I did get to kick it at white oak plaza a couple times
Posted via Mobile Device

SAUTO, get roasting. billay and rico are no shows

Still don't believe half of it. I find some of his stories entertaining so I don't really care if they're a total fabrication, but my full of shit meter goes off repeatedly when I read his posts. Just my opinion. I could be wrong, wouldn't be the first time.

Mis-used meme is mis-used.

Sorry dude, not a roaster. I'm more of a flamer myself...
Posted via Mobile Device

Back of Jacomo?
Posted via Mobile Device

Hootie once asked me if he could borrow some viagra.

I can provide proof.

I got it, SR! :)

Not sure why that is funny. Viagra and Cialis are very popular party drugs.

Rick: clay where you at
7:12 PM
me: here dick dawg

Rick: hey

hook me up with that website again...

is it safemeds.com or ?

me: yes


Rick: is it a safe site?

me: yes


7:13 PM
Rick: so all their meds are good?

how long does it take for delivery?
7:14 PM
me: 10 days or so

get sildenafil citrate

Rick: you the man claydawg

http://i.imgur.com/x457GQs.jpg

How is that borrowing Viagra?

LMAO

I was mistaken.

He only borrowed my viagra knowledge.

Sweet. I've heard tales of your Viagra knowledge.

I can shape the viagra matrix as I see fit.

If you shape the matrix for longer than four hours, you should call Morphius.

I only believe the ones about him kissing men and taking their penises in his mouth.

They are literally the only amusing facet of Rick's entire existence. It's not all bad.

I STILL feel THIS WAY right NOW

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/raGFI8pUau0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Came home to this........?!?!?!

It's cool having a roast of Hootie and all, but does my damn name have to be in the thread title? Surrously.

I literally didn't feel any pressure until reading a few entries explaining why I should feel pressure and well....yeah, I'm a bit intimidated.

You are going to have to give me a little while. I just got home and promised the wife, "cuddle time." Not an excuse...I literally did promise her that. So possibly when she goes to bed.

I will generate something though. And I wish more people would participate. My name in the thread title sux teh pennnnis.

Hootie's favorite movie is "terms of endearment". I'm not saying he's the ghey, but he has three Prada bags and sits to pee. The only times he feels embarrassed and judged is at the grocery store buying cucumbers. Maybe if he stopped measuring them with his mouth in the produce aisle people would stop looking at him weird.

lol

Hootie would procrastinate on delivering the reads but would blame poundings instead of cuddle time. Gonna have to bring the heat bro ROFL

top shelf material right there...i mean gay jokes, damn!

Awesome roast so far!

No.

I'd like to address this thread:

A) Who wouldn't want to try a viagra? I heard they are amazing. Also, I wanted that site for ampicillin but they charged too much so I said **** it.

B) I've never made up a story on this site. However, if you'd like to think that for whatever reason feel free. It's not like these stories are painting me in a positive light lol.

C) Phobia, get over it, brah. 90% of your posts the last two weeks have pertained to how much you dislike me. I get it man. I get it. I think you're a cool guy though! I hate that I disappoint you. Maybe someday we can be friends.

No I'm not the only one who thinks that way, or no I'm wrong?

:) Oh stfu, you assholes. I wanted this to go down without being the only "singled out" freaking roaster...this whole thread = why.

And I have no reason to lie to you people. I promised cuddle time, man. :hump:

feel free to link me to any story you believe I made up and I'll get it verified by one of my friends via Facebook

you guys keep saying you have all these great stories and all of these great roasts

yet I'm the only one roasting (WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT), and I'm the only one with entertaining stories

so ****ing do it and stop saying you can do it

it's not my fault that I'm creative/engaging/entertaining/****ed up in the head

I think it has been more like 98%, brah. I'm secretly infatuated with you and wish I had been like you when I was 35 too.

Hootie is 35?

That thought has crossed my mind (and there are reasons for those thoughts crossing my mind).

Let me get to my business, people. I have some cuddling to do. Stop making this more difficult to get to than it's already going to be.

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...79194436_n.jpg

"I'll be back."

It's not for everyone. But I'm a happy guy, maybe someday you'll be happy for me. You'll always be my guy, buddy.

I won't take the time to find the posts, but I don't believe you were with a girl who pissed in your bed "5 times a week" and I also don't believe any story where you've grabbed another guys junk to avoid getting beaten up.

