Maryland man glued to Wal-Mart toilet seat
 

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/04/06/mar...ex.html?hpt=T2


Police in Maryland are on the hunt for the perpetrator of what appears to be an April Fools' Day prank that left a man glued to a toilet at a Wal-Mart store.

If caught, the jokester who doused the seat with glue at the Elkton Wal-Mart on March 31 could face second-degree assault charges, said Lt. Matthew Donnelly of the Elkton Police Department.

Police, along with the Singerly Fire Co. and the Cecil County paramedics, were called to the scene at about 7 p.m.

There, they found the 48-year-old victim, who called for help after realizing the sticky situation he was in when he tried -- and failed -- to stand up and leave the superstore's restroom, Donnelly said.

It took responders 15 minutes to remove the victim from the stall, but they were unable to disconnect the toilet seat from his body, Donnelly said.

Instead, the victim was taken to Union Hospital of Cecil County, where the seat was detached. He left with only minor injuries to his buttocks, Donnelly said.

Police do not suspect that the victim was specifically targeted, but that the incident was a random prank, Donnelly said. They have not received reports of glue-laden toilet seats since.

I've heard of this before.

Cruel prank.

Sounds like someone got butt hurt

Boy, this country sure is going down the crapper

I do everything I can to avoid taking a shit in a public bathroom. No way I would sit on a toilet in Walmart.

Bare ass on a Wal-mart crapper? Yikes

Didn't this man LOOK at the toilet before he sat down?! It's a good idea to look at the seat in a public bathroom before you sit down...people seem to enjoy peeing and pooping on them, especially at walmart.

You'd think he'd see some kind of wet, shiny substance on the rim and he'd say "oh I don't want to sit in that."

THIS. Seriously. And since the type of glues that wouldn't necessarily be visable tend to dry instantly, surely there had to be some sort of visable goo on the seat. Did he just not notice? Not care? Did he think, perhaps, "there's some sort of clear goo all over the toilet seat - I bet it'll be good for my skin"?

:shake:

Didn't someone do this themselves before and tried to sue the store?

Or, after you sat on it you might think, "hmm...why is this seat all slimy? I think I'll stand up immediately rather than just go with it and find out after I'm finished."

Wal-mart? cmon, of all places... that would be the most necessary for an ass-gasket.

The last time I took a crap in a store was at kmart and they had toilet seat covers. I'd never crap in a public bathroom without one unless I was about to shit my pants, even then I'd cover it with tp or hover.

And I am justified once again in my decision to never use public restrooms when I have to shit.
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That should be a felony

Me too but shitting my pants isn't one of the alternatives. :D

I wonder how they removed it and what kind of glue it was?

ROFL & :thumb:

If it was Gorilla glue the guys ass is still stuck to the seat.

we did something similar in college in the dorm crappers. We used silver nitrate stolen from chem lab. it doesn't harm you at all, but turns skin absolutely ink black. We called it black assin people.

This. I'm not saying the guy got what he deserved, but man, who poops at Wal-Mart?

I've always heard that fingernail polish remover is the best thing to use for unsticking yourself with superglue.

well, if in fact it was superglue.

Only in extreme cases, and I mean about ready to explode.

heh, sometimes you cant wait......just sayin..

The worst is when there are like 4 or 5 stalls and they all are clogged with various forms of diarrhea and excrement.

yep ...acetone.
dries the skin out something awful though. bet the guy's rubbing his ass down w/skin lotion, now.
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thanks for the boner.

Here is my question.

Superglue dries fast......how in the hell did someone else put glue on that seat and get out of the way in time for him to sit down while it was still wet?

My assumtion was that they layed it on thick, so that the glue might film over, but still have enough there that it will be wet underneath. When ass hits the seat the glue bead will break and ass will start becoming one with it.

ROFLROFL

Looks like we might have a serial gluer on our hands.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9911744/

might not have been just superglue...those fiberglass repair kits come w/a mix and a tube of "hardening agent" that you add before applying.

one time i mixed up a batch and poured the whole tube in, then read the directions that said to only add 3 or 4 drops. got that shit all over my hands, and couldn't get it off. tried everything in the house(except nail polish remover:banghead:). wound up setting off some kind of chemical reaction and my hands started burning like hell. i was the only one at home, so i jumped in the truck and headed for the emergency room, pretty much steering w/my wrists. stopped once at a house on the way to use their hose to water down my burning hands. their f@cking dog bit me.

made it to the e.r. and they poured nail polish remover over my hands while i rubbed them together. got that shit off, but they were burned pretty bad.

not a good time.
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alright who did it?

