Ten Things About Last Night's Game Week 8: KC 29 Donks 19
 

Ten Things about Last Night’s Game Week 8: KC 29 Donks 19

10. Yesterday afternoon I left the Round Shiny Object Factory where I work in Overland Park around 2:30, stuck my nose in the house back in glorious Independence to get my tickets and tailgate stuff; then met up over on 40 Highway with my pal Gary to head into Arrowhead. Mrs. Blowfish couldn’t go this week, so Gary was my wing man. Got a text message from Stevie Ray (First Down Elvis) that the wind was stiff and brutal in the parking lot, and he was right. Way too cold to enjoy an outdoor tailgate. So it was bourbon and heated car seats in my Blowfish Lesbo-Mobile, and listened to Keitzman interview Gunther Cunningham. Did you know Gunther never lost to Denver as our head coach? After drinking bourbon for the better part of three hours, I was ready to get my parka on and kick some Orange Denver Ass. One thing I’ll say for the Arrowhead security people: They’re doing a much better job getting people into the stadium quickly. They seem to be better equipped, and the security checkpoint is much more efficient than years past.

9. This game came down to the law firm of Kelce, Peters and Buttkicker. They were the three guys who made the difference. We’ll get into them individually, but these three players, plus Donk Turnovers, was the difference in the game. Everything else was dead even or close to it on the stat sheet. Both teams had 14 offensive drives. Denver won first downs 23 to 16. Chiefs won passing yards 202 to 198. Denver had more total yards from scrimmage 364 to 276. TOP was almost even, Donks 31 minutes to Chiefs 29 minutes. Both teams had seven penalties. The game may have appeared close, but KC’s fast start in the first quarter forced the Donks to play catch up all night. If Denver was smart, they would have just run Anderson on first down, Anderson on second down, slant to Thomas on third down, repeat-repeat-repeat; and they would have scored four or five TDs. I also thought the Chiefs should have gone all Derek Carr on the Donks and thrown the ball to Kelce 20 times. They had no way to stop him like the Chiefs couldn’t stop Cooper last week.

8. Andy’s offensive play calling was frustrating in the second half as they seemed to run the same series over and over. I think the offense went three and out their first three or four series after halftime. It took going back to Kelce to break the offensive funk. Buttkicker was five for five, including hitting a 51 yarder in a swirling wind. He was good for 17 of the points by his lonesome. His kickoffs were very good on a cold night. Just a fabulous job.

7. Kelce has a great night, 7 catches for 133 and a TD. He seems to get extra motivated against Denver. His first catch over the middle looked like vintage Tony Gonzalez. He was as open as a guy can get for his TD pass, and he didn’t get into any extra-curricular BS. Kelce is also an excellent downfield blocker. He was getting after guys downfield. And he’s shown the ability to play when dinged up. Right before the two minute warning before halftime, he rolled an ankle. Basically walked it off and came back and played an effective second half. He was the crux of the offense all night, so having him back to finish the game was big. Kudos to Kelce for an all-pro performance in an important game.

6. The Peters Givith, and the Peters Taketh Away…twice. Peters game showed why it's worth putting up with his baggage. His fumble strip on Charles for a TD was the ultimate in Karma Is A Bitch payback for the last time we lost to the Donks in Arrowhead. Getting flagged for dunking the ball over the goalpost seems petty and over officious -especially since Tony G did it for years here- but rules are rules. Peters pick helped the Chiefs put the pressure on the Donks to play catch up. After that Peters side of the field was shut down to traffic for most of the night. Kudos to Peters for an all-pro performance in an important game.

5. For the Alexsexuals: Alex did not have his best of nights, but he did have some terrific key plays. The pass to Kelce for the TD was on the money. So was a pass to Tyreek Hill with Talib draped all over him. Harris of the Stone Hands People should have had a TD that hit him literally right in the mitts. Which reminds me: Should all our receivers wear yellow mitts like Kelce? Would that help Alex see their hands when he throws? Alex had a gutsy 14-yard scramble to pick up a first down and was only sacked once. When sacked, he did fumble. That was the first Chiefs lost fumble since Kareem Hunt’s first NFL carry vs. New England. Tyreek’s crazy option pass is the first pick the Chiefs have thrown this season. So Hill has more picks than Alex. The troubling stat is Alex was zip for three in the red zone. That has to improve, especially come playoff time. Except for the offensive malaise starting the second half, Alex and the offense did a decent job and burned enough time in the fourth quarter stretch to seal the deal this time. I’m not concerned about K-Hunt’s yardage. He only averaged a little over two yards per carry, but Denver came in as the number two NFL defense against the run. Plus, K-Hunt is a rookie, so he may be hitting the rookie wall eight games into the season. He’ll get his second wind and be fine. Nice to have West back for pass protection as well.

