What tha ...? 2nd day straight that the mormons come knocking
 

They are nice enough people but let the conversion efforts cease, please.



I may have to answer the door naked next time or something.

They'd like that

That doesn't work. They're onto that trick. You have to answer the door naked with a chub now.

Next time I'm coming to your house, I'm totally pretending to be a Mormon.

I opened the door one time (slapped some clear eyes into my eyes for some effect) and answers the door.


D bag on a bike: how's your day sir

Me: *sniff sniff* uh ok uh just found out my mom and dad divorced *sniff sniff*

D bag on a bike: I'm very sorry to hear that sir, is there anything we can do to help

Me: *sniff sniff* no there's nothing I told my brother he was going to get caught but didn't listen to me. He caught him and now they both hate each other I don't have any family

D bag on a bike: I'm very sorry, we're all family sir. You're welcome to be a part of our family

Me: *sniff sniff* do you have a sister brother?

D bag on a bike: you have a good day sir, hope everything is okay and gets resolved.

what if andy reid knocks at your door??? he's a mormon too. :D

:eek:

You obviously didn't scare them enough the first time around. There aren't many mormons around here but I have ran off plenty of preachers in my time. For hire. Just sayin~

Perv




ROFL

Mitt is out of work and needs something to do. Try to be kind...

And people wonder why I have a copy of the Necronomicon lying around...

When I delivered pizza, I had a guy think it'd be funny to answer the door naked. I was not impressed. The dork didn't even swing the door open, he hid behind it, for which I am thankful.

Every time they say Mormon, correct them and tell them that it's pronounced Muslim.

Bet you wouldn't think it was so funny if it wasn't one of those guys at the door but it was the cockroach in the Orkin commercials

Tell them you only want to join the Warren Jeffs sect that lets you **** multiple underage girls.

Then slam the door in his face as he stammers out that that is no longer officially sanctioned.

Put a Virgin Mary statue on your front porch. Works on Jehovah Witnesses too.

Tuck up yer' nuts and just use the ****ing hose on 'em...

answer the door with a huge plate of spaghetti next time.

;)

That will actually work. we get them out here too and I always just tell them we're catholic and they trundle off into the sunset politely. No, we're not catholic.

What did you do? Show em' your tat?

I'm kidding Bro.

Did you offer them a Coke or a beer?

Have to have your pants on backwards.

midget mormons scare me

I was visiting my dad last summer and his girlfriend was living with him at the time. She had a 13 year old son who was staying there as well. This kid was a terror...a real shithead. One day the mormons came knocking and his mom got up to answer the door. When the kid saw who it was he got up and left the room. I didn't know what he was doing, but when he walked into the living room with a large life-like dildo I almost pissed myself. He went to the door and said "Mom, I found this in the laundry room, do you want me to put it back in your dresser?"

The two guys at the door immediately left. No questions, no words...just left. It was epic. She flipped.

ROFL

That kid is my hero.

I had JW knock on my door one day. They handed me something to read and I flipped to the very first page. Watchtower, huh? Not interested I said.

Someday I'm going to schedule a Mormon and a JW to come to my house at exactly the same time. I'm going to tell them that both of their belief systems sound very intriguing, but which one is the truth? I will then grab my bag of popcorn and sit back and enjoy.

They like to come to my apartment at around 930am, its always on days i get to sleep in. I just about flipped shit on them the first time, i stopped answering after that but they continue to come.

In this rare case, I would rather it be mormons.

Worthless without pics. And not of the dildo.

When I delivered pizza, I took a delivery to a mormon. He had a 5 in his hand and stretched it out to me. As I tried to snag the bill he pulled it back and gave me a leaflet instead stating this is far more valuable. So after he closed the door I knocked again and asked if I could trade him the leaflet for the 5 and he slammed the door. Loving people they are.

Anti-freeze

Seriously

No one offered this suggestion?



Slackers :shake:

Had some Mormons come knocking on my door this morning for the first time in months.

I ignored them, they went away and went back to sleep.

They are looking for Manti Te'o's girlfriend.

I lived in Utah four years. Its best if you keep quiet and carry on around them, especially the foot soldiers/door knockers.

Or just walk back from the liquor store back to your hotel room with a 30 pack.

Its time for a surprise dutch oven.

Damn. This post alone is worthy of the Hall.

