I made the difference in the life of a child today.
 

I really hate that "made a difference" saying. Really hate it. Not sure why I used it other than sarcasm since I hate it so much.

But anyway, I finished up a meeting today and was walking home when I stopped at the mall. I had to send an e-mail and it's a good place to people watch, so I bought a frozen yogurt (I love that pay-by-the-ounce frozen yogurt concept) and found a seat near the escalators.

At one point while I was working, I ended up noticing a girl who was about three years old, and it became obvious that she had no parent around. She was just wandering around. So long story short, I went and got her, and after about ten minutes I and the Cinnabon counter girl and another couple managed to reunite her with some rather frantic parents who'd lost her and were literally running around the mall trying to find her. (The Cinnabon girl didn't know how to reach mall security, which I found rather interesting, and we found the parents before we got word to mall security.)

But the part that got me thinking was that there's a risk for a 40-something guy to go approach a lost three year-old girl. If you walk up at the wrong time, you get tackled by a parent and get arrested as a stranger abduction pervert and you end up on the sex offender registry after being brutalized in prison for a period of time of not less than six to ten years, and no one's ever going to believe that you were trying to help. So as soon as I confirmed she was lost, I immediately steered her toward the teenage girl who was running the Cinnabon, because she would qualify as a trusted person more than I would. Kind of sad, really.

So how many ounces of frozen yogurt does it take to entice a 3-yo to come over and talk to you?

Was she hot?

The Cinnabon girl.

You're quite the perceptive guy, good for you. It's a shame the Cinnabon girl didn't know how to contact security. In the times we live now it's quite necessary to know these things.

Oh, and what the hell is Cinnabon? It sounds like something Clark Griswold came up with along with his non-nutritive preservative.

It is. On a local radio station recently, they were talking to male daycare employees who weren't allowed to change diapers, or help with potty training.

On one end, good for them, who really wants to do that? On the other... Seriously?!?! So is every man now a suspected pedophile?

I had a 7 or 8 year old boy ring my doorbell last year, he was walking home and he wanted to use my phone. I step outside and hand him my cell phone, no answer. He says he lives a few miles away and asks for a ride home. I told him that there is no way I could do that. I wanted to help him, but I knew if I gave him a ride, then I would most likely get thrown in jail as a pervert, kidnapper, whatever. He seemed sad and walked off.

It helped that I'd topped it with Reese's Pieces.

I'd have taken the risk.

Yes.

:p

Louis CK explains Cinnabon the best, language NSFW

<iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fp-j72ALHHs" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen></iframe>

No, she actually a little overweight.

Oh, her. Let's just say that if you work at Cinnabon it's probably really hard to stay slim.

Wait a minute. I think she was under 18, too. I don't think I can talk about this.

Can you elaborate on this pay by the ounce frozen yogurt?

if this day in age wasn't so ****ed up, I would have given driven him to his house. But there is no way that if a stranger pulls up to a house with a kid he doesn't know, that it's going to end well.

If you don't know Cinnabon, you should immediately jet to the nearest city that has one. Cinnabon is one of the ten greatest things on earth.

Instead, you let him go off to possibly be picked up by someone who really is a pedophile.

what could I do though? I did feel bad about it if that's any consolation. But knowing that there is a good chance that I could get in a huge legal battle and possibly end up in a pound me in the ass prison, I mean, come on. There's no way.

So, ask someone to go with you.

You don't have a criminal record, do you?

I agree. But was your girlfriend or wife around? If the two of you went together it wouldn't look nearly as suspicious.

I figured it was everywhere by now. I first encountered it in Juneau when I was in Alaska last year, and now they're popping up all over Denver.

It's one of the eight greatest things on earth. You go in and pick up a bowl. You are then faced with a self-serve array of multiple types of frozen yogurt, which you can put in the bowl in any variety and quantity you want. For example, today I went with a quadrocopia of chocolate, vanilla, hawaiian paradise, and "original tart". You then move to the salad bar-like toppings area where you can apply toppings in any combination and amount you like. They usually have about three dozen toppings ranging from fresh fruit to chocolate chips to Fruity Pebbles to candy chocolate rocks. Today, I went with small chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, caramel chocolate cups, a brownie, and some hot fudge. You then take the concoction up to the counter and set it on a scale, and pay some exorbitant by-the-ounce price that is staggering, but at the same time you had the ability to make exactly the perfect frozen yogurt dish for that particular moment in your life, so it's worth it. Then you spend the next thirty minutes like a bear working on a honeycomb.

That happened to me when mine was three, at the mall but she walked into an expensive jewelry store, looked up at the lady behind the glass counter and said she couldn't find her mom. That lady got her to security where I found her. I was just reading a book for a second, or so I thought in a book store and she took off across the other side of the mall.

