LNBS: "Beast mode." **** you, Seattle
 

I realize this is my "DOLPHIN WEARING A FOOTBALL HELMET" moment because I've posted about this a couple times, but it deserves to be brought up again this week.

Seattle has a really unintelligent fan base. And I don't mean in terms of football. It's clear they're not deficient in that area. I mean in terms of intelligence and creativity. They have none of those two things.

They've got a pretty good RB who runs hard. Good for them. They want to give him a nickname. Skittles is funny. But no, they want something TOUGH-sounding. What would do the trick? Here's what they came up with:

Beast Mode.

Is that from a video game? No, that's God Mode, which is far cooler, but it wouldn't be as accessible religious people, I suppose. Or a movie or something? Is that like what the Incredible Hulk is? It's not, is it? You just thought that would be a good name for him. I get that Lynch was unstoppable in that 7-9 year where he raped the Saints. That doesn't give you an excuse come up with a shitty fan name for him and then force everybody else to use it, too.

Your stupid fan base couldn't **** that up any harder if they tried to come up with a scary name for their defense.

OH WAIT THEY DID. Legion of Boom?

Did you know that Houston Rockets fans had a name for Chandler Parsons? They called him Chandler Bang, like Chandler Bing from Friends. Why? Because, uh... Bang... he's really good at sports? Or something. Like you know... Bang! The sound you get from firing your gun in the air because Parsons just made a 3-point shot!

Legion of Boom is worse than that. It's dumber than that. It's almost as dumb as Beast Mode.

I just hired the same 8-year old that comes up with crap for your players to give Chiefs players some names. Here's what he came up with:

Alex Smith: Iron Man
Jamaal Charles: Speed Demon
Dontari Poe: Great Wall of Pain
Eric Berry: Really Really Good Football Player
The Chiefs Defense: Joint Chiefs of Boom

Go fist a cow, Seattle.

Where's the beer?

Ill take direkshuns whore mother for 1000? Or, wait it's gotta be your bull,

I actually like Great Wall of Pain. Am I stupid?:sulk:

I wasn't able to dumb myself down enough to make them as bad as Beast Mode.

Take a ****ing ativan and relax lol

Smith, Charles and Berry were pretty bad. I chuckled at Great Wall of Pain and Joint Chiefs of Boom. Couldn't suppress the creativity I suppose.

And to be clear I'm in no way advocating we call him that. I just chuckled.

They should just call him what he really is:

Ugly as **** human being mode.

I mean, I know football players aren't all supposed to look like Tom Terrific; but Kurt Cobain post-shotgun may be a better looking person.

He is pretty good at the foozballs though. And eating skittles.

I think it's Beast Mode like the Transfirmers in Beast Wars..?

I could be totally off, though.

I bet he has gingivitis.

Iirc they started calling him beast mode in college.

I can't deal with all this change. clay going all homer. Shun going negative. SNR starting LNBS threads?

WTF

Wow. Not sure if I should try and answer your obvious reverse troll questions or just troll you. We Hawk fans didn't officially name Lynch's running style "beast mode", he did. Yea, it seems childish until you watch him run. He doesn't go down when hit or when a couple of 300+ pound lineman pile on his back. He keeps moving forward and stays upright until the O line can push the pile another 2 - 10 yards. Lynch also has a propensity to run over D lineman, linebackers, stiff arm D backs to the ground etc. Beastquake was legit. He ran over several Aints players and the fan reaction caused seismometer readings in the sludge under the HAwks stadium to register and earthquake. Ergo "beastquake".

I don't know if trying to troll here would be wise. That would end badly for you sir.

YEAH HE'S REALLY GOOD AT THAT SHIT. LIKE A BEAST KNOW WUT IM SAYIN N WHEN HE DOES THAT TO DEFENSES HE'S ALL LIKE IN BEAST MODE ABOUT IT YOU DIG

And it starts.....work the body SNR!

Hitler started hating Jews in college.

Focus. Work the troll. I'm playing hype man tonight.

Truncated Cuboctahedron is a ****ing sick nickname. That's what we should start calling Houston.

Dave, I didn't know you were allowed to drive pussy-gettin', ass-whippin' V8 monster machines like the IROC in that pussy libbbrrulll state of yers!

That's ****ing awesome dude

Name for Dontari Poe:

Mother****ing Coelacanth!

http://images.nationalgeographic.com...20_600x450.jpg

And on the other side, we have Tamba 'Great Rhombicuboctahedron' Hali!

Damn, those just can't go up against something as sweet as Beast Mode.

Need someone with photoshop to throw some Poe hair on that bitch; but I like it. Rolls off the tongue.

ROFL

SNR is in Beast mode tonight.

fixed

We could always start calling Houston 'Lift Off'; if we want to stick with Seattle-level clever monikers.

"God" mode offends my sensibilities, I move to strike any religious references from the ChiefsPlanet calender.

Lets go with "Chump Mode".

Not sure how to respond to this, but um, as a hawks fan, beastmode run real good. Have u seen him run real hard and good? He dad it. A much. Then earthquake so name him earthquake but then fans loud to beastmode cause he run hard good like beast. Beastquake!? He run good beast mode. Flippity floppity floop.

Justin "The Harrier Jet" Houston: The Mother****er Who Goes in All Different Directions.

Good, although I'm still partial to Truncated Cuboctahedron.

Im personally fond of 'The Land Breather'.

And its tamba 'aggressive arms' and Houston 'the land breather' converging on Wilson.

I am actually shocked that it's taken me this long to come up with the name Joint Chiefs to describe Hali and Houston.

We can name dee ford boo. He runs away when looked at.

