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royr17 08-20-2004 06:08 PM

Sex Topic : What do u ask the girl when u want to have sex ?
 
Ok fellows a little help here see theres this girl coming over on monday night, i like her and she likes me.

As i am ashame to say that i am still a virgin but im asking all you fellows that have experienced this what do u tell the girl when u want to have sex with her ?

How do u approach her about it ?

What do u say to her about it ?

Any help would be useful.

Thanks guys.

Raiderhader 08-20-2004 06:09 PM

This ought to be rich.

ENDelt260 08-20-2004 06:09 PM

You should consult KCChiefsMan. Or gobricks. Those two are master mack daddies.

tk13 08-20-2004 06:11 PM

Not expecting your dad to come online tonight, eh?.. :)

David. 08-20-2004 06:11 PM

ROFL funny stuff. The convo should go like this

"Hello"
"Hi"
"Wanna do it?"
"Sure"

Trust me works EVERYTIME.

Rain Man 08-20-2004 06:11 PM

When I was single, I usually broached the question by asking, "How much?"

David. 08-20-2004 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260
You should consult KCChiefsMan. Or gobricks. Those two are master mack daddies.

ROFL

royr17 08-20-2004 06:12 PM

naw he be on but im wanting a few pointers from guys that have been down this road before, what do u do ?

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:13 PM

Ask? :hmmm:

ROFL

ENDelt260 08-20-2004 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royr17
naw he be on but im wanting a few pointers from guys that have been down this road before

I could be wrong here... but, I think your Dad may have had sex at some point.

David. 08-20-2004 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royr17
naw he be on but im wanting a few pointers from guys that have been down this road before, what do u do ?

ROFL

Raiderhader 08-20-2004 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man
When I was single, I usually broached the question by asking, "How much?"



ROFL

royr17 08-20-2004 06:14 PM

Well to me approaching her and seeing want to do it i feel like would get me a slap in a face.

What are some pointers some things i can do to make her wanna do with me ?

DJay23 08-20-2004 06:14 PM

I'm too mesmerized by David's sigline to respond to the question. :drool:

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:15 PM

About the time you're munchin' the rug, and she's moaning loudly....

that's always a good time. Usually a positive response too.... :thumb:

David. 08-20-2004 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royr17
Well to me approaching her and seeing want to do it i feel like would get me a slap in a face.

What are some pointers some things i can do to make her wanna do with me ?

okay in all seriousness......nah I can't. Ask your pops.

Raiderhader 08-20-2004 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260
I could be wrong here... but, I think your Dad may have had sex at some point.


I don't know where you would have gotten that idea from.....

Skip Towne 08-20-2004 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man
When I was single, I usually broached the question by asking, "How much?"

ROFL I'll bet that's right.

PastorMikH 08-20-2004 06:18 PM

First, you say, "Will You Marry Me"

After she says "yes" and "I Do", then you can beg like most men do.

Hammock Parties 08-20-2004 06:18 PM

Oh dear lord. :LOL:

Valiant 08-20-2004 06:19 PM

your place or hers...

kiss her when you first see her as a welcome kiss..if she does not pull away you are good to go later on..

later on if 'welcome kiss worked'

music/laughter/ then kiss her agian..if she wants it will follow its course...


or endelt it..leave the bitch at home and go porking as i am told...

Raiderhader 08-20-2004 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PastorMikH
First, you say, "Will You Marry Me"

After she says "yes" and "I Do", then you can beg like most men do.


This idea ought to go over well with many of the members.

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PastorMikH
First, you say, "Will You Marry Me"

After she says "yes" and "I Do", then you can beg like most men do.


ROFL

Jenson71 08-20-2004 06:20 PM

I don't need to ask. I just knock them out.

David. 08-20-2004 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenson71
I don't need to ask. I just knock them out.

how do you know your own hand out :hmmm: :p

DJay23 08-20-2004 06:21 PM

ok, i'm better now.

here's the thing dude. my experience (while not as great as ENDelt's, I'm still flying free off my frequent flyer miles) is that you don't ask in these situations. if it happens it happens. just start out with a little making out and let the rest take care of itself. if you come (pun intended) right out after it, especially a youngin, you most likely turn her off, unless she's a nympho, which is like striking oil when digging in a garden.

big nasty kcnut 08-20-2004 06:22 PM

Well roy tell her if she would like to ride the snake lol j/k

Tell her do you want to do it. If she say yes take it slow and just ask her if she want to do something. Let her control the sex you just go along for the ride.

