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Advice from pet owners....serious question here
(https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=300235)
Advice from pet owners....serious question here
Would love some input from parent on here who have Special Needs children/adults who have pets......we have a male Shitzu-Pekingnese mix that has been a dear member of the family for about 18 years now....we got him when he was just 8 weeks old and he has been the constant companion to my kids when they were young and more of a comfort animal to my Adult Special Needs son over the past 6 or 7 years.
My son and this dog have this bond....the dog has always sensed when my son was having a troubling moment and would sit near him or on his lap. But the last couple of years have been a bit of a struggle......especially this last year. Pepper, his name, is much more feeble, has trouble seeing well, has what one vet called "Doggie Alzheimers" and struggles with incontinence. Most of the time now he stays outside on the back porch or in the gazebo. My son struggles with seeing him this way and at times refuses to even go outside to see him for fear of what he might find. On the flip side, any discussion we have about "doing the right thing by him" ends up with my son getting upset. My wife and I struggle with what is the right thing to do.....continue to let a dearly loved member of the family still struggle out of comfort for my son, or end the pain for someone who has brought a great deal of joy to us for the past 18 years. I told myself that i would never let an animal get to this point, but I also know how this would deeply affect my son. Anyone else ever have to deal with something like this? Any input would be greatly appreciated. |
Any chance you could get a new pup BEFORE you make the difficult decision to have him put down? Giving your son a chance to bond with the new dog might make it easier for him to cope. :shrug:
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He might change his tune after Pepper passes...but right now he wants nothing to do with another dog. |
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I do recommend paying for a home vet to come to your house and put the animal down at home. They are much more calm and at least they go where they are comfortable. That is probably the best advice I can give. Now on when to do it. That is completely up to you. I thought I had waited to long and should of done it sooner. Until the day I was suppose put her down she fought it the whole time. One of the worst and sickest feelings I have ever witnessed. She knew what was up and even though she could barely walk and had never ran from me she took off out the door and tried to sprint as far as she could. Made it down the block and I had to carry her back. She even tried to bite the vet as they tried to give her a sedative before the final shot. I guess if I could do it again I wouldn't listen to anybody on when is the right time. The dog will let you know when they are ready to pass. If you are questioning it then it probably isn't the time. |
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There are days i look at him and I think i see him telling me it's time. And then other days he has a little more energy and I think he is trying to show he is better. This period of time is why I told my wife I didn't want to get close to an animal....but i wouldn't trade the 18 years of joy he has brought my family for anything. |
Does your son understand that everything dies? If so, explain to him that your pup is very old,in pain and that it's not fair to him to let him suffer. I recently had to put down my boxer. The night before, I had a sending off for him. I fixed him a nice meal and the Mrs and I spent the evening loving him. Maybe you can do something similar to help ease the pain.
Good luck to you and yours in this difficult time |
Man this is a very tough situation. Our dogs can tell if something is wrong with our special needs daughter also and it's crazy.
I have no idea what I would do in your situation. Prayers your way. |
Maybe get YOU a new pup not him. See how it goes from there.
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Its tough, but the dog is clearly not in the best shape. My personal opinion is to put him down. I also like the idea of you getting your son a new PET. Maybe it doesn't need to be a dog for him anymore. Maybe branch out, may be different for him, but it could be a good thing.
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I have found that my loved dogs I have put down hung on past the time I should have let them go...I feel they were hanging around just for our family....Made me feel selfish for waiting...The only advice I have is try not to wait too long and prolong your son's and your dogs suffering...So sorry for what you are going though...
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Why does the dog like to stay outside the the majority of the time?
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If a pup is too soon maybe get a hamster or something small that he can watch and still pet. I'm not a cat person but maybe a cat?
Prayer sent for you to make the right decision for your family and pet. |
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Ah, I see. Put the dog down before the son finds him dead in the summer heat would be my choice. Don't make the son suffer through a grieving process any more than necessary. Extending the dogs life at this point is extending the son's grieving. Death is inevitable and sometimes it isn't fair. But in this case that shitzu had a hell of a run. 18yrs for a dog is one hellava stab at life. Sounds to me like the dog was a champ at life. |
A man took his dog to a zoo. The dog was the only animal in the whole zoo. It was a shitzu.
Sorry for your situation. I am in favor of getting a new pet at the proper time. Maybe calling it your dog would be the best choice to ease your son into the situation. Pets are awesome and make life better. |
Thanks everyone for your input....everyone was solid on views and opinions and I can't thank you enough.
I'll update you as I make my decision. |
Since your son is a special needs child, what has the doctor/whatever said about the dogs loss and its effect upon you son?
The whole life/death cycle for special needs children can be difficult. Since there is that special bond, can he sense any changes in the dog? Is this something that you can discuss with him. Man, I don't envy your position one bit. |
If the dog is isolating itself and losing control over its bowel and bladder functions it may be at the point where it doesn't have much quality of life.