Don't get me wrong, I hope these stories are true and my feelings aren't rooted in jealousy. I don't mean to call you an outright liar, but something in my gut tells me you're full of shit. Like I said earlier, I've been wrong before and if I'm wrong this time I will apologize for questioning your integrity.

38

Forreal?

You aren't happy.

Am I the ONLY one who remembers Hootie's rant on the Chiefsplanet facebook page last year?

There's no way he's 38.

And btw, if it weren't for the facebook rant, I'd be a bit more panicked right now.

this girl used to piss the bed when she was blacked out drunk every single time

one night, when our relationship was FIRST starting, I talked her into meeting me at the bar where my roommate was bartending...she did...he got us ****ED up...and she had to work at Panera at 6 AM

so her alarm went off at 5:15 AM...she had pissed the bed, of course...and I was like "god damnit" and I woke up...and I kept trying to wake her up...and finally I ****ing picked her up out of bed...and took her to the bathroom so she could get ready for work...

she was so out of it...she looked in the mirror for a second (I think she was still asleep, I'm not sure)...and then went right back to bed (I had to flip the mattress, of course!)...and I was like "wtf?" So I just gave up (it was 5:15) and went back to bed (this was her 2nd job at the time so I figured if she didn't care I didn't care)...

she woke up around 9 AM and was like "wtf why didn't you wake me up?!" and I was like...you've got to be ****ing kidding me

and she was fired

He's 28, which is moderately pathetic.

you just opened my eyes

Get to cuddlin. If you don't hurry she's going to finish before you ever get started.

It's amazingly obvious to anyone who is familiar with your type, Hootie.

as for grabbing dude's 'junk' at bars

I also squeeze the strong guy's muscles and call them big strong men...or big strong teddy bears

in fact, I met out a bunch of people at a bar last week and one huge tatted up dude was there (that I had never seen)...and we were all at one table and after about an hour he was like "hey remember me from last week?" and I was like ....no? And he's like, "yeah you came up to me at the end of the night and squeezed my muscles and told me I was a big strong bear and then I got really pissed off and wanted to kill you..."

and I was like....oh! Cool! Sorry brah!

But he just laughed and said he was having a bad night...and now we're totally cool! BECAUSE HE GETS ME NOW

HE GETS ME

Cool story. I love fiction. :evil:

maybe you can provide me therapy

you're the best

I'd rather piss into the wind. And then post about it on ChiefsPlanet.

dang

guess I'll just stay unhappy

oh well

Yes.

I believe this part. That probably is your idea of cleaning it.

pretty much

besides drunk pee is like water anyways

and these are furnished apartments...so it's not like we bought/kept/cared about said mattress

The next tenants get the perk of complimentary stains

LMAO

Win

Hootie don't care. Hootie don't give a shit. He's crazy. He's wild!

Hootiebadger don't care

This guy could probably ask some people about my stories. Lol.


They all know me
Posted via Mobile Device

holy shit you slept on a furnished apartment mattress? I didn't know people did that. Yugh! Her alcohol laced pee is probably the only reason you are still alive

omg

Yeah that's ****ing crazy
Posted via Mobile Device

Speaking of viagra, rico seems to have some kind of poster's erectile dysfunction.

ROFL

Donger's disapproval of Hootie's lifestyle is so hilarious to me for some reason.

That is easily believable though, come on. Most people that drink a ton have done at least a couple times usually. Admitting it is another story. Others just blackout and do it over and over.

All I'm saying is your immune system must be up there with Chuck ****ing Norris.

Gross.

Think he is talking about a college place. Those furnished couches are worse than the mattresses.

Just like if Obama had a son, he'd be Trayvon Martin....If Hootie had a son, he'd be every ignorant male on the planet.

Black people humor. It's hilarious with a forty of malt liquor.

ROFLROFLROFLLMAOLMAOLMAO Thanks man. I'll give a proper roast.

I'd rather be a virgin my entire life than hear Hootie speak 3 words out of his mouth. There. Done and done.

Since we are supposed to be ****ing with Hootie, anyone clearly remember the laptop story from a few years ago?

What do your mouth and Lisa Lampenelli's cooter have in common?

So...basically, ANOTHER "look at me, I'm Hootie"-thread.

Great work!

Here we go....

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...=laptop+broken