Lets hear your Alien Abduction experiences
 

If you've ever been abducted lets hear your story. Reports say 1 out of every 100 people have been so that means there's people on this site. I never have been to my knowledge but I have had a UFO encounter.

Bring it.

Wouldn’t want to offend you. Just keep my abduction to myself. Save you the trouble.

I’m not going to lie, but I’ve seen some shit on my way to work a couple times early in the morning. Same spot everytime too. The light goes off and on then zooms away.

Why is it that nearly all the people you hear about having UFO encounters are uneducated rednecks? OP confirms this.

So your saying Chiefs fans have UFO encounters. Interesting

ROFL

I'm sure you've been abducted, probably multiple times . Do you not have any recall ?

Come to think about it, my ass feels sore every now and then when I wake up. Wonder if I’m getting ****ed by aliens?

That's not what Aliens do, that has to be your boyfriend not using lube.

You probably just had food poisoning during the night and got and used the bathroom multiple times and forgot about it. It happens, especially after Ducks Unlimited banquets.

ROFL

Just because somebody’s boyfriend doesn’t use lube doesn’t mean the rest of them don’t.

He has a vagina, so the jokes on you.

#facts

I've never met anyone who has claimed they were abducted. :shrug:

They didn't want to talk about it :redface:

I gave this chick a telepathic anal probe once.

Huh... I figured Rainman would´ve commented on his experince by now.

In another world there is a thread Aliens asking about their experience of being abducted by Rainman.

No, that's the IRS.

Those aren’t aliens. Those are Alex Smiff groupies.

This is exactly why I tagged this as a Chiefs thread, because eventually it would evolve to an alex Smith discussion.

illegal alien?

Most aliens show up shortly after a man speaks the words 'I Do'.

Not yet but with God willing, I'll get to experience an alien anal probing one starry night.

LMAO

You won't like it, believe me.

Unless you're one sick ****er.

On a serious note, there is not a chance, no ****ing way that we are the only beings in the whole universe.

That some think we are the only intelligent beings in the whole universe? A billion+ planets and only we evolved into intelligent beings?

You know who doesn't have alien sightings or abductions? Astronomers and astrophotographers. You know why?

I've been doing a lot of research since I've got more time on my hands and have come to several conclusions:

1)Aliens do exist
2)Bigfoot is for real
3)Bass and Catfish larger than 2 pounds do not exist.

There are a TRILLION planets in JUST the Milky Way

I'm still correct because I added the +. :)

Like, you've counted

Because you can see them coming?

Side note, I'm with Stephen Hawking views on possible alien visits. They are not going to be cute little ET aliens but more Borg like wanting the planets resources.

I worked with a DJ in Columbia that swore he saw a silver UFO land in a farm field about 40 miles southwest of St. Louis. Said it didn't really scare him, but the radio in his car stopped working, and the temperature in the car went up by about 20 degrees.

You’re welcome.

I had had one too many one night two years ago.

As I shuffled along Southwest Boulevard at around midnight, an iridescent purple Chevy Silverado with blacked out rims screeched to a halt in an empty parking space I was walking past.

The passenger door popped open. "Ey mang, joo need a ride?" He seemed friendly enough and I asked if he was heading in the direction of my apartment.

"Yea mang, hop in!"

He gunned the engine and accelerated along Southwest for a brief moment before his phone rang and he answered it. I didn't and still don't speak his language but I knew to listen for 'gringo' but I never heard him say it.

"Hol' on, we have to go by my cousins' real quick," he announced as we crossed Cesar Chavez and up along Jarboe.

Wasn't too thrilled and though I was drunk, the scene from Training Day started to play out in my mind with vivacity and I began to grow concerned.

It worked out, though, because I had class with his cousin and she was nice enough to make me drink two bottles of water and got an Uber for me. Couldn't ask for a better alien abduction story.

1 in 4 people are morons.

That's objectively true.

1 out of 100 can barely tie their shoes.

