Feeling Down Today
 

It looks as though I'm on the verge of falling out with a close irl edit*(in real life) friend that I have had for 7 years. I can't really go into specifics, but mixing work with friendship (even when it happens naturally) is a difficult balance.

I'm pretty down about it. Does anyone have experience with this type of thing and want to share? I could truly use some perspective here.

Also feel free to use this thread to post gifs or anything funny - or not, it could also be a roast of all things Chiefspants.

inb4 - "Chiefspants has irl friends?!", "Who is Chiefspants?" and "A concoction of antifreeze will ease the pain."

Thanks, everybody.

Masturbation should cheer you up.

I don't know how old you are, but family is the only thing that is a lifetime commitment. Everything else comes and goes.

I'm on the early side of 24.

(You weren't in before)

PIIHB

This could salvage your friendship.

I've avoided going into business with close friends for just this reason. I've always tried to keep my professional and personal lives as separate as possible.

It's a lesson I'm definitely going to heed in the future. It was hard to evaluate those kinds of risks since the business venture started when I was around 18.

My dad taught me early on to never go into business with friends.

Of course, I didn't listen and went in on a musical item with a friend at age 15, which turned into a disaster and pretty much led to us having a falling out that lasted decades.

I learned my lesson the hard way, as most of us tend to do in life.

Good luck, man, and hopefully, it won't be decades before you reconnect.

I'm sure you'll be able to find someone else to run the weed eater while you run the lawn mower.

with a close irl friend

Please explain to an old guy-what this means? I am not hip to you young whipper snappers jive.

I can't offer bad advice until I have all the facts.

Absolutely. It means a friend "in real life". Making this friend distinctive from someone I may know only on say, Reddit or Chiefsplanet. I'll edit the original post.

people grow apart...for whatever reason

I've lost friends i thought I'd have forever.

...it sucks, but let it go.

don't let it become a regret by wasting time on lamenting and hanging on.

Okay -gotcha- as opposed to an internet girlfriend you talk dirty to-that turns out to be a dude. :D

Well as an "old school" guy- if you are my true friend-i will give the shirt off my back. And I have.

But things are Much different now-friendship does not mean the same. I have learned that the hard way- as I have grown old and watched my friends-close as brothers only think of themselves. Just recently asking friends and family to help me stop the abuse of my grandson-I was ignored. 40 year friends-acted like I was some beggar with my shine box.

I don't think it is just a generation thing either. I think it is acceptable now days to be selfish and turn your back on anything that does not instantly appease your inner child.

What was the your question again? :) I am sure that does not help at all. See what I did there-ignored your problem and made it all about myself and my pity party.

Here is what you need to do, and it is a bitch. Rain falls on the just and unjust alike. So shit falls apart for everyone. You are not alone so don't blow this up to be something that it isn't. The sun will rise tomorrow and you will get past it. Your battle in life is 100 percent mental. If you can cope with your brain or come to realize that everything out in the world is just bullshit and the real game is how to look at situations, then you are on your way to getting past this shit. Evaluate why you feel bad or down. Does this hurt your money, does this hurt your social status? Oh ****ing well that shit will come back and leave again, what stays is your character or integrity. So get out a piece of paper and have a plan and start working that plan until all this is behind you. If you **** up on your plan try to get back on course quickly and know that most people just do dumb shit all their lives then get aids and die. Thanks for the rep and you can paypal me money at any point.

I agree with you, stevie. It's difficult to let go but it's better than being the only one who wants to hold on. Some people let pride or something else get in the way of their decision to not maintain a friendship. So, if they want to walk away, wish them well and move on.

I got underwear older than you.....:D

What are you 15? It's not fam, significant other? Who cares?

Pretty much.

This too.

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Everybody knows don't get into business with family (says the douchebag farming his family farm). It really means that business is inherently risky and sometimes doesn't work out and you need to walk away. Accordingly, you have to be prepared to walk away. As such, you can't do business with people you aren't prepared to walk away from.

