Mrs. Buehler445 has a bun in the oven.
 

Elizabeth Grace
3/9/14
7 lb 15 oz
21.5 in long

http://imageshack.com/a/img41/825/yt7g.jpg

RUN!!!

j/k

Congrats!

Should've PIIHB, no problems. /CP


In all seriousness, congrats, your life is no longer yours, sucka.

Congrats! Do you employ a cabana boy?

Gonna guess the name will be Buehler446?

Fortunately I do not.

Buehler445 1/2

You should be. Unless you have in-laws who will help out, your life as you know it is completely ending.

good job!
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Is it yours?












JK :evil:


Congrats to you & the mrs.

Well, the first thing you do is schedule your appearance on Maury....



My advice. Sleep now.

:clap::clap::clap::clap:

Congrats man, best wishes daddy-o!

Congrats! Enjoying grandkids myself, all the old Tonka toys and trikes are getting another workout.

Advice? If you aren't already a patient person, learn to be one; first the wife and her changes (you are now #2, and that's the way it is), and then the kid(s) in a real short time when they are mobile little sponges that absorb everything around them even when you think they aren't paying attention or don't understand what is going on. Enjoy the adventure, one of the best life has to offer.

Total croc of shit. Your life will actually just begin. You will realize that some of the things that you once considered a priority are now just "things". Your focus will be on being a role model, a father, a teacher, a friend.

I remember everyone telling me how "your life is over" and shit. Total BS. Do I hunt and fish AS MUCH as I used to? Not really, but not because I can't. It ends up being because I don't want to. I find myself turning down invites to golf, hunt, travel, etc., all because I don't want to be away from the kids. Congrats man! Your life is about to become wonderful!

My advice:

Don't kill the baby.

If you stick to that, you'll be fine. :thumb:

Who's the father?

I assume you're terrified because you're afraid that guy may come back.




j/k congrats. :)

Congrats and best wishes!

yep...

That doesn't come for years. The first several years of a kids life you deal with screaming at 3am, dirty diapers, lying on the floor tantrums at the store when you say something he doesn't like, locking up everything around the house so he doesn't get into it, having your house painted/torn up at will, and of course the extra costs. And no time to yourself.

Having the Budweiser with your son leaning on the fencepost talking about life? Yeah, maybe in 20 years or so.

damn dude, I feel sorry for your kids.
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Congrats, name him Buck.

It wasn't me I swear!!

I think if you are terrified then you'll be OK. It means you take it seriously. It's the dudes that think it's no big deal that will be in trouble.

Always with the poignant advice.

I think I can keep the thing alive and kicking, but I'm bound to screw it up somehow. And that's what I'm terrified of. I think linearly and logically. Kids well, don't. I just don't want to screw a kid up in the head.

Tips?

Change your share of diapers and give wifey a break on those 3am feedings as often as you can, other than that its really pretty easy to be a parent when they're just little handfuls... feed'em, burp'em, talk to and tickle'em often for stimulus, that's about it for now.

The harder stuff comes later...

You see those as bad things, I see them as memories that I would not trade for anything in the world.

Thanks.

No.



Interestingly enough, I actually have a friend with a brother named Buck. Now I don't know if that is some nickname or something or if the parents actually took a look at the kid and said, "yep. That's Buck."

Yeah, the later stuff is what I'm worried about.

Congrats. Be glad you didn't have twins.


:facepalm:

You'll go from n00b to "expert" in about a day. Your child will be a source of entertainment and joy that you never thought possible. This is coming from someone who had no experience with children prior to having one.

Congrats, dude.

Parenting doesn't come with a manual. You will make mistakes, but as long as you love your child with all of your being and make time for you and the mrs and you'll be fine

Well, there IS one incredibly strange hurdle coming almost as soon as you bring the lil shaver home... mecomium(sp) poop, no lie, it glows and has the poop color palette of the aurora borealis... waves of purple, neon green, blue...

Its an elemental life shit.

never know...we didn't know until after the first one was born and taken out of the room.
wife kept saying, "my stomach doesn't feel like it's gone down very much."
I said, "don't worry...it'll go down tomorrow."
doc comes back in and goobers around down there a little...his eyes get big and he says, "shit...I think there's another one."
don't remember too much after that.

of course that was over 30 something years ago. they do those ultrasounds now and can see all kinds of stuff.

