Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.
 

Official Opening Day Baseball Quote Thread!!!!

so which promising player from the farm team Royals will get traded this year?

Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

This is a Chiefs board, stop talking baseball.

:clap:

Harry: That's all we got? One goddamn hit?

Assistant: You can't say godddamn on the radio!

Harry: Doesn't matter, no one is listening anyway.

Nice Velocity.

Dynamite drop in, Monte! Those broadcasting classes are really paying off!

This guy threw at his own son in a father-son game.

George got the shit booed outta him.

Harry: Monty, anything to add?

Monty: Ummm... no.

Harry: He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!

George Brett?

"I said, `How do you get these things?'" Brett said. "He said, `There's a lot of different ways you can get it. Have you been under any stress this year?' It was like, `Yeah, I've had a lot of stress.' Me and Mickey kind of looked at each other and started giggling.

"Then he asked me about my diet, and I said, `Well, I'm 27 years old and single. What's that tell you? I like Mexican food. I like margaritas and I like beer and cheeseburgers.' He said, `Well, it could be a combination of both -- stress and diet.' I said, `Well, I'm a perfect candidate for that then.'"

Hey! It's Enrico Palazzo!

Sounded like it.

...what so prou-ou-ou-oudly we hailed, at the twi-light's last gle-e-aming. Whose bright stripes and broad stars, throught the perilous night, o'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming. And the rocket's...red glare! Lots of bombs in the air, gave proof through the night, that we still had our flag. Oh does that star spangled banner wave o-o-o-over all we see, for the h-o-o-ome of the land, and the land...of the...FREE!

"Have you ever thrown a ball 100 miles an hour? Everything hurts. Even your ass hurts. I see pictures of my face and say, 'Holy shit', but that's the strain you feel when you throw. I had one of those faces you look at it, man, and say, 'Man he's an ass-hole.' Could be, depends on if you pissed me off or not."

Bob Gibson

"I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture."

Bob Uecker

You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat.

"One time, I got pulled over at four a.m. I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies."

Bob Eucker :)

"I'm sick of baseball..."

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/73375...0A659CEC4C8CB6

How's your wife and my kids?

Eddie Harris: You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.
Roger Dorn: Shit, Harris.
Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

I'm filing on monday. I could use the extra payday.

Oh, and they're UGLY...:)

"And here's Cerrano, returning to baseball after taking some time off to search for... whatever the hell it was he lost. Maybe his mind!"

ROFL

All sports could use more of this.

"One of the things that's helped George Brett become such a great player is that he never worried about politics and all that stuff that goes on around a team. George was always more interested in looking for a pitch to hit hard than playing politics or talking about management." - Hal McRae

That ball wouldn't have been out of some parks.

Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, your team down a run and you've got the chance to be the hero on national television... if you don't blow it. Saw your wife last night. Great little dancer. That guy she was with? I'm sure he's a close personal friend, but tell me, what was he doing with her panties on his head? Uh-oh, Rexie, I don't think this one's got the distance.

Here's a fly ball hit to right. Easy play for Cerrano, under it now, and makes the catch.... no, that ball is off his glove and outta here! So credit Cerrano with an RBI, and that play could be a finalist in the Trojan-Enz Boner of the Week Award!