Why? My wife could look at every text I have ever sent. If she found something to get mad about she should go because she would be a psycho.
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There is a program out there now that will erase Internet posts and tweets that you send. You set an "expiration date" and it automatically erases the trace of the item.

I saw a story about it on TV the other day.

and boom goes the dynamite

If my wife went though my text messages, she won't learn anything that I haven't already told her. She knows exactly how I feel about her family because I don't lie about it. The only time I tell her she can't go through my e-mails is when I've ordered a gift for her and want it to be a surprise. Marriage should be a partnership between two people who trust each other, not some endless sneaking cold war. My first marriage was like that. Not this one.

I think the bigger problem isn't reading the messages, but the fact that you thought you should.

When facebook came into play and we'd heard some of the stories about what happens, brideowanian and I had a discussion about it. The answer is that we have an open book policy. I've never asked, but if I do, I have the right to read anything she has in an email, message box or text, and that goes both ways. To my knowledge, we've neither one felt the need to follow up.

A healthy relationship wouldn't contain messages that would be dangerous to the relationship. Bitching about your mother's shitty cooking isn't nice to read, but it's not the same as exchanging sexually suggestive notes with a coworker or something.

Do the world a favor and don't get married until you're both mature enough for that commitment.

This. I have nothing to hide because if I feel some way I just say it.

Hiding and sneaking is for pussies
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My mother-in-law IS a shitty cook. And my wife already knows it because she's eaten much more of her cooking than I ever will.

Can't wait for tomorrow's runny/lumpy mashed potatoes. :banghead:

my marriage was a disaster. I went through her text messages and she was flirting with guys. Hardcore. I called her out and it made things bad. So my genius ass started flirting with girls that I didn't rally care for via text and left my phone around her to see how she liked it. Everyday fighting ensued until separation.

My first marriage predated text messages, but I recognize the pattern. After trust is gone, you have nothing.

Life is a series of learning experiences. You learn from your mistakes, learn to look for warning signs, and move on.

You sound very insecure reading her texts.

Some people have hinted around this so far but is any if the shit she is talking on your family true? If so then where's the problem?

Trust ... to a certain extent, it's gone.

He broke trust by reading the text message
She broke trust by talking shit about his family with someone beside him

Good for you. I'd like comments I made to another person to be private.

yep

Yep.

Unless they both SHARE the same feelings for his family, it's going to be a constant point of contention until something gives.

There are fundamental things on which you MUST agree in order for a marriage to work.