Skip Towne 08-20-2004 06:22 PM

What? Nobody has mentioned the obvious? Ask Slayer.

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:23 PM

Not after she tells you "Aunt Flo is visiting"....definitely NOT then, though.....

Jenson71 08-20-2004 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by David.
how do you know your own hand out :hmmm: :p

Wrap it in ice for twenty minutes.

Raiderhader 08-20-2004 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJay23
I'm too mesmerized by David's sigline to respond to the question. :drool:


Thank God! He finally changed it!

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcnut
Well roy tell her if she would like to ride the snake lol j/k

Tell her do you want to do it. If she say yes take it slow and just ask her if she want to do something. Let her control the sex you just go along for the ride.

There you go, CP's own Leon..."The Ladie's Man" has spoken.

Take heed. :thumb:

Nut, you forgot the "Kavaseay"

Rain Man 08-20-2004 06:26 PM

"If you have sex with me, I'll untie you," generally works, but it's also more of a short-term strategy.

DJay23 08-20-2004 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raiderhader
Thank God! He finally changed it!

I stare at it like i did the one, forget who had it, with the "But their mine!" girl who grabbed her tats.

Logical 08-20-2004 06:27 PM

Have you tried the "classic"? Wanna fuck?

royr17 08-20-2004 06:27 PM

By the way a guy asked me to ask yall if u know where the g-sport is and i dont even have a clue what the g-sport is.

royr17 08-20-2004 06:29 PM

DOH, i meant g-spot ...

big nasty kcnut 08-20-2004 06:29 PM

Plus roy remember use protection and make sure she have birth control pills.

After the sex part you make her breakfest or lunch depending on what time you wake up

Logical 08-20-2004 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royr17
By the way a guy asked me to ask yall if u know where the g-sport is and i dont even have a clue what the g-sport is.

I think you might mean the g-spot. I think you two should try to find the vagina before you go looking for needles in a haystack for virgins.

Logical 08-20-2004 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcnut
Plus roy remember use protection and make sure she have birth control pills.

After the sex part you make her breakfest or lunch depending on what time you wake up

Wake up? WTF overROFL

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royr17
By the way a guy asked me to ask yall if u know where the g-sport is and i dont even have a clue what the g-sport is.

3/4-1 inch inside the left nostril....usually on the fleshy side.

DJay23 08-20-2004 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vlad Logicslav
I think you might mean the g-spot. I think you two should try to find the vagina before you go looking for needles in a haystack for virgins.

ROFL

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vlad Logicslav
Wake up? WTF overROFL

No shit; I ain't ever slept in my car after sex..... ROFL

Coach 08-20-2004 06:33 PM

The old fashioned....

"Hi, nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

Logical 08-20-2004 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan
No shit; I ain't ever slept in my car after sex..... ROFL

ROFL

Logical 08-20-2004 06:34 PM

I knew this thread had potential as comedy gold.

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royr17
By the way a guy asked me to ask yall if u know where the g-sport is and i dont even have a clue what the g-sport is.

Ok, ok....for real this time; inside the vaginal entrance, 3/4 to 1 inch along the backside of where the clitoris is.....it's a soft-indentation, about dime or nickel sized.

If you push gently three or four times.....you'll know whether you are close; gently massage, in circular motions....clockwise and counter-clockwise, with interruptions to apply direct pressure.

Within a few minutes, you will be rewarded with a puppy....that will follow you around for at least a few weeks.
:thumb:

royr17 08-20-2004 06:39 PM

so does anybody here have any real pointers of course i am gonna use protection and make sure that shes on birth control.

but is there anything i should really know about that would make her want sex or is there anything i could do that woud make feel good about having sex with me.

as yall know yes i am still a virgin but see i really like this girl and this girl really likes me and i need to know what to do if u can tell that she is getting hot.

keep bringing the pointers plz, thanks.

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coach
The old fashioned....

"Hi, nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

Or if you are at a dance, you start by...."Would you like to dance?" If yes, during the dance you ask if you "wanna go somewhere?"

If she says no, you say...."then, I guess, a blowjob is out of the question?" Usually she'll rape you right there.

Fairplay 08-20-2004 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260
You should consult KCChiefsMan. Or gobricks. Those two are master mack daddies.



Yeah get a hold of them they are da shit when it comes to that subject.

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royr17
so does anybody here have any real pointers of course i am gonna use protection and make sure that shes on birth control.

but is there anything i should really know about that would make her want sex or is there anything i could do that woud make feel good about having sex with me.

as yall know yes i am still a virgin but see i really like this girl and this girl really likes me and i need to know what to do if u can tell that she is getting hot.

keep bringing the pointers plz, thanks.


