Bathroom tactics and farting in front of women you just started dating/seeing
 

I always had this fear of going over a girls house (when I first meet her) and blowing up the bathroom with a huge dump. or getting gas pains and having to fart to relieve them.

People of CP. tell me your horror stories in here.

Is this what you meant when you said you got shit to do today?

Nah, I already blew up the shitter about an hour ago after coffee. now I just cant stop farting. and yes, I am actually heading out now.

I'm coming to the east cost to show you a few things. Expect me around 6 today, and I'd like a guest room with the smell of lemon.

I doubt I'll ever be welcomed at a bash event after this thread.

ROFL

I'm old fashioned, I'll leave the room if I have to fart.

And I'm a complete privacy in the bathroom kind of guy. I don't want you in there when I'm doing my business, and I don't want to be in there when you do yours. That's not any kind of "intimacy" I'm interested in having. If you can't handle that, if you get some kind of abandonment issues because I don't even want to hear you pissing, much less shitting, then you need to find another dude.

It's the craziest thing. I did that with my wife. I knew it was special then. Which is ironic because I love her more than I ever thought I could but she's very well aware that I fart and shit now.

Nonsense, I'm sure you'd fit right in. Poop has always been highly regarded around here. Heck, I've seen several threads of people talkin about shittin thier pants ROFL

wait... you guys fart and shit too?

Tomatoes.

thanksgiving dinner, 1982.
ran everybody out of the dining room. got a drumstick!
sec

If I stopped farting my wife would think I was dead.

same here...actually, it's our most common conversation.

me: {fart!}
her: what'd you do...shit your pants?

sec

All I know is once you hear her fart, then it's open season and the genie can never go back in the bottle.

You rang?