Bondage, role playing etc. etc.

Uh, simple...he's 18, she's too young, taste test his cock. Or, get off it and let nature take its course!

Requirements to date my daughter:

If you don't understand "trickle down", get off my lawn.
Any man that weighs less than 235 is a pussy.
One language: 'Merican.
God determines who is smart and who is poor.
If you don't think civilians should have weapons designed for the theatre of war, you're an idiot and a liberal.

I could date your daughter but I would be thinking the entire time about what a dickwad her father is so I probably wouldn't. Unless she is amazing at giving head (assuming she is 18+).

Yee Yee!

I'm only 25. If I have an 18 year old daughter, I am proud of myself.
Also,
wat?

Unless you're 6'4", chances are you're a fat ****..

^

At least hes not a raiders fan. It could be worse.

Does he have a Palmer fathead?

He's so fat a fall of 3 feet (to the edge of a bathtub) broke a rib. That's pretty ****ing fat.

I don't think I would want to date your daughter because I wouldn't want to do anything that could conceivably pass along your genes. However, let me address your requirements.

Trickle down is what I do on your lawn, car and bushes.
Chuck Norris weighs 154.
You can't even spell it, let alone require it.
LMAO, if God determines who is smart and who is poor, God must hate your ass.
I previously thought civilians shouldn't have weapons of war but I now amend my belief to state your neighbors should have them. If they can take you out before any more damage is done, they deserve the Medal of Freedom.

I poured sarcasm over the entire post, but apparently the flavor wasn't strong enough.

Also, I love you guys.

If that's the case, then the apple doesn't usually fall too far from the tree (or bathtub). Many, many guys would be good enough for your daughter. ;)