Oh and I love the saying making a difference in the life of a child—I do it everyday.

no I don't, but my wife wasn't home. I try to be a good person, but there is no way you take someone elses kid in your car when you are a man. If my wife was with me, it might be ok. But there's just no way. I mean, it was the middle of the day and I hope he made it home safe. But there is absolutely no way I would drive someone elses kid that I don't know home. You would get thrown in prison for that, that's ****ed up, but you would.

Maybe you could have called 911 to report a lost child?

Yeah, I was headed to mall security when I saw the dad, and it was pretty obvious that he was the dad. He was running and his eyes were big and he was looking in every nook and cranny. I figure that can't be a good feeling. He was moving fast enough that I couldn't even say anything. I just waved him toward the Cinnabon and then caught up with him before he passed it.

How much was yours?

I offered that to the kid, but he said he'd walk.

Hmmm....Dear Penthouse.....it all started with a bowl full of frozen yogurt, a cinnamon glazed teenage girl with access to more icing....please go on!

$6.66.

Now that I think about it, if the cops had stopped me on the Amber Alert, that would've been presented as some sort of satanic cult thing.

I went a little bigger today so I could test out "original tart" as a flavor. Usually it costs between $5 and $6.

Ice cream places must make money hand over fist. Think about how much ice cream you can buy for $6.66 at the grocery store.

And if it's self-serve, you save on employee labor.

I think I should open an ice cream hole-in-the-wall. I live right by a high school, literally around the corner, and there's a small business strip with two vacant stores. If I could undercut the TCBY which is down the road (about 5 miles), maybe it would work?

That's a good point. I bet you could. You only need one teenage kid to run it, and if the scale is hooked up to the register they don't even have to scan anything.

The thing about it is, what if you had watched the news that night or the next and you see a picture of that kid and he's gone missing? I'd probably risk it and make sure he got home safe.

That is good news Rainman and i'm proud of you, as should the rest of CP as well.

I'd give the kid a ride home...

are you kidding me???

Wow. If a 7 year old kid needs a ride home I'm giving him one...if it's some desperate ploy or money play by the parents to try and get the kid to call rape then ****...I guess I walked into that trap...

but I'm not going to tell a 7 year old "tough luck" when they need help...especially if it just requires a short 5 minute ride home.

That's just insane.

and when we got to his house I'd walk up to the front door and make sure his/her parents knew what had happened and tell them to, I don't know, try and keep a better eye on their freaking kid.

If I thought everything through clearly, I would have called 911 to have the kid picked up, regardless if that was what he wanted or not.

he's freaking 7 years old...

I would have put him in the backseat of my car, driven him to his house, went up to the front door and knocked...

If the parents answered, I would have explained to them what had happened and told them I'm glad I didn't have to get the police involved...

If they didn't answer, I guess I would have stayed right there and then called the police and left it in their hands.

I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, Mr. Rain Man, but this is actually the latest insidious scheme in the world of midget crime. That "3 year-old" you encountered was actually a midget pretending to be a little girl. Her "parents" were midget accomplices. You did not save a little girl. Rather, you inadvertently foiled an ingenious midget plot to steal the contents of the cash register and an untold number of Cinnabons. Had the midget been caught in the act by the Cinnabon girl, the "parents" were in the mall to help the midget escape justice.

In future, the best thing to do in a situation like this is to approach the midget as though you were offering candy in order to gain the midget's trust. Once you have sufficiently neared the midget, you then beat the midget mercilessly and repeatedly upon the top of the head with a chair or laptop computer or other solid object until the police arrive.

FAX

Dude this is screwed up...on your part.

I think you should take all the money you make writing about pro football and buy yourself an ice cream truck.

Somehow you seem like the kind of guy who would drive an ice cream truck around the block, and around the block, and around...

Juneau is cool. The only state capitol you can't drive to. (For those unfamiliar: it's got mountains on one side and water on the other, and is not connected by road to any other city. Everything has to be shipped or flown in.) Many people also don't realize it's technically a rainforest so they don't get a whole lot of snow; people just assume "Alaska = ten feet of snow every year".

I made the difference in the life of a child today. Some kid rang my doorbell, said he wanted to use my phone because the guy down the street wouldn't give him a ride home. So I dragged him in the house and chained him in the basement and did things he'll need years of therapy to get over.


























What, you perverts? I just made him watch a lot of Herm Edwards press conferences. :shrug:

We prefer "Little People" there FAX.
Posted via Mobile Device

"Little" is an insulting diminutive. Vertically-challenged.

You could have walked him home, to ensure he made it safely. I don't blame you for not driving him home. I would probably flip out a tad being a parent, if a stranger drove my child home. It would be my child I flip out on, however, not very bright on the kids part, even asking.

I wonder where the parents were anyway?

Cinnabon cereal cracks the top 50, at least.

Dude...douche move.

Paranoid idiot much?