Seriously...the movie 'Problem Child' comes to mind.

Oddly enough...I've never been visited by a Mormon or JW.

I just leave my rottweiler outside, no one come's to my door EVER

my grandmother used to answer the door, and make her false teeth nearly fall out of her mouth, then make a weird noise and clatter them together whilst humped over. They would bolt within about 5 seconds.

grandma ruled.

Just tell them you are a gay Muslim and they will run away screaming. If you have a camera, tape it and put that on YouTube, you will become a viral sensation.

Youre not very good at telling stories. WTF happened to the pizza?

Well we gave it the business if ya know what I mean.

So they just called to promote their religion & stiff you with the pizza?

knock on his door and when he answers tell him "I hope you like pubes on your pizza." then walk off.

I dunno if they ate it or not but they insisted that I take the leaflet. I dropped it outside their door after they slammed it the 2nd time.

I was like you're doing it wrong guys.

they spent all their money on name tags, and black ties. that shit aint cheap.

LMAO

They are looking for Manti's GF

Gated community/

disconnect the doorbell and install one of these.
works like a charm! :D

http://www.tcnj.edu/~hofmann/humor/Misc/doorknocker.jpg

LMAO ^

Open the door and let a few big assed moths out. ask them if you mind measuring them with a tape measure. they will leave.

keep a set of these handy, near the door and answer it.
http://www.wellpromo.com/upload/upim...and-252301.jpg

ROFL - this place is killing today.

Should’ve wiped your ass with it and stuck it back in their mail box.

Just tell them you're jewish and they'll go away.

I hate people who try and push their religion on someone else, their intentions may be good but it's annoying. I don't need some one telling me what to believe in and why I should. Most the time these fools don't even know they are intruding idiots

I might just throw a jihad on your ass for this post.

One time when I was a kid the Jehovah's showed up and we were working on the farm. My dad told them they could talk as long as they were scooping shit in the pig shed.

A few years ago they came to my house when we were working outside on a remodel and I told them the same thing(insert shoveling dirt and chopping tree roots).

They declined.

Yeah those JW's are sure lazy these days...

That reminds me... Why do some idiots think it is cool to hang plastic nuts from the back of their truck?

Truck Nutz spells class with a "k".

http://www.trucknutz.com/graphics/rearview.jpg

Maybe they thought you were Te'o's girlfriend? Isn't he morman?

Or...

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/BTnseAgCBqI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

ROFL - my mind went back that news footage of a drug bust, where the reporter is relating what went down and the CSI in the background strode out of the home with a ginormous dildo flopping out of the front of a box of stuff.

EDIT: Google is your friend, and googling 'drug bust dildo' isn't as scary as one might think.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wU_2ssQ3Y0U" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

The house at the end of the block has been tenements for Mormon missionaries for several years. I literally could take out a window with a rock from my front door. Never received a house call, while JWs are a regular twice a year thing.

Ironic, as I would be amenable to talking with them, being a 'Jack Mormon' member of a church that is little more than a non-denominational social club at this point.

Don't know why, but that reminded me of a long, nearly forgotten, memory. Late teens at Bannister Mall. I was idly browsing that little home electronics store by Waldenbooks, and some random guy out of the blue told me the he had been moved by the spirit to tell me that if I accepted Jesus as my savior right then, my eternal salvation was assured. Told him what I have told all that try to evangelize me, "I have my own faith tradition which I hold dear, but thanks for the effort."

I think I would just answer the door, smiling, and pretending to be deaf. As the leaflet is passes to me, I would hold up a finger- as to suggest "oh. Hang on a second"...then hand him a Chinese takeout menu. Wave good bye, the entire time I'm closing the door.

...smiling the entire time.

I would get a Mormon and jw to come over to my house where i would say you both have good ideas tell you what you two fight each other whoever wins i'll join your church. Then while their fighting i'd call the cops on them and say their trespassing on my yard. Problem solved.

Te'o is a Mormon. Just tell them that you'll hit them up on Twitter. Then cease to exist.

I guess they think Catholics crucify people on their lawns. I tell them I am Roman Catholic and they quickly move on.

They have a lot of territory to cover. They would be there all day talking about Mary, the Pope, transubstantiation, indulgences... They would have to spend all day just at your house.

I would gladly have debated them had they mentioned Jesus, but they did not. They thought themselves clever the way they were handling it.