Stifle yourself, Edith!
 

Twice in the last week or so I found myself engaged in lilvely banter, one with a student of mine, a 24 year old kid who takes pride in being a smartass, the other a coworker who takes pride in being a Jersey boy who's quick on his feet. On both occassions, we reached a point where we are trading barbs, and I stifled them both - made some crack that just left them at a complete loss for words.

Dontcha just love it when that happens?

I know for some folks like Iowanian and Jenny Gump, watching people stumble all over themselves (for two very separate reasons - Iowanian in a swimsuit might actually cause more accidents).

When has it happened for you?

Never.

In college, I worked at both the college radio station as the rock morning show guy and also across town I did a mid day show at a country station. Everybody knew who I was and I had the well deserved rep for being "over the top" on the air and in public at remotes and stuff.

One day I am walking across campus and this big girl stops me and says, "hey you're an asshole" and I stopped long enough to say, "and you're a fat bitch" her jaw sunk and everyone around was laughing their asses off. I kept walking - I never saw her anywhere again.

A student called me an "asshole" the other day. I replied, "That's Mr. Asshole to you. Now follow me."

I once jokingly told my wrestling team during practice, "eh, if you play basketball your dicks will shrivel up." I got called in by my VP, and he asked me: "Did you tell your wrestlers that basketball players have small penises?" I said, "Nope. I told 'em their dicks would shrivel up if they played it."

Once at a Mardi Gras Parade, me and my buddy Dave were cat calling some of the hot chicks on one of the floats. Some older broad (like, 60) came up to us and said that we needed to stop being so rude. To that my buddy Dave replaied, "You know what, you need a good fuckin' that's what you need" she turned red and walked away

Oh. I misunderstood the question.

Yes. For some reason, a few of my hygiene threads have left people speechless.

No kidding. Ain't it time for you to go wash your ass....er, or is it legs?

Wash my ass? Why?

ROFL

FTR, gochiefs asked about it.

Gochiefs asked if I washed my ass?

That's moderately disturbing.

Moderately? MODERATELY?


:shake:


ROFL

Hey Rob, did I PM you recently? I think I did, but I'm not certain & apparently didn't save a copy of the message.

Ok, here's one: is it weird if one uses a hair dryer to dry off one's crotch after taking a shower?

I was forced to take a cultural diversity class.

Of course I failed it the first time. My liberal-indoctrination was incomplete...

The following semester I already knew what she'd say every day of class. I prepared well thought out and detailed arguments to pimp-smack her. Every day. The whole semester.

She finally said that no one was learning anything because I kept talking.

I said no one was learning anything because she kept talking.

She gave me a B just to get me the **** out of her class...

I once had a discussion about abortion with a very left wing co-worker. Basically imagine if Ebenezer Scrooge had been a perverted, left wing, gay loving, tree hugging liberal, married to a psycho bitch...

...all hell, it would have been easier to say imagine Bill Clinton in a bad mood that lasted for 25 years.

Anyway, so he's going on about how sometimes an abortion is the best thing for a young mother..."for instance, my daughter got pregant when she was a senior in high school and she wanted to keep it. But her mother and I knew that we'd be the ones raising it, so we made her get one".
Upon hearing that I about popped a gasket, a grandparent wanting their own grandchild killed even though the mother wanted to keep it. The only reply I could muster was: "and do you talk to your daughter much these days?"

His jaw dropped and he studdered for a minute before letting out a very reflective "no".