Another Sexual Question...
 

Spinoff of Luv's face painting thread....


What's the craziest thing that a girl/guy has ever asked you to do sexually?


For instance....

I was with a girl who...while we were getting down.....wanted to be slapped and punched...in the face...as hard as I could. I didn't do it. There was just something about it that didn't seem right.

Be in bed, naked, blindfolded, and handcuffed to the bed when he got there.

A GF loved to be choked to the point right before she would pass out, hated every min of it.

I use my 5th ammendment right to not incriminate myself.

I've been there, I was always freaked out I'd kill her and end up on the news.

Scream "Phil Kloster, you're the BEST!"

Thats all I could think about, but she was quite hot so I obliged.

My fear is that I would piss her off somehow and then she would charge me with assault. I couldn't go through with it.

My wife likes me to drop a deuce on her chest while she's cumming.

Well look at the bright side if she pissed you off you could take it out and she'd never know...

But the headline always swirled in my head "man kills gf during sex says it's an accident" or "she asked for it"

:Lin:

NICE...

I always thought it was weird when a woman wanted to have sex with me.

hell no

no handcuffs for me


i have trust issues :harumph:

Girl I was boning wanted to roleplay me raping her.

One time a girl online asked me to meet her in a pitch black room for a blowjob. I futzed around and got scared and she gave up. Now I'm begging.

Taught me to appreciate other senses, since I couldn't reach out or see him.

did you?

This.

ROFL

****...I would've slapped the bitch. Just taking out all of the pent up aggressive from all the time that I've wanted to smack her, or break something, but couldn't b/c that's just not something you do. You don't put your hands on a women, unless she wants smacked for her sexual pleasure. And you don't break you're own stuff when you don't have any money, b/c it's just stupid. :D

Probably couldn't punch her though. That'd be a bit hard to do. Nope, no way, couldn't punch her.

Also, the choking's fine too, if she wants it, and its gets her off, let her have it.

No. Too much for me.

She'd been raped before, wanted to use it as 'therapy'.

Shortly after that I decided I was done with women (no, I'm not teh ghey), because I attract ****ed-up ones like flies.

Probably a smart move. Bet it was a dude.

This wasn't a girlfriend. This was the first time I was sleeping with her....ended up being the last too.

Crazy? Bat-shit crazy:

Was with a girl that wanted me to bite her and draw blood... I told her I didn't feel comfortable doing that but I'd give her a good chomp or two on the neck/shoulder.
She wasn't pleased with my effort and wanted to show me how she liked it.
When her canines pulled out of my shoulder, blood running down my chest, and this tingling feeling in my neck; she got the **** out of my apartment real fast.

That's an interesting one. I'm wondering if she's had issues in the past with it.

What about a shot to the ribs?

ROFL She didn't say anything about body shots.

You should've yelled "Marco" and "Polo" to each other.

No marks on a stomach shot. You should've used a bag of oranges if you were uncertain.

story would be better if you told her to put up her dukes and fought her 30's style boxing..... in bed.

I wish I would of thought of that back then.

Her: I want you to punch me as hard as you can!

Me: Ok. *starts punching her in the stomach*

Her: What the **** are you doing!??!?!?

ROFL
Would blood be coming out of her mouth?

Sure....why not. lol

This shit just got real.

I'd just smack her with my boner.

one girl i knew said she had a dream/fantasy that she went down to laundry room like at a apartment complex and that she has a guy push her up against the washing machine and rape her.

:shrug:


never asked for a reenactment though


i think it's a submissive desire ... not really about rape

repeatedly. and my shit carries a lot of weight, so it could bruise

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

But seriously though.. what a crazy woman.
She would've gotten off real easy had you knocked a couple teeth out or dislocated her jaw with a heavy cross.

I'm sure the look on my face was priceless. Because I was right in the middle of it...and it went like this.

HER: I want you to hit me.

ME: Huh? What?

HER: I want you to hit me as hard as you can.

ME: :spock:

HER: Seriously....punch me in the face as hard as you can. It gets me off.

ME: :spock:

HER: What?

ME: No.

HER: Why the **** not?

ME: Because......just......no.

HER: Fine....whatever.

ME: Ok....yep....done.

I've also thought about naked wrestling. See who could get the other one off the bed first.

Lol, uhm, well.

Ive been called Master, Daddy, Sir.... Ive beaten, spit on, peed on, held a knife to girls' throats....

All at their request.

Why on earth would you guys not do these things you guys bring up if the girl wanted it? I mean seriously, people.

