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-   -   Life need advice with family issue (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=266816)

R8RFAN 11-19-2012 02:52 PM
You can't let this jackass keep you from your Mom, if you do he wins.

RedNFeisty 11-19-2012 02:54 PM
I haven't read a single response, but I say you go to be with your family. You take this time to show you love and support them, but make it very known that you will not stand by and let some man abuse your mother. Make your presence known and let him know without words that you will always be by her side and do what it takes to protect her even if she doesn't have the sense to do it herself.

Remember love is blind and most people don't want to be alone. They need someone to love them, even if it is false love.

Mile High Mania 11-19-2012 02:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tooge (Post 9133996)
Thanks for all the advice guys. Some pretty good stuff in there. I feel good about my decision. I just talked to her and told her that it was that strong set of principles that led me to my decision. the principles she taught me. She has calmed down about it. We're goin to the inlaws instead, so kids still get to see other grandparents.
Sounds like a good move, but it's a situation that likely won't go away... at some point you'll need to address it in your own way with her and him as well.

patteeu 11-19-2012 03:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe (Post 9133976)
I'm done talking to you.

It doesn't matter what I think the word "abuse" means.

She said she was being abused and that constitute abuse.

Take your stupid political definition of the word "is" shit back to DC.
Translation: Gee, I don't really know what "abuse" means in this context.

I don't know what "political definition" means, but I'm using a regular English definition and common sense. I don't know anything about tooge's mother or what she considers "verbal abuse". If the guy once got pissed and called her an idiot because she let the neighbor kids use his Joe DiMaggio signed ball for their pickup ball game that's one thing. If he repeatedly threatened to dismember her and rape her dog if she didn't get his dinner ready on time, that's another. The only thing I know for sure is that neither you nor I know what it means in this case.

I think it's probably best if you stop responding to me in any event. Thank you.

Coogs 11-19-2012 03:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mile High Mania (Post 9134025)
Sounds like a good move, but it's a situation that likely won't go away... at some point you'll need to address it in your own way with her and him as well.
This. And again, I would start having things at your house instead of your moms. Then the ball is in her court to come over or not, and you don't look like the bad guy if you don't get together. She isn't going to want to be denied seeing her kids and grandkids for to long IMO before she tosses the dude out.

Mile High Mania 11-19-2012 03:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coogs (Post 9134040)
This. And again, I would start having things at your house instead of your moms. Then the ball is in her court to come over or not, and you don't look like the bad guy if you don't get together. She isn't going to want to be denied seeing her kids and grandkids for to long IMO before she tosses the dude out.
And, again - if all else fails, what would the Sons of Anarchy do?

Brock 11-19-2012 03:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by R8ers (Post 9134017)
You can't let this jackass keep you from your Mom, if you do he wins.
Wins what?

Brock 11-19-2012 03:18 PM
Getting a pretty good laugh from some of you Oedipal ****ers.

Phobia 11-19-2012 03:21 PM
My recommendation is not to bury him on your own property.

R8RFAN 11-19-2012 03:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brock (Post 9134089)
Wins what?
His mother

memyselfI 11-19-2012 03:23 PM
Don't further isolate your Mom. Domestic violence victims are often isolated and that enables the abuse to continue. She trusted you and now you are using information she gave you in confidence against her.

Show up and back up your words. You can even corner the jackass in private and tell him that there is no way in hell you will allow him to come between you and your mother. You only need to be adult and civil to the jackass. Not warm fuzzy.

Your kids won't be in danger and your Mother deserves to see her grandkids. Just make it clear to her that it's too late to make alternate arrangements for this holiday but for Christmas and next year if her situation is the same then you will be making different plans.

unlurking 11-19-2012 03:27 PM
The boyfriend's LAST wife left him for abuse. The boyfriends' kids BOTH think that she should not be with him. The mother was talking about a restraining order.

Spin all you want, they obviously weren't just politely arguing.


:shake:
Quote:
Originally Posted by patteeu (Post 9134039)
Translation: Gee, I don't really know what "abuse" means in this context.

I don't know what "political definition" means, but I'm using a regular English definition and common sense. I don't know anything about tooge's mother or what she considers "verbal abuse". If the guy once got pissed and called her an idiot because she let the neighbor kids use his Joe DiMaggio signed ball for their pickup ball game that's one thing. If he repeatedly threatened to dismember her and rape her dog if she didn't get his dinner ready on time, that's another. The only thing I know for sure is that neither you nor I know what it means in this case.

I think it's probably best if you stop responding to me in any event. Thank you.

Brock 11-19-2012 03:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by R8ers (Post 9134102)
His mother
LMAO

Radar Chief 11-19-2012 03:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by unlurking (Post 9134118)
The boyfriend's LAST wife left him for abuse. The boyfriends' kids BOTH think that she should not be with him. The mother was talking about a restraining order.

Spin all you want, they obviously weren't just politely arguing.


:shake:
And in my experience once an abuser always an abuser.

patteeu 11-19-2012 03:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by unlurking (Post 9134118)
The boyfriend's LAST wife left him for abuse. The boyfriends' kids BOTH think that she should not be with him. The mother was talking about a restraining order.

Spin all you want, they obviously weren't just politely arguing.


:shake:
That information wasn't a part of the original post or any other part of the thread at the point I replied to htismaqe's post and it wasn't a part of the conversation that he and I were having. Take your spin and shove it up your ass.

Edit: What possible reason could I have for wanting to "spin" this one way or the other? That doesn't make any sense at all.


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