Did I do the right thing?
 

I feel like a dick about this. I texted in ex earlier, seeing what she was up too. (We usually talk atleast once a week). She always texts me first btw. I'm always real sweet to her, I still care about her but I'm trying my best to go forward with my life. She talks of how she wants to see me soon and what not. Her text reply was very short and made me feel like she was trying to act better than me...really pissed me off. Well, I just got a call...a bouncer from a local bar in her town she lives in. He was saying he doesn't know what to do, she's throwing up, real drunk and found her on the ground or something. He said he tried calling her best friend and she wouldn't answer so he called the last person she texted (which was me). She has been trying to tell me that she's grown up a lot..was starting to believe her too. Now, I answer and he askd if I'd come get her. I say doubtfall (2 hours apart). I was already pissed at her for her bitch message. So, I told him to call her mom and have her come get her. Long story short, her mom is a real bitch, treats her like shit...doesn't like to be woken up for stuff like this. Her mom is on her way to get her. She will regret all this in the morning. Did I do the right thing?
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Sorry for the shitty writing skills...did this on my phone.
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edit for flow please.

Yes. You don't need that bullshit.

That's what I'm thinking. Its 3 am, I got to work in the morning. I'm wide awake now. If you guys knew this persons mom, you would realize I burned her good.
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You did the right thing.

http://i40.tinypic.com/30rxtv9.gif

Two hours away? What was the bouncer going to do until you got there? Prop her up against a dumpster in the alley?

I mean, seriously. Two hours away. Who gives a shit unless it's family? Family that you actually like. It's an ex. Personally, I think that you are an idiot for texting her, and at that point, what's the big deal about driving a four hour round trip, digging her out of a pile of refuse and prying her away from her new hobo boyfriend, and then waking up in the morning hoping you are going to get a piece of ass for being a good guy by driving four hours to pick her up and then not getting it because you are an ex and she's hungover and pissed off, so now you have to drive another four hours to take her back home, have her mom criticize you because you brought her home in a complete hungover state smelling like a dumpster and hobos and you still don't get a piece of ass.

And you are worried you didn't make the correct decision about it?

(Point is, dudes do some seriously stupid shit in an effort to get laid. This would be one of those time if you actually followed through with your desperations.)

Woo son, take it easy. There was 0 chance I was driving to come get her.I told him he shouldve left her in her vomit.
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I just know that the last time her mom had to get her after this happened, her mom was chewing her ass something fierce. So naturally, I told him to call her mom. Let her deal with it. Ha
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Let's see...if my daughter got shoveled into the house by some schmuck at 2:00 a.m. and she was covered in her own vomit, etc., you are goddamn right she's going to get a complete and utter earful of shit for the next 43 years. I can't imagine a concerned and caring parent doing anything else.

But the fact of the matter remains that you actually considered driving an eight hour trip in hopes of getting a piece of tail from an ex. And not that I criticize you for it. Hell, I'd have probably done it if I were in your shoes back in the day. The only thing that might have discourage me was that nagging question of what the hell would she be doing for the two hours between when the bouncer called me and when I would actually arrive to try to get that piece of ass. And you've got to consider that a drunk broad isn't likely to stay put for two hours in any one place anyway. Who says that she would even be there when you arrived? She would have probably been three alleys down, buck naked, getting her groove on with Rufus the Stunt Bum.

Dude, did you not read my post saying there was no chance of me driving to come get her. It was 3 am, I'm not driving two hours to get her and than driving two hours back. F that son.
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She's a 22 year old college graduate...time for her to act like it. I'd rather take 2 tylonel pm's and jerk it than drive that far. I've had to pick her up when she was in this state before...she's annoying when she's like that.
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Has this bitch EVER done anything for you?

When we lived together?...honestly not really. I use to have to clean up after on a daily basis. Never bothered me though.
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So, are you asking us to judge you if you did the right thing by having the door guy call her mom to pick her up versus leaving her in the alley to get raped by God knows what as she's passed out under the dumpster?

