The Franchise's Final Mock Draft
 

We'll probably move around a lot more but I'm only projecting one trade up right now.

Chiefs trade #29, #103 and a 2023 4th round pick to the Patriots for pick #21
.
1 (21) - George Karlaftis, DE, Purdue - Day one starter at DE. Obviously has a higher floor and a lower ceiling but I think if you maximize his potential....he's an 8-10 sack per year SDE.

1 (30) - Kyler Gordon, CB, Washington - He's a perfect fit for what Spags wants his CBs to be. I think he'll surprise everyone and start from day 1. Gordon and Fenton on the outside with Snead in the slot.

2 (50) - Travis Jones, DT, UConn
2 (62) - Jalen Tolbert, WR, South Alabama
3 (94) - Josh Williams, CB, Fayetville State
4 (121) - JT Woods, S, Baylor
4 (135) - Erik Ezukanma, WR, Texas Tech
7 (234) - James Houston IV, LB/DE, Jackson State
7 (243) - Gerrit Prince, TE, UAB
7 (251) - Ryan Van Dermark, OT, UConn
7 (260) - Shermari Jones, RB, Coastal Carolina

Karlaftis is your starter at DE with Houston being a chess piece that you can move around. I think we still sign that veteran DE after the draft to round out that defensive end group.

Sign me up!

I have a (likely irrational) hard on for the CB from Pitt in R3 - otherwise I'm on board.

Mathis?

He’s a really nice sleeper.

Okay, now a trade like THAT doesn't suck.

There's like 7-8 CBs that I would be ****ing ecstatic with if we got them. I just like Josh Williams the most in that 3rd-4th range.

Yep.

Love me some twitchy athletic freaks with an attitude at CB.

Didn't read, bet it sucks.

I'm again concerned that someone has misspelled Calvin Austin.

Losing 103 stings a bit because I'd be FLOORED if McCollum is there in that spot and the Chiefs don't take him. I mean he is just a letter perfect fit for Veach.

Without 103, I wouldn't be surprised if they took him instead of Williams at 94. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'd be surprised if they didn't.

You’re like the miserable kid trying to ruin everybody else’s Christmas today.

Did your wife stop giving it up recently or something?

LMAO

Just get her fake cans.

They turn that knob back up to 11, brah...

No, very happy.

Clearly I'm the miserable one here. Some of you guys are too wound up. Take a breath, masturbate maybe. I dunno what your thing is.

In year one, Austin is probably a return specialist with a handful of offensive plays in a package. The idea being, I suppose, that next year you let Hardman walk and Austin is the new Hardman/Hill midget speed merchant.

I don't hate the idea.

Doesn't include a trade up for a WR. Not reading.

Cool.

You should still get her fake cans. They're awesome. It's like breastfeeding boobs that aren't sensitive all the time and won't squirt you in the eye if you make a wrong move.

McCollum and Williams are 1A and 1B at this point for me.

Noted.

Mine is 8 years younger than me, so her appetite is still insatiable.

It's on the schedule, gotta get the youngest a little over for the recovery period. She still likes to be held.

I'm not entirely convinced I have a strong preference.

I just think that Veach will.

Dont' let her overeat

What?

So, like....14?

You marry the ass. You buy the tits.

Anything else is a rookie move.

Dude, if you’re going to dish it out, learn to take it! I’m just giving you shit too. It’s all love.

LMAO

She’s 25.

I married the organizer and life partner.

Get the tits and ass elsewhere.

Get with the program

Sure my man.

Luckily one of the positives of social media is that younger women almost all work out these days.

Math is hard.

This thread is about 3 posts away from re-starting the Mock Porn Star Draft from like 2016.

Can't out run a bad diet

So THAT'S why dentists only hire hot hygienists...

Is there a ****ing store y'all go to to pick up solid 8s who seem shockingly attainable?

I blame O.city's grumpy ass.

Hello Fresh is great. Gets her to cook and eat fairly healthy.

They come to us. We're a lonely very easily duped lot of guys.

I mean, he's a dentist. You'd be grumpy too if your hands were in the mouths of Southwest Missouri's finest all day, err day.

Lemme tell you about the most terrifying conversation I've ever had.

"So...it's Christmas and you've been talking about how hard it is to find time to get to the gym. Do you...uh...want me to get you one of those mirror things for a home gym?"

She was either going to love the idea or murder me where I stood.

It worked out. Bet man you'd better be real careful reading the room there.

Side note - that thing really is great. I even enjoyed it before I broke my shoulder and got out of the habit. But she hasn't missed a workout since we got it (January of 2021) and depending on how hard you push yourself, you can really kick your own ass.

It's nobodies fault but his own. Missouri isn't the only state that has missing teeth.

Debbie Downer's about to bust a chubby.

LMAO

Those things are outrageously expensive....but I did get my wife a Peloton.

I'm really liking JT Woods hoping we can get him if we don't take a safety earlier

LMAO That’s great. Glad that didn’t go sideways for you!

It wasn't any more expensive than the peleton if I recall. Or at least not prohibitively so. Something like 750 vs 900 I think?

The nice thing is it doesn't take up space. I mean we could've gotten rid of the treadmill but I need that stupid thing to put the damn rottweiler on when he won't calm the hell down and it's raining or cold outside. Damn spaz dog will sprint around the house then go jump on the thing and stare at me until I set it to an incline and run him for 5 miles.

yeah, that's the one! That guy!