4. Speaking of returning players, it was great to have Mitch Morse back at Center. When the Canadian Doc gets back from his knee injury next week, we should have our basic line back intact for Dallas. Von Miller had three tackles and no sacks, so the Schwartz was with us. Mitchell Schwartz has been an unsung hero on the line. He’s got the longest start streak in the NFL without injury, and he’s a reliable guy. Fisher has more penalties and gets beat more often. Kudos to the Schwartz. Kansas City Star game pictures are here: http://www.kansascity.com/latest-new...181821861.html

3. Semen is freaking awful. It’s such a great thing that the Donks don’t have a Horse Face or Five Head at QB, which makes them mortal. All three of his picks -especially the last one to Acker- were God Awful choices. I’ll bet Denver goes after Cousins next year. They can’t continue with this guy as their QB. If you look at the Denver Post sports page this AM, they’re blaming everybody for the losing, including Horse Face himself. That makes me all warm and gooey inside.
http://i67.tinypic.com/2w5ox1c.jpg

http://www.denverpost.com/sports/denver-broncos/

2. Andy has some Wile E. Coyote in him. That option pass from Hill I’m sure has been talked to death here on the CP. But the truth is, Hill should have either tucked it and ran it, or threw it high and deep where our guy catches it or nobody catches it. If we get a field goal that’s more pressure on Denver to play catch up. Instead, it swung the momentum for a good part of the first half back to Denver and kept them in the game. Murray had another rough night. Right out of the gate he has a block in the back penalty to call back a monster punt return by Hill. Then he gets beat for Denver’s last TD by Darby; although in fairness, why Sutton has Murray covering a tight end who’s five inches taller and 40 pounds heavier is hard to figure. Ron Parker had the most tackles and one pick. It’s never good when your safety has the most tackles. Sorensen leads the whole team in tackles for the season thus far. That means we’re tackling guys downfield after giving up a lot of yards. There’s always reasons to worry, but anytime we beat the Donks, it’s a very good day.

1. So the Chiefs have a three game lead in the division, and the only winning record in the entire AFC West. Zeke looks like he'll be under suspension, so that means we have to stop Dak, Dez and Witten. Kansas City is 1-4 playing the Cowboys in Dallas. The last time we won there was 40 years ago. So we’re due. I think it might be a lot like the Houston Texan game, except Dallas’ offensive line is better, and their defense is worse. Can’t wait for Sunday, we're rollin' baby!

Bonus Thing: I caught a glove from Derrick Johnson after the game. It was sweaty, but it smelled like……victory!
http://i68.tinypic.com/2hf5cet.jpg

Thanks!

Wicked game! Thanks, G! Unfortunately, we are a highly flawed team in a year when the AFC is ripe to be had. Wildcard loser. Thanks George. Sorry guys.

Great job as usual George.

Is that a scratch and sniff glove?

Nice review as usual. Alex Smith, to me, is like that nice girl everyone likes, does and says all the polite things but never excites in bed enough to marry.

It's kinda stinky, yeah...

Here's Mr. Doggity's Report as well:

The Doggity Chiefs Report
Week 8 – 2017
Donkeys at Chiefs
The Head - Kansas City, MO

Overview: Hey, it was a win against a division rival that you hadn't beaten on Monday Night Football since Joe Montana beat John Elway. Speaking of Mr. Ed, that shot of him in the suite, looking all dejected in the fourth quarter really lifted my spirits! Clearly Kansas City is the better team, as evidenced by the fact that the Chiefs played like crap and still won by two scores. I know Trevor Siemien could use a hug this morning, but that poor boy is not an NFL quarterback. He makes Tyler Palko and Brodie Croyle look like the afore-mentioned Montana and Elway. The newspaper said this morning that the Chiefs "forced" five turnovers. From what I saw, they "forced" ONE turnover - Peters' strip-six of Jamaal. The only forcing they did otherwise was to force themselves not to drop the ball. The offense played well at times,but was often out of sync. Denver's D is just nasty, so I'm not going to read too much into that. Solid job - and I haven't even mentioned THE MAN - Buttkicker!

Offense: The offense looked brilliant at times, and completely out of whack at times. The truth is, this is the best defense they've faced, and a great defense can make you look out of balance. Even still, Smith missed some wide open looks that he usually hits. The strip-sack was just a terrible "look-out" whiff by Eric Fisher, who had a pretty rough night. On the other side, however, Schwartz was a beast who almost completely neutralized Von Miller. It was good to see Morse on the point, again. The shotgun snaps actually got to Smith! Fulton may be a fine guard, but he's not an NFL center. Kareem Hunt had a tough day at the office. There was no where for him to run. I generally thought the play calling was pretty solid, but WHAT THE HELL was Tyreek Hill doing throwing the football into the end zone against THAT defense? That was a huge momentum shift that allowed Denver to hang around in a game where they'd been dominated to that point. A Chiefs TD there is a kill shot. Instead it came up empty. The guy who is the Donkey destroyer - Travis Kelce - came up huge, despite a pretty ugly turned ankle. He's a match-up nightmare, and when he's on, he's a wrecking crew.