Yes, you did the right thing. Now here's your cookie.

No, the dude took her and startd calling her worthless friend (her friend has ditched her before), when she didn't answer he called me. She couldve stayed at this bouncers house. He said he knew her (grad high school together) kept telling me that he wasn't harming her in anyway and what not. I'm asking you to judge me on leaving her at this friends house(when he clearly didn't want her there) vs having her psycho mom pick her up and bitch at her nonstop.
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"Did I do the right thing?"

Can you cup your balls with one hand?

You guys and your woman problems. Sheesh!

You know what you did wrong here Dunit?

Posted this stupid question.

You did the right thing and I'm defending the "bitch" mom too. Why is she a bitch for getting on her stupid **** 22 year old daughter for getting soused at a bar, throwing up all over the place so bad her mom has to come get her?
This is why people this young or at least of this mentality shouldn't get married or have kids. Too ****ing selfish, stupid and no perspective or common sense. Wait until you are in your forties or fifties and get a call at 2AM from a bar. You'll want to kill the so-called "adult" that's lying in his/her vomit.
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Heh, been there. I'll make this very easy...CUT THE CORD AND MOVE ON! If you don't, you will end up getting back together with this "project" at some point and not only will this person not change, but you may wake up with your balls on fire some night.

THIS


Hell I've gotten lazy enough I wouldn't drive 2 miles for a drunken ex, even if I knew there was sex involved. :shake:

I wouldn't call that "lazy," I would call that SMART.

This
was doing this pig in Cali back in my trucking days, same shit. Get drunk, get in trouble, usualy telling me off on the phone etc.... get sober cry and go on.
Until I finally realised, it's real easy to ignore someone living OVER an hour away from me. 6000miles just made it that much eaiser ;)

Easy cowboy, this is JOhn were talking about :D

4321




:)

Dunit, did you have any other alternatives than to call her mom? Because I'm not sure what else you were supposed to do. Plus, she should have been a little more aware of herself than to just pass out and throw up without anyone around to help her out. Not that she deserves it, but as long as her mom doesn't beat her, then she can handle the consequences of her mom chewing her out for her actions.

Cum on, quite bullshitting. There wasn't a Taco John's on the way and that's the real reason you stayed in, just own it.

I had almost this exact same thing happen to me. THe difference was I was still dating the girl at the time and her mom couldn't drive so I "had" to go pick her up. Some dude took her to his house (I guess a friend from high school) and she was making all kinds of noise and waking up his family. So he called me because the only word her drunk ass could pronounce was my name. So I went to get her (only a 20 minute drive) and I was going to take her back to my place to sleep it off but, like your ex, she was an obnoxious drunk and wouldn't go upstairs because she didn't have her purse (which was left in the bar that was now closed). She wouldn't go home because she lived with her mom, and like your ex's mom would have given her shit up one way and down the other (as she should). So I drove around and played soft music till she fell asleep, called her mom up and told her I was bringing her. I pulled into the driveway really slowly and as soon as I parked she woke up and freaked out but by the time her mom had the door open and was already getting her out (she couldn't stand up on her own). I went inside and we sat her down on the sofa. As her mom is yelling at her she gave me this look like "Save yourself...RUN" so I took off. The girl chased after me, crashing into every square inch of wall to the door, but I slammed the door in her face and took off. Did I mention this all happened on Christmas night?

We broke up of course, but several months later resumed a very frequent booty call relationship that I was quite content with. That lasted about a year and a half until I met my fiance.

Absolutely. It's perfectly reasonable for people in their 40's and 50's to expect those in their early 20's to have the same level of common sense, and experience. I mean forget that you were probably no different at that age, unless you were just a loser. That's besides the point. You're all grown up now!!

You did the right thing. It's not your problem and even if it was you're two ****ing hours away. The next right thing you need to do is make a clean break. Cut out the texts and move on. She's not worth the time and energy you're spending even thinking about her.

