In Need of a Pussy Repellent
 

So, one of 'our' cats has developed a serious food obsession. She sneaks into the kitchen after we eat and gets up on the counters to look for food. This is not acceptable. I've tried the squirt bottle with water, but the little b*tch hears us coming and runs away. For fun, I've plastered the counters with packing tape (sticky side up) about a half dozen times, so when kitty jumps up their, she gets a surprise. I thought that after a few times, she'd get the picture and stop, but she keeps at it.

So, any other suggestions?

My neighbor's cat pisses on my other neighbor's patio rug everyday. It's kinda funny. Just jumps over his wall, squats on his rug and runs off. HAHA

bowl of antifreeze

Oh, that's good.

mouse traps on the counters. Doesn't take long for them to learn. Seriously.

Yeah, I thought of that. Chief Pussy overruled. I was also thinking about a latern battery with tuna in between the terminals.

That is sheer genious with just a hint of twisted.

When we first got together my wife had a cat that approached my salt water tank at night. Mouse trap perimeter-snap in the night-caterwauling-sore paw-no more kitty at my tank.

LMAO

Take it out back and shoot it. Problem solved.

That is awfully tempting, but with my luck, it would take of a limb or something. That'd be hard explain. I guess I could blame it on the boy.

Get some capsaicin powder.
Sprinkle on some tuna. Wrap tuna around capsaicin as much as possible.
Leave out for ****head cat.
Listen for shrieks of kitty pain.
Laugh as kitty learns her lesson.

If you have one of those little swinging doors so the cat can get outside or into the garage, first go and duct tape it shut from the outside. Next, put the stopper in the sink and fill it with steaming hot water. Then, smear vegetable oil on the counter tops. Leave the room. When you hear a shriek and a splash, charge into the kitchen yelling and watch the cat make a bee line for the swinging door. Then, laugh yourself silly when it slams into the door. Owned kitty.

no one has metioned Go Chiefs yet?

i figured that would rank right up there with 'antifreeze' as a standard reply.

Wow, you really thought that through.