daughters. Somehow, that's worth the Hell we've paid. Just wait, until we become the in-laws that are outlaws.

You people need to learn the fine art of Fake Sleeping...

Generally speaking, whenever I threaten to put my MIL to sleep it's not INTENDED to be "fake" sleep. ;)

Hahhahaha! "You are an evil, EVIL young man!!!"

Turning up the water temperature = $0.00 (sort of)
Six white, non-blind mice = $3.99
MiL calling me the anti-Christ = well, you know

Awesome!

I once posted pics of homo hippie Jews fudge-packing from "MySpace" accounts on a Neo-Nazi web site, and....alas...I included real names and addresses. Please, forgive me Jesus.

Ummmmm....Donger, WTF?

KCJohnny is going to hit the roof.

"Oh, gee whiz, I'm not.. uhwatchin' television, Dad, I'm just... layin' around jackin' it."

What Is The Worst Thing You've Ever Done To Your Mother-In-Law?
 

Nothing- moms love me!/ Redrum 69

started cheering for the lions

The worst thing I've ever done to my mother-in-law?

I've tried never to do anything to her except to try to treat her as I do my own mother. My MIL is a rare gem and her own family has handed her more meaningless crap to deal with than she ever deserved.

I don't know. Maybe she deserved it because she never found a way to tell them, "That's you're own meaningless crap. It's not mine. Deal with it yourself and quit bothering me with it."

Anyway, we'll be driving the family 700 miles to see her and the rest of the family tomorrow. It'll be good to get there and help her out.

Sorry, Donger. You should have gotten someone like my MIL.

So she's a MILILF?

I hope you thought to get both male and female mice. You can scare her for a looong time.