Received a marriage proposal yesterday
 

Wonder if she's hot.

Dearest Friend,

I am writing you from the tears, sore and pains in my heart to let you know the reason why I picked you for my proposal. I am sincerely sorry if I disturb your privacy with my proposal; firstly I will start by introducing myself. My name is Sarah Smith; I'm 25 years old, I school and work as a cloth maker after my studies, I live in London England. I am the only daughter of my parents, my father died in an auto accident on his way to see my sick mother where she was admitted for breast cancer treatments. My mother gave up when she heard about the death of my father in same hospital where she was admitted, May their soul rest in perfect peace, amen. Before the death of my father he willed his Real Estate & Gas station business to me and a sum of Ј50,700,000.00(Fifty Million, Seven Hundred Thousand Pounds Sterling). After the death of my parents I find it difficult paying my school fees, feeding and taking care of myself as a lady as no one is left to guild me.

I went to the bank where my late father deposited the fund for me to make some withdraw out from the account, I was not grant access to draw from the account due to the clause that was placed on the money by my late father before his death, saying I must be 30 years of age before I will have access to claim the fund by myself or if I am married before the age of 30 my husband will be eligible to collect the money for me or if I could present a trust worthy person to the bank as my relative the fund will be given to the person on my behalf. But today I am only 25 years old I have no access to draw from the account till I am 30 but as things are with me now, I might also lose my life since I can't feed well which is the reason why I am contacting you to help me, Please I am pleading with you to stand in as my husband to claim this fund or if you are married already and still wish to help me by standing as a relative to claim this fund for me I will be more than happy to tell you more on how we are to proceed.

Please write me on this e-mail address : sarahs.2@live.com

I will be waiting to hear from you,

With Love

Sarah Smith

Have you responded yet?

She is. Just ask for a picture.

Dear Sarah,

I need to know that you're a team player and that your lady garden is well maintained. Please take a shower, a shitload of valtrex and come on over so my friends and I can
get to know you and make sure you'll be able to handle the business end of our business end.

too late, bitches...i responded to sarah and we will be wed next tuesday.
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p.s. do any of you know how much Ј50,700,000.00 is in u.s. dollars? tia

Dear Sarah,

Come for your interview. Bring cut off shorts because you're going to be doing some noodlin'. I need to know you can provide for us.

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tis the season:D
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I graduated hs w Sarah smith, no idea she had that much money.

I dated 3 Sarah's over the years and if any of them were as stingy with money as they were with the pink sleeve, they could have that much saved up.

I'll guild her. :hump:

Yeah that sounds like a legit deal!! She seems extremely intelligent too.

Ask her why she has picked you for this grand adventure.

Less than you might think. :D

Damn, you guys are onto me.

Nah, still contemplating how much to ask for as a dowry. I guess that would vary depending on her looks/personality.

Dear Sarah. If you went camping and woke up with a condom hanging out of your arse, would you tell anyone?

Dear Sarah,

Wanna go camping?

Just ask her for very specific nudie pics like have her stick a banana in her vag and hold a sign that says will you marry me then you will know if its real or not
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Hey dammit! I was gonna take her camping.

LMAO

This thread is awesome.

Dear Sarah, If you went camping and woke up with 3 condoms hanging out of your arse, would you tell anyone?

Dear Sarah, Do you by chance like grape gatorade?

If the looks you desire are not there, she gave you the out of being "Uncle Pittsie" to get possession of the loot. :shrug:

Gabbing about your prospects for marriage, Gheyest activity in the world. That pretty much sums it up.

Well, next to soccer:)

ask if you can PIIHB, if she says yes, you know it's a fake

Dear Sarah,

How do you feel about 2 chics at the same time?
I ask this, not to give offense, but because it seems like the thing
a girl who would marry me to give me her money would do.

this is important.

Also, It's kosher that I inform you that after the honeymoon at Hotel 6, you ain't gonna shat right for a week.

xoxoxoxo
your loving fIIIIIIance'

You're just jealous the Nigerian scam artist chose me, a gainfully employed professional, over some broke-ass student.

In summation, f off. There have been far worse thread ideas.

Hey, I just expressed an opinion. I'm sick and tired of you SatC gabfests acting all elitist because I'm not interested in your fur'rin girlfriend and all the boring e-mail she sends you.

Insert Iowa bred Pidgen-English catchphrase, whackety-schmackety-doooooo

Tell her thanks but you're not into British women and that you prefer a nice nubian queen.

Dear Sarah, I need to know that you will be a productive wife. I will have to put you to work on the farm for a 3 month trial period before I can marry you. Your responsibilities will include cleaning up afterbirth from newly farrowed sows , scooping hog shit into a bucket and disposing of properly, maintaining the filter in the slurry pit , training the young boars to get hand jobs and fixing lunch for the employees. If you pass the test I'll consider.