Defense: Sutton's defense is very frustrating to watch. Denver's offense is just plain terrible. The worst QB, worst line, marginal runners, only one legit NFL receiver. Yet they matched KC yard-for-yard. The run defense was once again gashed, repeatedly. But they came up with the big plays when they needed them. DJ's break up on 4th down all but ended the game for Denver. Houston looked like his old self - confident, tenacious, quick - things he hasn't really shown since week one. The strip of Charles for a TD was all Marcus Peters, who - despite YET ANOTHER stupid penalty - had a good game. It was nice to have Nelson back. Gaines is a serious liability. Acker had a pick - which was a nice read on a terrible throw. He also drew an interference call that was frankly complete BS. Thomas pretty obviously was the instigator of that contact - putting Acker in a headlock. The flag should have gone the other way. Nonetheless, the defense was often out of position, and were very fortunate on several plays where either Siemien missed a wide open receiver, or the ball got there, but the receiver dropped the ball. Including one sure touchdown. I'm thankful Zeek is out next week for Dallas. But this defense with have to play much better against the much better Dallas offense.

Specials: Colquitt was not his usual self, but didn't really hurt the team, either. The wind was pretty brutal, making all the kicks tougher on both sides. Tyreek had a nice runback that was negated by Murray's completely unnecessary holding penalty. Murray is another liability. DAT's head's up and physical play recovering the muffed punt was big. But what can you say about that ramblin' wreck from Georgia Tech - The Buttkicker? Five field goals and two perfect PATs in that wicked wind. He's got that kind of "Sea Bass" attitude and leg strength. I like this kid.

Doggity Dog – There are worse players *cough* (Eric Murray). But to whom much is given, much is expected. Eric Fisher is personally responsible for Alex Smith's first turnover of the year, as well as two false starts. While Schwartz put a lid on Von Miller, Fisher had a rough night.

Give Him a Bone – I have already given a bone to Buttkicker, and a strong case could be made he deserves another, but Travis Kelce deserves some love - not just for playing hurt and having a huge game, but for managing to stay out of trouble while doing it.

The Rest of the West -
The Las Vegas Criminals – I think they brought their last gasp into the Chiefs game. They looked sloppy and very "Raideresque" against the Bills.

The Lost Angel Dolts – Travis Benjamin gets an endorsement deal from Southwest airlines - "Wanna Get Away?" - after he picks up his muffed punt, and runs into his own end zone for a safety. Between that and the turnovers, the Dolts give a Dolt-like performance in Foxboro.

Next up – The Jerry Dome and The Cowpokes.

Your faithful Scribe,
Mr. Doggity.

Great write up, thanks George

This is an awesome write-up. Would love to have a souvenir like that!

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Hey <a href="https://twitter.com/MitchSchwartz72?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@MitchSchwartz72</a> ... did Von Miller play tonight? -asking for some All Pro voters. ��</p>&mdash; Geoff Schwartz (@geoffschwartz) <a href="https://twitter.com/geoffschwartz/status/925204842611658753?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 31, 2017</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Great write up George. I was listening in the combine and missed some of it when we had to tie up a bag. I appreciate your breakdown.

**** Donk Forever. God I hated those cheating ****ing assholes.

It sounded like Donk was trying to “set the tone” (read cheapshotting **** type tone) with that headhunter hit on Robinson and the Late hit on Hill. Good to see us over come cheapshots.

I’m a far bigger fan of him after he left than when he was here.

NTTIAWWT :)

https://i0.wp.com/towleroad.com/wp-c...e1b83b970d.jpg

Epic win.

George I want you to put that glove on and jerk off with it. We will win a playoff game if you do.

Great Job. Hope your employer paid to have you write this. As many are allowing us to comment.

Ewww....

Shh....Ixnay on the korway.....

Butker's nickname should be ..........................





KICKASS

ITYARICBBAR:hmmm:

Great read George. Also Dilly Dilly!

Great write up, and man you ain't shitting, that wind in the parking lot was just brutal.

Smith didn't have his best day but that was a good defense. He needs to play better against better defenses though. Andy's play calling was garbage after that first drive.

Harris needs to be off this team next season.

Great Read Mr. Blowfish :thumb:

fixed it for you

Cool whip

Arrrrrrgh....

Totally agree about the receivers wearing the bright yellow gloves, it almost seems like a bit of a cheat code... wouldn't be at all surprised if we started seeing other teams use them

Your best one of the year!