Ouch. I do wonder how you manage to sit and not notice that your ass is at least mildly wet though.

That's just dumb. I despise our litigious society.

It took all of 15 minutes for someone to crawl under his locked stall door before he could rot? This bitch needs to be dropped off in the Canadian Rockies with pouch of deer jerky and a pocked knife.

Give ya something to cry about.

Elkton, Maryland Police Department has reported they have determined a person of interest. If you have any information to the whereabouts of this man please call Crime Stoppers.

When using public facilities...... Always Protect-O your Butt-O

http://users.erols.com/napier.interport/pullup.jpg

Felonous laughter.

...

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleim...pics/Irony.png

Maybe they used Elmers and he read a few newspapers while enjoying the roominess of the Walmart stall.

ROFL You sick ****er.....ROFL

LOL he called the shit poop :LOL:

At least you didn't take advantage of the situation and try to masturbate with the glue on your hands.... that would have been my downfall....

Dumbas@ wipe down the seat before sitting down or use the paper... Either way... ROFL

LMAO that's about the only thing that went my way that afternoon.
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How cool to put super glue in someones blow up doll, huh?

I think if someone is ****ing a blow up doll they have enough problems. Just leave them alone. :)

You would think that the seat being wet would set off alarms...

Lol. My buddy is married to a crazy women imo. I saw on drunkenstepfather someone is selling miley cyrus blowup dollas, three achey breaky holes listed on the box. So want to buy that and stash it his wifes closet. But she would probably divorce him for it. Would be hella funny though.

Exactly. Who the **** doesn't LOOK at the seat prior to shitting. I always cover the seat with toilet paper or something, if I must go in a public restroom.

Me either. That's why I use their sink.

ROFL

Some funny stuff in this thread.

Funny thing about this is the guy was using the handicap stall and was perfectly healthy...



Justice had been served!

always, always hover in the public restrooms.

strengthens your glutes,

saves the humiliations.


just sayin.

I hope this dude had something to read at least.

I don't know how some people can say that they NEVER shit in public though. I mean it's not like I enjoy it, and I try to avoid it a all costs, but if it's either that or being in physical pain, or shitting myself... I'll find a way, and I'm a big ****ing germiphobe.

One time my boy dropped a deuce at Buzzard Beach. Couldn't ****ing believe it. That is the absolute nastiest ****ing bathroom in the entire world, and it doesn't even have a door. LMAO I know Tea Drops was closed, but man, go ANYWHERE but there. :shake:

I really don't think I have. Ever since like 3rd grade elementary school. Thats when I saw someone had taken a shit everywhere EXCEPT for inside the toilet. I swore off public shitting from that point on.

I take a couple dumps a day at work, which is essentially a public restroom. Really pisses me off when someone pees on the rim or scatters 3 or 4 pubes around (who sheds that much???). I always look and wipe with toilet paper if there is any visible material or if I have any doubts. But once I've done that, I don't give a second thought about sitting down. I mean, it's my ass.

I wouldn't want to have been the medical personnel that had to get that guy's ass unglued.

There's no way the dumbass could have wiped.

My restroom at work is the same way, it's generally pretty clean though. It's a one seater, and we have cleaning supplies under the sink. EVERY time before I sit down, I spray the seat with the Clorox cleaner stuff and wipe it with paper towels. Never can be too careful.

Mine gets used by college students. About once a week I'll have to wipe it down extra good. But I'm pretty sure I won't catch any diseases by sitting on a seat after I've wiped it down.

Oh I'm aware it's excessive on my part. But it does give me peace of mind.

Wait, since when do you have to be able to stand up to wipe? ROFL

His ass was glued to the seat.

How's he getting to it to wipe?

Between his legs?

Awfully tough, since they're probably glued as well.

:spock: A couple a day? I take like one or two a week. Shit, sometimes I go a week without one.

I like to travel light.

Just another reason why I put toilet paper down on the seat before I use a public toilet.

This is probably for another thread or something.... I'd venture when a colon has been stretched like yours, you can go a week or more.

Like Seedy, I dump at least twice a day - sometimes 3-4x depending on what I enjoyed the previous evening.

I would be one miserable bastard if this were true! Hell sometimes I don't make it through a meal before I have to go and wouldn't want to trade.

Taking a shit for me is good but looking for a way heal myself from the kidney stone.

Dude, those ****ers are a serious pain.

Go see a doctor man.

Dude, you really need to work on speeding up your metabolism then.

Did you pass it or do you have more? Go to the doctor and have them try to pulverize those things before you pass them. Yeesh.

Damn dude. That doesn't sound healthy at all.