Grand Jury
 

Over the years I have developed a fool proof way of getting out of jury duty for a civil suit....

Now I need a good way of getting out of a Grand Jury, I have untill June 16th to come up with a good scheme, knowing my luck with out an out I will be picked and the thing will go on for years.....

Implicate yourself in the case. 100% guarantee that you're off the jury.

I take pride in doing my civic duty. It sucks but it doing what is right is important to me.

I felt that way for the first couple of trials, but this is the 10th time I have been called for jury duty.

Might work but the down side could really be down......don't want to toss any salad if you get my drift.....

What's your guilty/not guilty record in the first nine?

My first case was a criminal case, ex-girl friend pissed off at boy friend claims he molested the little girl. Took us five min. to all agree that it was a bogus charge.

Next case was civil, an accident in downtown St. Louis at 8 o-clock on a Sunday morning, no witnesses a total he said she said. Spent 15 min. getting enough people to agree to a no fault 0/0 award…had one old boy who claimed some one had to get some money.

3rd case and the one that put me totally off the judicial system. Guy working for TWA driving the baggage tram, goes to work drunk, falls off the tram as its moving and gets run over and breaks his leg. Oh and he was not wearing the seat belt. He is suing TWA, another 5 min discussion; two people wanted the boob to get money.

Next case a woman was in a car wreck and has her jaw broken and now is totally disabled from all of the pain she is suffering. During the (what ever that French word is for picking the jury), she lets out a big old yawn and doesn’t flinch.

This is when I come up with the system for getting out of jury duty on civil cases, when asked If I could be fair and impartial I went into a diatribe on how I felt all lawyers who brought frivolous suites to court, wasting our time and our employers productivity should be disbarred and forced to pay everyone for their lost wages and productivity.

I was excused, used the same speech on the next six cases and was excused each time.

Voir Dire. Pronounce it how you want, everyone else does.

Sounds like you've had some interesting experiences as a juror. I've never even been called for jury duty before.

act reeruned

Act?

Forget that most defense lawyers are looking for that in a juror.

Move into the City and you will get called every two years minimum.

Lived here for a year. Good thing I'm on my way out again.

voir dire [vwahr deer; Fr. vwar deer]
–noun Law. <TABLE class=luna-Ent minmax_bound="true"><TBODY minmax_bound="true"><TR minmax_bound="true"><TD class=dn vAlign=top minmax_bound="true">1.</TD><TD vAlign=top minmax_bound="true">an oath administered to a proposed witness or juror by which he or she is sworn to speak the truth in an examination to ascertain his or her competence. </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><TABLE class=luna-Ent minmax_bound="true"><TBODY minmax_bound="true"><TR minmax_bound="true"><TD class=dn vAlign=top minmax_bound="true">2.</TD><TD vAlign=top minmax_bound="true">the examination itself. </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

I like my salad tossed with a little bit of syrup