As far as recommendations, my recommendation is to set emotion aside, and be open and honest about communication, expectations, and what went wrong.

Be amicable the entire time and maybe your relationship can be salvaged.

Best of luck, man.

For a little background on the business side. The venture is actually going well. Quite well, much better than any of us could have envisioned as teenagers. We're not rolling in the Benjamins by any means, but I feel confident in saying the work we do is effective and serves a real purpose. Our problems have, ultimately, grown the more we have expanded our operations.

To those saying "who cares?" You're right in a way and I fully understand where you're coming from. This guy was one of my truest friends and someone I worked with almost every day in some the formative years of my life. I know I'll be okay, even if we don't talk again, but today I've been hit relatively hard with this development.

Guess he isn't a true friend then. His choice to be a friend.

Word.

I have no friendships in my professional life. That life is just that.

Or make you hate your job

tldr...

and grow up. You're 24. But you're acting like a 13 year old girl with a Bieber poster on her teeny bopper wall...

Always works for me. :thumb:

Well, I told you masturbation would help because I thought you were either spelling girlfriend wrong or the "g" key on your keyboard didn't work. I think it may also be useful in this scenario, but for different reasons. :)

Also true.

Never feel down. I'm almost 3 times your age and I will promise you one thing, the path is always upward. Every relationship that has ended has been replaced by a better one. Every friend by a better one. You know why? Because from such endings comes experience, and wisdom and the ability to better discern people that are not only great people but compatible with what makes you the best person you can be.

Experience is a great teacher after the fact, but you can learn from others.

Great advice. I've found the same in my experiences.

and too bad you can't pass that knowledge on.

You should take support from you family members in this case. Because they are your best friends. And you can share everything with them. Henceforth, the outside member can't do anything about this matter. So it's better to share with them.

Not all families are close and maybe that is what is bothering OP so much that he felt like his bestie irl friend was more like family member than friend.


I don't tell my brother everything that's bothering me or when I'm really down I tend to isolate from family. So reaching out here to unknown people may have been his best option because when you are not thinking clearly reaching out is a way to go.

He knew he would get some smart ass remarks and I think he embraced them just incase so in OP he did a pre notion for those. I admire the guy for reaching out here I really do and it was quite frankly a brave thing of him. Because people are assholes waiting to pounce. It's true.

This. The biggest **** I know happens to be my sister.

Would it help if I piihb?



I would do that for you Buehler445

I'd prefer it that way. At least she couldn't get pregnant again.

Is she psycho? Cuz I can spot a psycho. The other night I worked a unit and a RN came in at 3am and I thought hey not bad defiantly had an attractive look and body. So in between my 30 minute checks I started chit chat with her. That was a mistake I soon regretted. She wouldn't shut the **** up and went on about an ex shot her in the leg with buck shot and I'm thinking I could imagine why as she went on about her personal life. Psycho RN on the spot.


So none of my business why you don't get along just wondering if I would get along with her?


Oh and no more babies for me I'd rather be single than with a girl who wants kids.

I've tried to teach my kids this from their birth. Family is the only thing you're born with and die with. Everyone and everything else comes and goes.

I didn't realize it until I was in my 30's and you start to put on your big boy pants and see that everyone is out to get theirs, but family are there for life.

Sadly not everyone is blessed with family to count on. That's where friends can become like family.

She's psycho.

Bummer

Ok but I'd still piihb if it help because we are pals and all. What are friends for?

Life moves on and the sun will rise and set tomorrow. The Chiefs are stuck with Smith for another year at least...

Had a severe falling out with a friend years back over a failed business venture that we had both risked much on. The devastation over the failed attempt was magnified by the loss of several friends. I tried to hold onto the friendships. We are still "Facebook" friends, but the desire to actually get together and hang out is gone and probably not coming back.

