Brag on yourself
 

Tell us about something good that has happened to you, is happening to you, is going to happen to you, you've made happen, you're making happen, or you're going to make happen.

I recently hit a hole in one.

I'm about to buy an awesome car.

I woke up this morning.

I'm about to be the 4th person that's replied to this thread. Nobody else can say that.

Also, back in 82, I could throw a football a quarter-mile.

Sure they can.

They'd be lying, but they can say that.

As a matter of fact, I'm about to be the 4th person that's replied to this thread.

Is that land or a nautical mile.

It is over the mountain.

Sired two off-spring .. which one has sired three male off-spring ....

I race cars, play tennis, and fondle women, BUT! I have weekends off, and I am my own boss

During my missionary work in Africa I helped teach some of the the better nourished kids some dance moves.


http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k1...39/1zn73tx.gif

Congratulations.

I remain STD free.

I'm so good....that I create two babies at a time.

I'm Awesome. But that's less a brag and more a statement of fact.

Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT!

That's fairly easy to do when your only option is abstinence, no?

This is the perfect thread for you, Barney.

I have other options. Unfortunately they mostly involve fat women and black women, or fat black women.

I once constructed a castle made solely of mashed potatoes, gravy, and green beans. It had a moat and a working drawbridge.

FAX

Yeah, but can you be scary?

At least until the dreaded Potato Eaters of the Rath invaded the land and ate through their starch defenses.

Kind of a "Close Encounters" thing, eh?

I was named MVP for the month of June at work. Got a $100 bonus for it and the big wigs in the building know my name.

Should bastards such as those attempt an unseemly attack on my tater palace, I would pour hot gravy on their heads until the ne'er-do-wells took refuge in the biscuit where ... AHA!! ... I would have them captured for all eternity in sticky jelly.

FAX

Well don't forget what Chris Rock says about fat women "push that got over to the side and there's some good pussy under there!" Try it and report back.

I've been eating lots of fiber and saving toilet paper in the process. I'm feeling very blessed. A clean poo is a beautiful thing.

Beware the giant biscuit eating lizard. That's all I have to say about that.

I ran a 50 mile ultramarathon in 10 hours 55 minutes on July 3rd. I am pretty proud that.

I'm learning how to hold my breath for long periods of time.

Shouldn't you be on Pawn Stars selling your truck right now?

Was born, graduated, got married, have 4 kids and still gainfully employed.

I'm sorry.

The last 2 times I've pooped, they've been 1-wipers.

Well I'll see your 1-wipers and raise you two clean breaks! Cheerios :)

I have someone in my life that loves me for who I am.

That's good, Mr. Rain Man. Real good.

It's a skill that will prove invaluable the next time a gang of Chinese lesbian bitches attempts to drown you in a public toilet.

FAX

GTFO of here with that wussy shit.

That's cool. I have someone in my life who loves me, but she pretends I'm somebody else.

FAX

The great news is i got over 200 hits on my website. the bad news cause i've pissed off Joshua Molina he sent his fans after me. Now who should i offend next week to get that many hits?

nitwit? LMAO!!

I have a new play (a 10 minute play) opening tomorrow night at a theatre. It's one of eight plays the theatre is producing as an evening of 10 minute plays.

Joshua Molina sent his internet posse after you? (BTW, who is Joshua Molina?)

who is joshua molina?

ARGH!

ROFL

great minds?

I've got an 11 minute play.

FAX

I don't know, but I bet he plays catcher for some baseball team somewhere.

Substitute "Playboy mansion grotto" for "public toilet" and this could be my fantasy thread.

In the past year: I've helped someone I didn't particularly care for. I've corrected a misconception that I did most of the work on a high visibility project and given the other person most of the credit when it would have been easier to just take it. I've chosen the option that was better for the team rather than myself. And I did it all without religious influence too... Unpossible.

I have a 12-inch Bic.

Impressive lighter. Girls love it. Don't know why.

I'm not. Of course, I'm crazy too.:D

I'm so awesome I really couldn't put it all in one post and half of it would make most you think I was just ****ing lying anyway.

Just take my word for it, mother****er I'm awesome.

When I was a kid I had a lot of friends that were into sports. We'd play by our school a lot in the evening. There were some guys from a different area, (gang bangers) that started some shit with my friends and I. We got into a shoving match, one guy even pulled a WWF move and threw me over his shoulder. He spun me a few times and afterwards gave me a black eye.
My parents got scared, (even though this was my 1st fight).
We argued for hours but there was no getting around it... I was moving.