Unfortunately, I've eventually discovered that every woman I've been involved with to date has been raped at some point in the past. I don't know why they're drawn to me, I guess there's something "safe" seeming with my personality (which is a joke, I'm pretty much a total bastard who just discards a woman the second I get bored), but it keeps happening over and over and over. Eventually, you gotta figure it's *your* problem if something keeps recurring, so I finally said '**** it, I'm not wired for this relationship shit'.

ROFL

HER: I want you to jack me up real good.. it gets me off.

YOU: Well stand up for a minute.

then you practice one of those spinning/split jump kicks that Jean Claud Van Damme is famous for.

It happens. Every girl I've ever dated or slept with....has had divorced parents or a ****ed up family. I just give off the safe, protective vibe I guess.

The biting thing isn't too weird either, until you get to the drawing blood part. **** that. I'm down for a lot of shit, but I'm not going to mame anyone.

No other dudes(or dicks, can't have any hermes)
And stay away from my asshole.
Also foot fetish and piss and shit fetishes are ****ed up too. nothing like that.

Sounds like you're with some classy women.

Oh shit I knew a chick like that, she told me about it beforehand and I basically stopped talking to her.

It took me a while to let her go near it but I'm glad I tried it.
It has become sorta routine.
Each his own.

I now feel compelled to make a list of all possible sexual acts, and cross off the ones I would or have done. Then, with the remaining ****ed up shit, make some sort of pre-sex disclaimer to hand out to the chicks I might find myself boning.

Until he heard a man's voice that said Polo..

The asshole thing reminds me, also had a chick that just begged me to let her give me rim jobs.

*insert obvious your mom joke here*

feels pretty relaxing.. only way I can describe it.

Married women love me for some reason.. And when I get drunk, I love them back..

I can picture it. Things are getting hot and heavy. SHe asks you if you have a condom.

"Yes, but, while I'm getting it, would mind to read through and sign off on this list of will and will not dos?"

Bad. Very bad.

Crazy bitches love me too, dunno why. Anyone ever have to deal with cutters? I've usually found out after the fact, but I've been with at least 5 of em...and had a bunch more chomping at the bit for a piece of my flesh rod. ****ing nuts.

Hey you haven't lived until you've had a guy walk up to you and go "my wife has been staring at you and I saw you looking back" and you think oh great this dude is gonna pick a fight with me....

And then he says "I'd like to watch you **** my wife" and well the utter amazement of that line gives one pause as what to say.

I didn't say no to that one.

Were you facing the other way when he said it? This would be the first time I thought your long-hair look paid benefits.

He's not doing anything wrong. If they're gonna do it, they're gonna do it. Whether it's him, or some other lucky guy.

Amen, brother. Nothing better than sending her home to someone else to deal with her bullshit.

Did she want the washing machine to be on the spin cycle at the time?

She must have been good enough looking if you were staring back. I'd have done it if he stayed the **** away, at least a 5-8 ft. buffer. Also would have to ask him to keep himself in his pants, and not to touch himself.

I'd finish up, get dressed and upon exiting, say "You people are ****ed up!".

I know. It sucks because every time I feel a shit coming I have to make sure I ask her if she's "in the mood"...

That one always scared me, the whole 'all of a sudden he's pulling up behind you, his dong all greased up' nightmare.

It's a very awkward situation the entire time you think, I wonder if this guy is going to lose it realize what's going on and shoot me in the back of the head, or hit me in the back of the head with a bat..

Thoughts like that.

And that too....it's just a very very awkward situation, also who wants to say after banging some guys wife.....mind if I use your shower and make a sandwich?

ROFL
Holy shit! Between luv's thread and this one, I have been in tears laughing so hard for the past hour.

That's actually a wet dream to me.

You have wet dreams about a guy ****ing you while he's getting ****ed up the exit ramp?

You dream of a guy that's banging you getting banged by another guy......

Like, "Hey, I want you to try to have sex with my 'wife,' so I can put you in the hospital and take what's in your wallet."

Right.

Do you have a wife?

Sideways.

I don't have anything of my own that I care to share, but I do have one of a friend.

This guy was hilarious. Back in the day, we were all partying and another friend's gf was drunk. This guy jumps in the sack with the other guy's drunk gf and bangs her. I don't remember what the bf was doing, but that was kind of ****ed up to have another friend sneak in and hump your girl like that.

The old switcharoo!

If he was really good after finishing in the dark he'd have snuck out real fast without her even knowing.

I hope he waits till I'm done.

Heh, he may have. I don't remember many of the details anymore. That was when we were all partying teenagers (20 years ago).