The Fake Matt Cassel
 

This deserves it's own thread. I hope the guy who started this account is as diligent in updating it as KingNeckBeard. Hilarious.

http://twitter.com/Casseld

Gold

LMAO

As much as Cassel gets talked about here, a fake Cassel CP account would be hilarious.

Especially if he went around saying "Oh yeah? I have 63 million reasons you're an idiot."

he can buy 63 million 5 piece chicken nuggets from wendys

This guy definately sounds like a planateer. Cmon somebody own up to it

lol

why would somebody fess up to a fake twitter account if it was them?

I would rather have this guy at Quarterback.

Dude.....that shit is ****ing awesome.

I sure hope Cassel doesn't start tweeting during the game. He doesn't need the distraction.

That's 315 million chicken nuggets.

That's gonna need a lot of dipping sauce.

I've always thought about creating a fake twitter account of an athlete or a celebrity. The potential to mislead people is too much fun to pass up.

That AztecaTV reporter is lucky she never brought her fine ass around our locker room.KO mushroom bruises across the face aint easy to hide!

Hahahahaha. Been a while since I heard a mushroom print joke.

ROFL

Claythan this is you let's stop beating around the bush.

Haha. I wish. I'm not creative enough to be consistently funny.

I do know who it is, though. :D

Any suggestions on who would be the most fun to create a fake twitter account for. This guy has really inspired me.

Todd Haley?

Nah I actually like Todd Haley.

If they were Wendy's spicey chicken nuggets instead, I might actually think that'd be a great investment LOL

FYP.

Someone from here?

roofles

TJAX, imo.

Shaun Smith says hello.

ROFL

Hey BossChief, check out his first quarter splits.

ABYSMAL.

That's why we start slowly on offense.

Cassel has converted 33 of 90 third or fourth-down chances this year. (compiled the numbers for my article)

10 of those came in the Texans came.

Take out the Texans game and he's at 29.8%.

And that includes QB runs.

THE REAL MATT CASSEL
 

I felt I had ruined the flow of the thread with that post (that I made at the Coalition a few minutes ago to refute a reeruned claim or two) but since it got a reply, I thought I would go ahead and post it again for those that missed it.

His worst statistical down is third down.
His worst statistical quarter is the fourth.

Nothing else matters.

...

2009 4th quarter
52% completions (56% rest of game)
6.86 YPA (Rest of game = 5.46 YPA)

actually much better than the rest of game,

2010 4th quarter
54% completions (62% the rest of the game combined)
5.8 YPA (7.59 rest of game combined)

Has he regressed in 2010 crunch time?... or was it just due to the fact he was accruing more "garbage time stats" against more prevent defenses last year?

2009 3rd down
49% completion % (59% combined on 1st and 2nd down)
5.8 YPA (6.0 YPA on 1st and 2nd down combined)

2010 3rd down
47% completions (almost 64% on 1st and second down combined)
6.1 YPA (7.4 1st and 2nd down combined)
One of the worst conversion rates as a team in the league (cant find a place that offers % of third down passes converted for first down, but it would be very low)

...
Has the guy really improved over last year where it mattered the most? Looks to me like he has regressed in the important areas... I guess the jury is still out on that...but keep in mind that even if he has....

He was total complete garbage last year.

The faster we replace his ass, or send him to the bench, the faster this fanbase may well have legitimate HOPE for us to win something real.

Sorry for the hopes and dreams I just crushed.

Im not sure if you have gone to the Coalition lately, but its an even bigger joke about certain players than it EVER was.

there is a thread where almost half of the members voted that they would rather have Cassel then Flacco.

SAD, SAD, SAD

BTW where did you get those stats from? Did you compile them yourself?

I crunched those numbers myself for those comparisons.

Yeah, I went through the play by play logs.

I'm dedicated to my craft.

FYI, I'd read the Coalition if I had an account.

they ban ya again?

I've been banned there for some time now. The place ain't worth reregistering.

there are about 10 posters from that whole site that I would love to see them integrated into this community, but out of respect for their site I haven't offered an invitation.

The rest are a bunch of ****ing KnowMos

Just PM them, man.

ROFLROFLROFLROFL Rep.

I put their putrid emails on Spam.

There's a fake Jack Harry on Twitter. Pretty funny.

Oh snap, the hills have eyes.

LMAO

HAHA

I posted this as a thread on the Coalition and they DELETED it.

YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!

That place needs a flushing colonic.

They didn't delete it. They changed the forum software and some threads were lost.

Get ready yall

HE'S A MACHINE *insert scene of Cassel learning kung fu/how to read a defense by computer osmosis*

He's baaaaaaaack in the saddle again.

I wish it really WAS him.

Yeah I could actually like that guy!ROFL

Yah well I really wish this thread and poster WAS funny....

I guess wishes are for suckers.

Oh honey, one day you and Matt will be accepted as a legitimate couple and you'll be able to get married and share health insurance just like straight people, I promise.:(

The Changing his jersey number is ****ing hilarious.

**** all yall /Thiggy

Yah I guess in your world you either think someone is a pile of shit or you suck their girthsicle and take their shaft in your manhole on a nightly basis...

Protip: there is something in between thinking a guy is awful and wanting to give him head

He's watching.

It's even funnier because of this:

http://www.hollywoodcollectibles.com...Lanier_131.jpg

No actually, it isn't.

Also: posting big pictures to try and throw in a red-herring will not change the fact that you are a complete moron.

roofles

ROFL

ROFL

Do you **** your mother with that mouth?

I love this guy.

LMAO

By my estimation, Casseld is Bobby @bloodfistsnet.

It's the only account that Casseld is following and also following back.

He mentioned me last night saying he appreciates my support. He's my following me though and it's definitely not me. I'm just not that clever.

He's rolling.

The Cass out?ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

ROFL

I wonder if its really Matt Cassel.

Absolutely.

I wondered that today too. Be great if it were.

.

ROFL wtf

ROFL

Just got his new update on my phone but I can't quote from the tapatalk app. Someone else do so please

update

.

this guy rules.

.

ROFLROFLLMAOLMAO

ROFL

Saw that. He also re-tweeted Schefter's tweet about Jamaal's extension. Matt must be pretty excited.

Before SD game:

After SD game: