Bob Dole usually claims to simply be stinking out loud.

Or General Colin Bowel barking out orders.

In a crowd I usually point to the "fat kid" or the "old guy". I deny it completely. :D

guilty party always speaks first lol
 

butt trumpet...remind me to never say that to my daughters...(5 & 8)

Mark M,

Barking wolf spider eh? Probably so, I heard the phrase so many years ago I'm sure I've mangled it over the years. Makes more sense that way. LOL

Oh and Bob, I'm going to have to ask you to stop because you're killing me. "General Colin Bowel barking out orders."

ROFLMAO!

:D

I play "bomber pilot" at the mall.....Its the only thing that makes Christmas shopping bearable.....I scope out busy intersections where 4-6 isles come together....Wait for a group of people who look high-n-mighty "drop a bomb" and then walk around the corner to "browse" through a rack.....waiting for the violent backlash as they enter the cloud.......and blame each other.

~I love that game....can be a competition with the right group...who can get the best, reactions without being fingered as the guilty party....the problem is, Girls love the smell of mine....its an apparent aphrodesiac.

<a href="http://www.heptune.com/fartword.html">The Mother Lode of Misdirected Burp Euphemisms</a>

That is a dangerous game Iowanian. Too much noise, or too obvious a 'posture' whilst en f[r]agrante delicto, and you're facing a convergence of a vast number of people who know your game.

c'mon now JC....
 

You think you're dealing with an ameture?

~I've been in the AAA Farm system for a few years.....

this is great! I'm sitting in this boring *** stats class and the topic turns to farts. Now I'm trying to supress my laughter and other students are wondering what the he!! is wrong with me!

Iowainian

I can not tell you how many times I would come back from lunch, head to my office and make a little room in the bowels before running to purge myself. Every time I'd make some room, before dropping the kids off at the pool, my secretary would come running into my office about something. Needless to say, as soon as she was smacked between the eyes with the crop dust, she would turn a nice shade of green, puke, and casually excuse herself from the office.

I came to admit that my flatulence must have been one of those natural pheromones that attracts women (ultimately in a negative manner).

Hmm, we always had to be on the look out for African Barking Spiders. Especially, right at shift change in the field. Some of the "less than honorable" people would crepetate just as they were leaving the sleep tent as a present for us.

Bastages :mad:

And they wonder why we used to soak their caps and stick them in the freezer back in garrison. :D

Farting is all fun and games...
 

...until someone gets hurt.....



Armageddon!

This reminds me of something that happened in high school ...

You all remember those hard wooden chairs they have in most schools? Well, even the most dainty of people couldn't sneak out a silent one without some kind of reverberation. And, naturally, even the slightest of noises would cause the entire class to crack up. Well, instead of fighting it, we had one guy who decided to go with it ...

While sitting, he grabbed the bottom of the chair, pulling himself down on it as hard as posssible, thus creating a minimal amount of space between his butt and the seat. Then, RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP ...

I mean, the thing was so loud and forceful the windows rattled, chalk dust flew and desks shook. Everyone was so stunned the class went totally silent. The teacher, after a short pause, just said "Would you like to take a bow?"

Naturally, he did, complete with some after shocks as he bent over.

Funniest thing I ever saw in high school. He was voted "Most likely to work for HAZMAT."

MM
~~Still thinks that funny ...

Which has a more full aroma, flatulence-wise?

Chicken, Beef, Pork, Turkey, Chilli, Beans in General, Navy Beans in Particular, Refried Beans, Old Cottage Cheese, or any specialties of the house?

;)

Garlic wins hands down.