Actually it is tough to make money if you own an ice cream store, especially if you live in a climate where it is cool/cold 6 months of the year. If you can find a way to get clients other then ice cream, you might be able to make it.

I once encountered a 6 year-old who was lying and weeping in a downtown gutter. At first, I thought it was a dirty, sick midget working some kind of midget scam, but it was actually a little kid. I asked the tiny, frail vagabond what had happened and, as I watched the pitiful tears running down her sad, dirty cheek, learned the story. Although her trembling lip and dehydrated state caused her to speak in a halting, breathless stutter, she was able to eventually convey that the poor, unfortunate child had somehow gotten lost and disoriented and was missing her mother and father terribly. It was heart-rending, so I did what any red-blooded American would do; I briefly considered the possible legal ramifications, told the youngster to buy a map, and got the hell out of there.

FAX

well, I'm not risking life as a sex offender and 10 years in prison for that. It would be child abduction and I would have no defense on the matter if I helped the kid. So, sorry but that's the way this world is today.

If combined with a brothel, I think it would produce a solid year-round revenue stream.

Uh...yes you would. In fact, a defense wouldn't have been necessary - there's no way you could've been charged with a crime. You ought to look up the elements of kidnapping and remember that the prosecution has to somehow prove them (and prosecutors aren't actually in the business of arresting as many people as possible). Think of how many child sex-offenders that are actually guilty go free for lack of evidence and you'll realize how absurd you sound right now.

Do you honestly think you'd get arrested if a kid climbed into your car and you drove towards the parents house? If you somehow managed to get pulled over during the 2 mile drive on the way there, you may have to explain it to the officer, but that's about it.

Do you think the parents are going to have you arrested when you get the kid out of your car in their driveway? Yeah, lots of child rapists drop the kids off at the front door.

At worst, it costs you a few hours if you had a truly nuts cop. No prosecutor in the world would ever charge you (on what evidence?).

He's right - you're being absolutely insanely paranoid. If this is the way you live your life, I'd suggest you simply not leave your house. Afterall, banter at work could be construed as harassment. Bumping someone in the aisle of a Safeway could be seen as sexual assault. You could slip on some ice and land in a vagina - who the hell knows? Afterall, it's a crazy world we live in.

The Golden Rule failed miserably here. Were it your child, you'd have been exceptionally greatful had someone given him a ride home and/or otherwise looked out for his well-being. Rather than extend that same courtesy, you concocted some strange sequence of events in your mind that somehow allowed you to shut the door on a wandering child without pain of guilt.

Neat trick, but I wouldn't go around telling that story looking for a pat on the back. It was a shitty response on your part.

Jesus ****. Talk about being overly paranoid.

<iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Pzl86IjTpHI" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen></iframe>

Then the child learns to trust any stranger which could come back to bite him someday. I'd call the police so they can find the parents. Even if he objected.

I'd have still called them just so he'd be safe.

it's funny what you mentioned here:

Afterall, banter at work could be construed as harassment. - seen it happen. Some friendly talk at work led to a sexual harassment by a girl who overheard the conversation, which was nothing about her. The poor guy got fired after many years of good work.

Bumping someone in the aisle of a Safeway could be seen as sexual assault.
-A girl indeed got bumbed into kind of, the guy walked behind her and kind of touched her back, not in any sexual way, just like "I'm coming right behind you" She made a huge stink about it and it took weeks for corporate to handle this and the guy got fired.

So, you don't have a very good grip on reality my friend. You're an idealist.

So like I said - you should probably avoid leaving the house. It's a scary world.

If he called the police, they'd then have to take him to Social Services to avoid a lawsuit on the off chance that the child accidentally gave them the wrong address or if the parents weren't home. And then once Social Services got involved, they'd have to remove him from the home because they couldn't risk a lawsuit by returning him since the parents had already let the kid get lost once. So they'd send him to a foster home, and for the next ten years or so he'd kick around the system while his parents were in court trying to regain guardianship of them, and eventually at 18 he'd get pushed out the door, penniless and alone, and would turn to a life of crime to support himself and to strike back at the society that ruined his life. And he'd drive around the neighborhood in his beat-up Chevy Impala, cigarette dangling from his lips, looking for the house that started it all so he can inflict upon them some measure of the pain he's been feeling. And then one day Chiefs Rool is out working in the yard when he sees a car drive slowly by, and they make eye contact...

Moral of the story is today's kids are soft if they need a ride home when it's only a few miles walk.

no, but you are probably right that I should have just called the police.

dude you had 0% chance of catching any flack for helping the kid out...

worst case scenario you drive him home and his parents aren't there...and you have to wait there with him for however long it takes his parents to get there so you can tell them how lucky they are their son stumbled upon a nice person and they're lucky the police didn't get involved

7 is too young to leave children unmoderated...you can't just leave your house and tell little Timmy to stay put and you'll be back in a few hours...

