****ing Jury Duty....
 

:facepalm:

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1ytCEuuW2_A&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1ytCEuuW2_A&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

That sucks I just had jury duty in March.

Do your civic duty bitches.

Am sending your CP posts to the judge right...now.

That ought to do it.

Seriously, it's a good thing to do. The jury system is a good system and being in Northern California, you will probably have an excellent opportunity to put another Raiders fan in prison.

I hate that movie too.

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/2...x0v8lss500.jpg

LMAO

Oh ****ing bravo!
ROFL
Posted via Mobile Device

It's a good thing. I'm fortunate to live in a country that views peer-jury trials as a right.

This!

I did mine two weeks ago. $15 dollaz a day beyotchs!!! BALLA

Plus mileage for ONE WAY! They pay to bring you to the courthouse but not home again. My wife was a juror on a murder trial last year and got paid $250 total. Being that she stays at home and my job is flexible that was good for us...but I can see how that can create difficulties for some. And nowadays, they don't accept financial hardship as an excuse except in rare cases.

Still it's a great thing that we have and we do all have an obligation to support it, IMHO.

And yes, my wife put a Raiders fan away for life.

You're CAKN, PATNA!

Never been called (knock on wood). Of course, it's not like I haven't sat through enough trials in my life.

I had to sit in the courtroom for three days for jury selection and finally they called my name for a ****ING alternate juror. I almost threw up on the ****ing judge.

I have never been called for jury duty.

Just do it and get it over with.

Here's my jury duty story:

I'm living in Sidney and get the letter. Everyone at Cabela's tells me, "There is no way you will serve. They will settle or something. Even if they don't, you won't be one of the six, because they call in 30 people. You'll be fine." So I put the letter off and wait for the settling letter.

Fast forward. I decide to change jobs and move. So I'm in Sidney on borrowed time. It's the end of Q3 and I'm busting my ass to get all my quarter end stuff done (I was an auditor). I bust my ass get it all hammered out and actually get a Friday off! So I head home and am fixing to stay up all night and get obliterated. Then I see the letter and think, DAMN IT. I never got a settlement letter. Shit on a ****ing shingle. So I get to bed at a decent enough hour to get up the next morning and have to put off the obliteration.

I arrive at the courthouse at the buttcrack of dawn. Of course they are late, so I sit on my ass, hating my life for a damn hour while they play with their peckers or whatever they are doing. Finally they pile us into the courtroom. Remember that I'm expecting to not get called and get on with my day off. The day is still salvageable. So I'm one of the 12 that gets called. That's OK, I'm still 50/50 of getting out of there.

It turns out it was a DUI case and the attourney says, "Does anyone have prior experience with DUIs or have strong feelings about DUI laws?" Turns out I was the only ****er in the county that hadn't gotten one. So I'm on the hook. Mother****ing son of a ****ing cock bitch!!! **** my ****ing life.

That's not all. So kid gets pulled over, cop gives him field test, he "fails". Breathalizer. Doesn't do it right. No reading. All on tape. Easy money, right? WRONG. Apparently there was a "problem" with the hardware and it didn't record any sound. Plus the damn field test, of course wasn't in front the camera. So I spent 2 and half ****ing hours looking at the cop lights flash in the kids window and looking at the police station. And the damn trial took all ****ing day.

So in the end, I bust my ass at work at a job that I am not going to be at but for 3 more weeks, get a day off, and am rewarded by spending all day at jury duty watching douchebag attorneys, punk kids, and inept cops waste my life.

It wouldn't have been as terrible if I had gotten off work, but no, It was my hard earned day off.

:cuss:

Hopefully your experience is better.

theres only 6 people on a jury in KS?

Tell them you're racist.

It was in Nebraska, and I think it was that way for the minor crap.

You only have a 12 person jury for Felonies in most states.

I had a guy try that one when I was on selection and the judge basically told him that he would not be excused for that and his obligation under the law was to judge based on the facts.

Of course 5 minutes later the defense attorney tossed him.

Just hope you never ever get called on for a federal grand jury. I am sitting on one now. 18 ****ing months I am on this jury. One week out of every month I have to go listen to several cases. I have been doing it for 6 months now and I am starting to think this goes way over the top of civic duty.

Holy shit - how can they do that?

I don't know but it f'ing sucks. I got a jury summons and it didn't say anything about it being a federal grand jury. I get to the courthouse and there is a huge room full of people. They then explain that 23 of us lucky bastards and 24 alts will be sitting on a federal grand jury for 18 months and everyone in the room is like WTF? I was the second name called.

I thought at first it might be pretty cool but I quickly changed my tune after the newness was gone. I think after month 3 I was pretty pissed about the entire thing. It wouldn't be so bad but we have not once voted anything down. It seems like a complete waste of time.

How the hell does that work with your job?

Every month they send me a summons which I then give to my employer. I actually switched jobs while in the middle of this. I told them about it ahead of time and they have been very cool about it.

When I was in the Navy the various base COs had lists of jurors they would use for courts-martial, consisting of officers and crusty old chiefs, none of whom were exactly known for their soft views on crime. So for trials we'd have a few groups that would rotate cases, so these people would probably end up serving on five or six juries a year. But our jury trials were generally either for drugs or desertion, and were over in a day or two. I can't even begin to imagine how disruptive that must be.

Me, either. I actually would like to do it.


I often envision myself as an impartial judge that would mete out fair justice. :)

Get in an argument with the defense attorneys during the questioning. That's what I did last year. The judge actually started laughing.

just say you know the guy and you are good friends with him, either that or you are a huge racist ROFL

I feel like showing up to court wearing a NORML shirt will behoove you somewhat.