Coelacanth Mode is going to forcibly rape Beast Mode on Sunday

The "LOB" was propagated by Seahawk fans. If you watched any Hawk games over the last 3 years you would have noticed that the defensive back, corners and safeties knocked the stuffing out of receivers and running backs. Brandon Browner was the instigator of this, Kam Chancellor was a close second. Google them and see for yourself. Watching Browner knock out recievers / running backs and SS KamBam knock out lineman was something to behold. Kam is now the enforcer but hasn't played to the same level because of offseason hip surgery, dude just isn't the same. The LOB WAS real the last couple of years, this year not so much. Guess that's what happens when most of the guys leave for greener pastures and the others get hurt.

I actually like that one too.

**** it. We're doing it. Joint Chiefs of Staff = Chiefs defense

2 modes enter; one will be extinct.


And the Coelacanth ain't going back to that shit.

OH I GET IT. LEGION OF BOOM. LIKE "BOOM I JUST HIT YOU REALLY HARD"

THANKS FOR EXPLAINING THIS ONE TO ME. YOU SEEM NICE.

Joint Chiefs of Blast!?!? /Seahawks fan

Ohhhhhhh. "Boom" is the sound it makes when two players collide!

All this time I just figured they were hounded by an army of boom microphones.

http://newenglandfilm.com/files/imag...mpole_4091.jpg

Yea, probably will but I'm Ok with that. This site is awesome and the people that post here are hilarious. Like any site, there is a thread of truth with most posts and the abuse I'm going to take is worth it.

LMAO

Seahawks are called that because they are hawks; which are birds that live around coastal areas. You'd know that if you studied ornithology. The Pacific Ocean is a sea. It is a very large body of water. You can google maps of the world if you want to know more.

ROFL


Dontari "The Hippo" Poe.

http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content...ontari-poe.jpg

http://www.redorbit.com/media/uploads/2012/10/hippo.jpg

You get it. You will do fine here.

WHERE IS THIS THREAD OF TRUTH?????!!!!



WHERE!!!!!!!!!!????????????

Its uncanny!

Is reverse trolling like reverse racism?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait waitwaitwait WAIT.

The Seahawks is a FOOTBALL team of HUMANS that just CALL themselves birds?

OMG THEY NEED A THEME SONG

Stomp, clap. Stomp-stomp, clap.
Stomp, clap. Stomp-stomp, clap.
Stomp, clap. Stomp-stomp, clap.
Ahh-aa-aa-ahh
The eagle's born out of thunder
Ahh-aa-aa-ahh
He flies through the night
Ahh-aa-aa-ahh
Don't you mess with his eggs now
Ahh-aa-aa-ahh
Or you'll see him fight
Ahh-aa-aa-ahh
Yes, we have feathers
Ahh-aa-aa-ahh
But the muscles of men
Ahh-aa-aa-ahh
'Cause we're Birds of War, now
But we're also men!
Birds of War!

ROFL

Well, that's stupid.


Why aren't they called "The Ospreys"?

They even have the same facial hair.

Birds can't stomp.


I don't know if Bird-Men hybrids can though.

lol its funny because his head is shaped that way.

You would think a penguin could.

I'm fairly certain they dress up as birds when they get home and **** their wives. Something about thicker shells on their eggs if they glue feathers to themselves and flap their wings while doing doggy-style.

Is it doggy style at that point? Winged style?

Well, that will satisfy Direckshun's furry fantasies.

KAMBAM

Speaking of the Rockets. Wasn't there also a name for the Hakeem Olajuwon-Ralph Sampson duo for the Houston Rockets in the 80's? Ugh, what was that?

They make their wives dress up in dog costumes, so yes.

Some sick inter-species mating rituals these ****s have, but that's what happen when you make pot legal. People just lose their goddamned minds.

Googled it.

The Twin Towers

BECAUSE THEYRE TALL LIKE THE BUILDINGS IN NEW YORK

Holy ****. lol

He's hungry for interior linemen; not marbles.

THIS HIPPO HAS PIZAZZ!!

ROFL

UUUUGGGHH

I didn't see that the first time.

Jesus ****. That is fat talk right there. So gross.

Kambam.

Get out of me.

The HippoPOEtamus is the animal responsible for the most human deaths each year.

It also marks its territory by defecating and spinning its tail, flinging poop chunks everywhere.

Earl Thomas the III?

More like Earl Thomas the Coastal Sea-Habitat Bird!

James Carpenter? More like Jesus Was a Carpenter!

Russell Okung? More like Russel O-fwoom!

For the sound the running back makes when he runs by, primarily due to Okung's superior technique in runblocking.

Yea, it was just that back in 89 when I bought it. Since then I dumped way to much money in it, ran bottom 12's 15 years ago and it has been parked in my garage for the last 5 years without moving. Your obviously old enough to know what it is, but when was the last time you saw one that looks better than the day it rolled out of Van Nuys and can knock out low 12's to high 11's on street tires?

It currently has AFR 195 Eliminators, 350 CU SB, custom hydraulic roller around .620" lift and 270*s at .050 lift. Runs good for a non LSx engine. My hobby isn't some POS sitting in a trailer park. The fuel delivery is handled by and SLP T-Ram intake / fuel injected. I would guess the intake is worth more than your daily driver...

Beast Mode stems from an interview with Lynch. They asked him to describe his mentality, his running style. He simply replied with "Beast Mode". It's the state of mind that he runs with and why he is so damn hard to bring down once he gets going.

Justin Britt?

More like Just In Tits.

Max Unger?

More like Maximum Hunger!

J.R. Sweazy?

More like I.R. Baboon!

Does anybody remember I.R. Baboon?

FYP