Family sayings that stuck with you.
 

So, tonight I've been on the computer a lot. My younger son's dying to get on.

When I'm watching football all day Sunday, he's dying to get on the TV so he can play 360. We go through this all the time. Whatever I'm doing is much cooler that what he's doing. (unless I'm in bed reading)

My mom (Who is awesome) once said to me, "If I ate a shit sandwich, you'd want a bite." It totally makes sense now.

"Don't put off til tomorrow what you can do today."

"you damn kids!"

"Please put down the knife, dad."

FAX

My friends mom used to tell him when he was getting ready that "he moved slower than whale shit at the bottom of the ocean."

My dad used to say "there's a lot of quit in that boy" long before Ron White made it famous.

my dad used to tell me to want in one hand and crap in the other; then see which one gets full first.

"Why am I turning in circles, Mom?"

"Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."

FAX

"Sleep when you're dead"

You'd sell your asshole if you could shit thru your ribs.

"Send em' to school and they eat the books" - pops

DT

When my Dad watches me do ANYTHING that is not EXACTLY the way he does it, especially if I'm having a difficult time doing said thing, he'll say, " They way you're doing that reminds me of 2 old people ****ing."

LMAO Wow.

You could tear up an anvil in a sandbox.

My ex FIL used to say that to which I'd retort "I'll sleep while I'm alive so I don't end up dead sooner thank you." Mr. hardest working guy ever took naps ever day so **** him.

"you're going to find yourself outside looking in"

You couldn't pour piss out of a boot with directions written on a hill and someone reading them to you.

That should be "on the heel" shouldn't it?

I think your dad (or whoever) may have been right.

Same here.

How funny.

FAX

Goddammit son, you gone & dun knocked up your sister again

My mom's mom must have been totally superstitious. My mom used to always say "my mom always said....". Besides all of the superstitious stuff, my dad used to always say "When I say no, I mean no." Not really a saying, but it definitely always held true.

So she was hot? Pics or GTFO.

I need to be better at that as a parent.

My mother was deep and insightful.

"A true friend never truely follows."

"You never trust a man who doesn't drink coffee."

"Here, smoke this Meth it'll help your back."

My mom started with no, but if you could get her up to a maybe you knew you had it. If she meant no, she'd say "go ask your dad". That's when we knew the answer was really no.

As a parent no means no. I'm really glad my ex and I always stuck with that. It sure as hell made things a lot easier later.

She looks just like momma

It could have been meant that way. LOL

These came from my dad's dad. His family came from W. Virginia. :)

LMAO

I picked up "Okie Dokie" from my mother. I say it all the time and it irritates me when I do.

I'd hit it.

See, I'm more like your mom... but I'm the only parent. Gotta draw the line somewhere.

Joey's back!

HEY! That's my sister you're talkin about! :cuss:

Sana, sana,

Heal, heal,

colita de rana,

little tail of the frog,

Si no sanas hoy,

If you don't heal today,

sanarás mañana.

you'll heal tomorrow.

To this day I still say this when my nieces get an "owie".

You can have mine if I can have yours.

"do what now?"

my mom always said it. i forever say it.

Pics?

I relate to this post.

"Tell'em all you love 'em"

"The best way to get over one is to get under another."

"Don't be picky, the worst piece of ass I ever have was still wonderful."

"Go out and get a goddamn job you worthless piece of monkey shit"

I don't have any. She's 5' 11" and blonde. I guess some guys would think she's ok looking but she's my sister so ewww. She's married to a guy I don't like so a CP member has to be better.

"This mickey mouse shit"

And you passed that on... didn't ya?

My dad used the word bastard alot, bastard this, and bastard that. He passed that along to my vocabulary. I try to not use it, though.

If she's over tree fitty, deal. I'll hook up the trailer & come git her

"You little bundle of stickss." Was a good one from my mom's girlfriend.

One I get a lot from my dad is "You'd screw up hogans goat" but any more when I do something stupid he just baa's at me.

My grandpa has hundreds but some of my personal favorites

- "Ill stomp a mud hole in your ass and walk it dry"
- "I could shit through a screen door and not hit a wire"
- "You're windier than a bag full of assholes"
- "Hotter than two rats ****ing in a wool sock"
- When something irritates him: "If you had that and a feather up your ass we'd both be tickled"

I still eat breakfast, dinner, and supper. Not breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Never got over that one..

She's about average weight I would say. Sorry.

Dangit

Hornier than a three peckered billy goat

"Damn son, She's hotter than a freshly ****ed fox in a forest fire."

"You could **** up a wet dream."

"I swear, you could tear up a crow bar in a sand pile"

"Well shit the bed, Lester!"

"Gotta see a man about a horse" (going to the restroom)

My dad said "gotta go to Niagara Falls."

My mom grew up in a very small town (there was a post office, a general store, and a one room schoolhouse for K-8). If you needed to go to the grocery store, department store, gas station, etc. you had to go to the largest nearby town that had those things. Growing up, anytime we were going to the store, my mom always said we were "going to town" even though we lived in town...lol. I still say it a lot, too.

I grew up saying the former. Not really sure when I changed to the latter. Same thing goes for pop vs. soda. I grew up saying pop, but I say soda now. My mom calls it all "Coke"...lol.

I could start a whole thread about this.

I get that. In Weston, we'd drive 30 miles or so to Leavenworth to go to the big grocery store... and usually stop at Sonic and eat in the car. (it was very cool, as a kid)

Finer'n frog's hair.

Finer'n a frog's hair split two ways.

If the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise.

**** the Raiders.

We "went to Hiawatha" for anything we needed. They had a discount store and a few restaurants. If we were making a whole day of it we "went to Topeka."

humph (my grandfather used it ) caught my self using it
and it works

monkey ****ing a football, my dad's

Dad, when I didn't triangulate properly and found myself standing between him and the TV: "You make a better door than a window."

put your left hand on your right ear
and your right hand on your left ear

now pull your head outta your ass
my dad

"I'm going to stomp a mudhole in you."

LMAO

I say that to my boys. Quickly followed by, "Get the hell out of the way!"

My dad used to say that too. I always asked him if he could open me. He never came back.

TIL "triangulate improperly" means "Got between Dad and the TV"

This has been brought up before, but my dad always used the phrase "fall ass over tea kettle into ________"

Another one that I stole from him: "That's built sturdier than a brick shit house"

GF got between me and the tv during last weeks Chiefs game and when I yelled "WTF are you doing?" she paused and said "helping you miss the Casselception." She's so awesome.

I spent a lot of years thinking that my dad invented all of these sayings.

I'd been afraid to say that to my dad. He would have opened me alright. It would have taken some stitches at the ol er to get closed.

You should have bought her flowers just because she shielded you from the pain.

That can't be true.

My dad was a skinny ****. I could have taken him in 6th grade. Plus he wasn't an agressive person.

It's based on truth. She doesn't care about football or sports at all but she understands I do. She did get in the way and Cassel did throw an int and she did say something to that effect lol. As long as she lays on me and naps while I watch the game I like her heh.

I always thought tangling with your old man was a right of passage. Kinda part of becoming a man. I did it... and lost. But my dad's cool as hell, always was. Mom was much harder on me than he was. But as a teenager, a young buck... it's natural to clash with your father.