47 was real....but that's probably after.....

In all seriousness, you start dating a girl.....you start hangin' out, and eventually nature just takes it's course usually; DON'T be timid about it, but don't be a smuck either....if she kisses back, try second base; if she gives you second, try stealin' third; if you make it to third, and she's still in a good mood and respondin'.....why stop there? It's not rocket science Roy....

Good luck; please report your progress to us back here..... :thumb:

The Bad Guy 08-20-2004 06:42 PM

Ask her if she wants a fish sandwich.

Then do it in the butt.

(if you haven't seen the movie Ladies Man then this will make zero sense)

Skip Towne 08-20-2004 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royr17
so does anybody here have any real pointers of course i am gonna use protection and make sure that shes on birth control.

but is there anything i should really know about that would make her want sex or is there anything i could do that woud make feel good about having sex with me.

as yall know yes i am still a virgin but see i really like this girl and this girl really likes me and i need to know what to do if u can tell that she is getting hot.

keep bringing the pointers plz, thanks.

There are just too many smart asses on here (me included) for you to get a straight answer. Seriously, I would PM Jenny Gump. She knows more about sex than anybody EVAR.

Fairplay 08-20-2004 06:43 PM

Always eat her pussy out first before you have sex.

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fairplay
Always eat her pussy out first before you have sex.

Quit tryin' to mislead the boy. Roy, you always do that after sex..... :thumb:

Coach 08-20-2004 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan
Quit tryin' to mislead the boy. Roy, you always do that after sex..... :thumb:


Especially when you "blow" ya wad no less than 10 seconds, then you may be forced to do that. ROFL

Fairplay 08-20-2004 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne
There are just too many smart asses on here (me included) for you to get a straight answer. Seriously, I would PM Jenny Gump. She knows more about sex than anybody EVAR.



I agree, a womens perspective would be a great help to you royr17.

Also you will always remember your first, no matter how many you score with.

Logical 08-20-2004 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan
47 was real....but that's probably after.....

In all seriousness, you start dating a girl.....you start hangin' out, and eventually nature just takes it's course usually; DON'T be timid about it, but don't be a smuck either....if she kisses back, try second base; if she gives you second, try stealin' third; if you make it to third, and she's still in a good mood and respondin'.....why stop there? It's not rocket science Roy....

Good luck; please report your progress to us back here..... :thumb:

Oh great now he will take her to a baseball park break in and the next thing you know his dad will be getting a call to bail him out of jail.

ROYC75 08-20-2004 06:50 PM

OMG ! :rolleyes: Damn, Friday night entertainment !

I haven't began to read the responses yet, matter of fact, I'm not sure if I want too !

Alright, BRB, gotta start from the beginning. :shake:

Eleazar 08-20-2004 06:52 PM

:shake:

JimNasium 08-20-2004 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan
Ask? :hmmm:

ROFL

This was posted in jest but as a man who has had quite a bit of success with the ladies I can tell you that asking is the key. You'll be surprised at how many takers you will encounter. Also, don't be afraid to be a bad boy. Girls seem to like that a hell of a lot more than the kind and gentle type.

tk13 08-20-2004 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ROYC75
OMG ! :rolleyes: Damn, Friday night entertainment !

I haven't began to read the resposes yet, matter of fact, I'm not sure if I want too !

Alright, BRB, gotta start from the beginning. :shake:

ROFL ROFL

This should be good...

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vlad Logicslav
Oh great now he will take her to a baseball park break in and the next thing you know his dad will be getting a call to bail him out of jail.

What a hoot! ROFL

I can see the headline, "Local Lovebirds break into Kaufman Stadium."

ROFL

Maybe we should tell him it's a metaphor....okay, Roy, listen up:

1st base: Kissing and caressing
2nd base: Inside the bra
3rd base: Inside the pants
"Home": Inside the box....er, "target" shall we say....

Hope this helps; if you need further assistance, ask your dad for his copy of Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell"....and cue, "Paradise By the DashBoard Lights."

:thumb:

Skip Towne 08-20-2004 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ROYC75
OMG ! :rolleyes: Damn, Friday night entertainment !

I haven't began to read the resposes yet, matter of fact, I'm not sure if I want too !

Alright, BRB, gotta start from the beginning. :shake:

Just the usual juvenile BS from us Planet members. Except the one about asking Jenny Gump. That is what he should do.

