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-   -   Life Violent, naked, pooping, masturbating home intruder. Guess where? (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=269227)

TinyEvel 01-23-2013 03:47 PM

Violent, naked, pooping, masturbating home intruder. Guess where?
 
Calling Gblowfish...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...ref=weird-news


In Florida, there are violent people, naked people, poopers and masturbators -- but rarely is one man the total package.

When Tony and LaDonna Land discovered naked carnival worker Gregory Matthew Bruni on their roof, the night had just begun. Bruni, 21, allegedly assaulted Tony Land, trashed the couple's North Fort Myers Home, and then defecated and masturbated inside the house, WTSP reports.

The Lands told police they were in their bedroom at around 7 p.m. Monday when they heard a noise that sounded like thunder, according to Fox 4 Now. Tony went outside and says he saw Bruni on top of the roof, completely naked. Bruni allegedly jumped down on top of Land, ABC 7 reported, then knocked him over by hitting him in the shoulder.

The Lands say Bruni ran into the house, pulled a big-screen TV off the wall, and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor. Around this time, LaDonna grabbed a gun and began firing at the nude intruder. She missed, and the couple called 911.

"I don't know who the hell he is -- he's naked and he ran into my damn house," Tony can be heard saying on the recording.

The Lands told authorities that after shots were fired, Bruni began whacking the mole in their living room before heading into their son's bedroom to rub some clothing on his face.

When deputies arrived, they attempted to control Bruni, who they say was wildly flailing around and speaking nonsensically. They also discovered that Bruni had defecated on the floor in two spots within the home.


At some point during the ruckus, investigators say, Bruni sucked up the contents of the vacuum, then spit it back out.

Bruni was taken into custody and transported to a hospital for evaluation, where doctors reportedly told deputies they planned to conduct tests to determine "what Bruni was on."

Bruni has been charged with criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting arrest without violence.

Let's Recap The Allegations Against Bruni:
1) Got naked, climbed onto the Lands' roof.

2) Attacked Tony Lands by jumping on him and hitting his shoulder.

3) Ran into Lands' house, knocked down a TV and spilled the contents of a vacuum on the floor.

4) Dodged bullets fired by LaDonna Lands.

5) Masturbated in the living room.

6) Rubbed clothes on his face in the Lands' son's room.

7) Defecated on the floor in two places.

8) Drank the contents of the vacuum.

SPchief 01-23-2013 03:48 PM

Q

Crush 01-23-2013 03:50 PM

U

Frosty 01-23-2013 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPchief (Post 9345106)
Q

Same page Q, too.

(though I missed the pooping part in the OP)

FlaChief58 01-23-2013 03:52 PM

May the Q be with you

TinyEvel 01-23-2013 03:52 PM

?!?!?! I checked :cuss:

TinyEvel 01-23-2013 03:53 PM

:facepalm:

TimeForWasp 01-23-2013 03:53 PM

He ran out of purple drank.

TinyEvel 01-23-2013 03:54 PM

:facepalm:

FlaChief58 01-23-2013 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinyEvel (Post 9345128)
:facepalm:

So Cal in da hizzle

redsurfer11 01-23-2013 03:58 PM

http://howtodoflorida.com/

LOCOChief 01-23-2013 04:05 PM

It's not Floridians doing half this shit, these wacko's come down here from out of state. OMGOMGOMGOMG.


It's funny though.

Crush 01-23-2013 04:08 PM

You guys ruined the Queef.

FlaChief58 01-23-2013 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gblowfish (Post 9344552)
Good to know: In Florida, if you get caught red handed committing a crime, just a) drop trou, b) fall to the floor, c) beat it like it owes you money.

Instant psyche defense!

Dont forget the large quantities if hardcore drugs

Dayze 01-23-2013 04:09 PM

he masturdated and sparyed hot Q all over the place.


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