Who here uses a bidet?
 

This was the TP isle in Walmart about an hour ago...

https://i.imgur.com/7I3TSJJ.jpg

Thinking about getting a bidet attachment but I'm not sure as to just how well they clean you up back there. For the amount I spend on 3 packages of TP (Charmin Strong 9 pack) I could get an "entry" model bidet attachment.

With people losing their ****ing minds again, WHY TOILET PAPER?!?!?!?, it seem like it might be a wise investment. Never mind that I'm on a septic tank and the thought of less paper going in there is even more appealing.

I don’t but my wife loves ‘em. We have one in every bathroom in our house.

I stocked up while supplies were good. Antibacterial wipes, pulse ox, N95 masks were on Amazon about 6-8 weeks ago.

LMAO, what kind of reerun town do you live in?

Humans are just generally shitty people. No pun intended...

You think it’s just his town that’s had a run on TP this week? Lots of reports of cleaned out shelves.

Forgive my ignorance, but as I understand it, the bidet squirts water around your anus. If so, you then have a soaking wet anus (or more depending on accuracy), right? You just pull up your pants with a wet ass, or does one typically dry of said wet ass with TP?

What kind of reerun towns had this happen?

I have used a bidet for years and I feel like a peasant when I have to poop somewhere without one.

We probably use 75% less TP than we used to. Bidet and one wipe, clean as a whistle.

Amazing.

Staying with you when I come to town.

Thank you.

Not if you get me with an air dryer. Not only is it functional, it’s a treat. Otherwise you just wipe afterward.

it’s a dilemma indeed. Is a wet ass better than one filled with shit?

There are typically hand towels that are meant to complement bidet usage (or at least there are in some European hotels I used to frequent). I believe this solves the wet anus issue without having to leave bits of wet tissue on your backside.

Ohhhhh. My anus’ interest is piqued.

My face is a bidet

Wait, a non-disposable/shouldn’t be flushed towel?

spray that shit out of there. Then heat it with the hidden hair dryer that pops out. No wiping. No wet ass. We need this in our life’s.

There is also a massage mode.

That’s a bit much/gay. * Goes on Amazon, hides browsing history *

Using a good psyllium fiber supplement also makes wipes very clean and easy. The poop binds together and becomes less sticky with the fiber. Usually I can get clean with 1 or 2 wipes.

A Bidet for men. Put it on Amazon. Retire rich.

I actually don't live in any town. This Walmart is about 20 minutes away from my home. There is a tiny grocery store in a village about 10 minutes away but the prices are, on average, 33% higher than at Walmart so I don't go there often.

I'm guessing the same principle applies here...

https://i.redd.it/8asavuhdt6j21.jpg

I put one it about 18 months ago. I give it 5 stars.
After a thorough jet stream to the starfish, I daub off the extra water with toilet paper.
I go through one roll of TP in about 3.5 weeks.

I appreciate the information AND the Oh Brother Where Art Though quote in your sig

I haven’t shat on my balls since that time in highschool.

Hah. You’ll find there are lighted models with heated seats, wash and dry cycles, all kinds of good stuff.

Power would be required. Run an extension cord seems a bit pikey

I bought a cheap one when the pandemic began. There’s no going back.

LMAO D’ya like dags? The cord comes out the back it’s about 5 feet long so you can run it along the baseboard.

Why are people so stupid??? Really ?? again with the Toilet paper?? WTF??

I can *almost* see a pun here.

I'm actually surprised that the hoarders still didn't have massive stocks of TP at their homes from the first hoarding go-around.

I actually paused before submitting to make sure one wasn’t there.

No that won’t work for me.

:D I’m kind of relieved to hear I wasn’t completely off base.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 is the one I got. $35 on Amazon to improve your quality of life.

OK, serious questions here. I've thought about getting one, but:

(1) How do you keep the water from spraying out of the toilet area? I mean, doesn't it splash when it hits you?

(2) If the bidet is positioned in a manner so as to hit your anus, doesn't it get fecal material on it? Maybe not with a solid BM, but what if you have the squirts?

I bought a cheap bidet to see what the fuss was and I'm never going back. It also gets good reviews from friends that try it.


1) it can, usually just a splash on the seat. Most have adjustable sprays. I just use TP when it happens. No biggie.
2) my cheap model's nozzle hangs low and looks like it would be in the way, but it has only been hit once in three years. If there are enough random squirts to hit the nozzle you are going to need the whole bowl cleaned anyway. Some models are retractable.

Pro tip... Sometimes a pre wipe makes sense before you go blasting everything everywhere with max water pressure. And bring the pressure up slowly.

Hahah. You know you’re always welcome.

My wife and I have an entry level bidet. I use a small amount of toilet paper to dry. She uses a little rag which she tosses in the laundry. It's nice. Especially since the toilet water line is right next to several hot water lines we don't get a blast of cold water every time.