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimNasium
This was posted in jest but as a man who has had quite a bit of success with the ladies I can tell you that asking is the key. You'll be surprised at how many takers you will encounter. Also, don't be afraid to be a bad boy. Girls seem to like that a hell of a lot more than the kind and gentle type.

I can see it now, Jim:

Jim to Lady Friend...."May I insert my penis into your vagina?"

Lady Friend to Jim..."Why of course; I'm glad you asked. I never would have guessed it from that rock hard bulge you've been pokin me in the stomach with for the past 45 minutes."

JK, Jim.... ;)

Fairplay 08-20-2004 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne
Just the usual juvenile BS from us Planet members. Except the one about asking Jenny Gump. That is what he should do.




You can't expect all serious answers on an open forum, do you?

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fairplay
You can't expect all serious answers on an open forum, do you?

Skip's a little Grumpy...and touchy on this subject; HE is still a virgin, you know.....even at his advanced age.

Shhhhhhhhhh!!!! STFU

royr17 08-20-2004 07:01 PM

Dad is right about one thing Friday Night Comedy in this thread, lol.

Jenny Gump 08-20-2004 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royr17
What are some pointers some things i can do to make her wanna do with me ?

Hypnosis...that and jewelry.

Fairplay 08-20-2004 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan
Skip's a little Grumpy...and touchy on this subject; HE is still a virgin, you know.....even at his advanced age.

Shhhhhhhhhh!!!! STFU



Like hes the voice of maturity for the planet, i don't think so.

ROYC75 08-20-2004 07:04 PM

OK Planeteers, I'm to shocked beyond belief to give a rational response.I may need sometime to recover from the disbelief and sharp pain in my gut from laughing at this . :shake:


Honey, I have a headache, bring the tylenol ! :banghead:

Coach 08-20-2004 07:04 PM

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...rlson/beer.jpg

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ROYC75
OMG ! :rolleyes: Damn, Friday night entertainment !

I haven't began to read the responses yet, matter of fact, I'm not sure if I want too !

Alright, BRB, gotta start from the beginning. :shake:

Eh....just how big a man are you Roy? I mean you aren't like 6'6 and 350 lbs or anything, are you?

....I mean, I was just jokin' with your boy here, and all.....hope you don't wanna open up a can of "whoop azz" on me, or anything. You know?

Friends? Chum? Buddy? :(

:p

stumppy 08-20-2004 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JennyGump
Hypnosis...that and jewelry.


BINGO!!

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 07:07 PM

This thread needs PICs..... :hmmm:

JimNasium 08-20-2004 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan
I can see it now, Jim:

Jim to Lady Friend...."May I insert my penis into your vagina?"

Lady Friend to Jim..."Why of course; I'm glad you asked. I never would have guessed it from that rock hard bulge you've been pokin me in the stomach with for the past 45 minutes."

JK, Jim.... ;)

This is accurate except for two minor issues. First of all I'm never that polite and secondly they always claim that the bulge is poking them in the chin.
:)

Phobia 08-20-2004 07:12 PM

I think we'll waive the 30 day waiting period and send this one straight to the Classics forum.

JimNasium 08-20-2004 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimNasium
This is accurate except for two minor issues. First of all I'm never that polite and secondly they always claim that the bulge is poking them in the chin.
:)

Oh, and to difuse the predictable, no I do not date midgets.

ROYC75 08-20-2004 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan
Eh....just how big a man are you Roy? I mean you aren't like 6'6 and 350 lbs or anything, are you?

....I mean, I was just jokin' with your boy here, and all.....hope you don't wanna open up a can of "whoop azz" on me, or anything. You know?

Friends? Chum? Buddy? :(

:p


Nope, just 6'4" and 280 # ........


OK III, let me tell ya bout the birds and the bee's .... I think we have touched on this before............. Awh Crap, you and Amy was off to a good start in tha backseat of the car during daylight hours 2 years ago.

Do that again but don't stop, I know you had to cause I told you too, this time I won't be around.

Like the song says, One thing leads to another............

Don't do the Paradise by the dashboard lights, she didn't put out !

Some of the responses here are....... well, let's just say come talk to me 1st before you try some of them....... ROFL

Mr. Kotter 08-20-2004 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimNasium
This is accurate except for two minor issues. First of all I'm never that polite and secondly they always claim that the bulge is poking them in the chin.
:)

No WONDER you have to ask them....with your hips haunched around their face like that, I can't imagine they'd have ever guessed your intentions. They probably mistook it for a toothpick or match in your pocket or something..... :hmmm:


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