Also in my 'what I want' draft.

I thought those things were like $2k.

We're hours away from Jameson Williams being a chief, I'm happy as ****.

Looks like it's $1,350 for one at the moment. Shipped and 'installed' (i.e. a guy shows up with a screw gun and mounts a single bracket on the wall).

I'm pretty sure it was cheaper when we bought it a year ago but hell I dunno. I was gonna get that college ass back that she had when she was on the dance team. Cost was of secondary concern.

I need to come down there and have you put your hands in my mouth.

I ****ing hate going to the dentist, might as well both of us be grumpy.

The amount of reeruned Chiefs fans who want to trade up for a WR is too damn high!

I've come to a horrifying realization.

I don't really want to trade up to 15ish to get him.

But I REALLY don't want the Chargers to stand pat and get him at 17. And that would just be the most Charger goddamn thing to ever happen. Every year some guy slides 5 picks longer than he should, falls to them and everyone's like "What a home run selection!!!" as though any one of us wouldn't have sprinted up there to take Derwin James or Rashawn Slater.

Can somebody make things difficult for the Chargers in the first round? Ever? Please?

Come on down. Make it a late appt and we'll crack a bottle of bourbon after.

If he falls....there's no way the Eagles pass on him at 15. Hell....I'm not even sure the Texans pass on him at 13.

You try the little sonic scraper water gun thing they have instead of the medieval hook?

Hundreds of years of advances in knowledge of the importance of dental hygiene and those guys are still just scraping shit with sharpened spears.

The sonic cleaner thing is way better.

Uh, yeah. Wouldn't be ideal.

I want the Chiefs to go up and get him just to see Pest's head explode

You're probably going to be disappointed. I'd be pissed for all of 5 seconds.

That is unless he trades both of those first rounders to do it. Then **** Brett Veach.

Sounds like a plan. I'll check the wife's schedule - pretty sure she has a SpringVegas trip coming up for work - might as well do it then for the work subsidized hotel room.

I'd be annoyed if it were something like a 1st and 2nd this year, a 2nd or 3rd next year. That would be stout and really put a damper on what we can do from a depth perspective on the DL, IMO.

That said, I'd get over it. Fairly quickly, in fact.

Because while I'm not an enormous Williams fan (most of his highlights are him running downfield with nobody within 5 yards of him), I do recognize that the kid is (was?) an insane athlete and has incredible potential in this offense.

So I'd eventually talk myself into it.

My buddy thats a root canal specialist was talking about his ultrasonic tip that can be used to "explore" nerve chambers for extra canals in a root canal system.

Thought I'd give it a try.

They're pretty aggressive and I ended up thru the side of the tooth. It was cracked and we were gonna extract it anyway but I wanted to try this first. It didn't work.

My reaction

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and yet, what good does it do them?

Now if it's Christian Watson at 29 I'd be pissed. And if it's Skyy ****ing Moore I'd be apoplectic.

But it won't be. Either of them. No worries there.

Not gonna lie - it's been a while. The move to PHX didn't help, and I just now found a new PCP after coming back. Dentist hasn't been high on the old priority list.

Your boy has a sensitive ****ing mouth, to the point they have to shoot me up to clean. If you're telling me I could avoid the shots AND the ****ing hook?

That indeed would be a gamechanger.

I'm going to talk myself into pretty much whoever we draft. It's what I do as a Chiefs fan.

You'd have a Williams jersey ordered by tomorrow.

I would as well so I can't laugh to hard.

Yo, I think I'm good, thanks anyway.

LMAO

Seem pretty high maintenance. Probably should find a different dentist than myself.

I'm starting to think all you assholes are the same and just interested in inflicting as much pain as possible LOL

Hell, knock me clean out if you want and have some fun.

It's a sound/sensation thing for me. It isn't necessarily that there's pain, it's that the process gives me a ROARING headache.

But not with the ultrasonic thing.

Ask around. My dentist still has theirs but they don't ask me if I want it anymore because evidently it's not super-popular. I love it so I request it. At worst you give it a shot and don't like it and you're not out anything.

And get a Soniccare. Those things really are the shit. My checkups have been 1000% better since I got one of those back when they first came out and cost a zillion dollars. They're pretty reasonable now and really cut back on the amount of scraping they have to do.

The only rookie jersey that I've bought was Mahomes. I don't buy rookie jerseys normally and I wouldn't for Williams.

I can get you one pretty cheap if anyone wants a brush. I'm an Oral B guy, but can get Sonicare cheap.

https://oralb.com/en-us/products/com...c-toothbrushes

Bought one about a year or so ago. Think it's the Diamond Clean model.

Mathis isn't talked about enough. I'm willing to forgive his cons (which are coachable) in exchange for his explosiveness and the fact that he hits like a strong safety.

Pretty solid...except Jones at 260. I don't think he'll make the squad.

Booth
Elam
Gordon
Woolen
Bryant
Taylor
McCollum
Armour-Davis
Josh Williams
Mathis
Evans
Sam Webb
Watson

All dudes I'd be happy with. Give me 2 off that list and we're good.

honestly, I like Metchie about as much as Williams, and we can grab him in the second.

One of these guys is not like the others :hmmm:

I like Metchie as well...but I was referring to CBs with that list.

Bryant?

The one that's a DE?

God damnt...I meant Sam Webb. Bastards.