Hamas gets jumped
 

So I'm out at this bar celebrating my bday, and I'm in a bathroom. Some Chinese whore walks in and says "what I'm I?" and I say "A Chinwoman?"...So to retaliate, the rat bitch throws a beer in my face ten minutes later.

Thus, later I go outside, where said ****ing c*nt whore is, and throw an entire ****ing beer in her face. I proceed to get jumped by 10 guys, who act like I'm the mother****er who started the fight, unknowing of the fact that some c*nt tossed a beer in my face because I got fucking doused by some rat whore.

Big ****ing deal, they're all c*nts in the end.

Whaaa? Some girl walks into a restroom and asks, "What am I?"

I'm guessing there's more to the story.

I got jumped once when I was riding my moped home. They walked out to the middle of the intersection, it was like 2 A.M., I tried going right by but they just grabed me and told me to give them the moped.. I told them to **** off and got punched in the face, then some dude came outside and yelled Hey! and they took off running. They were older than me too, basterds.

Just be lucky she didn't stab you.



Or cut your head off.

So you got your ass kicked, because of some drunk bitch with self image issues, nice!!!!!!!!!!

ROFL

No, that's the whole story, other than the fact that her boyfriend was trying to protect her and I told her that I'd kill him and put her in an internment camp in a straight up brawl.

HA!

You're me 10 years ago.

I would've said, "Some chick that likes to watch a guy piss?"

:shrug:

Actually, I didn't, I got pushed into a car by a bunch of bouncers who are like "it isn't worth it..."

Were they, like... ninjas? Did they pull some of that crazy martial arts stuff?

And hey, Happy birthday, by the way.

It's bullshit that someone starts a fight and then won't finish it because they're a fuckung coward.

BTW...Happy Birthday!

Oh, and that chick who walked into the bathroom was my birthday gift for you.

Way to ***** it up. Now, I'm out fifty bucks.

:D

If you wanna throw a beer in my face...fine, but do it because you have some philosophical disagreement with me, not because you ask what race are you and I tell you a chinawoman.

Is oriental somehow incorrect? Should I have used slope or zipperhead? Those are all disgusting terms.


Funny how some rat c*nt who starts a fight can't see it through because they are expecting someone to pick up the slack for them.

Actually, I shouldn't take full credit for it. All of us at Chiefsplanet ponied up the money for that girl to make your birthday special.

fuck that c*nt.

Oriental implies an object (i.e., slave).

Asian refers to a person.

I guess we should've bought you a round of shots instead.

Exactly. Which is why I didn't call her "Oriental" (implied sarcasm befo'). I said it TIC, and she decided to take to the 10th level. fuck 'em.

Still... there's gotta be more to the story... obviously.

She didn't follow you into the restroom for no reason.

I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm just curious.

Not really. Girls do that all the time. Particularly, those that are ****ed up.

I wish there was, But honestly, that was it.

I had a friend right there. Why she decided to throw a beer in my face (which splattered over 4 other people), I honestly don't know other than the fact that she's a beech.

Well.. damn... that's pretty ****ed up.

Maybe she follows Chiefsplanet?

Which is why I started the first bar fight of my life.

I got my azz beat about as much as a psychologists' pillow, but not nearly as much as I had coming to me.

I think the worst i ever got it was when I was stumble-drunk and taking a piss at a buddy's flop house when some broad came bursting in and didn't even look. I was pissing and she just threw her head in the toilet and let loose.

Well, y'know, I just kept on going. Right on the back of her head.

I don't know who or what hit me but the next thing I knew I was in the bathtub getting hammered through a shower curtain. Somehow I went through it and it ended up over my face and I got beat with a passion.

I guess through the squirming to get out the only solid face shot he/they got was on my lower jaw and it felt like a brick. Busted my bottom lip all to hell.

Took me a few minutes but when I got up and went to look for the guy/s (for all the good it would have done) a buddy of mine had apparently cought one and was erasing his momma's best work in the yard.

When he saw me and figured out I wasn't that bad off even though I'd bled a ton (mein blood tends to run thin) we went back in and on with the night.

But the next day I wanted to cut my stomach out. Hell it hurt. Must have take a helluva' lot of gut shots...

The funny thing is that the other girls who were with us told me that I should have punched her rather than just thrown a beer on her given her transgressions. The guys were more mixed but said they would back me up if I jumped in, so I decided to say "**** it" and rumble with those rat c*nts.

It might be more resounding if you changed it to Claythan's pillow.

I'd give some advice but apparently I'm a racist now, so...

Nein.

THat would imply that someone enjoyed it...

True dat.

True enough. The only thing worse than a psychotic female, is a drunken psychotic female.

I had one throw a Smirnoff bottle at my head once... missed me by an inch.

The cops showed up that night... luckily, I hadn't retaliated. Still, I was sure I was going to jail. (I didn't, and she didn't either.) Guys usually get the worst of that deal.

Which should legally give you the authority to kill her. That's assault w/ a deadly weapon.

Who throws a beer away? Do you know how much those cost? You seriously threw a beer on a girl?

Yeah, I threw three dollars on some piece of shit. To me, it was worth it.

Bull$#it.

Kick that slag in the face with a pair of wolverines.

THAT'S worth it...

Had I been wearing a pair of wolverines, I would have made her bite the curb.