I was on a Federal one last Oct. $35 a plus mileage both ways.

Misdemeanor juries in Kansas are 6 person juries.

This is a good way to get stricken. It has the bonus of not completely pissing off the judge.

I was actually wanting to serve on the jury (child sex offender) but I couldn't resist myself. This attorney was really not very bright and kept asking very obvious questions, so I stomped on her.

It was actually pretty tough for me. I was an internal auditor at the time. As per AICPA audit standards, when we draw conclusions, we have to obtain "reasonable assurance" that the controls around the process are effective.

There is a big difference between "reasonable assurance" and "reasonable doubt". It was very very difficult for me at the time to change my mindset.

http://www.marver.gr/pict/granitis/zimbabwe%20black.JPG


:shrug:

I served as an expert witness on a federal trial last year. I was on the stand for one afternoon, but those poor folks had to listen to a case about chicken waste for three weeks. I kid you not.

You're an expert on chicken waste?

I served on a jury a couple of years ago and it was actually very interesting. Although I only had to do it for three days. And I just got another jury notice in the mail two weeks ago.

People watch all these lawyer TV shows/movies and think it's really like that. It isn't. I was a court reporter in hundreds of courts-martial. 95% were coma-inducing boring, and even the ones with interesting stuff were mostly coma-inducing boring, punctuated by flashes of awfulness. Ugh.

Then if they say, well it involves only people of your race.

Say "no i'm racist against everyone, understand?"

exactly!!!

I've been called for jury duty twice, but never served. The first one was a sexual assault case that was plea bargained just before it was to go to trial. The second was a business suing another business over a failed product launch. I knew one of the witnesses for the defense so I was dismissed. What made me mad about that was they knew I knew a witness, yet I had to sit through the entire attorney Q&A of potential jurors.

Just do what i do when i had jury duty i just only got 4 hours sleep after getting off work. So i told the judge that due to my diminish mental state i feel i can't fairly give focused attention to the case. They let me go.

We're through 30 potential jurors............of 124 people. FML


and my name still hasn't been called.

ROFLROFL

Sounds like it's county... At least it's not federal.

Cakn Patna!

:LOL::LOL::LOL:

Take one look at the defendant and tell the attorney that he just looks guilty. You're done.

I said I love cops and would never ever believe that they would lie under oath.

Defense attorney dismissed me in 5 seconds.

Lmao I was about to suggest the same thing.

Walk in naked holding a sign over your genitals that says "I hate black people." This can be particularly effective if you're African American.

I was on jury duty last year for 6 months. Had to call in every weekend to see if I needed to report.

Since South Dakota is mostly made up of law abiding citizens I only had to report once. They were doing a medical lawsuit case that was supposed to last a week. The list of witnesses had at least 12 doctors on it.

Praise the lord they picked a jury before my name was called to go up and get interviewed. 5 days of medical testimony? Jeesh.

I got picked.......JFC.

And just to show you how long it's going to be without giving away to much.......it's a ****ing murder trial.

Your job will pay your salary while you're on duty right?

Wow. I can't wait to hear some details after the trial is over.

Wow...

Well, I hate to say it, but it is now almost 100% certain that the defendant is a Raider fan. You have a solemn duty to sit on that jury.

Here's how to get out of jury duty...

<object width="500" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AzusuXSj8Y0&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AzusuXSj8Y0&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object>

Well if you go out and kill some one tonight I'm fairly sure you'll get out of jury duty for being biased. :shrug:

this thread just got interesting

Yep, lock that cocksucking Fade piece of shit up and hide the key in a library(so no other Raiders fans will ever find it).

I would've wore a shirt into the court room that said "Denver sucks, but Oakland swallows."

Little known facts that CP wouldn't believe

What happens if you flat out never receive or open a letter asking you to do Jury duty?

I have never been called, but I might have and just didn't know it.

Pest did you disclose that you are a closet drafturbator?

****, all that he has to do is hand the attoneys the Chiefsplanet home address with his screen name and they have escorted him out of the courtroom in no-time.

Make certain you leave out any further details.

Don't discuss the case any further, particularly where there will be a permanent internet record of your discussion. You never know who is reading or what Google spider might pick up a key word or phrase.

You don't want to wind up with a contempt citation to add to your jury duty.

After the case is done, everything is fair game.

unless they can actually prove that you received the notice there is really nothing they can do. In a number of places if you ignore them long enough they'll send it certified mail. Generally ignoring it would only work if you're a renter that moves around often.

Cool. Thanks.


Plausible Deniablility is my friend.

In our county, the judge issues a notice for you to show up and explain to him why you weren't there. You'll be personally served with that (called a "show cause" hearing).

If you want to ignore that and not show up, then there will be a warrant for your arrest for contempt for not following court orders, then you'll get to explain it in cuffs, maybe with a hefty fine or 30 day jail sanction if your excuse is lame enough.

Holy God Banyon, you are in DC?

PM coming.

Well sh*t yeah. You're in our district. How about that? That's precisely what will happen if you ignore a notice. You got exact legal advice there buddy. LMAO

Thanks. It is something I have always been curious about.


If it ever comes up, maybe I can get out of jury duty since I know Judge Love fairly well. Wishful thinking LMAO.

Demand to be paid in cabbage worms

Wonder if there are ever hot chicks on jury duty.

You should hit on them, try to hook up.

They can't escape!

Goddamn Pest. You should have read the advice on this thread before your name got called.
Posted via Mobile Device