If this actually weighed on your conscious, I'd question whether you still have feelings for her or not....

Well, her mom picked her up and beat her, kicked her out of the house...

She decided to tell me she isn't sure what her sexual preference is. So, I told her not to message me anymore unless she had something important to say.

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She's got severe mental issues and I need no part of that in my life.

I don't know what you are referring to. But, I am giving it my all not to give a shit about this. I had to stand up for myself with this chick, first time I ever took a stance against her.

I'm saying it sounds like she hit rock bottom. You're doing the right thing. The more you think about it, the more likely you are to do what you want to do, rather than what you know you need to do.

My sexual preference is "yes".

Oh, gotcha. She has a good heart, she's just got major issues with her family and her surroundings.

Damn, I'm good at finding the shit ones. My ex fiance was on therapy, this one was on depressants/therapy.

My sexual preference is now "porn".

We're young dude. A ****ed up childhood can be overcome with patience, and an extended example of living life productively. Only you can judge just how ****ed up this girl is. It sounds like you have, and it's time to move on. Quit punishing yourself.

I'm trying my best not to punish myself for this. I feel like it's my fault, I told the guy to call her mom knowing she would chew her ass...I didn't think she would beat her. (my judgement on her mom was way off). I feel extremely stupid that she may be a lesbian.

LOL. Dude, she doesn't even know if she is a lesbian. It's just a cry for attention. Ignore said cry and run away.

1. It still wasn't your responsibility. You can't save the world, and the sooner you learn that the happier you'll be.

2. Why on Earth would you feel stupid? You don't think it's your fault do you?

How can you not know what your sexual preference is, that's a line women use to bait guys.

I don't know why I feel so stupid. I've told her how much she means to me and what not, only for her to tell me that. Everybody that knew her is saying I shouldn't feel stupid. Everybody warned me about her, telling me she had issues...I just didn't think they ran so deep.

Now that you know they do, there's no reason for you to feel stupid about anything.

My female boss (who doesnt really like her) thinks she just wants someone to love her and she'll take it from whoever because of how much unstable she is.

I know I shouldn't think this...but I'm guessing she's extremely depressed and it may become too much for her.

When you realize what someone is and you continue to put yourself in the spot anyway, that's when you become stupid.

With the advantage of experience, I think when you break up with someone, you break up with them and move on. Especially if they have alcohol issues. Don't take any more calls and don't send her any more messages and you'll be happier in the long run.

You are two hours away... You did the right thing..

Yep, break up and its over man. Especially the 2 hours away part seals the deal.

Time for her other friends to step up to the plate and help her.

That's why I'm putting a lot of effort into getting her away from me. I'm not about to be considered stupid by my friends.

Tell us if you get stupid about the situation on here so we can give you sh*t. :D

The thought of you thinking about it means you are one of those typical "nice guys". You aren't going to get anywhere w/ that mindset. I've read the other threads about your woman, and I think you just need to tell her the way it is. Never let a woman control the relationship.

The other thread was about my ex fiance...same shit though.

And yes, you are correct. I am one of those nice guys and I'm trying to not give a shit about this. She needs mental support but shes not getting it from me.

I've got no problem with that. I've got plenty of people who will step forward.

So.... what's her mother look like? She sounds fiesty.

She's hideous looking who is also in therapy.

No, you should have driven 2 hours to pick up a passed out drunken wretch with whom you have no relationship.

They say there are no dumb questions but I'm really wondering about this one.

Why would anyone date the daughter of a hideous looking woman?

Shes adopted...her real mother is a crack whore or something.

Never said I was going to pick her up. My question was involving calling her mom knowing her mom would bitch at her.

Too ugly to get knocked up, is pretty ****ing ugly.

Ann Landers or Dear Abby would be so proud to have us carry on their advice for them.

I'm in tears thinking about it.

Ah yes. My reading comprehension got lost in the "flow". My bad.

Ah yes. Abandonment issues. I think you need to put more than 2 hours in between you and she. Ignore all texts as well.