Best advice I can give is to move on, forgive any injustices that were done to you whether they are sorry or not, and forgive yourself for whatever part you had in it. No use hanging on.

Oh geeze trying cheer a guy that's down up and you bring this into the thread?

Why don't you just pass out razor blades and teach us how to slice an artery?

Thanks Debbie Downer.

Nonsense man:shake:

Why do you gotta be a dick about this to the guy?

He is feel down which is natural considering the circumstance he is involved in.

He is just trying to reach out and is asking for other people's perspectives about his situation. Where did he act like a 13 year old? That's just you being condescending and you expose yourself as not the greatest person to talk to in difficult situations. I certainly wouldn't rely on you for advice that's for sure:rolleyes:

Forgiveness is powerful stuff. Forgive them for your own sake and let go. Not just forgive but also let go and move on.

Nice post wazu

You CAN but they have gotta trust you and listen

So you are saying you can't pass it on then :D

Basically.


And since I've been in business I have hired and fired no less than three of my best friends.

They knew when I fired them they all deserved it and we are still the same friends we were before. I've been lucky.

Thats a tough deal, kudos to you for being able to handle that and still maintain the friendship.

We are dudes... The rules:

If he hit on a girly you liked, hit on your actual girl , hurt your family or stole from you walk away.

If it is something else, confront the issue and get on with your friendship.

Women hold grudges for years over stupid garbage, Men can scream and yell, even fistfight, and forget everything once its settled and its never brought up again...

If you are truly men, which you are at 24, tell him why you are upset and fix it. If he doesn't want to fix it then move on.

Good luck... you can't buy the knowledge you will get from this experience.

Oh it gave me a reason to drink too much for a couple days leading up to it each time, that's for sure.

I got socks older than you.....

You should NEVER need a reason.... just do it.

I do it my fair share, and a couple other people's fair share too

I drink more tequila than a small Mexican Pueblo...Well did, now that we're pissing of Mexico, I may have to switch back to Crown Royal.

I've only lost one true friend, and figured it was permanent. But after ten years she showed back up, we apologized, and we're pals again. If it's a true friendship it'll come back.

Just don't PIIHB again, mister!

Pretty solid advice.

Ka'doo's to you from all of us.

Yes, you are right that not all families are not free and open minded. This is the problem himself. So that, he couldn't express everything to them.

Redtube.com will cheer you up.

I think the friend is a chic.

This is where I'd insert a meme of a little guy carrying a fat girl with a quote about him trying to pack her out of the friend zone but getting shut down.

7 year relationship at age 24 WTF dude.

Go out and have some fun.

Gotta be. No one vag's out over another dude.

UnLESS...

We did this thread before.

It was called "Is Love worth losing your best friend".

I've lost a good firend.

This girl he was dating was outstanding. Way too good for his loser ass. So I swooped in.

Lost a friend, found my wife.

If there is something you really want in life, go after it.

Same rules apply in business.

So, underpants is jealous of his buddy plowing his crush??

Note: if having dinner with Hoover, be sure to grab the last roll before he goes after it.

Last roll as in her roll?

He won't pass the butter either

I'm not sure. I've never met his wife.

If you play your cards right she'll already be buttered

That's inexcusable. No one stands between me and my butter. Bread without butter is ... well, it's still delicious, but it's indescribably more delicious with butter.

On a side note, I went to a retirement dinner last week for someone I didn't really know (marketing reasons), and they had the best retirement dinner food I've ever had. I was quite impressed. I thought about that because I was at a ten-person table and I was on the opposite side from the butter, which caused me consternation until someone finally started passing it around.

I feel like making political ads against Hoover now.

Hoover steals dinner rolls. Hoover steals your girl. Hoover has alligator arms at check time.

Hoover, ain't nobody got time for that.

..really small, fast scrolling fine print.
*I've had dinner with Hoover, I do not recall him eating the last roll, stiffing me with the check or stealing my woman.