Maybe the police should have been involved...

Bravo, Rain Man!

I used to have a nightmare about my son running away from me when he was little. The freaky part was that he'd stop running away after I frantically yelled at him to stop, but the little fucker's eyes would flash (like the alien in Predator) and then he'd smile deviously and continue running away.

:deevee:

To gain a successful conviction they have to prove elements. To charge him and ruin his life wouldn't require much.

It's a messed up situation. In this day and age, how many 7 year olds are "miles" away from home by themselves? How many 7 year olds are allowed to walk "miles" away from home? No parent at home to answer the phone? The kid walking up to a strangers house to ask for a ride? Don't 99.9% of parents ingrain in their child's head "never go to a strangers home".

I think Mr. Rain Man behaved in an exemplary fashion. Most guys would have taken two Cinnabons, stuck them on the little girl's ears and said, "Hey! You're Princess Leia!"

FAX

wtf??

you guys are ****ing paranoid idiots...

Unless the parents and their extremely talented 7 year old actor son decided to try and set up Chiefs Rool and try to paint him as a sex offender in hopes of ruining his life for some unknown grudge...

this just never would have happened...

does Chiefs Rool have some child molester beard going on he's not telling anyone about?

If a 7 year old kid walks up to my door and asks for help...I'm going to help him/her.

IT'S A ****ING 7 YEAR OLD YOU LOWLIFES. Jesus. What is wrong with everyone?

If you are concerned call the police. They should know that a 7 year old is miles away from home, by himself, and that nobody is even home in the first place.

Look at the typical mom reaction from this thread:

" I would probably flip out a tad being a parent, if a stranger drove my child home. It would be my child I flip out on, however, not very bright on the kids part, even asking. "

You don't think there is a good chance that when the parent begins to flip out on the kid, that the kid embellishes the story a bit to try to get out of trouble? "The man saw me and asked me if I wanted a ride, I didn't go to his house ..."

I know if i get lost in a mall i'm going to hang around by the cinnabon shop until Rainman rescues me from peril.

I think there's a good chance the parent would never even be aware that it happened. A parent who doesn't know where their 7 year old is 24/7 probably isn't going to care whether they bummed a ride from a stranger.

To be honest, I left out that part for time purposes.

That's why you call the police.

statistics show that more ice cream is sold during the cold months than the warm months, fwiw.

I'm not disagreeing with that, I'm disagreeing with an adult, probably a good man, refusing to help a child in need because he's afraid Chris Hansen is going to pop out from behind the bushes and tell him to "have a seat over there".

Meh.

Maybe in your paranoid world...

I'd at least take the kid home, try and talk to the parents to see what was up...and then if they had a "don't give a shit" attitude I'd consider calling DCFS if I was REALLY concerned.

I hate that this is what the world has come to. I understand it with all the dumb ****s out there, but it's sad that you can't just see a lost child and want to help without worrying that you are going to get arrested.

To gain a successful conviction for murder they only have to prove 3.

You folks are ignoring the practical reality behind childhood sex cases. You can actually commit a sex crime and have a 50% chance of getting out of it. Prosecuting child-sex cases is an extremely difficult task. The evidentiary burdens are quite high and the courts recognize this. Prosecutors don't just go throwing those charges around just because a crazy parent or over-zealous cop said you did something untowards.

If they're going to prosecute you, they're going to need evidence in place beforehand. Just exactly what evidence could they have that he kidnapped or sexually assaulted a child? The kid could flip out and say he did, but I'd say dropping the kid off at the front door kinda overcomes that. If a case is going to be based on nothing more than circumstantial evidence (as this would've had to have been), there's simply not enough of it here to make the needed inferences. The parents could lose it - but who cares? Angry parents does not evidence make; it's not their call to prosecute.

Sure, I suppose the prosecutor could forego it if they chose to, but prosecutors offices don't make it a habit of wasting resources on goose chases. Furthermore, they don't stay in office long if they do.

Every day you leave your house you could somehow unwittingly fall into one of those "I know a guy..." stories. That doesn't mean it's anywhere close to likely.

As I have said - if this is how he wants to live his life, he probably shouldn't leave his house. He's no more likely to be prosecuted for kidnapping here than he would be for assault if he helped an old-woman cross the street. If you want to be a callous asshole to everyone you meet on the less than 1% chance of it going wrong for you, be my guest.

Once again - the golden rule failed miserably here. I will continue to treat people like I would like to be treated. He can continue to be a paranoid dick and justify it as though he lives on the set of Law and Order. To each their own.

WTF?????

You are ignoring the fact that he didn't want to even be accused of anything. It isn't about conviction percentages. That's why Rain Man immediately sought the help of a female.

I'm with you.

What exactly did you think he meant when he asked for "a ride home"?