| Rain Man |
09-08-2012 08:26 PM |
A note to the Falcons fans.
Hey, you! Yeah, you, you Deion-drafting, Saint-sniffing, Dome-dwelling bunch of birds! You stink! You hear me? YOU STINK! Your Hall of Fame cubicle was turned into a Starbucks! With a seating area!
Your running back is fat, your quarterback is even dorkier looking than ours, and your third receiver has the name and moves of a Supreme Court Justice. Your tight end is a has-been retread who's never won a playoff game, your traffic is terrible, and your defensive tackle is so dumb that he put his first name on his jersey.
Your cheerleaders are unattainably hot, and I prefer Pepsi! You haven't stopped the run since General Sherman made camp, and you lost a Super Bowl to Elway! No one loses a Super Bowl to Elway! No one even wins by less than 30!
You traded to get Michael Vick! How do you think the Georgia Bulldogs feel about that?
Most of America draws a complete Blank on your ownership, and I think your coach is going by an alias! What's his real name! And what did he do with Bobby Petrino!
We're going to destroy you tomorrow! We're Mountain Dew and you're New Coke! When we get done with you, you're going to wish you were Tampa Bay! As God is our witness, you will never ... get a first down ... again!
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