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Embrace puke. And embrace that runny, hell-sent, substance they call baby shit. And when you buy the big dumpster-o-diapers, don't be surprised when your little bundle outgrows them before you get halfway through. And think about that $40 you just spent, and hope you have a friend to barter size 2 for 3s and so on.

We're at month #2 right now. Just got the shots and the checkup. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but expect everything you know this very moment in time, to be obsolete for a while once he/she arrives.

They assured us there is only one in there.

My buddy told me I should hope for twins. Then if I had a single down the line it would seem easy. On second thought, maybe he isn't my buddy.

This. Take pictures, spend time with them, make memories, cherish them, do things with them, be a part of their lives.

The time flies by, my youngest son (19) left for the Navy two weeks ago.

Sounds like good advice. I work outside and am dirty most of the time anyway. Hopefully the poop and puke won't be too much of a variance.

well, raising twin sons imo, was a lot easier than raising one daughter, and the sons came first.
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Yeah, I've got a couple nieces and nephews that have flown by.

Another terrifying thing is that the kid will graduate high school in 2032. :eek:

Congrats man! :thumb:
Just consider changing diapers as building up credit for when your children have to change yours.

I need to go ahead and not have a daughter. I'm fairly certain I would shoot every 12-25 year old male in the county once she hits 14. /sarcasm (ish)

Congratulations!

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to live that long. :D

I have a 6 year old daughter and twin 3 year old daughters.

**** my life.

Every guy will tell you how great it is, because he wants to feel like he's Father of the Year. But in private, most guys that you're close friends to will be a little more frank about it. I don't let my friends smoke & mirrors me on the topic, so they speak frank around me.


The guy who said he's in month 2 and "wouldn't trade it for the world" is more full of shit than the diaper he's changing.

Nice to know that you speak for every guy out there. Dipshit.

What if his wife chooses to breast feed? That got me out of those 3am feedings. :)

All you need is .45 and a shovel

:eek:

I grew up on a farrow to finish hog farm. Our neighbor ran a dairy, and I would help out once in a while there. My best friend grew up on a farm, and once again I helped out there. Later in life, me and my old man raised a number of horses. I've spent a good number of years of my life around livestock. In any case, baby shit has a way of burrowing deep into your nasal cavity, unlike most anything else.

You see the black sticky stuff at the hospital and its gross, but its expected, and you have that new-baby euphoria and nothing it does is bad/gross/horrible. that marconium goes away, and even then its not too bad. You've got this. And then the bacteria in the gut changes somehow. And one day, your little darling will shit its pants and all you can say is "Oh dear Lord". You'll want to blame your wife for eating a rotten corpse ass-end first, but she didn't. Good news is, your nose becomes calloused and you eventually aren't bothered by it. That's what they tell me anyway.

Wow, just wow. You only mention the not so pleasant things. And even some of those really aren't as bad as you make it sound. There are way more good things that outweigh the difficult parts of parenthood. If you truly feel that way about your kids then I doubt you will be having that beer and life discussion with your son in 20 years. He will probably go as far away from you as possible.

The wife and I were totally against cloth diapers. They'd leak, stink, and generally be a pain in the ass. However after two months of paying out the ass for diapers, we did our research and took the plunge. A $200 investment netted us 30 diapers and inserts. We do diaper laundry every third day or so and saw a slight increase in water consumption. You can seriously tell a difference between a kid's ass that's been clothed in chemically laced material and the cloth diapers. Don't get me wrong, we use disposables in some situations, but 90% of the time we go cloth. It was well worth the investment...

Heh...touché wifeykins, get yer ass up!

I'm full of shit on a lot of things, but that's not one of them. I'm actually pretty candid about the things I don't like, but again, I wouldn't trade this. I'm actually kind of sad for you, and that doesn't happen often.

My kids know they have an honest father, not a fluffer like you.

I enjoy my kids much better now that they're older. But I point out to expecting fathers the reality of the situation so they don't feel guilty about the feelings they are going to experience. It's really hard for men and women to become 1st time parents. Honesty is a good thing - you should try it sometime.

Thanks for being that spokesman.

