What Do You Do After A Horrible Round of Golf?
 

Playing in a two-man team best ball with my dad this weekend and today's opening round was horrible. I didn't finish three holes in a row on the front 9, and an additional 3 on the back. My drives have been inconsistent all summer, and even when I played conservative and teed off with an iron I duffed it into high grass. My thought on every swing was just place a smooth and slow shot, but it wasn't working.

Technicalities aside, wtf do I do? Get drunk (not enough beer in the fridge). Get laid? (Fat chance) Watch TinCup or Caddyshack? (watched the former last night) Or do I just preoccupy my mind with something else on every shot tomorrow?

as with all of my other threads...

DISCUS

Take two weeks off - then quit.

I wish I could be golfing instead, but anyway, I'd pretty much do what I always do after golf, eat something, have a few drinks and try to nail my girlfriend....
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Run on a golf course and piss off old ladies.

Threaten my clubs. Turn them into bicycle spokes. That kind of thing.

Turn off the PS2 and vow never to play PGA Tour again.
:D

Jerk off. With a five iron. It doesn't have to make sense.

I quit for two years. That certainly helped my disposition toward the game. It doesn't piss me off these days.

Barring that, go buy some more beer.

Or a new driver.

But the beer is a lot cheaper.

I just remember that not even tiger woods has perfected the game

Why the anguish at a sport at which you have no proficiency? Try something at which you excel. Life is too short for this type of frustration. Do you get frustrated at activities often?

The positive side is that you got to spend some quality time with your dad and that he has some great stories to tell his friends, at your expense, about his noodnik son who couldn't hit a fairway with a shotgun. The negative side is that he will always view you in light of your lack of talent at a father-son activity and his shame at your failure. But that is what Dads are for. To love you and hold you dear in spite of your failings.

Do I hold the 5-iron with my off hand whilst stroking, jerk off by rubbing the 5-iron against my junk, or just slap the ham as I look at the 5-iron?

dude, its gonna be a beautiful day tomorrow... just enjoy it! have fun with your dad... don't worry about being awesome... just do your best, and have fun.

**** it.

For the sake of warranting a double post, my dad watched when I played in the MSHSAA state tournament two years ago... Where I went all TinCup / stupid and replayed my ball from the spot of my hit instead of dropping on the line it went into a lateral hazard. Dad took the team out to dinner that night and he compared my game to 9/11 in that he saw himself as an air traffic controller watching the planes hit the Twin Towers: He knew shit was all wrong but he couldn't do jack about it. Needless to say that got a sick laugh from my teammates.


And I play this frustrating game because it's worth the frustration when you are able to manipulate that pissant white ball into doing what you want it to do, even if it is to a marginal degree. That and last week I played 36 holes in one day from the championship tees (I'll get the slope for anyone who asks for it to gauge its difficulty) and on my first round of 18, I scored a career best 86 without handicap.

Ari's got it right. I haven't played much all summer, but tomorrow, with my brothers and 4 other friends, it's going to be smiles, jokes, cussing and then watching the final round of The Open.

You're going to play a 13 some?