LMAO

My wife is the exact opposite. She actually kicked the kids and I out of our hotel room once so she could be "alone to do her business."

Didn't know you were a chick.

I hate it when my head says, "Whew, we're done," but my sphincter says, "Not so fast guys..."

The act is usually around 1 minute or so plus wipe time. However, I tend to sit there a while and chillax.

5 minutes on the average, 10 plus after eating Mexican.

My wife doesn't shit.

or at least that's what she'd like me to believe.

7 years in and i've never seen or heard of her dropping a duece. No joke.

I have awful guts. Usually it takes me 10-15 minutes to poop. I shit out a mixture of earthworms and foamy spoor.

Yup. I can cut and dry under 30 secs, but i like to chill there for a minute or two.

at least they stay outside the door. My wife opens the door, my son comes in, the cats come in, its a royal ****ing circus when I poop.

Im about a half hour pooper. Gotta read, relax, take my time with it.

Depends.


Sometimes fast sometimes slow.

Well she obviously does because she wouldn't survive. lol

Same here.

Very clean and quick, though sometimes soft-serve is on the menu.

I'm not exactly sure, but it is longer than the timer on the automatic lights in the bathrooms at work.