I hopped a c-130 and flew out west, got picked up by a driving service (the driver was quite foul).
When we finally arrived at my uncles house, I realized I was the new prince of Bel-Air.
Posted via Mobile Device

We saw it the first hundred times, DaKCMan AP.

:)

Does your play have an intermission? Because I get fidgety if there's no intermission.

When I was in the circus, a couple of lions attacked the lion trainer, escaped their cage, and went after the trapeze artist chick. She tried to get away, but her foot became entangled in an electrical cord. Things were looking pretty bad and happening real fast, so I halted my equestrian performance, grabbed a folding chair, and threw myself between the trapeze chick and the huge, bloodthirsty, man-eating lions. They chewed me up pretty good but I was able to knock one of them out with a chair-shot to the forehead and strangle the other one with my good arm. The trapeze chick was pretty grateful. But then, so was the audience and one of the spectators happened to be the head of NASA. He came backstage after the performance and offered me a job as an astronaut and head of diplomatic relations with the aliens which was a pretty good deal so I gave my horses away and did that for awhile.

FAX

the guy from sportnight who was the co anchor to peter Strauss character.

My brand new 11 minute play has an intermission. Two of them.

FAX

Did a consulatation with a client last night.
Vice prez of a manifacturing company for Aerospace/NASA in Tempe AZ.
Lives close to where I am working in Western canada, and wants me to do 7 custom scroll work designs on her vaulted ceilings throughout the house.
Then do a King Edward III replica ceiling medalion on the dining room ceiling.
Not a bad shack, only 4.9 Mill , 6900 sq/fl space 14ft ceilings through out the house, Vaults go to 22'. :D

When I told her I didn't have a big enough template for one design she wanted, she simply said, "leave it with me, i'll have our Fab shop make one with the lazer cutter"

Did I mention the private helicopter in the back yard for traveling to work?

I've seen bigger houses, I've seen more expensive.
But it's been a long time since a house made me look at it so closley, I never even saw the furniture.
Indian Rosewood colums, marble in more places than I would have thought possible, and a kitchen that would make Gorden Ramsey himself proud of.

If it's possible that house almost gave me a hard on just thinking about having the pleasure to work on it.

Client is very clear on what is wanted, (which I love makes my job that much eaiser), and VERY educated.
Not just every day I can have an intelligent conversation about The Renniscance "Masters" and 1800's Victorian interior finish with someone who actually understands that it takes more than "crown moldings" to make a "Victorian Home"
And knows the difference between "Colonial" and "Victorian" finishes.

You want a dream house ?
I walked through the ****er last night for 3 hours.

Too risky. Most people would probably not come back.

I have really clean, smooth balls.

Working M-W in Salt Lake City this week. Driving to IMFT Semiconductor factory in the morning on Tuesday to audit my guys. See a sign on the highway advertising Paul McCartney in concert that night there. Go into the customer factory and mention that I would love to see the show. One of the guys that works for me whom I was taking to dinner that night, has two extra tickets he is selling to the show.

He sells them to me for $100 each ($169 face). He gets dinner and drinks from me, I fly my wife from Portland w/free SWA ticket, she arrives 5:30pm, I pick her up, we eat, go to the show (fabulous of course) and some something-something if you catch the drift.

Totally unplanned and totally AWESOME!!!

Shut up JarJar

I suck at just about everything. :shrug:

Ya post a mighty mean smiley :thumb:

wrong thread, brah.

ROFL

What's the difference between a 1-wiper and a clean break? Doesn't a clean break require one wipe to ensure that it was a clean break?

Inquiring minds need to know.

Not bad, poop thread by 70 posts :thumb:

Just over an hour ago, I started an EPIC THREAD on http://www.chiefsplanet.com

Sorry to be truly epic, it would have had to have a Poll, WITH a Gaz option. :shake:

Congrats. but just over three and a half years ago I started this epic thread http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...hlight=12%3A30

I can't even put into words how happy I am for you, yet how jealous I am of you at the same time.

I got a promotion 2 weeks ago and moved up 1 level in my company after only being there a year. They also gave me a $6000 raise

I am more positive and hardworking then i ever have been in my life, well except on chiefsplanet

I'm about 1/3 of the way closer to attaining a pilot's license than anyone else I know.

... but does that help me get laid? No, so I need to find something else. Like lifting heavy objects or somesuch.

I like boobs.

Don't compare yourself to others. You're going to be worse than some and better than some. Something you consider to be good. Focus. Pilot's license. It's good because it's something you want to do.

Very true. It's something I want to do before my vision goes completely tits up as opposed to the horrendous state they are in now.