Well, let this be a lesson to everyone and not to go drinking in Koyaanisqatsi ever again.

Or Columbia, Mo.

Bitches.

Exactly...

Hey, that's where I got my ass beat...ROFL

True enough.

But what's your take on hyenas?

Yay or Nay?

Other than a strawberry on my elbow and a few scrapes, I'm ready to go.

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Heh, I had nothing but fun there.

Of course, at that time I was a senior in high school, going to my girlfriend's sorority parties.

Pretty much the best time of my life... :D

Alright, alright!

Cool... coulda been worse.

Now you've got a good story to tell... at the very least.

I saw a pretty cool bar fight last night. A wedding party was having a recepation at a local bar, yeah real classy I know, okay its little a nicer place it was Trolleys, but still. Some dude was mouthing off to the bride or one of the bridemaid's or something and nice little brawl started.

I got body beat pretty good.

Heading from Jeff to columbia you take stadium exit, turn right at the 4 way right at the stadium, then about 2 blocks. On the left there's a run down white house when you walk in looks like a split foyer with a huge staircase after the door.

Yeah. Right there.

That really sucks especially on your birthday. This world is just full dumb asses.

Wherever she's from, she put the **** in her country.

?

Yeah, but I'd much rather beat those people to death with a pipe right now.

That dude is my older cousin.

Dead on.

Sad thing is even with that game he's still pulling bar chix looking nice. He'll be 50 trying the same game...

Well, my birthday isn't until tuesday, we were just celebrating for convenience...so fuck them either way.

I'm ok.

Wooderson rules.

Though I never expected him to bury his baby's placenta.

But I guess we all can't bat 1.000.

Or even .200.

Hold the **** up.

Is it me or is SeniorX2 sporting Jr. wood?...:spock:

In re-reading your thread starter, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt an assume one of two things:

1. She had a case of mistaken identity. In that case, I would have asked her "WTF?"

B. You banged her and forgot about it. In that, I would have asked her "WTF"?

In either case, you're ****ed

Such is life in a college town.

We should all be so lucky.

Heh, seems I can't rep you again until I spread it around a bit. As for that health thing, I'm on it. Can't live on just cheese, beer, beef and jalapenos... but damnit, I'd like to.

Oh wow... uh...

While you may be right... there's no reason to look that closely.

1. She's a crazy whore
B. I'm married

2. She needs to die.

Yes, I'm "fucked", but I'm not going to down w/o a fight.

Jalapenos on hot dogs. Hmmm....

Jalapenos on hot dogs with cheese...Heaven.

Take care of yourself and take yearly physicals (it's a terrible but necessary PITA). Not to preach (well, I am!) but you owe to your boys.

I have a newborn and there's nothing more important in my life than her.

And my health.

Hey Dane... I like that option one was "1", and option two was "B"... LMAO

Classic. :)

Eh, fights are for kids.

It's not worth it for someone to pull a knife or a gun or some kind of crazy vendetta.

Walk the **** away and get on with your life.

That shit is not worth it.

My favorite part...

"No...I'm Korean.."

and then she throws the beer on me.

Sorry for the unassuming joke while you barged in on my evacuation.

Yes, you are correct, but I still wanted to beat her boyfriend to death. Drunken aggression I guess :shrug:

See?

Friggen Mencia is relevant now, isn't he bidge?...

I work in Hollywood.

I can't tell you how many people have said that to me (even a director this very evening!).

I WISH I could share all the craziness I experience out here.

I don't know if I'm blessed or cursed! :evil:

Ah, Bro.

My best advice (for whatever that's worth!) is to just walk away, enjoy your wife and enjoy your life.

There are way too many crazy ass people out there and sadly, too many people die for dumb reasons.

Enjoy your life to the fullest and forget about dumbasses.

Thanks dude. Appreciated.

Seriously though, you're way smarter than this. Your ego is gonna get you hurt one day.

Should've known the prefered nomenclature
 

Exactly.

Jaco Pastorius was killed in a bar fight.

Brilliant people from all walks of life are killed for no reason.

Don't be another statistic.

Well look at that morose mother****er over there....

Well that's because he's out of his element

Gay. On both counts.

1 in 50 is a statistic.

How many presidents are there again?...

Dude, what the hell?


She shouldn't be throwing her beer on anybody, but the fact is, you have to realize that casually throwing out remarks about people's race is going to offend them. Even if you're right. If you asked me "what do I look like?" and I said "A black guy" you'ld want to beat the shit out of me right then and there. That doesn't give her any right to start throwing shit at you, but I'll bet that's a FAR cry from what you'ld do to somebody else if a stranger just started casually talking about your race. My bet is, you had some kind of sarcastic tone too.


Then, the ultimate in dumbassery is to go back out and start shit with a woman in front of a bunch of dudes. Even though she deserved to get some of her own medicine, you have to know that you're going to get fucked up. Dudes are looking for reasons to fight, and any guy giving some woman shit, even if she deserves it, is like a winning lotto ticket for these redneck a$$holes.


Hope you heal up alright though man. Sucks to get jumped.

I'm not Hamas, but.. I wouldn't.

Of course, I'm white. You could call me a "The Man", and I wouldn't really care.

BTW is Hamas black? That'd be news to me.

I guess my point is that... either way... it's not a big deal.

Hamas is a goofy ginger.