Congrats!

w00t!! PBJ

An old creole sergeant I knew in the Army said when his daughters turned 9 he bought them each a Rottweiler puppy so that when they were dating age those dogs were good and old and cranky. Said he never even had to do the greeting the kid at the while door polishing a gun trick. They had to make it past the dogs first.

Umm. Yeah. We want the kid. We understand it is a ****load of work and way more responsibility than we've ever had combined. But bringing a life into this world certainly offsets the bad stuff in most cases.

Backhoe.

You are a far, far better man than I.

ROFL

We have a friend that went that direction. It is certainly something to consider. Problem is the kid is going to be in daycare during the school year, and I doubt the provider we have lined up would be up for that, but we'll see.

Me thinks you should not be a parent. I've raised my kids and now I'm enjoying my grandkids. Shitty diapers and all, and yes, I would not trade it for ANYTHING in the world!

Your honesty sounds a great deal like negativity. Having had a child 10 months ago, I can honestly say it's been the most frustrating, exhausting, exhilarating, moving, experience of my life. My wife and I have moved closer together because of it. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. You paint it all as doom, gloom, and negative bullshit. It's an all encompassing experience. You're half honest if that. I would imagine your kids think you're a dick.

Congratulations!

Say goodbye to any disposable income you have.

It's pretty simple. You buy a wet bag that contains the diapers (about 20 bucks) and send ten with them. They've got snap buttons on them and you can whip em on about as fast as a disposable.

:LOL: And free time.

Not necessarily. As long as you have decent insurance, you'll have your deductible, copay, and any 80/20 if you have it. Which is a shot.

But beyond that, if you breastfeed you're not going to have a formula bill. A breastpump is actually covered I think in most insurances, so it quite possibly is a 100% payout for that if you get one.

Diapers, even disposable, haven't run as much as I thought it would. Things like desitin and whatever else...a friend will most likely arrange a baby shower and your first wave of all that stuff will most likely be bought for you.

Clothes? Just buy them as cheap as possible. They never get used enough to wear out. I think we have 3rd gen stuff for our kiddo and they still look pretty much brand new.

Craigslist can be your friend if you start shopping now and can cherry pick needed furniture, etc...

A plethora of sage advice.

This.

You can do something as easy as letting everyone know to bring different sized diapers to your baby shower.

The lucky thing about having an older daughter is that we get to re-use a lot of her clothes with the twins. Mind you....twins are more expensive because you end up buying two of everything.

**** my life.

this for sure, and we are going through it at the present time. I was up feeding at 245 AM this morning

congrats -- say hello to your new life

Congratulations. I'd say I'm really happy for you but I really don't know you so that would be a lie. Congratulations anyway though!

JFC, I have a 16 year 12year 8 year and 9 month old. they all are the same amount of fun to do things with. you just are doing different things.

im actually very sad we wont be having any more. im going to miss them being little...

That's what my wife says, now that they are "mine" :D


But you're full of dirty poopy diapers if you say boys are as much fun at 3 months as they are at 5. Sorry but that's just a load of nonsense.

Congrats Buehler! The baby poop reminds me of a guy I worked with years ago that could reach in a pile of crap up to his elbows and pull a cow out of a muddy pen. He would let his kid walk around in a dirty diaper until mom got home to change it because it was gross. Yes, I changed the poor kid for him and never let him forget it.

Sorry man. Thought I pulled out in time.

Shitty diapers aren't a problem, I was never bothered one bit by poop or puke or even the pee-stream boys do when you're wiping them and they don't announce they are about to pee. (Parents know what I'm talking about).


It's the transition to full responsibility that really slaps a lot of men hard. Not the super-dads on this board, but other dads. No free time, no more spending money, massive stress, sleep deprivation, and less time with the wife (esp romantically). Sorry but men who pretend that's all nothing but roses are just lying to Buehler45

Either your wife sucks at helping you out or you're just a huge vagina.

I have 3 ****ing kids......still have free time, spending money and get at least 6 hours of sleep generally.

Congratulations. As far as advice...pray for the best and insure everything.

Congratulations man. Nothing to fear. It's probably the most work intensive and rewarding things I've ever done.

The odd thing is that I can barely conceive life without my children now, but at the time I thought it was the end of the world.