With that said, it's obviously a complicated situation. I don't know the extent of your son's disability. I'm inferring that he knows about life and death but that this is more of an issue of letting go. I have a daughter with special needs, but she is still very young (four), her disabilities are primarily motor-related, and I don't believe that either she or her sister truly understand what it means for someone or something to die. I'm really very sorry that you and your son have to go through this, but I also believe that if you care enough to solicit advice over an issue like this you will make the right decision. |
Damn I'm drunk and caught a feel trip at 3 am. Sorry man I have really nothing to offer here but my good vibes sent your way for
You and your family. I will say 18 years is a hell of a run. |
In my experience, the absolute best thing to do when a dog dies is to get another.
Every time, I said I didn't want another, but having that new dog gives you a sense of responsibility and purpose that allows you to recover quickly. The love you had for your old dog quickly transfers to the new one. It'll be tough, but not nearly as tough as seeing a beloved pet suffer with no chance of recovery. |
There is some things in life that you never have closure on. I would try to have an open mind that there maybe long term emotional scares from this situation. This sounds like it could be a long drawn out thing. Whatever happens your heart is in the right place even though it hurts like hell. I am sure you will have this story in your back pocket for someone else on the do's and don'ts.
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He also is very acquainted with life and death....his maternal Grandfather passed away when he was 4 years old and he was very very attached to him. My son struggles with death....even something as little as his beta fish dying set him back emotionally to the point that he will not go into a pet/fish store anymore. Everyone here has been very supportive and offered some great advice.....I do appreciate it more than you can know. |
Just an update for everyone.....we all made the decision that it has come to a time that we feel the quality of life for our family friend has gotten to the point where we don't want him to suffer any longer. We had the discuss with our son and even he agrees now that it is time.
So....one day this week my son will come downstairs, hug his best friend, say his goodbyes and hand him over to his mother and myself. I just want to ask that you say a little prayer or send some positive thoughts for my son as he deals with this. |
Good job dude. Brighter days will be ahead of you.
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Prayers sent tonight. Getting another pet WILL ease the burden. We just had to put down a cat that my daughter has had her whole life (16) . The cat had stomach cancer. Probably from eating my wifes cooking. The Labrador is turning 9 this year and will be next. You will get through this.
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Prayers with you, another pet sounds awful until you spend time with a new pup. Then it rejuvenates everyone.
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Hope son is taking it ok.
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I know it's hard but you are doing the right thing....... prayers sent to your family....
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Man sorry to hear it has finally come to this, but way to man up and do what is right for the dog. I have been in the same position several times and it has always been some of the hardest times of my life. Looking back now, as hard as it was at the time, it was the right thing to do. At this point I have two Doberman's and an Aussie. One of my Doberman's is starting to get up there but is still in great health and goes running with me every morning. The day I have to go through that with her is going the be a really really long day.
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its time.to let go. its a hard lesson, but one that must be done.
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In time, after you grieve, I'm sure there will still be a lot of love in your hearts to share it with another dog. |
if it makes you feel better...my buddy will be 9 in Jan and I already heartbroken that he'll be gone sooner rather than later.
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As most of you know, my son has autism. He is a very loving boy. Very sweet and caring.
My dad and I have raised the same blood-line of bird dogs since before I was born, (50 years nearly). I grew up with these dogs and I've loved every one of them. Every time we have to say goodbye, sucks so bad. This all put on the table... The dog is eventually going to die. It's up to you to be the man to not only explain this to your son in a way he will understand that it's best for his dog but to also do what's fair and right for this poor dog. I'll quote this poem that's stuck with me since childhood. A good dog takes the time you can share, the love you can share and the food you can share. In return, they give you everything. Do what you have to. You and your son, (with some work) will find a new dog that will be able to take over the progress pepper made to help your family. I highly suggest you take your time during this process but you'll know in your heart when you find that special dog for your awesome kiddo. |
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I'm sorry for your loss. Enjoy your last few days with your bud, but know that you'll be his pal until the end of time, even though he is gone. |
Well.....today we finally all said our goodbyes and took our companion of 18 years to the vet. I am not going to lie....this sucked!!!!
He took his final car ride peacefully sitting in his carrier with the top off of it so my wife could pet him along the way. We both cried....not going to lie about it. |
Sorry for your loss, man. I've got three dogs (the oldest being 12) and I'm not looking forward to the day that she goes.
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The way I looked at it was it was the very least I could do for them, end their suffering, for everything they did for me. Good on you man for doing the hard thing. |
Sucks.
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Sorry for your loss..
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Have your son write an obituary for your dog, tell about the good times maybe it will console him to remember them. Just let him know that the dog wants love as much as people do and its wrong to withhold that and be selfish. You'll get more than you will ever give anyway, best deal man ever made with an animal. They do dig out a hole in your heart don't they |
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