My god. I didn’t realize we hadn’t beaten them on MNF since then. Shades of Bubby Brister rushing for 30yds on a bootleg and Derrick Thomas’s infamous face mask meltdown flashing before my eyes...

I have the right hand glove. You can see it in this pic from the Star's website, DJ's right hand:

http://i63.tinypic.com/2h5mweb.jpg

Good stuff! It was ugly, but it was a win against the donks!

ROFL who’s the dead (read: good) Donk?

God damn how good are your seats to be able to catch a glove from DJ? Thanks for the writeup, coming to CP the day after a win to read your ten things is part of my work ritual. I do think Justin Houston could have used a shoutout tho. He was a formidable presence all night and constantly putting pressure, one of his better games of the year.

Thanks, George!

Looks like Isaiah McKenzie right after DJ's pass breakup.

Another great write up George.

It is always good to beak the donkeys, but there are certainly some points of concern.

Nice read, thanks. More pressure equals more turnovers me thinks. :thumb:

Yeah, the girl who doesn't give head and hates anything other than missionary.

Great write up. Re: Thing #1, I don't go to many games, but this trip through security was far slower than I remember. Line I was in (Sprint gate) was at a stand still. First time I missed a k/o at a Chiefs game.

The game felt out of reach pretty early on, before that though I was a little nervous and impressed that JC still could spot holes like his younger self.

Nicely done after all that bourbon George.

Regarding #2, your concern about the fact that Sorenson is the leading tackler is a bit misplaced.

The Chiefs are lining up with 6 DBs on over half the snaps on defense, which has Sorenson lining up as a LB essentially, so it really isn't all that surprising.

Your concern should be that Sutton is lining up with 6 DBs so often.

Bourbon and cold weather...a man after my own heart! Great read as always. Do you actually remember all this from watching the game or do you review it later? Cuz damn...

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Chargers started doing that last season. Its annoying because it looks like a penalty flag in the middle of a play.

You bring back the celebrations but the crossbar is a sacred object that shall not be touched! But Leveon Bell can use the base as a punching bag... makes zero sense. I don't know about everyone else that was at the game, but I didn't hear what the penalty was about with the crowd booing it so much until I got home that night and watched highlights on YouTube.

Yeah, I couldn't hear over the crowd. On the radio they said its a penalty because they don't want the goalposts to move. I didn't realize that they were so loose that they could be moved by someone touching/hitting/bumping/etc.

I don't know if anyone else at the game noticed but our defense was out there hugging Jamal Charles during the timeout right before the first offensive series. Not sure how I feel about that. I mean, yeah, loved Jamal and everything he gave when he was a Chief. But he went to our biggest rival and then talked some crap to the media.

Bell got a https://www.sbnation.com/nfl/2017/10...ng-up-goalpost for doing that.

EDIT: and a fine.

Good stuff, George. Those Denver Post links are FUN readin'. That side-armed, sideline bomb that Semen got picked on is the kind of pass that Mahomes can actually complete.
Good god Denver sucks ass.

Great read George, maybe the best I have read, keep em coming.

I didn't see Houston getting any love and I think he deserves some too.

Buttkicker.com must be selling jerseys like no kicker in recent past.

I am going to get on my soapbox and look at the offense, why the **** is the offense not scoring 3- 4 TD's a game? I am disappointed with 5 FGs and one TD. That's not even close with just 1 this week.:#

FYI Hunt Hill has the worst passer rating in the NFL, Poe is laughing his ass off, his career is 118 and a TD! You have to love Andy...:rolleyes:

I do have a suggestion for Diggity. He should give a "stepped in my poop" award. Who would you say earned it this week.:D:D:D

Congrats on the glove, where are you keeping it? With the panties you've caught over the years?ROFLROFLROFL

Use the sweat from DJ's glove to clone a fresh young DJ

Had Smith hit Hill and Robinson those couple times, and Harris doesnt drop that td pass, Smiths numbers look a lot better.

Cant win by kicking FGs though, need to punch it into the endzone. If that was a good team that can score Chiefs wouldve lost that game.

Right now it's topping the tree in my office.

I attended the game and was surprised by:

1) How many empty seats were at Arrowhead
2) The number of Donkey Fans.

It just seemed like a really low energy game for a Monday Night showdown.

It's hip to boycott the NFL but I think there was 5K seats unsold...

Players don't hate each other like the old days. Too much money involved now.

Not as many Donk fans travel when their team sucks.

Free agency as well, they figure they might be playing for the other team one day soon

great write up as always. and i actually mentioned something in the gameday chat about the yellow gloves. can't hurt production, that's for sure.

There is something about those gloves that I believe can be helpful, even moreso for the receiver than the QB

Reach out to snatch a ball, and the target is already lit up for you in neon... seems like it could somehow increase their focus