Mall Kiosk Salespeople
 

Wednesday around noon I was off of work and was going to do my girlfriend a favor and needed to go to Independence Center to get her something.

The mall is pretty dead and I'm on my way out of the mall wearing Chiefs sweats that I only have for doing housework and working out in, a t-shirt and a brown Rambo coat and some chick yells 'excuse me sir may I ask you a question' and waves me over.

Not thinking I walked over to her thinking she needs directions or something, I didn't even think she worked at the mall. Next thing I know she goes into a long long winded sales pitch about dead sea lotion or some crap, couldn't really understand she spoke so fast.

Tried to interrupt her to say no but it was impossible to get a word in and next thing I know she starts putting some lotion crap on my hands & having me rub my hands together then drying them off.

Assuming I was going to buy it she asked if I just wanted the hand scrub or body lotion also?

Finally.....I had a chance to speak, felt like the kid in the movie Waiting that never gets a chance to speak, I just laughed and said I just thought you had a quick question but appreciate you showing me your stuff and walked off while she was still talking.

My girlfriend knows who these Isreali lotion salespeople are in the malls and laughed hysterically about this story and how they chose to pitch me since I am not metro in any way.

Any of you know what I'm talking about???

Here are vids I found on youtube of these obnoxious salesgirls:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kykuv...eature=related

salesgirl really going after this guy lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAtRZDeXsyg

That Dead Sea lotion is pretty amazing, though.

That is why I carry a prayer-rug at the mall.

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I just look them in the face and yell I DON'T WANT ANY!

LMAO

Ice....Pick!!!!

This.

With a smile on my face, I politely tell them that I really appreciate the offer but trying to sell me something would only be a big waste of time.

I had a similar situation. A girl called me over and took my hand and started talking to me, all the while she was buffing one of my finger nails with some kind of an oval shaped emmery board. When she was done she showed me my beautiful glossy finger and said isn't that nice? I looked at her and said do I really look like someone that would buff my fingers and walked away. That's been at least 2 weeks ago, and my one finger is still beautifully glossy.

Sounds like you should run with that

:evil:

You should have dropped your pants, belittled her for looking and kicked her in the backside.

You should have just grumbled "I'm a bagbalm man, lay-day."

Bagbalm is magic in a can.


Maybe you should have told her you only use lotion to lubricate your hangdown and if she was willing to demonstrate THAT.....

The nicest thing you can do for those people, as well as door to door salespeople is politely (if possible) interupt their pitch from the start and say you're not interested. When I get door to door sales and they start to speak, I interupt immediately and say "No thank you, not interested" and then quickly close the door.

At least then it over quickly for them, they don't have to waste 10 min. on the pitch and they don't get cussed out.

Do they get paid on commission ?

Cannibal continued:

...and when they turn to leave the front stoop, I scissor kick them in the back of the head and run away with all 500 watchtower books.

Why would I be interested in being nice to them? If they respected our time as much as you suggest we respect theirs, the confrontation wouldn't be happening in the first place.

I am convinced they are gypsies.

Sometimes on those very rare ocassions I'm in the mall it feels like those people are on the verge of committing assault. You could not pay me enough to be a kiosk monkey.

without the possibility of getting a BJ in the back for $10.

You left out: all 500 watchtower books.....and to the head an ICEPICK!

Bring an Arab with you. They don't talk jewish sweet talk.

There are some hot bitches working those kiosks.

I haven't been in a mall
in several years
and I feel no remorse

I got to here and thought,okay,this could get interesting

funny, I haven't been to a mall in a long time and I was approached by one of those Dead Sea salesgirls also. I barely got away from her then, then a few steps a later I was approached by some Indian women with threads in their hands wanting to manscape my eyebrows! Kiosk after kiosk it went, now I know why I hate shopping malls. Reminded me of the airport scene in Airplane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qse_wf57tZM

And what's up with all the people there? I thought the economy was in the tank.

Man I hate those people. The best thing you can do is proactive against them. I went and got a hot pretzel one day after shopping at champs for a randle Cuttingham jersey. I knew what was coming, I saw two guys that look like the indian dude from van wilder and another girl that I swear rode in the magic carpet on aladdin. So anyway here these two guys come over "excuse me, excuse me" I slowly broke apart my pretzel (which had gotten hard because of the amount of time dunking on the lowered basketball rim in champs. They kept on walking up up me and I struck first. I flinged the prezels like damn ninja stars....Ninja mall pretzel stars and it took them both down. One of them got back up and the girl out of the group went over to this giant game board and put up a sign that said DEMONPENZ vs BADZIDAL like in kickboxer. We started to fight street fighter style (only if street fighter had a mall level. TOPSY'S POPCORN! I yelled out and I threw butter popcorn in his face, then went to a leg sweep and jumped off a instant photo booth an shoved cotton candy in his Wind pipe. ...

flawless victory

This sounds like our malls are turning into a Turkish bazar!

If you've ever been to the Mediteranean rim countries, like Egypt, Turkey, Tunisa and the like, this is common place with the street vendors. When I was in the Navy, as soon as we squids hit the beach, they'd swarm all over us. We called them Heyjoes........pronounced as one word. They could barely speak English and they called every one of us Joe. They'd say "Hey Joe.....Hey Joe.....Hey Joe....I have a very nice watch for you". (Or, whatever junk they were selling.) "For YOU a special price, a special price for YOU." They would just keep saying "Hey Joe" to get our attention. This happend from country to country. You practically had to beat them with a stick to get them to leave you alone. And don't ever pay their first price if you do decide to buy their junk. Almost every time, if they started at $50 as their special price for YOU, you could always talk them down to $10 or $5 every single time. After a while, it got to be fun to be rude jerks to them. That's the only way to get rid of them. They understood that was part of the negotiation. They'd follow you down the street saying "Hey Joe" and "special price for YOU". You would literally have to push them away and say "Get the hell away from me! I don't want to buy your shit!"

Any other military men have experiences with the Heyjoes?

I like your style kid!

:thumb:

You weren't the only one! I'll give you a gold star if you can make it all the way throught the entire video.......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIPjb...eature=related

can I get the 2 minutes back....

I remember reading about that in the paper.

You could only make it 2 min. huh? Come on! Buck up! Go for 5 min.!!! :eek:

a simple wag of the finger and telling them to back off works everytime.