Latest Theory On Carl Peterson Returning To The NFL
 

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Latest Theory On Carl Peterson Returning To The NFL

Headshot_tiny by Joel Thorman on Oct 20, 2011 7:28 AM CDT

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It's been a while since we've heard a rumor involving the idea that former Chiefs GM/President/CEO/Main man Carl Peterson will return to the NFL and work for the Miami Dolphins. It's something we've been hearing from time to time, ever since Peterson went into business with Dolphins owner Stephen Ross on the FanVision product (and ever since the Dolphins current regime started losing a lot of games).

Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk passes along the latest scuttlebutt around the league regarding Carl Peterson, and whether he'll eventually land in Miami in an official capacity.

Star-divide

The working theory is that Peterson will, at a minimum, be heavily involved in selecting the next G.M. and coach. Or Peterson will be the next G.M., at which time he could round up various former Chiefs officials, like Denny Thum and Bill Kuharich, who currently aren't employed by NFL teams.

As if Peterson returning to the league wasn't a juicy enough rumor, Florio throws in the name of a guy who is connected to every job by every fan base after every season -- Bill Cowher.

Peterson also has a connection to former Steelers coach Bill Cowher, given that Cowher worked in Kansas City as an assistant coach before becoming the head coach in Pittsburgh. And with Ross reportedly wanting a superstar coach, Peterson could be instrumental in luring Cowher to Miami.

Supposedly, the Dolphins owner said last year that Peterson won't be taking Bill Parcells' old spot in Miami.

Supposedly.

Shoot, he could not do any worse in Miami than what's currently going on there.

Peterson is really good at the GM thing ***cough, cough, gag*** so why not bring him back.

I warned my Dolphins buddies about this last year. Of course, he'll prolly get both Luck and Cowher so things will look pretty good for about 5 years or so.

He still has a 5 year plan, I'm sure.

Peterson as the GM, hire Schottenheimer as HC when the UFL folds, select Luck for the Win!! Multiple Championships in Little Havana!

So he just might finally draft his franchise QB...

Dear Chiefs Fans:

I just wanted you all to know, that I've been doing quite well in my current pursuits. My chairmanship of USA Youth Football has gone swimmingly. Not one, I repeat, not one pre-teen has defeated me in any contract talks or hold outs. I have crushed all their agents -as usually their agent is their best friend or older brother- in one on one negotiations. These negotiations usually involve smacking a yardstick repeatedly on the table, berating the child with vulgar obscenities they've never heard before and threatening to either take their lunch money, steal their bike or have their parents deported, depending on which tactic gains the most traction.

My FanVision system -which I co developed with Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross- is going great guns. We hope it will soon be deployed in all BCS Bowl game sites for 2012, and our next generation, Version 2.0, should have the ability to reach down a fan's throat, and forcibly remove his soul. Much like I did during my tenure as Chiefs GM. Heh...a little GM joke.

As to my future, Mr. Ross has been involved in conversations with me about taking the reins of the Miami Dolphins and restoring that once great franchise to its former glory. That, as you well know, is my specialty. Here is my Five Step Guaranteed Plan to re-build the Dolphins.

1) Announce a five year plan to return the Dolphins to Super Bowl glory. Do my best to extend that plan x 4.

2) Draft Andrew Luck. Then fight with his agent for an entire NFL season, allowing luck to re-enter the draft in 2013. Downside is, we lose out on a franchise QB. Upside is, I show the entire player representative world that King Carl is back and is NOT to be trifled with.

3) Raise ticket and parking prices in Miami by 800% over a five year period.

4) Get Florida International to play University of Central Florida every year in the Dolphins stadium.

5) Update my black leather wardrobe, re-decorate my Dolphin GM office in black leather, and review wife's current level of hotness in black leather. If she can no longer "raise Lazarus from the dead" -as we say in the Peterson Household- begin scouting South Beach in earnest for a suitable replacement. Note to self: order black leather speedo from Nordstrom's.

In closing, I wanted to remind you all that I left Kansas City literally toting a wheel barrow full of money. A wheel barrow full.

When I FAP, I tidy up with a $100 bill that YOU paid for.

I hope you Chiefs fans are happy now with "Junior" Hunt and The Big Tuna's son-in-law at the helm. I will make it my personal raison-d'etre to crush them both as I serve the Greatest Fans in the NFL, Miami Dolphin fans. In the meantime, don't fall off the turnip truck, you inbred, corn fed, bible belted, buck toothed, mouth breathing, slack jawed crotch scratchers.

A HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Your Pal,
Carl "Delano" Peterson
Formerly LTGMIPS
and soon to be
Dictator For Life
Miami Dolphins

Crap, I was hoping this was going to be another Oakland story.

so...hello everyone

is this good or bad for us? =(

both of our franchises haven't won a SB in a long time......

Good news is - my kid could GM this team after they get the #1 pick. Do you realize how many quality choices you'll have for Head Coach?

Bad news is - King Carl will ruin the team with overpaid, me-first free agents.

Enjoy the next 5 years. After that, 5 years of 9-7, 1 and done in the playoffs, followed by 2-14 seasons...

But hey, what's 15 years in the grand scheme of things?

That's right
deflect the heat off Pioli & get paid

I bet he waits to see if they actually get the first pick or not. Then you can ride in and draft Luck and be a hero.
Posted via Mobile Device

Miami gets the first pick; Carl is hired as GM. Carl trades down, adn selects a RB/OT.

lol.

CP getting another chance after serving 20 years with no championships is rich. I do have to give him partial credit for the Chiefs resurgence in the 90's after nearly two decades of losing. However he should have been fired at the same time Gunther was. His dismal record in the 2nd round should be a signal to all franchises he is bigger than the game.

**** carl peterson.