Walmart seems to have the worst luck with idiots and TP, went there the other night looking for some and they were picked clean of both TP and paper towels. Simply drove five more minutes down the road to the Walgreens and they had full shelves of both. Not sure if it's Walmart's supply chain or the clientele they attract that is causing the shortage of paper products in their stores.

Probably right, but it will have a cascading effect. The Wal-Mart stories go viral and then everybody goes into freak-out mode everywhere. Especially after last time it'll probably be even crazier. Maybe supply lines will be a little more ready this time.

I have them on all my toilets in my home.....entry level for certain, but works great and would highly recommend them.

Two downsides:
1. It actively encourages house guests to drop deuces at your house (to the point guests are excited to go!), but I suppose that's why I have them on all toilets anyways.

2. When you are somewhere that doesn't have them, you'll understand why you have them in the first place. Almost impossible to "feel clean" if you don't use it. If you're like me, and have to go when you have to go no matter where you are at, this is problematic....if you are the type that only goes at home, it won't be a problem!

I mean, think about it...would you attempt to wash your hands without using water?

Or, if you got peanut butter on your carpet, would you clean it with a dry paper towel?

LOL bidet cult.

You and your ass nozzles....

Aren't you from Europe, or do they not use bidets in Bongland?

Stupid comparison, I don't shit from my balls.

Purchased ours a few years ago from Amazon. Best thing ever, will never go without one again. :thumb::thumb:

JOIN US AND FREE YOURSELF FROM SWAMP ASS.

If you have mud on your driveway, you wouldn't smear it around with a towel, you break out the hose.

If you step in dog doo....you don't wipe your shoes on a mat, you spray them with a garden hose.




At least, I hope you do.....

Can anyone post link to ones they have?

I’d never really thought of one, then I was listening to the fantasy footballers podcast one day and they had some bidet company as a sponsor and all the guys on the podcast said they all swear by them. I thought, am I in the dark on this? Then this thread pops up and you guys act like it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. My Anus interest is piqued now too!

Awesome. Thanks for the info! I'm really considering one now.

I've had one for a few years. They take a bit to get used to, but once you do, you'll never go back. They're a godsend in cases where things aren't coming out as...cleanly...as you'd like.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00P2XZDGG/

But really, it's just a fancy water hose. Provided it doesn't break, there's not going to be a ton of difference in how they function.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120

Pretty easy to install with whatever toilet seat you already have. This one works great. I'm curious to try fancier ones someday to see if they are somehow better, but if you're looking for a low-cost one to try out this is a great option.

You use the "feminine wash" setting?

What, you don't like a nice ball massage? :)


But no. Got it thinking the wife might, but she's not a fan of it for either function.

Doubly piqued now.

We didn't pay this price for ours but this is what we have

https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07B8Y32..._rXPTFb20C8NYR

When I was in Japan a couple of years ago, some of the hotels had fancy ones and it was really pretty nice. We'll be redoing a bathroom soon and I may make a pitch to the wife to get a fancy bidet toilet that speaks Japanese and flashes multi-colored disco lights when you flush.

ditto

Make sure you have an outlet by the toilet

Dang. That could be a problem given the location. Thanks for the advice.

But wait. There is a light on that wall. There has to be some wiring running through it.

Absolutely. That's my barrier right now as well. Wife isn't OK with an extension cord in the bathroom

LMAO

I don't have an electrical source near the throne, and I was apprehensive about cold water hitting my anus.
However - that was much worrying about nothing. The unheated water actually feels pretty good, and doubly good if I had spicy food the night before.

You may want to watch this review. If you want to skip to the actual use, skip to about 5:30

https://youtu.be/SzdqVJ7Vufk

Same here. I thought the cold water might be a problem, but it isn't. That said, there are options to hook up hot water without needing an electrical source. It's more work but I've seen examples where people just run a line from their bathroom sink hot water over. I can't imagine being motivated to, though. An electrical outlet is completely unnecessary for a standard bidet.

LMAO... Read that back slowly to yourself...

I changed the thread icon to something more appropriate. :)

This is what I have as well..

I hate taking shits anywhere without one now. Bought a cheap one off of amazon at the beginning of the shit paper shortage. Use just enough tp to get dried off. I will forever have one on every toilet I own.

Side note: this thread has the same potential as one of my favorites, the ball powder thread.

My son that is 18 told us that he accidently took a shit on his dick..then acted like that was normal and everyone does it...we were all like no, no one does that.

So now his nickname is shit pickle..

https://giantbomb1.cbsistatic.com/up...9166-shit_.jpg

Weird flex bragging that your son has a dick so big that he is able to shit on it.

I almost always (unless I'm at work) shower after I take a dump.

Nothing is worse though when hungover, than the shit, shower, have to shit again 15 minutes later triple threat that happens so often to me.

Not necessarily........but that would explain why the maid staff always looks so puzzled after I have flushed them. Good to know.

I text my wife at work and said when you get home we need to talk about a bidet. She said I don’t know what a bidet is. She’s blonde. I’m sure she sounded it out in her head exactly how it spells.
And when she gets home, I can hear her response “Did you learn about this on ChiefsPlanet?”