I'm on the ship right now. Other than the hourly Anal probes and them forcing me to watch hours of casshole & alice shitting themselves, it's not too bad

Hypothetically we could be.

Maybe life evolved earlier on this planet than any other?

Think about the unique things about humans that you can't guarantee would evolve side by side with intelligence. Forget intelligence. Dolphins are smart as hell, but they can't build cities or space ships.

Humans have one thing we overlook, and it's the thing that gives us the ability to build and manufacture the concepts of our creativity.

Opposable thumbs. From ancient killing tools to writing to rocket ships. Thumbs are a bigger deal than people think.

Even if there is intelligent life, there's no guarantee they have the physical capability to build things. You can't build a space ship with flippers.

Yup.

I actually believe 'intelligent' life is less probable than what our intuition tells us. Intelligence isn't really the only thing we expect from 'intelligent' life. We expect something similar to humanity.

Unless you believe there is an intelligent design behind evolution in which intelligent tool-building animals are the end game.

I don't have any reason to think that's the case. Even if it is, I don't think it's feasible for organisms to travel space fast enough to even contact each other.

I don't think we'll ever meet any aliens,but they could be out there.

Quoted for truth. The great filter is the issue I wonder about most, are we through it or does the Fermi paradox lie just ahead?

Because we know what we are looking at :D

And yes more than likely the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy would be the case. They are here to study then destroy us.

Hell, think of the mass extinctions that were required for us to end up with Humanity to begin with.

Had the earth not gone through so many climate shifts, Mammals never become the dominant predators on land, and we may have not even ended up with old world monkeys, let alone great apes and hominids.

Even when I think of this I don't have to go back to the spawning of life and just how unlikely all of THAT is. Just the development of multi-celled organisms indicate that an intelligent tool building species was more just happenstance than end game.

We're more unique than we think we are.

Well, using life on earth as a reference...

The most intelligent animals are predators.

I thought I had been abducted once. I fell asleep one Sunday afternoon and when I woke up I saw people staggering around in a daze with seemingly no idea of what was happening or how to stop the madness. Then I realized I was watching the Chief's offence on tv. :)

I was taken to a place for five weeks and Anus11 was considered an MVP candidate in this strange world.

Because they spend their every waking moment posting dumb crap in DC?

https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7254/1...c823b58d_b.jpg

Astrophotographer ^^^

We need Alex smith abducted before the second half starts.

This one time, I was sitting alone late at night and I cooked up a frozen lasagna dinner. When I opened the microwave, the steam rose from the lasagna and began to speak to me. We fell in love, but we knew it would never work because I was a human and she was a gaseous form and all of our children would smell like sulfur.

Anybody that believes the government is covering up alien abductions is a ****ing idiot. You mean to tell me, the USA and North Korea, or the Israel and Iran are all conspiring with each other to ALL cover up EVERYTHING about aliens. Because we can all get along. There is no conspiracy. I believe aliens exist, but they are not currently present. Maybe they were in the past, maybe they will in the future, but not right now.

My guess is they haven't EVER been here. And you know what, if they do get here, it's going to suck balls. Because that means they are smarter than us. We are DUMB enough to send out signals letting space know where we are. When we have no ability or intellect to yet travel interstellar. It's not going to end well for us if we are contacted by aliens.

Damn Willie, theres a website where you can actually see videos of real UFO's and listen to actual experiences of alien abduction.

It's called www.youtube.com

They are missing one, Sutton

Oh wait he has no defensive

Can't make a thread, but there is some pretty big news coming to light. UFO community is going pretty nuts from this info.

https://web.archive.org/web/20230605...n-human-craft/

Word on the street is that several UFOs have been spotted flying out of Uranus.

Damn, one was drafted 4 1/2 months later

Tell us more about the probing. Primarily concerned with the girth of said probes.

Same thing happened to me except it was St. Patrick's Day.

Is this anything like Penthouse letters?

It was truly magnificent in both length and girth. I would recommend bringing your own lube though. Even with their advanced technology, they haven't figured out the importance of a quality lube

Noted.