I have food poisoning...
 

Tips? I feel like death.

Treat it just like a hangover.

Pedialite to keep hydrated.

Lots of water, and let it pass out of your system. You could be down for a good 24 hours if you have a bad case of it.

The one time I had it, I literally thought that I was going to die, lol. After I evacuated my bowls, all I could do was curl into a ball on the bathroom floor. That tile was so cold and felt so good.

Hang in there.

puke, crap, repeat........

It's rough, but it'll pass. Definitely agree with notorious...Pedialite works well.

I've had it before, so I know how it feels. Good luck

This too.

Eat a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray

Surprised it took this long.

http://images.oreillyauto.com/parts/.../afz/af888.jpg

Do you know for certain that it's food poisoning? What type of food caused it?

LMAO

Thanks Chet.

:clap:

He pukes, you die.

when I had food poisoning I took a glass of water and put a tablespoon of ground cumin and ginger in it and drank it all in one gulp and stopped me from throwing up. Also made me less nauseated.

If it lasts more than a day or two, you should see a doc...I had a nasty case a few years ago that turned into gastroenteritis (which you'll need antibiotics for) - knocked me out for a good week.

hope you get better soon.
hope it doesn't develop into uromysotisis.
or even worse, Count Choculitis.

Wet wipes help some...

I don't know for sure...but I felt fine, ate at my favorite bbq place...then last night I started feeling like shit...cold sweats, no sleep, constant diahrrea...but like, I can't just shit it all out it comes in small doses and sometimes it's like I'm shitting water...i haven't puked but i really never puke...either way i feel fatigued and awful, no appetite of course

Stop eating pizza out of the trash where you work.

Thats all I got.

Make sure you wipe your diarreha soaked asshole with 60 grit sandpaper. That will help the burn.

You could just have the flu?
When I get the flu I always blame the shit I ate the night before, then I will never eat it again.
Lucky for me I have never eatin pussy the night before I got the flu.

Any pain on the right side or tender spots? What was the name of this place?

have you ever been punched in the jejunum before?

No not really...I did have some stomach pain a month ago but I believe it was stress related due to a job transition.

Hickory river...it's in Illinois I've ate there hundreds of times.

I have no idea?

Is it still one of your favorites?

I haven't been punched in a long time...I felt totally normal until late last night...my stomach is rumbling a lot and I'm either dehydrated or running a fever...I'm drinking a large gatorade now

ROFL Nice.

Not right now I'm throwing my leftovers away if I can ever get out of bed

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guaranteed cure: drink 8oz of antifreeze on the rocks.

What did you order?

Chicken nuggets at McDs nearly killed me a few years ago. I'll never eat at McDs again, even the smell of the building nearly makes me vomit.

I felt like Jesus was trying to rip the devil from my soul. Definitely try to keep hydrated, I had to try all kinds of fluids before I figured out warm salt water was the only thing that would stay in me for more than 5 minutes. All I could do was lay around in the fetal position, take hot showers, and keep turning the heater up and down between cold sweats. Passed in about 24 hours, but it took a couple days before I felt normal again.

Turkey

Vodka will kill any bacteria that dares to invade your stomach and GI tract.

How long after you ate did you start feeling sick?

Incubation period for foodborne illnesses is generally 8-10 hours with some exceptions.

Stop eating your mom's pussy. :evil:

Follow that with a bunch of probiotics. Saurkraut or kimchee juice if you really want to take it up a notch.

I'll bet you got it from eating undercooked Chiefs.

Wait.... didn't you recently professed your bible thumping hatred??

Damn, so if you're a stoner and munching down ten different meals in a day, you won't know which food got you, huh?

It's hard to get food poisoning from Cheetos and Ding Dongs.

Yes he did. Last time I did that I was sick as hell for 48 hrs.

Unless it was made in China or Mexico.

Ding Dongs aren't made anymore jackass. ;)

That's why its so hard to get food poisoning from them. Derp.

Then explain your inclusion of Cheetos other than the fact that the crunchy ones are too damn awesome to ever cause harm to anyone or anything.

You have not had a quality food poisoning experience until you have burst vessels in both eyes from bouts of violent vomiting.

Yeah, but just mentioning the name was a low blow. I'm having to seek counseling over this hostess crap.

ROFL

If that were true, it would kill you as well...

Be thankful it's not a kidney stone

You went to a barbecue joint and ordered turkey?

You deserve to die, honestly.

Comcast's Revenge. Enjoy your three days on the pot...